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(Guardian)   Dell announces the world's thinnest laptop*   (guardian.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Fail, laptops, fine prints  
•       •       •

10781 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 May 2011 at 12:05 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-05-25 12:07:50 PM  
I am the world's greatest person.*
 
2011-05-25 12:08:58 PM  
Someone should tell their marketing department that if users switch to lower-case binary to store all their data, the laptop will actually GET EVEN THINNER!
 
2011-05-25 12:11:18 PM  
Well, everybody knows Macs aren't real computers anyway, so I don't see a problem here.
 
2011-05-25 12:12:36 PM  
dell should be shut down and the money given back to its shareholders.
 
2011-05-25 12:13:14 PM  

ArtosRC: I am the world's greatest person.*


You failed to include me in the comparison group.
 
2011-05-25 12:13:56 PM  

markie_farkie: Someone should tell their marketing department that if users switch to lower-case binary to store all their data, the laptop will actually GET EVEN THINNER!


I find deleting all of my read emails and spam makes my lappy thinner, and lighter! Using compression software to compress folders of old documents helps too. Of course, it's a pretty cutting edge machine, your old one probably can't run the stuffing software.
 
2011-05-25 12:14:36 PM  
No two laptops are not on fire?*
 
2011-05-25 12:14:57 PM  
Anytime I see an '*' at the end of a statement I know it's a conditional lie.

However, whenever I don't see an '*' at the end of a statement that seems too good to be true, I just assume it's a scam.
 
2011-05-25 12:16:53 PM  
As much as Apple has spent telling us all that Macs are not PCs, why would anyone have a problem with this?
 
2011-05-25 12:17:58 PM  
I bet it has more vitamin C than oranges as well.
 
2011-05-25 12:20:26 PM  
I'm pretty good in bed.*
 
2011-05-25 12:23:05 PM  
They said PC, not Laptop.
 
2011-05-25 12:25:39 PM  
I can't believe people still by their shiatty computers.

Dell is the modern day Packard Bell.
 
2011-05-25 12:26:35 PM  
Probably just read ithe ruler wrong.
Those things are tricky.
www.beginnerphysics.net
 
2011-05-25 12:30:07 PM  
I *, therefore I am.
 
2011-05-25 12:30:13 PM  
And no picture?

"Hey everyone, here's an article about the fastest car in the world. So therefore, lets make sure we don't put a picture of said car in the article!"
 
2011-05-25 12:31:45 PM  
I am handsome, competent, and never masturbate. *
 
2011-05-25 12:34:52 PM  

I think I felt teeth: I have the largest penis on Fark*


I have the largest penis in my pants*
 
2011-05-25 12:39:26 PM  
This is the truest statement in the thread.*
 
2011-05-25 12:40:16 PM  
[senatorkyl.jpg]
 
2011-05-25 12:41:33 PM  
I bet it doesn't turn pink in the can either.
 
2011-05-25 12:48:59 PM  
This thread is full of assholes.

*
 
2011-05-25 12:51:21 PM  
When did Jon Kyl start writing ads for Dell?
 
2011-05-25 12:54:27 PM  
Dell makes the most reliable laptops in the world*

*Except when they are just randomly incompatible with standard programs or hardware.
 
2011-05-25 12:54:58 PM  
The rapture happened on May 21st*

*Not to be confused with a rapture, happened, or may 21st.
 
2011-05-25 01:06:33 PM  

wmoonfox: As much as Apple has spent telling us all that Macs are not PCs, why would anyone have a problem with this?


Just because Apple's marketing department are morons attempting to change the definition of the acronym "PC" doesn't mean the rest of us have to eat that bullshiat.
More likely, they were just too chickenshiat to say what they really meant in those commercials: "Hi, I'm Windows! Hi, I'm OS X!
 
2011-05-25 01:12:33 PM  
alywa:
markie_farkie: Someone should tell their marketing department that if users switch to lower-case binary to store all their data, the laptop will actually GET EVEN THINNER!

