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(NYPost)   Presenting: the worlds most expensive luxury condoms. Hide them in your Transformers lunchbox, your mom won't find them there   (nypost.com ) divider line
    More: Weird, Transformers, your mom, Kinsey Institute  
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15366 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2011 at 1:55 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-05-23 10:02:57 AM  
And the packaging, Ireland says, is elegant enough to double as nightstand décor.

Well, Jesus Christ, it's about time. I can't even tell you about all the times that I would have used a condom if only they didn't look so downright tacky on the nightstand. I mean, you're bringing her home from that awesome first date and you want her to see that big pile of garish condoms just lying there beside the bed, not even matching anything else in the room? What self-respecting woman wouldn't slap you in the face and walk out?
 
2011-05-23 10:36:56 AM  
How will I decide which ladies deserve the luxury condoms and which get the free ones from the clinic?
 
2011-05-23 10:40:33 AM  

Barbigazi: How will I decide which ladies deserve the luxury condoms and which get the free ones from the clinic?



Pretty much the same method Elaine used do decide who was spongeworthy.
 
2011-05-23 10:52:15 AM  

Sybarite: Barbigazi: How will I decide which ladies deserve the luxury condoms and which get the free ones from the clinic?


Pretty much the same method Elaine used do decide who was spongeworthy.


It's an interesting way to approach the date experience. At the beginning you show the prospective sex-ee the two condom options, one luxurious and classy, the other pedestrian and possibly expired.

Your choice lovely lady, wow me.
 
2011-05-23 12:51:53 PM  
Luxury condoms? Which ones are the high-rise ones?
 
2011-05-23 12:59:38 PM  
However; is Subby sponge-worthy?
 
2011-05-23 01:20:13 PM  

Fear_and_Loathing: However; is Subby sponge-worthy?


When you think about it that entire episode was about weather or not a guy was good enough to ejaculate inside Elaine. You shouldn't be able to do that on TV.
 
2011-05-23 01:58:31 PM  
"Using data from a Kinsey Institute study that estimates that 18-to 29-year-olds have sex on average 112 times per year..."

Whores.
 
2011-05-23 01:59:03 PM  
came for a Sewer, Gas, & Electric reference

guess i'll have to look it up myself
 
2011-05-23 02:02:34 PM  
www.gmkfreelogos.com

They feature a hypoallergenic lubrication that is 10 times slicker and more expensive than the standard lube and an easy-tear wrapper with six layers of foil that took the company three years to develop.

Is Slick 50 now making personal lubricants now?
 
2011-05-23 02:02:39 PM  

Barbigazi: Fear_and_Loathing: However; is Subby sponge-worthy?

When you think about it that entire episode was about weather or not a guy was good enough to ejaculate inside Elaine. You shouldn't be able to do that on TV.


i um.... never thought about it like that.

i was probably in tenth grade or so when that episode came on, so i didnt know anything about protection other than the guy is always supposed to ask the girl if SHE has a condom
 
2011-05-23 02:03:21 PM  
Luxury condoms? I've finally read it all!
So ladies you just might get farked with a luxury wrapped dick. How sweet! lol
 
2011-05-23 02:08:57 PM  

Sybarite: Barbigazi: How will I decide which ladies deserve the luxury condoms and which get the free ones from the clinic?


Pretty much the same method Elaine used do decide who was spongeworthy.



It's the exact opposite. The hotter the girl you're with the thicker the helmet.
 
2011-05-23 02:09:20 PM  

Barbigazi: When you think about it that entire episode was about weather or not a guy was good enough to ejaculate inside Elaine. You shouldn't be able to do that on TV.


Cinemax.
 
2011-05-23 02:10:58 PM  

palelizard: Cinemax.


Which is cable and not basic television. The rules are just a bit different.
 
2011-05-23 02:11:00 PM  
nice reference to the christwire thread yesterday
 
2011-05-23 02:11:16 PM  

Two Hearted: "Using data from a Kinsey Institute study that estimates that 18-to 29-year-olds have sex on average 112 times per year..."

Whores.


