If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AOL)   Man dies in hot tub after whirlpool sucks   (weirdnews.aol.com) divider line 44
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

9287 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2011 at 2:53 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-05-19 11:25:51 AM  
The complaint describes Van Hoy as "in excellent shape," with the ability to bench press over 300 pounds.

The complaint also mentions his plans to be at the gym 26 minutes after the incident.
 
2011-05-19 12:05:26 PM  
I don't know, I have a freezer from the early 60's that still works.
 
2011-05-19 12:11:34 PM  
Also, whirlpools do not work that way. My guess is he found something more interesting to stick his main muscle in than Cleaveland.
 
2011-05-19 01:17:37 PM  
Wow - wonder what it's like to own a hotel.
 
2011-05-19 02:55:54 PM  

ThatGuyGreg: Wow - wonder what it's like to own a hotel.


Sucky?
 
2011-05-19 02:58:22 PM  
Chuck Palahniuk - Guts (new window)

Approves.
/warning, potentially seizure inducing .gif at top of page.
 
2011-05-19 02:58:41 PM  
dtdstudios.com

Too soon?
 
2011-05-19 02:59:32 PM  
I have used many hotel hot tubs in the past and nothing like this has ever happened to me. The guy must have been some sort of moran.
 
2011-05-19 03:03:09 PM  

RandomExcess: I have used many hotel hot tubs in the past and nothing like this has ever happened to me. The guy must have been some sort of moran.


It happens. (new window)
 
2011-05-19 03:03:31 PM  

envirovore: Chuck Palahniuk - Guts (new window)

Approves.
/warning, potentially seizure inducing .gif at top of page.



I thought of this story as well. That story was the first time I ever had to actually stop reading for a moment to get the visual out of my head.

/I love that sick bastard.

//The forward in the book tells of people vomiting during Chuck's live readings. Awesome.
 
2011-05-19 03:04:29 PM  
blogging.la

Good God!
 
2011-05-19 03:05:33 PM  

envirovore: Chuck Palahniuk - Guts (new window)

Approves.
/warning, potentially seizure inducing .gif at top of page.


Came for this. Even better in the audio version.
 
2011-05-19 03:07:18 PM  
Hot Tub Lawsuit Machine.
 
2011-05-19 03:08:32 PM  

Psycoholic_Slag: envirovore: Chuck Palahniuk - Guts (new window)

Approves.
/warning, potentially seizure inducing .gif at top of page.


I thought of this story as well. That story was the first time I ever had to actually stop reading for a moment to get the visual out of my head.

/I love that sick bastard.

//The forward in the book tells of people vomiting during Chuck's live readings. Awesome.


Yeah, that story is a bit intense. Though it never hit me like he describes in the forward. I had a couple friends have it happen to them though.

/Loves Chuck's work
//really needs to pick up another copy of RANT.
 
2011-05-19 03:08:32 PM  
Is this Link (new window)video of the incident?

/Poor form
 
2011-05-19 03:09:31 PM  
www.myjoblo.com

Poolboy: Hey I found your liver!
/Hot like that water pump must have been
 
2011-05-19 03:15:23 PM  

cretinbob: Also, whirlpools do not work that way. My guess is he found something more interesting to stick his main muscle in than Cleaveland.


Perhaps whirl pool was a bad term. They use whirlpool as a synonym for hot tub. And yes, if they use a single ported suction inlet, they can hold a person down. There have been a few deaths in hot tubs and swimming pools becacuse of these ports. I thought there was legistlation in the US at least that these single suction inlets needed to have an anti-trap cover on them, or have more than one inlet to prevent creating such a deadly suction.

Alchohol may have been a factor.
 
2011-05-19 03:19:45 PM  
This is why if you have a new pool or spa installed, you're required to have two drains that share the same suction line, so no one can get stuck to one (as long as the other is unobstructed). At least, this is the case in NY. I think hot tubs are required to have this too. Look it up, there have been cases where people have gotten held under water or disemboweled by pool filter suction.