I find deleting all of my read emails and spam makes my lappy thinner, and lighter! Using compression software to compress folders of old documents helps too. Of course, it's a pretty cutting edge machine, your old one probably can't run the stuffing software.


Are you serious? It's not called "stuffing" it's called "data compression" and computers have been able to run Winzip and similar programs since well before Pentiums came out. Also most recent Windows has compression built right into the file system. So I'm pretty sure that no "cutting edge" computer is required to compress folders of old documents.

Also, email (text files) takes up a tiny amount of space compared to other file types, even if there's a lot of spam.

Anyway all of this has NO influence on the thickness of the laptop, that is built into the hardware and you cannot change it.
 
2011-05-25 01:17:13 PM  
I've always wondered why my laptop was getting heavier over time. It must be my large music and porn collection*.

*the more you know
 
2011-05-25 01:17:17 PM  

No Such Agency: alywa:
markie_farkie: Someone should tell their marketing department that if users switch to lower-case binary to store all their data, the laptop will actually GET EVEN THINNER!

I find deleting all of my read emails and spam makes my lappy thinner, and lighter! Using compression software to compress folders of old documents helps too. Of course, it's a pretty cutting edge machine, your old one probably can't run the stuffing software.

Are you serious? It's not called "stuffing" it's called "data compression" and computers have been able to run Winzip and similar programs since well before Pentiums came out. Also most recent Windows has compression built right into the file system. So I'm pretty sure that no "cutting edge" computer is required to compress folders of old documents.

Also, email (text files) takes up a tiny amount of space compared to other file types, even if there's a lot of spam.

Anyway all of this has NO influence on the thickness of the laptop, that is built into the hardware and you cannot change it.


Someone's sarcasm detector is broken
 
2011-05-25 01:18:53 PM  

ReverendJasen: Just because Apple's marketing department are morons attempting to change the definition of the acronym "PC" doesn't mean the rest of us have to eat that bullshiat.
More likely, they were just too chickenshiat to say what they really meant in those commercials: "Hi, I'm Windows! Hi, I'm OS X!


If Jobs can lie, why can't others?
 
2011-05-25 01:21:14 PM  
I'm the world's most interesting man*.
 
2011-05-25 01:27:17 PM  
I submitted this with a funnier headline*
 
2011-05-25 01:29:06 PM  
I am the worlds greatest lover *

* out of all the people sitting where I'm seated at the moment
 
2011-05-25 01:32:58 PM  
I am the richest man in the world. *
 
2011-05-25 01:33:58 PM  

No Such Agency: Are you serious? It's not called "stuffing" it's called "data compression" and computers have been able to run Winzip and similar programs since well before Pentiums came out.


Bullshiat. When I Apple-Click on Stuff It, it totally stuffs things into a smaller thing for me. It just works. And maybe you're just not used to it since you're not stuffing, you're just data compressing, but my laptop definitely gets lighter when I stuff a lot of stuff into one smaller thing.
 
2011-05-25 01:35:08 PM  

No Such Agency: alywa:
markie_farkie: Someone should tell their marketing department that if users switch to lower-case binary to store all their data, the laptop will actually GET EVEN THINNER!

I find deleting all of my read emails and spam makes my lappy thinner, and lighter! Using compression software to compress folders of old documents helps too. Of course, it's a pretty cutting edge machine, your old one probably can't run the stuffing software.

Are you serious? It's not called "stuffing" it's called "data compression" and computers have been able to run Winzip and similar programs since well before Pentiums came out. Also most recent Windows has compression built right into the file system. So I'm pretty sure that no "cutting edge" computer is required to compress folders of old documents.

Also, email (text files) takes up a tiny amount of space compared to other file types, even if there's a lot of spam.

Anyway all of this has NO influence on the thickness of the laptop, that is built into the hardware and you cannot change it.


Lolwut.jpg
 
2011-05-25 01:38:15 PM  

evilmrsock: No Such Agency: Are you serious? It's not called "stuffing" it's called "data compression" and computers have been able to run Winzip and similar programs since well before Pentiums came out.

