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(Stuff.co.nz)   Today's 18-year-old waitress beating the snot out of criminals story comes to you from Wellington, New Zealand   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 67
    More: Hero, light skin  
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21803 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2011 at 10:12 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-05-29 10:02:34 PM
FTA: "Often we don't encourage people to fight back, because it can make things worse..."

So...if someone is trying to rape or murder you, don't fight back because you'll only make it worse? Gotcha.
 
2011-05-29 10:15:16 PM
In before the "was she hawt?" comments.
 
2011-05-29 10:17:14 PM
FTFA: "When someone is bigger than you, it is always a difficult thing to combat, but that's the beauty of martial arts, you learn how."

Joss Whedon nods approvingly.

/admitted Browncoat, not a huge fan of his other stuff
 
2011-05-29 10:18:09 PM
was she hawt?


[winking at you, aspAddict]
 
2011-05-29 10:22:28 PM
I bet she is hawt.
 
2011-05-29 10:26:06 PM
Pics

Worthless

Etc.
 
2011-05-29 10:27:29 PM
A swift kick to the nads isn't martial arts. Its just good offense.
 
2011-05-29 10:28:14 PM
I would hit it, then probably be hit back
 
2011-05-29 10:36:06 PM
www.ikigaiway.com

unimpressed
 
2011-05-29 10:37:30 PM
She elbowed one man in the chest, then punched his accomplice in the stomach.

If this is enough to thwart your criminal ambitions, you weren't much of a menace to society to begin with.
 
2011-05-29 10:38:10 PM
Tits or GTFO
 
2011-05-29 10:40:14 PM
cdn.springboard.gorillanation.com

Does NOT appreciate getting slapped on the ass while mourning the passage of her first love.


/I miss the show so much.
 
2011-05-29 10:41:03 PM
"and she's not a big girl, either"??

Because fighting off two attackers is something only Ms. Diesel Van Whopping'uge should be able to do?

"Well, since she was the size of a motor-coach, she 'andily subdued the two blokes what 'appened to annoy 'er...Nuffing to see 'ere..."
 
2011-05-29 10:41:18 PM
The first attacker was about 1.7 to 1.75 metres tall, about 30 years old, with light skin and "on the tubby side rather than muscular". He was wearing a smoky-green hoodie with a cream-coloured logo, baggy dark-blue jeans, and had close-cropped, slightly balding black hair, with stubble on his face.

The car he was leaning on was an older-style maroon four-door sedan.

The second man was tall and skinny with olive skin, about 35 years old, with long, dark, oily hair down to his shoulders, and a moustache and beard.



www.glidemagazine.com

Wanted for questioning.
 
2011-05-29 10:52:35 PM
Well done!

Eyes..groin. That's what I teach when you have no other options.

/Kickboxer
//Student Self-defense instructor
///Still glad he has never had to use his skills on the street
////Hopes he never has to.
 
2011-05-29 10:57:09 PM
She clearly remembers how to "SING"....

Sandra would be so proud.
 
2011-05-29 11:07:48 PM
She posses great skills.

img577.imageshack.us
 
2011-05-29 11:17:14 PM
Oh great, yet another reason to be afraid of women: "If I impulsively give her a flower she might karate me to death!"
 
2011-05-29 11:17:52 PM
Did it go like this?
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. "
 
2011-05-29 11:18:06 PM
She sounds hawt.

/Fapity fap fap.
 
2011-05-29 11:19:02 PM
The first attacker was about 1.7 to 1.75 metres tall, about 30 years old, with light skin and "on the tubby side rather than muscular". He was wearing a smoky-green hoodie with a cream-coloured logo, baggy dark-blue jeans, and had close-cropped, slightly balding black hair, with stubble on his face.

The second man was tall and skinny with olive skin, about 35 years old, with long, dark, oily hair down to his shoulders, and a moustache and beard. He was wearing a black zip-up jacket and jeans, and woollen gloves.

So, yeah.. douchebags.
 
2011-05-29 11:19:38 PM
david1963: Oh great, yet another reason to be afraid of women: "If I impulsively give her a flower she might karate me to death!"