/Just put two drains in my above-ground pool a couple years ago
//Better circulation, less vacuuming
 
2011-05-19 03:22:08 PM  
"suction outlet" how does that work?
 
2011-05-19 03:23:57 PM  
why in gods name did he go under to dunk his head? those things are just hot disease baths. even though they feel oh so good.
 
2011-05-19 03:29:51 PM  
INLET=OUTLET?
 
2011-05-19 03:40:41 PM  
This happened to a friend of mine in Phoenix. He and his wife lived in an older house with a pool that cascaded down into a hot tub. You couldn't see the hot tub from the deck or the pool, as the original builder had concealed it for privacy. An outdoor shower used the same pumping mechanism attached to the pool and hot tub, so when you turned on the shower, the suction from the grates was insane. I put my hand over the one in the hot tub, and I could not pry it apart until they shut off the shower.

Anyways, he goes out early one morning to get in the hot tub. Calcium had built up around the tile, so he had a pumice stone he was working with. This, they assume, put him at awkward angles that led to his anus being positioned atop the drain. You can probably see where this is going, but he was just busy, preoccupied with the task at hand, not thinking.

Well, his wife came out for a quick swim, just a few laps, back and forth. She hopped out, not knowing that Rick was down in the hot tub, and turned on the shower. The pump kicked in, and within a few seconds, had completely disemboweled Rick. He didn't even have time to scream before his lungs were sucked from his chest cavity through his anus and down the drain. The drain cover, one of those metal deals, acted pretty much like a meat grinder. Not pretty.

In the bowels of the plumping, the T-Junction's back flow valve malfunctions, and starts sucking Rick's entrails through the system. His wife, with her eyes closed, head thrown back, lost in another world, doesn't realize that she's now showering in bits of her husbands vital organs. She said she didn't know what was happening until she swallowed a mouthful and tasted something beyond terrible, probably fecal matter from Rick's intestines.

She freaks and starts calling for Rick. When she doesn't get a response, she runs down to the hot tub area, to discover that he's just a loose sack of skin flopping around in the hot tub's currents.

She wasn't really right after that. Didn't recover well.
 
2011-05-19 03:44:21 PM  
I avoid the splooge and pseudomonas soup that is a public, communal hot tub.
 
2011-05-19 03:53:40 PM  

spentmiles: This happened to a friend of mine in Phoenix....


MotherOfGod.jpg :-(

/vomits on keyboard
 
2011-05-19 03:53:49 PM  

spentmiles: This happened to a friend of mine in Phoenix. He and his wife lived in an older house with a pool that cascaded down into a hot tub. You couldn't see the hot tub from the deck or the pool, as the original builder had concealed it for privacy. An outdoor shower used the same pumping mechanism attached to the pool and hot tub, so when you turned on the shower, the suction from the grates was insane. I put my hand over the one in the hot tub, and I could not pry it apart until they shut off the shower.

Anyways, he goes out early one morning to get in the hot tub. Calcium had built up around the tile, so he had a pumice stone he was working with. This, they assume, put him at awkward angles that led to his anus being positioned atop the drain. You can probably see where this is going, but he was just busy, preoccupied with the task at hand, not thinking.

Well, his wife came out for a quick swim, just a few laps, back and forth. She hopped out, not knowing that Rick was down in the hot tub, and turned on the shower. The pump kicked in, and within a few seconds, had completely disemboweled Rick. He didn't even have time to scream before his lungs were sucked from his chest cavity through his anus and down the drain. The drain cover, one of those metal deals, acted pretty much like a meat grinder. Not pretty.

In the bowels of the plumping, the T-Junction's back flow valve malfunctions, and starts sucking Rick's entrails through the system. His wife, with her eyes closed, head thrown back, lost in another world, doesn't realize that she's now showering in bits of her husbands vital organs. She said she didn't know what was happening until she swallowed a mouthful and tasted something beyond terrible, probably fecal matter from Rick's intestines.