Bullshiat. When I Apple-Click on Stuff It, it totally stuffs things into a smaller thing for me. It just works. And maybe you're just not used to it since you're not stuffing, you're just data compressing, but my laptop definitely gets lighter when I stuff a lot of stuff into one smaller thing.


Get stuffed, fanboi. The only reason StuffIt works is because no-one stuffs it. Once more people start stuffing, no-one will be able to stuff anymore and you'll all be screwed because none of you luzers will have anti-anti-stuffing software.

PKZip 4-evah!
 
2011-05-25 01:38:43 PM  
29.media.tumblr.com
 
2011-05-25 01:39:27 PM  
* = Apply hammer to laptop first for correct comparison.
 
2011-05-25 01:40:48 PM  
The farker above me has the worlds largest wang*
 
2011-05-25 01:45:00 PM  

ReverendJasen: Just because Apple's marketing department are morons attempting to change the definition of the acronym "PC" doesn't mean the rest of us have to eat that bullshiat.


You mean the extraordinary successful marketing campaign that ran for years while Apple's market share increased dramatically? I wouldn't consider their marketing department morons.
 
2011-05-25 01:45:25 PM  

Goodfella: And no picture?


For comparing: XPS 15 vs MBP (new window)

/Yeah, they ripped off the styling
//But they still made it fugly
 
2011-05-25 01:45:43 PM  

evilmrsock: Bullshiat. When I Apple-Click on Stuff It, it totally stuffs things into a smaller thing for me. It just works. And maybe you're just not used to it since you're not stuffing, you're just data compressing, but my laptop definitely gets lighter when I stuff a lot of stuff into one smaller thing.


My gawd, you're right!! I just shaved a half-inch, and almost eight ounces, off my laptop by Stuffing my stuffs!
 
2011-05-25 01:48:13 PM  

obzerver: I can't believe people still by their shiatty computers.

Dell is the modern day Packard Bell.


As bad as Dell is now, they are no where near Packard Bell territory.
 
2011-05-25 01:48:21 PM  

poisonedpawn78: The farker above me has the worlds largest wang*


www.carlspackler.com
Actual largest Wang*
 
2011-05-25 01:49:19 PM  

Wogus: evilmrsock: Bullshiat. When I Apple-Click on Stuff It, it totally stuffs things into a smaller thing for me. It just works. And maybe you're just not used to it since you're not stuffing, you're just data compressing, but my laptop definitely gets lighter when I stuff a lot of stuff into one smaller thing.

My gawd, you're right!! I just shaved a half-inch, and almost eight ounces, off my laptop by Stuffing my stuffs!


Didn't you ever wonder why you can eat the same number of double-stuffed Oreos as you can of regular Oreos? It's because even tho there's more stuffing, it's lighter because it's been DOUBLE stuffed.
 
2011-05-25 01:49:27 PM  
I can understand them excluding apple. You have to draw the line somewhere between what constitutes a PC and what doesn't. I am sure there are 'computers' out there that are even thinner than that but you wouldn't consider them to be pcs. My Kindle can surf the web and its thinner than that but I wouldn't consider it a PC either.
 
2011-05-25 01:50:57 PM  

neritz: obzerver: I can't believe people still by their shiatty computers.

Dell is the modern day Packard Bell.

As bad as Dell is now, they are no where near Packard Bell territory.


Hey! I used to have a Packard Bell, so you better just... Aw, who am I kidding. It was all proprietary crap.
 
2011-05-25 01:59:42 PM  

ReverendJasen: Just because Apple's marketing department are morons attempting to change the definition of the acronym "PC" doesn't mean the rest of us have to eat that bullshiat.


To those of us who remember the Apple/Atari/Commodore/IBM/Tandy home computer polyculture of the early '80s through early '90s, "PC" has always meant "IBM PC or compatible": x86 CPU and Microsoft OS.
 
2011-05-25 02:11:36 PM  
not intended to be a factual statement
 
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