You know, some people pay good money for that. Or at least, I've seen videos of that in teh intarwebs. Yeah, that's it.
 
2011-05-29 11:21:00 PM
Cue the Chuck Norris jokes, please!
 
2011-05-29 11:26:00 PM
My youngest girl, at thirteen, beat up and disabled a male attacker twice her age. There we several 'grownups' present in the parking lot, none of whom would lend a hand. Funny thing, the attending tax feeder cop suggested that she should be arrested for assault, as she won the contest. He later shut up when I asked him how he would put that in his resume.

/Ti Kwan Do
//Two By Four
 
2011-05-29 11:29:28 PM
mainsail: "and she's not a big girl, either"??

Because fighting off two attackers is something only Ms. Diesel Van Whopping'uge should be able to do?

"Well, since she was the size of a motor-coach, she 'andily subdued the two blokes what 'appened to annoy 'er...Nuffing to see 'ere..."



Despite everything you've heard, and want to believe for personal reasons, size matters.
 
2011-05-29 11:40:15 PM
Why does she deserved a Hero tag?
Did she captured the criminals? She simply escaped a mugging.
 
2011-05-29 11:43:59 PM
... she elbowed him in the chest and stomped on his foot. She was then attacked by a second male who she hadn't seen, and he began to pull at her handbag - then she punched him in the stomach. The woman fell to the ground as she fought off her assailants, and the first man came at her again while she was down. She kicked out at him and then managed to get to her feet and run away.

Good for her and all, but how does Subby get from that to beating the snot out of them?
 
2011-05-29 11:45:36 PM
The Face Of Oblivion: She elbowed one man in the chest, then punched his accomplice in the stomach.

If this is enough to thwart your criminal ambitions, you weren't much of a menace to society to begin with.


Tell that to this guy:
www.pollsb.com
 
2011-05-29 11:50:24 PM
I hope she used the traditional Kiwi greeting for this situation:

"DO YOU WANT KARATE?" (new window)

(The article linked in the original thread is now dead, but this one works (new window)).
 
2011-05-29 11:53:35 PM
My grandad told me: "You only have whatever rights you can enforce yourself at any moment in time. The police are there just to pick up your body, or pin you for shiat you didn't do".
 
2011-05-29 11:54:38 PM
Valarius: Does NOT appreciate getting slapped on the ass while mourning the passage of her first love.


/I miss the show so much.


Mourning his passage???

Actually that explains alot.
 
2011-05-30 12:01:47 AM
Probably would have been fired anywhere in the Unraveled States of Ammuricah for pulling such an obviously egregiously litigious dangerous stunt.
 
2011-05-30 12:12:42 AM
fta:
He was wearing a smoky-green hoodie with a cream-coloured logo, baggy dark-blue jeans, and had close-cropped, slightly balding black hair, with stubble on his face.

How does she remember all that??

I can spend time with someone, then leave, and not have any idea what they what they had on.
 
2011-05-30 12:13:10 AM
PacManDreaming: FTA: "Often we don't encourage people to fight back, because it can make things worse..."

So...if someone is trying to rape or murder you, don't fight back because you'll only make it worse? Gotcha.


Yeah, wow, no.

Okay, this is very important, listen up. Any Farkettes reading this (this applies to Farkers too, men get raped only slightly less often than women), you should know that if you fight back, yell, make a fuss, it often can scare the person trying to hurt you off. They tell you this in self-defense courses. People rape because they crave control, and a lot of wannabe rapists are just powerless pussies who are easily frightened off, and criminals of any kind decide it's not worth the risk if the victim starts fighting, drawing a lot of attention to themselves, making noise. The instinct taught to women is to assume a defensive position, curl up and go still - but if you never listen to anything else anyone ever said on Fark (not a bad idea, actually) try to remember to fight back. Go for the eyes, pull their hair, kick them in the crotch. At very least you won't have made it easy for the bastard.
 
2011-05-30 12:14:23 AM
With all due deference to the young lady's skills, if she'd been carrying a .45 there'd be no reason to spend countless man hours looking for the attackers.
 