She freaks and starts calling for Rick. When she doesn't get a response, she runs down to the hot tub area, to discover that he's just a loose sack of skin flopping around in the hot tub's currents.

She wasn't really right after that. Didn't recover well.


Is this some new TFD meme I'm not aware of?
 
2011-05-19 03:59:13 PM  
-This gets posted on Fark every couple of months, usually due to a article dealing with masturbating and/or whirlpools, so I figured I might as well initiate it this time-

Inhale.

Take in as much air as you can.

This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. So listen as fast as you can.

A friend of mine, when he was thirteen years old he heard about "pegging." This is when a guy gets banged up the butt with a dildo. Stimulate the prostate gland hard enough, and the rumor is you can have explosive hands-free orgasms. At that age, this friend's a little sex maniac. He's always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. He goes out to buy a carrot and some petroleum jelly. To conduct a little private research. Then he pictures how it's going to look at the supermarket checkstand, the lonely carrot and petroleum jelly rolling down the conveyer belt toward the grocery store cashier. All the shoppers waiting in line, watching. Everyone seeing the big evening he has planned.

So, my friend, he buys milk and eggs and sugar and a carrot, all the ingredients for a carrot cake. And Vaseline.

Like he's going home to stick a carrot cake up his butt.

At home, he whittles the carrot into a blunt tool. He slathers it with grease and grinds his ass down on it. Then, nothing. No orgasm. Nothing happens except it hurts.

Then, this kid, his mom yells it's suppertime. She says to come down, right now.

He works the carrot out and stashes the slippery, filthy thing in the dirty clothes under his bed.

After dinner, he goes to find the carrot and it's gone. All his dirty clothes, while he ate dinner, his mom grabbed them all to do laundry. No way could she not find the carrot, carefully shaped with a paring knife from her kitchen, still shiny with lube and stinky.

This friend of mine, he waits months under a black cloud, waiting for his folks to confront him. And they never do. Ever. Even now he's grown up, that invisible carrot hangs over every Christmas dinner, every birthday party. Every Easter egg hunt with his kids, his parents' grandkids, that ghost carrot is hovering over all of them.

That something too awful to name.

People in France have a phrase: "Spirit of the Stairway." In French: Esprit de l'escalier. It means that moment when you find the answer, but it's too late. Say you're at a party and someone insults you. You have to say something. So under pressure, with everybody watching, you say something lame. But the moment you leave the party...

As you start down the stairway, then -- magic. You come up with the perfect thing you should've said. The perfect crippling put-down.

That's the Spirit of the Stairway.

The trouble is even the French don't have a phrase for the stupid things you actually do say under pressure. Those stupid, desperate things you actually think or do.

Some deeds are too low to even get a name. Too low to even get talked about.

Looking back, kid-psych experts, school counselors now say that most of the last peak in teen suicide was kids trying to choke while they beat off. Their folks would find them, a towel twisted around the kid's neck, the towel tied to the rod in their bedroom closet, the kid dead. Dead sperm everywhere. Of course the folks cleaned up. They put some pants on their kid. They made it look... better. Intentional at least. The regular kind of sad, teen suicide.

Another friend of mine, a kid from school, his older brother in the Navy said how guys in the Middle East jack off different than we do here. This brother was stationed in some camel country where the public market sells what could be fancy letter openers. Each fancy tool is just a thin rod of polished brass or silver, maybe as long as your hand, with a big tip at one end, either a big metal ball or the kind of fancy carved handle you'd see on a sword. This Navy brother says how Arab guys get their dick hard and then insert this metal rod inside the whole length of their boner. They jack off with the rod inside, and it makes getting off so much better. More intense.

It's this big brother who travels around the world, sending back French phrases. Russian phrases. Helpful jack-off tips.

After this, the little brother, one day he doesn't show up at school. That night, he calls to ask if I'll pick up his homework for the next couple weeks. Because he's in the hospital.

