Some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/15 - 5/21
Posted by Drew at 2011-05-24 2:58:37 PM (19 comments) | Permalink
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No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-15 to Sat 2011-05-21:
Carnival worker falls to his death from Ferris wheel. If you can guess how much he weighs, you win a teddy bear
Is that a needle in your pocket or are you just Hep C to see me?
The reason for the hasta la vista? Baby
Virus leaked social security numbers of unemployed, offering identity thieves chance to get turned down for credit
People, don't bring your seven-year-old to your drug deals. They usually can't lay down effective suppressing fire when you rip off the dealer
Zoo animals face budget knife. And fork
Ex-IMF chief Strauss-Kahn granted $1 million bail and will be confined to home detention. No word yet on whether he will have maid service
Taliban kills 35 Afghan highway workers, fines doubled
Gay Los Angeles police officer wins $1 million judgment in retaliation case. He thanked his legal team of Sailor, Construction Dude, Indian Chief, and Leather Guy with mustache, and also Tom Cruise for some reason
Researchers find whales speak in accents to their extended family. Scientists listen by use of podcast
Pope makes first-ever phone call to bless astronauts. He says even though Catholics in space are weightless, they still need mass
Indian blind cricket team to tour Pakistan, play against other sight-impaired teams. First match is against the Pakistani intelligence team tasked to find Bin Laden
Yo dawg, we heard that Oklahoma linebacker Austin Box passed away, so we'll put Box in a box so you can mourn while you can mourn
Jason Giambi hits three home runs and becomes second-oldest player to hit three home runs in one game in MLB history. Best use of wood by a middle-aged man since Arnold Schwarzenegger
Gene fights cancer, but also causes cancer. What the hell is your problem, Gene?
Scientists discover bacteria strain that kills blood-suckers. The sparkling. Ends. Now.
The 10 best cars for audiophiles. I thought a full sized Dodge van with no windows...oh, AUDIOphiles, nevermind
Lady Gaga gets "honorary degree" from MTV. The University of Phoenix suddenly seems much more credible
Jake Gyllenhaal sues over photoshopped underwear photo. After viewing photo, judge decides case will be heard in small claims court
Katy Perry forbids chauffeurs from making eye contact with her. If only there were some distractions to keep the chaffeurs from looking into her eyes
The effect of Huckabee's pullout on Bachmann could turn 'er campaign into overdrive, although we ain't see nothin' yet
Newt Gingrich's campaign may be on its deathbed as GOP donors dump him for more attractive candidates
Romney: Obama threw Israel under the bus. In Obama's defense though, in Israel that's safer than being on the bus
Duran Duran forced to cancel the opening dates of their UK tour due due due due due due due due due due due due due due due to laryngitis
Actual headline: "Justin Bieber To Create Female Scent." Isn't that a given?
50 Cent reveals that he was adopted; will begin search for his birth parents, George Washington & Susan B. Anthony
De Beers gets new CEO. They shoulda gone with Ditka. Definitely Ditka
University of Phoenix under investigation for illegal recruiting tactics, including forgetting to mention to potential students that a degree from the University of Phoenix is only one-ply
Toro's profits up 32 percent. OLE
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