2011-05-30 12:20:55 AM
Erofeev: Okay, this is very important, listen up. Any Farkettes reading this (this applies to Farkers too, men get raped only slightly less often than women), you should know that if you fight back, yell, make a fuss, it often can scare the person trying to hurt you off. They tell you this in self-defense courses. People rape because they crave control, and a lot of wannabe rapists are just powerless pussies who are easily frightened off, and criminals of any kind decide it's not worth the risk if the victim starts fighting, drawing a lot of attention to themselves, making noise. The instinct taught to women is to assume a defensive position, curl up and go still - but if you never listen to anything else anyone ever said on Fark (not a bad idea, actually) try to remember to fight back. Go for the eyes, pull their hair, kick them in the crotch. At very least you won't have made it easy for the bastard.

This.

I've actually helped turned my fiance from a person that punched like a wimp to someone that can actually hit pretty hard. Showed her places to go for besides just the genitals and how to knock someone over who is bigger than her. The last step is a CCW.

At the end of the day you never stop fighting if this happens to you. Even if you're not able to fight them off hopefully the constant noise will attract attention.

/can't imagine this actually happening to someone you love
//best thing to do is teach them how to prepare for it
 
2011-05-30 12:22:20 AM
Erofeev: PacManDreaming: FTA: "Often we don't encourage people to fight back, because it can make things worse..."

So...if someone is trying to rape or murder you, don't fight back because you'll only make it worse? Gotcha.

Yeah, wow, no.

Okay, this is very important, listen up. Any Farkettes reading this (this applies to Farkers too, men get raped only slightly less often than women), you should know that if you fight back, yell, make a fuss, it often can scare the person trying to hurt you off. They tell you this in self-defense courses. People rape because they crave control, and a lot of wannabe rapists are just powerless pussies who are easily frightened off, and criminals of any kind decide it's not worth the risk if the victim starts fighting, drawing a lot of attention to themselves, making noise. The instinct taught to women is to assume a defensive position, curl up and go still - but if you never listen to anything else anyone ever said on Fark (not a bad idea, actually) try to remember to fight back. Go for the eyes, pull their hair, kick them in the crotch. At very least you won't have made it easy for the bastard.



Not snarking, but you forgot scratching and biting; even if you don't survive an attack DNA samples collected from under fingernails and bite impressions matched against a victims dental records are both strong evidence and have been used to convict assailants.

/watched too much Court TV
 
2011-05-30 12:23:32 AM
Pinksprite: fta:
He was wearing a smoky-green hoodie with a cream-coloured logo, baggy dark-blue jeans, and had close-cropped, slightly balding black hair, with stubble on his face.

How does she remember all that??

I can spend time with someone, then leave, and not have any idea what they what they had on.

ftfm

I say I say..
 
2011-05-30 12:24:54 AM
PacManDreaming: FTA: "Often we don't encourage people to fight back, because it can make things worse..."

So...if someone is trying to rape or murder you, don't fight back because you'll only make it worse? Gotcha.


They may not have intended murder, but may change their mind if you fight back. /Rick Romero
 
2011-05-30 12:31:08 AM
Maximer: The last step is a CCW.

Everyone knows the CCW is a joke and a white-washing project.

/oh, this isn't about the Convention on Prohibitions or Restrictions on the Use of Certain Conventional Weapons Which May Be Deemed to Be Excessively Injurious or to Have Indiscriminate Effects?
 
2011-05-30 01:00:44 AM
Seth'n'Spectrum: Maximer: The last step is a CCW.

Everyone knows the CCW is a joke and a white-washing project.





I get the first part of your troll, but I'm drawing a blank on the second part. Please explain- it's OK to use small words, I'll understand.
 
2011-05-30 02:12:19 AM
adeist69: Seth'n'Spectrum: Maximer: The last step is a CCW.

Everyone knows the CCW is a joke and a white-washing project.


I get the first part of your troll, but I'm drawing a blank on the second part. Please explain- it's OK to use small words, I'll understand.


Actually, it's not a troll... CCW stands for the Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons which is more or less a white-washing project for states that don't want to sign up for serious treaties like the Convention on Cluster Munitions....