He's got to share a room with old people getting their guts worked on. He says how they all have to share the same television. All he's got for privacy is a curtain. His folks don't come and visit. On the phone, he says how right now his folks could just kill his big brother in the Navy.

On the phone, the kid says how -- the day before -- he was just a little stoned. At home in his bedroom, he was flopped on the bed. He was lighting a candle and flipping through some old porno magazines, getting ready to beat off. This is after he's heard from his Navy brother. That helpful hint about how Arabs beat off. The kid looks around for something that might do the job. A ball-point pen's too big. A pencil's too big and rough. But dripped down the side of the candle, there's a thin, smooth ridge of wax that just might work. With just the tip of one finger, this kid snaps the long ridge of wax off the candle. He rolls it smooth between the palms of his hands. Long and smooth and thin.

Stoned and horny, he slips it down inside, deeper and deeper into the piss slit of his boner. With a good hank of the wax still poking out the top, he gets to work.

Even now, he says those Arab guys are pretty damn smart. They've totally re-invented jacking off. Flat on his back in bed, things are getting so good, this kid can't keep track of the wax. He's one good squeeze from shooting his wad when the wax isn't sticking out anymore.

The thin wax rod, it's slipped inside. All the way inside. So deep inside he can't even feel the lump of it inside his piss tube.

From downstairs, his mom shouts it's suppertime. She says to come down, right now. This wax kid and the carrot kid are different people, but we all live pretty much the same life.

It's after dinner when the kid's guts start to hurt. It's wax so he figured it would just melt inside him and he'd pee it out. Now his back hurts. His kidneys. He can't stand straight.

This kid talking on the phone from his hospital bed, in the background you can hear bells ding, people screaming. Game shows.

The X-rays show the truth, something long and thin, bent double inside his bladder. This long, thin V inside him, it's collecting all the minerals in his piss. It's getting bigger and more rough, coated with crystals of calcium, it's bumping around, ripping up the soft lining of his bladder, blocking his piss from getting out. His kidneys are backed up. What little that leaks out his dick is red with blood.

This kid and his folks, his whole family, them looking at the black X-ray with the doctor and the nurses standing there, the big V of wax glowing white for everybody to see, he has to tell the truth. The way Arabs get off. What his big brother wrote him from the Navy.

On the phone, right now, he starts to cry.

They paid for the bladder operation with his college fund. One stupid mistake, and now he'll never be a lawyer.

Sticking stuff inside yourself. Sticking yourself inside stuff. A candle in your dick or your head in a noose, we knew it was going to be big trouble.

What got me in trouble, I called it Pearl Diving. This meant whacking off underwater, sitting on the bottom at the deep end of my parents' swimming pool. With one deep breath, I'd kick my way to the bottom and slip off my swim trucks. I'd sit down there for two, three, four minutes.

Just from jacking off, I had huge lung capacity. If I had the house to myself, I'd do this all afternoon. After I'd finally pump out my stuff, my sperm, it would hang there in big, fat, milky gobs.

After that was more diving, to catch it all. To collect it and wipe each handful in a towel. That's why it was called Pearl Diving. Even with chlorine, there was my sister to worry about. Or, Christ almighty, my Mom.

That used to be my worst fear in the world: my teenage virgin sister, thinking she's just getting fat, then giving birth to a two-headed retard baby. Both heads looking just like me. Me, the father AND the uncle.

In the end, it's never what you worry about that gets you.

The best part of Pearl Diving was the inlet port for the swimming pool filter and the circulation pump. The best part was getting naked and sitting on it.

As the French would say: Who doesn't like getting their butt sucked?

Still, one minute you're just a kid getting off, and the next minute you'll never be a lawyer.

One minute, I'm settling on the pool bottom, and the sky is wavy, light blue through eight feet of water above my head. The world is silent except for the heartbeat in my ears. My yellow-striped swim trunks are looped around my neck for safe keeping, just in case a friend, a neighbor, anybody shows up to ask why I skipped football practice. The steady suck of the pool inlet hole is lapping at me and I'm grinding my skinny white ass around on that feeling.