The ****? I'm in that demographic and WAYYY under that curve for the past 5 years. They should show data for 22 - 29, I'm sure it drops off after all that college sex is over with.
 
2011-05-23 02:11:29 PM  

sassynstubborn2: Luxury condoms? I've finally read it all!
So ladies you just might get farked with a luxury wrapped dick. How sweet! lol


eh, no matter how much they are, it's still like showering in your socks.
 
2011-05-23 02:11:50 PM  
For $56 a box, it better come with a guarantee of never breaking or leaking and come with a free abortion. Just have Trojan-Man come over the the chicks house and Falcon Punching the biatch.

images.tzaam.com

//Hot like my women
 
2011-05-23 02:12:27 PM  

Two Hearted: "Using data from a Kinsey Institute study that estimates that 18-to 29-year-olds have sex on average 112 times per year..."

Whores.


Where the hell did they get this number from? I don't think I had sex 112 times between the ages of 18 and 29, much less per year

/also, the only luxury condoms I would consider using are the ones the the diamond-studded "love nodules" on them
 
2011-05-23 02:12:39 PM  

Barbigazi: Sybarite: Barbigazi: How will I decide which ladies deserve the luxury condoms and which get the free ones from the clinic?


Pretty much the same method Elaine used do decide who was spongeworthy.

It's an interesting way to approach the date experience. At the beginning you show the prospective sex-ee the two condom options, one luxurious and classy, the other pedestrian and possibly expired.

Your choice lovely lady, wow me.


Just explain to her there's a cap on the date expenditures and she'll have to make do with whatever's left at the end. If she orders the salad, she's getting luxury later. If she gets the chicken, she gets the clinic. If she order lobster, you're going in bareback.

It's all her choice. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
 
2011-05-23 02:13:28 PM  
Don't the Swarovski Crystals chafe?
 
2011-05-23 02:13:58 PM  
While the majority of condom buyers are married women with children, which in practical terms means suburban moms looking to not get pregnant again,

Really? Are husbands THAT scared to get and get snipped that they'll deal with the hassle of condoms?

...or is it just Mommy getting some on the side.
 
2011-05-23 02:14:28 PM  
I buy mine from dealextreme. $3 for 50 including free shipping. They are kinda tight which I prefer.
 
2011-05-23 02:14:53 PM  

Barbigazi: Fear_and_Loathing: However; is Subby sponge-worthy?

When you think about it that entire episode was about weather or not a guy was good enough to ejaculate inside Elaine. You shouldn't be able to do that on TV.


There was more to it than that! Kramer refused to wear the AIDS ribbon, Jerry is doctoring the size numbers on his jeans, and George... well, George was still with Susan. Not really a George episode.
 
2011-05-23 02:15:26 PM  

sandbar67: Two Hearted: "Using data from a Kinsey Institute study that estimates that 18-to 29-year-olds have sex on average 112 times per year..."

Whores.

Where the hell did they get this number from? I don't think I had sex 112 times between the ages of 18 and 29, much less per year

/also, the only luxury condoms I would consider using are the ones the the diamond-studded "love nodules" on them


I just got warts, they're like natural love nodules. It's like being permanently studded for her pleasure.
 
2011-05-23 02:18:57 PM  
FTA: Naked's target consumers are, in the words of CEO Jud Ireland, "edgy, hip, and rich" RETARDED men and women.

FTFY.
 
2011-05-23 02:19:24 PM  
FTA: only 1 in 3 sex acts among single Americans involves a condom.

The other 2 in 3 involve a kleenex.
 
2011-05-23 02:20:06 PM  
You have to watch out with the extra thin condoms. Only ones I've ever had break.

/yes I beat the length of "extra large"
 
2011-05-23 02:20:23 PM  
'Latex Condo'. Boy, I'd like to live in one of those!
 
2011-05-23 02:21:47 PM  
interestingly enough, I found an online commercial auction trying to sell a sizeable lot of these condoms (390,000 of them) before they expire in Dec. of this year. The reserve price is only $46,000 and the current high bid is just over $4,000. At the reserve price these condoms would cost less than 12 cents each. At full retail these are supposed to be worth $1.95 million?

shenanigans.
 