It also has one of the most ridiculous full names of a treaty ever...

What CCW was the other Farker talking about? Some kind of karate move?

/nvm, just looked it up
 
2011-05-30 02:18:00 AM
Erofeev: PacManDreaming: FTA: "Often we don't encourage people to fight back, because it can make things worse..."

So...if someone is trying to rape or murder you, don't fight back because you'll only make it worse? Gotcha.

Yeah, wow, no.

Okay, this is very important, listen up. Any Farkettes reading this (this applies to Farkers too, men get raped only slightly less often than women), you should know that if you fight back, yell, make a fuss, it often can scare the person trying to hurt you off. They tell you this in self-defense courses. People rape because they crave control, and a lot of wannabe rapists are just powerless pussies who are easily frightened off, and criminals of any kind decide it's not worth the risk if the victim starts fighting, drawing a lot of attention to themselves, making noise. The instinct taught to women is to assume a defensive position, curl up and go still - but if you never listen to anything else anyone ever said on Fark (not a bad idea, actually) try to remember to fight back. Go for the eyes, pull their hair, kick them in the crotch. At very least you won't have made it easy for the bastard.


You're absolutely right. Case in point: my grandmother, while in her mid-70s, got attacked in a park. Guy knocked her down and tried to get her pants down. She elbowed his face, dropped her purse to distract him and fled. He didn't follow.

The part that pisses me off is that she tried to flag down passing cars for help, and no one stopped. She had to walk home and then call the police. Guess they all assumed she was a crazy lady. :(

Anyway, a couple other tips:
-if you can't break a hold, or get to eyes/groin/nose, drive your heel into your attacker's shin as a distraction and then try again. Or stomp their foot.
-THERE IS NO HONOUR REQUIRED. Do whatever the fark you have to.
-Never, ever, ever, ever get into a car, even if your attacker has a gun in your face. Once you're in the car, your chances of getting out of the situation alive are pretty much nil. If they hop into the car with you, crash that sucker into a lamppost.
-Call out people around you by describing their clothes. "You in the red shirt, call 911!" If you just say "somebody help," nobody will.
-attack with sound if you have to; a scream in the ear can throw someone off guard

/4 years of martial arts; hope I never, ever need to use my self defense skills
 
2011-05-30 02:25:24 AM
I usually dislike the "not a hero" crowd, but in this case, very poor use of the Hero tag, tardmitter.
 
2011-05-30 02:27:52 AM
MENSTRUATION: Erofeev: PacManDreaming: FTA: "Often we don't encourage people to fight back, because it can make things worse..."

So...if someone is trying to rape or murder you, don't fight back because you'll only make it worse? Gotcha.

Yeah, wow, no.

Okay, this is very important, listen up. Any Farkettes reading this (this applies to Farkers too, men get raped only slightly less often than women), you should know that if you fight back, yell, make a fuss, it often can scare the person trying to hurt you off. They tell you this in self-defense courses. People rape because they crave control, and a lot of wannabe rapists are just powerless pussies who are easily frightened off, and criminals of any kind decide it's not worth the risk if the victim starts fighting, drawing a lot of attention to themselves, making noise. The instinct taught to women is to assume a defensive position, curl up and go still - but if you never listen to anything else anyone ever said on Fark (not a bad idea, actually) try to remember to fight back. Go for the eyes, pull their hair, kick them in the crotch. At very least you won't have made it easy for the bastard.

You're absolutely right. Case in point: my grandmother, while in her mid-70s, got attacked in a park. Guy knocked her down and tried to get her pants down. She elbowed his face, dropped her purse to distract him and fled. He didn't follow.