One minute, I've got enough air, and my dick's in my hand. My folks are gone at their work and my sister's got ballet. Nobody's supposed to be home for hours.

My hand brings me right to getting off, and I stop. I swim up to catch another big breath. I dive down and settle on the bottom.

I do this again and again.

This must be why girls want to sit on your face. The suction is like taking a dump that never ends. My dick hard and getting my butt eaten out, I do not need air. My heartbeat in my ears, I stay under until bright stars of light start worming around in my eyes. My legs straight out, the back of each knee rubbed raw against the concrete bottom. My toes are turning blue, my toes and fingers wrinkled from being so long in the water.

And then I let it happen. The big white gobs start spouting. The pearls.

It's then I need some air. But when I go to kick off against the bottom, I can't. I can't get my feet under me. My ass is stuck.

Emergency paramedics will tell you that every year about 150 people get stuck this way, sucked by a circulation pump. Get your long hair caught, or your ass, and you're going to drown. Every year, tons of people do. Most of them in Florida.

People just don't talk about it. Not even French people talk about EVERYTHING.

Getting one knee up, getting one foot tucked under me, I get to half standing when I feel the tug against my butt. Getting my other foot under me, I kick off against the bottom. I'm kicking free, not touching the concrete, but not getting to the air, either.

Still kicking water, thrashing with both arms, I'm maybe halfway to the surface but not going higher. The heartbeat inside my head getting loud and fast.

The bright sparks of light crossing and criss-crossing my eyes, I turn and look back... but it doesn't make sense. This thick rope, some kind of snake, blue-white and braided with veins has come up out of the pool drain and it's holding onto my butt. Some of the veins are leaking blood, red blood that looks black underwater and drifts away from little rips in the pale skin of the snake. The blood trails away, disappearing in the water, and inside the snake's thin, blue-white skin you can see lumps of some half-digested meal.

That's the only way this makes sense. Some horrible sea monster, a sea serpent, something that's never seen the light of day, it's been hiding in the dark bottom of the pool drain, waiting to eat me.

So... I kick at it, at the slippery, rubbery knotted skin and veins of it, and more of it seems to pull out of the pool drain. It's maybe as long as my leg now, but still holding tight around my butthole. With another kick, I'm an inch closer to getting another breath. Still feeling the snake tug at my ass, I'm an inch closer to my escape.

Knotted inside the snake, you can see corn and peanuts. You can see a long bright-orange ball. It's the kind of horse-pill vitamin my Dad makes me take, to help put on weight. To get a football scholarship. With extra iron and omega-three fatty acids.

It's seeing that vitamin pill that saves my life.

It's not a snake. It's my large intestine, my colon pulled out of me. What doctors call, prolapsed. It's my guts sucked into the drain.

Paramedics will tell you a swimming pool pump pulls 80 gallons of water every minute. That's about 400 pounds of pressure. The big problem is we're all connected together inside. Your ass is just the far end of your mouth. If I let go, the pump keeps working - unraveling my insides -- until it's got my tongue. Imagine taking a 400-pound shiat, and you can see how this might turn you inside out.

What I can tell you is your guts don't feel much pain. Not the way your skin feels pain. The stuff you're digesting, doctor's call it fecal matter. Higher up is chyme, pockets of a thin runny mess studded with corn and peanuts and round green peas.

That's all this soup of blood and corn, shiat and sperm and peanuts floating around me. Even with my guts unraveling out my ass, me holding onto what's left, even then my first want is to somehow get my swimsuit back on.

God forbid my folks see my dick.

My one hand holding a fist around my ass, my other hand snags my yellow-striped swim trunks and pulls them from around my neck. Still, getting into them is impossible.

You want to feel your intestines, go buy a pack of those lamb-skin condoms. Take one out and unroll it. Pack it with peanut butter. Smear it with petroleum jelly and hold it under water. Then, try to tear it. Try to pull it in half. It's too tough and rubbery. It's so slimy you can't hold on.