2011-05-23 02:23:07 PM  
condoms suck.

solution: breakfast in bed the next morning consisting of homemade crepes, belgian waffles, fresh squeezed orange juice, Plan B, bacon, and toast.
 
2011-05-23 02:27:37 PM  
Well that was a longest condom commercial I have ever been tricked into reading. There should be a not-news subcategory for overt product advertisements thinly veiled as news.
 
2011-05-23 02:29:21 PM  
For that price, they better come already in a vagina.
 
2011-05-23 02:31:26 PM  
Or just remind her that nobody ever got pregnant from a beej
 
2011-05-23 02:32:47 PM  

Spongebob Plaid Pants: Or just remind her that nobody ever got pregnant from a beej


or buttsecks
 
2011-05-23 02:33:02 PM  
ok, but does it still feel like, well, nothing?

I'd rather not have sex than have sex with a condom.
 
2011-05-23 02:38:43 PM  

wiregeek: ok, but does it still feel like, well, nothing?

I'd rather not have sex than have sex with a condom.


then you're a sad pathetic person

i'd rather have without, but sex with is still faaaaaaaaaaar better than no sex.

unless you're farking a dead fish [literally or figuratively]
 
2011-05-23 02:40:26 PM  
Gee, Kazan, I'm glad you know objectively what my subjective opinion is.
 
2011-05-23 02:45:22 PM  

you_idiot: For that price, they better come already in a vagina.


Isn't that what we're trying to avoid here?
 
2011-05-23 02:47:06 PM  

you_idiot: For that price, they better come already in a vagina.


I think that's the point.
 
2011-05-23 02:50:14 PM  

Andrew Wiggin: Spongebob Plaid Pants: Or just remind her that nobody ever got pregnant from a beej

or buttsecks


people have, however, gotten AIDS that way.
 
2011-05-23 02:52:22 PM  

Noobian Noob: Andrew Wiggin: Spongebob Plaid Pants: Or just remind her that nobody ever got pregnant from a beej

or buttsecks

people have, however, gotten AIDS that way.


but doesn't washing right away afterwards prevent that? please?
 
GCD
2011-05-23 02:53:53 PM  
When Ireland is asked why people should buy Naked condoms over Trojans, he hands the phone to his sister, Marie, who responds on cue, "Because I'd rather have sex with someone who has a Naked condom than a Trojan. The guy looks better, I think."

Errrr......ummm.....Yeh.
 
2011-05-23 02:56:00 PM  
Nice t0 see mommies who want a piece on the side can have the best of both worlds....
 
2011-05-23 02:56:07 PM  

wiregeek: Gee, Kazan, I'm glad you know objectively what my subjective opinion is.


i should have tossed a smilie on it to make it clear i wasn't 100% serious.

but it is seriously "WTF dude?" to say you'd rather not get action at all than to have to put a jimmy hat on.

Andrew Wiggin: but doesn't washing right away afterwards prevent that? please?


um... nooooooooooooooooooooooo

i hope you weren't seriously asking that .... please farkin tell me you were kidding...
 
2011-05-23 02:56:48 PM  

Andrew Wiggin: but doesn't washing right away afterwards prevent that? please?


Nope.

Also, the guy handed the phone TO HIS SISTER who talked about how she'd rather fark a guy with the condoms HER BROTHER SELLS.

What the fark.
 
2011-05-23 03:00:13 PM  

Kazan: please farkin tell me you were kidding...


yes sir, i was kidding. i'm aware that washing after sex only prevents pregnancy, not stds.
 
2011-05-23 03:01:09 PM  
>easy tear wrapper

Just the thing for the guy that's gotta be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2011-05-23 03:02:06 PM  

YixilTesiphon: Andrew Wiggin: but doesn't washing right away afterwards prevent that? please?

Nope.

Also, the guy handed the phone TO HIS SISTER who talked about how she'd rather fark a guy with the condoms HER BROTHER SELLS.

What the fark.


He's not just the president, he's a client.

/Wink wink
//Nudge nudge
 
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