The part that pisses me off is that she tried to flag down passing cars for help, and no one stopped. She had to walk home and then call the police. Guess they all assumed she was a crazy lady. :(

Anyway, a couple other tips:
-if you can't break a hold, or get to eyes/groin/nose, drive your heel into your attacker's shin as a distraction and then try again. Or stomp their foot.
-THERE IS NO HONOUR REQUIRED. Do whatever the fark you have to.
-Never, ever, ever, ever get into a car, even if your attacker has a gun in your face. Once you're in the car, your chances of getting out of the situation alive are pretty much nil. If they hop into the car with you, crash that sucker into a lamppost.
-Call out people around you by describing their clothes. "You in the red shirt, call 911!" If you just say "somebody help," nobody will.
-attack with sound if you have to; a scream in the ear can throw someone off guard

/4 years of martial arts; hope I never, ever need to use my self defense skills


I think in your case, just telling them your name would suffice to scare off any would-be rapist.
 
2011-05-30 02:29:54 AM
adeist69: With all due deference to the young lady's skills, if she'd been carrying a .45 there'd be no reason to spend countless man hours looking for the attackers.

Unless it was a Maori. That would just make them hornier.
 
2011-05-30 02:49:46 AM
adeist69: Not snarking, but you forgot scratching and biting; even if you don't survive an attack DNA samples collected from under fingernails and bite impressions matched against a victims dental records are both strong evidence and have been used to convict assailants.

/watched too much Court TV


What about screaming "STOP! I HAVE AIDS!" Do you think that might help?
 
2011-05-30 02:54:32 AM
Dictatorial_Flair: adeist69: Not snarking, but you forgot scratching and biting; even if you don't survive an attack DNA samples collected from under fingernails and bite impressions matched against a victims dental records are both strong evidence and have been used to convict assailants.

/watched too much Court TV

What about screaming "STOP! I HAVE AIDS!" Do you think that might help?


Heh, Whoopi Goldberg's character in Jumping Jack Flash tried that one.. then when she saw the Russian agents coming, she went back to the gang members and told them she's cured..
 
2011-05-30 03:17:00 AM
david1963: Oh great, yet another reason to be afraid of women: "If I impulsively give her a flower she might karate me to death!"

The only difference between "creepy" and "romantic" is whether or not she likes you.
 
2011-05-30 03:23:07 AM
MENSTRUATION: Erofeev: PacManDreaming: FTA: "Often we don't encourage people to fight back, because it can make things worse..."

So...if someone is trying to rape or murder you, don't fight back because you'll only make it worse? Gotcha.

Yeah, wow, no.

Okay, this is very important, listen up. Any Farkettes reading this (this applies to Farkers too, men get raped only slightly less often than women), you should know that if you fight back, yell, make a fuss, it often can scare the person trying to hurt you off. They tell you this in self-defense courses. People rape because they crave control, and a lot of wannabe rapists are just powerless pussies who are easily frightened off, and criminals of any kind decide it's not worth the risk if the victim starts fighting, drawing a lot of attention to themselves, making noise. The instinct taught to women is to assume a defensive position, curl up and go still - but if you never listen to anything else anyone ever said on Fark (not a bad idea, actually) try to remember to fight back. Go for the eyes, pull their hair, kick them in the crotch. At very least you won't have made it easy for the bastard.

You're absolutely right. Case in point: my grandmother, while in her mid-70s, got attacked in a park. Guy knocked her down and tried to get her pants down. She elbowed his face, dropped her purse to distract him and fled. He didn't follow.

The part that pisses me off is that she tried to flag down passing cars for help, and no one stopped. She had to walk home and then call the police. Guess they all assumed she was a crazy lady. :(

Anyway, a couple other tips:
-if you can't break a hold, or get to eyes/groin/nose, drive your heel into your attacker's shin as a distraction and then try again. Or stomp their foot.
-THERE IS NO HONOUR REQUIRED. Do whatever the fark you have to.
-Never, ever, ever, ever get into a car, even if your attacker has a gun in your face. Once you're in the car, your chances of getting out of the situation alive are pretty much nil. If they hop into the car with you, crash that sucker into a lamppost.
-Call out people around you by describing their clothes. "You in the red shirt, call 911!" If you just say "somebody help," nobody will.
-attack with sound if you have to; a scream in the ear can throw someone off guard

/4 years of martial arts; hope I never, ever need to use my self defense skills


Wowsers.... Y'all are making it tough for a fella to get a little lovin'......

/I keed....
 
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