A lamb-skin condom, that's just plain old intestine.

You can see what I'm up against.

You let go for a second, and you're gutted.

You swim for the surface, for a breath, and you're gutted.

You don't swim, and you drown.

It's a choice between being dead right now or a minute from right now.

What my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus, curled in on itself. Floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. Tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. The opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. This is the baby they brought home from the hospital thirteen years ago. Here's the kid they hoped would snag a football scholarship and get an MBA. Who'd care for them in their old age. Here's all their hopes and dreams. Floating here, naked and dead. All around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.

Either that or my folks will find me wrapped in a bloody towel, collapsed halfway from the pool to the kitchen telephone, the ragged, torn scrap of my guts still hanging out the leg of my yellow-striped swim trunks.

What even the French won't talk about.

That big brother in the Navy, he taught us one other good phrase. A Russian phrase. The way we say: "I need that like I need a hole in my head..." Russian people say: "I need that like I need teeth in my asshole..."

Mne eto nado kak zuby v zadnitse

Those stories about how animals caught in a trap will chew off their leg, well, any coyote would tell you a couple bites beats the hell out of being dead.

Hell... even if you're Russian, some day you just might want those teeth.

Otherwise, what you have to do is -- you have to twist around. You hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. You bite and snap at your own ass. You run out of air, and you will chew through anything to get that next breath.

It's not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. Not if you expect a kiss good night.

If I told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again eat calamari.

It's hard to say what my parents were more disgusted by: how I'd got in trouble or how I'd saved myself. After the hospital, my Mom said, "You didn't know what you were doing, honey. You were in shock." And she learned how to cook poached eggs.

All those people grossed out or feeling sorry for me...

I need that like I need teeth in my asshole.

Nowadays, people always tell me I look too skinny. People at dinner parties get all quiet and pissed off when I don't eat the pot roast they cooked. Pot roast kills me. Baked ham. Anything that hangs around inside my guts for longer than a couple hours, it comes out still food. Home-cooked lima beans or chunk light tuna fish, I'll stand up and find it still sitting there in the toilet.

After you have a radical bowel resectioning, you don't digest meat so great. Most people, you have five feet of large intestine. I'm lucky to have my six inches. So I never got a football scholarship. Never got an MBA. Both my friends, the wax kid and the carrot kid, they grew up, got big, but I've never weighed a pound more than I did that day when I was thirteen.

Another big problem was my folks paid a lot of good money for that swimming pool. In the end my Dad just told the pool guy it was a dog. The family dog fell in and drowned. The dead body got pulled into the pump. Even when the pool guy cracked open the filter casing and fished out a rubbery tube, a watery hank of intestine with a big orange vitamin pill still inside, even then, my Dad just said, "That dog was farking nuts."

Even from my upstairs bedroom window, you could hear my Dad say, "We couldn't trust that dog alone for a second..."

Then my sister missed her period.

Even after they changed the pool water, after they sold the house and we moved to another state, after my sister's abortion, even then my folks never mentioned it again.

Ever.

That is our invisible carrot.

You. Now you can take a good, deep breath.

I still have not.

End
 
2011-05-19 04:00:05 PM  
Feels the dead guy's pain:

assets0.ordienetworks.com
 
2011-05-19 04:02:41 PM  
wtfoodge.com

It's some kind of "Hot Tub Death Machine"...
 
2011-05-19 04:24:32 PM  
The complaint describes Van Hoy as "in excellent shape,"

Uh no.
 
2011-05-19 04:25:17 PM  
I like the people who think that just because this has never happened to them, it is impossible.

If there is not an epidemic of people getting sucked down into hot tubs, it must never happen.

I think that people don't like to believe that horrible things can happen randomly. That's why we always have to find some reason to say the person who got hurt or killed was responsible. Of course they got shot to death in their own home. They didn't lock the windows. Idiot. Everyone knows you lock the windows. Of course he drowned in a terrible, unpredictable accident. He was probably doing something stupid.
 
2011-05-19 04:40:00 PM  

cousndick: "Guts Story"


Read the thread first perhaps? Posted a link to this 6 replies down.

spentmiles: This happened to a friend of mine in Phoenix...


If that's true, holy shiat. I wouldn't quite right after something like that either.
 
2011-05-19 04:49:11 PM  

spentmiles: This happened to a friend of mine in Phoenix. He and his wife lived in an older house with a pool that cascaded down into a hot tub. You couldn't see the hot tub from the deck or the pool, as the original builder had concealed it for privacy. An outdoor shower used the same pumping mechanism attached to the pool and hot tub, so when you turned on the shower, the suction from the grates was insane. I put my hand over the one in the hot tub, and I could not pry it apart until they shut off the shower.
Anyways, he goes out early one morning to get in the hot tub. Calcium had built up around the tile, so he had a pumice stone he was working with. This, they assume, put him at awkward angles that led to his anus being positioned atop the drain. You can probably see where this is going, but he was just busy, preoccupied with the task at hand, not thinking.
Well, his wife came out for a quick swim, just a few laps, back and forth. She hopped out, not knowing that Rick was down in the hot tub, and turned on the shower. The pump kicked in, and within a few seconds, had completely disemboweled Rick. He didn't even have time to scream before his lungs were sucked from his chest cavity through his anus and down the drain. The drain cover, one of those metal deals, acted pretty much like a meat grinder. Not pretty.
In the bowels of the plumping, the T-Junction's back flow valve malfunctions, and starts sucking Rick's entrails through the system. His wife, with her eyes closed, head thrown back, lost in another world, doesn't realize that she's now showering in bits of her husbands vital organs. She said she didn't know what was happening until she swallowed a mouthful and tasted something beyond terrible, probably fecal matter from Rick's intestines.
She freaks and starts calling for Rick. When she doesn't get a response, she runs down to the hot tub area, to discover that he's just a loose sack of skin flopping around in the hot tub's currents.
She wasn't really right after that. Didn't recover well.


Super-duper pooper scooper.
 
2011-05-19 05:09:53 PM  
@cousndick: Why the hell did your sister use the pool before the water had been replaced? I call bullshiat.
 
2011-05-19 05:24:23 PM  
So... Is the hot tub still open or what?
 
2011-05-19 05:40:08 PM  

cretinbob: Also, whirlpools do not work that way. My guess is he found something more interesting to stick his main muscle in than Cleaveland.



i35.photobucket.com

Bingo!
 
2011-05-19 06:22:54 PM  

spentmiles: This happened to a friend of mine in Phoenix. He and his wife lived in an older house with a pool that cascaded down into a hot tub. You couldn't see the hot tub from the deck or the pool, as the original builder had concealed it for privacy. An outdoor shower used the same pumping mechanism attached to the pool and hot tub, so when you turned on the shower, the suction from the grates was insane. I put my hand over the one in the hot tub, and I could not pry it apart until they shut off the shower.

Anyways, he goes out early one morning to get in the hot tub. Calcium had built up around the tile, so he had a pumice stone he was working with. This, they assume, put him at awkward angles that led to his anus being positioned atop the drain. You can probably see where this is going, but he was just busy, preoccupied with the task at hand, not thinking.

Well, his wife came out for a quick swim, just a few laps, back and forth. She hopped out, not knowing that Rick was down in the hot tub, and turned on the shower. The pump kicked in, and within a few seconds, had completely disemboweled Rick. He didn't even have time to scream before his lungs were sucked from his chest cavity through his anus and down the drain. The drain cover, one of those metal deals, acted pretty much like a meat grinder. Not pretty.

In the bowels of the plumping, the T-Junction's back flow valve malfunctions, and starts sucking Rick's entrails through the system. His wife, with her eyes closed, head thrown back, lost in another world, doesn't realize that she's now showering in bits of her husbands vital organs. She said she didn't know what was happening until she swallowed a mouthful and tasted something beyond terrible, probably fecal matter from Rick's intestines.

She freaks and starts calling for Rick. When she doesn't get a response, she runs down to the hot tub area, to discover that he's just a loose sack of skin flopping around in the hot tub's currents.

She wasn't really right after that. Didn't recover well.



i.imgur.com

/GIMPed the image just now
 
2011-05-19 06:25:50 PM  

envirovore: cousndick: "Guts Story"

Read the thread first perhaps? Posted a link to this 6 replies down.


It's blocked at work, so I went ahead and reposted it.
But to be fair, yes you did post it first therefore I beseech you to take the credit for it.
 
2011-05-19 06:37:20 PM  

spentmiles: This happened to a friend of mine in Phoenix. He and his wife lived in an older house with a pool that cascaded down into a hot tub. You couldn't see the hot tub from the deck or the pool, as the original builder had concealed it for privacy. An outdoor shower used the same pumping mechanism attached to the pool and hot tub, so when you turned on the shower, the suction from the grates was insane. I put my hand over the one in the hot tub, and I could not pry it apart until they shut off the shower.

Anyways, he goes out early one morning to get in the hot tub. Calcium had built up around the tile, so he had a pumice stone he was working with. This, they assume, put him at awkward angles that led to his anus being positioned atop the drain. You can probably see where this is going, but he was just busy, preoccupied with the task at hand, not thinking.

Well, his wife came out for a quick swim, just a few laps, back and forth. She hopped out, not knowing that Rick was down in the hot tub, and turned on the shower. The pump kicked in, and within a few seconds, had completely disemboweled Rick. He didn't even have time to scream before his lungs were sucked from his chest cavity through his anus and down the drain. The drain cover, one of those metal deals, acted pretty much like a meat grinder. Not pretty.

In the bowels of the plumping, the T-Junction's back flow valve malfunctions, and starts sucking Rick's entrails through the system. His wife, with her eyes closed, head thrown back, lost in another world, doesn't realize that she's now showering in bits of her husbands vital organs. She said she didn't know what was happening until she swallowed a mouthful and tasted something beyond terrible, probably fecal matter from Rick's intestines.

She freaks and starts calling for Rick. When she doesn't get a response, she runs down to the hot tub area, to discover that he's just a loose sack of skin flopping around in the hot tub's currents.

She wasn't really right after that. Didn't recover well.


Yeah. That's not true.
 
2011-05-19 06:53:45 PM  

cousndick: envirovore: cousndick: "Guts Story"

Read the thread first perhaps? Posted a link to this 6 replies down.

It's blocked at work, so I went ahead and reposted it.
But to be fair, yes you did post it first therefore I beseech you to take the credit for it.


Oh. My bad for coming off like a douche then.
 
2011-05-19 08:18:54 PM  
It's all good.

/luv your beer collection btw
//no homo
 
2011-05-19 08:27:43 PM  
Thanks!

/and same, NTTAWWT if that's peoples thing.
 
2011-05-19 08:44:38 PM  

cryinoutloud: Super-duper pooper scooper.


One man, one jar - in reverse.
 
2011-05-19 11:15:48 PM  

Isildur: /GIMPed the image just now


I like it! Got a laugh out of me.
 
2011-05-20 10:17:50 AM  
This happened at a ski resort in Montana some years ago - a little girl about ten years old was playing in a hot tub when her pony tail got sucked into the drain and she was held underwater while her parents frantically tried to free her. By the time someone was able to find a pocket knife and cut her hair from the suction, which was so strong that her parents were unable to pull her from it, she was dead. At the trial against the manufacturer it was revealed that a half a dozen or so other people had also died of this same design defect, but the manufacturer had never changed the design -- leading to the lawyer for the girl's family to say, "How many dead little girls is an acceptable number of dead little girls?"
 
Displayed 44 of 44 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report