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(Mother Nature Network)   The most hated baby names in America. We're looking at you, Brayden and Kaitlyn   (mnn.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, baby names, University of Louisville, masculine men, Laura Wattenberg, Jean Twenge  
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22756 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2011 at 6:00 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-05-17 10:13:24 PM  

T.M.S.: My daughter is named August after a deceased family friend who was a brilliant writer.

Her sister who will be born this Thursday will be named after one of his characters: Citizen.

So, a kid named August and another Citizen. Odd on some level but there is a pretty good reason for it.

At least neither name is particularly popular.


I hope your last name is not Kane
 
2011-05-17 10:13:36 PM  

Cpl.D: The worst names: African american muslim names.

"Hey there, short stuff. What's your name?"

"Tamiqua Shabazz Al-Ahmehdi"

"Yeaaaahhhh... hi, Tammy. We'll go with that."


Just give them the middle name "Allahu Ackbar" which means, as I understand from Associated Press articles, "I have to go the bathroom NOW!!!"
 
2011-05-17 10:14:42 PM  
Two of my fossil collecting friends have named their respective kids Flossie (anagram of 'fossile', which is the french spelling of 'fossil'), and Amber, which is fossil resin.
I'm going to name my kid Pseudogygites latimarginatus.
 
2011-05-17 10:16:37 PM  

AlanSmithee: Two of my fossil collecting friends have named their respective kids Flossie (anagram of 'fossile', which is the french spelling of 'fossil'), and Amber, which is fossil resin.
I'm going to name my kid Pseudogygites latimarginatus.


At least they didn't name their kids Indy.
 
2011-05-17 10:16:54 PM  

SundaesChild: I'm likely not having anymore - Maia graduates next month making me DONE - but on the off chance I spawn again I like Gideon for a boy and Moriah for a girl. Moriah is a family name and Gideon is just cool.


... if you want your kid to be associated with hotel Bibles.
 
2011-05-17 10:16:58 PM  
I'll be naming my firstborn son Optimus Prime. If anyone has a problem with that, his younger brother Grimlock will fark their shiat up.
 
2011-05-17 10:17:16 PM  

saintstryfe: SundaesChild: That happened with us. When we named her (Maia), it was not even in the top 1000 baby names. Now she's 17, and it's 500-something and climbing. And the alternate spelling, Maya, is something like 35th.

Huh, my now-4-year-old niece is Mya and everyone says how pretty a name it is and unique... I think it's very common, though it is a nice spelling.

/and she could be named "Nuclear Weapon" and still be too cute for words.


But would you pronounce it "nu-clee-ar" or "nu-cu-lar"? The first would be okay, the second is just stupid.
 
2011-05-17 10:17:40 PM  

Spaghettiows: I know the article briefly alluded to this, but when will we see the return of these?

Frank, George, Howard, Harley, Stanley

Agatha, Hilda, Esther, Helen, Joan


Honestly? I'd predict them to become popular soon. Otto is on the way back.

It's all about old people names, people older than the current general old people/grandparents. So the names sound "quirky" on babies, yet are still traditional.

"Haha! It's so quirky and unique, he's got the name of an old man but he's a BABY!!!"

So yeah, Frank, Gertrude, Etta, Mabel, Otto, that sort of thing. The flower names for girls (Violet, Iris, Rose). Names you'd see on a bowling shirt (i.e. people who were young adults to middle aged in the 50's).

People around me who would probably be pegged as "hipsters" seem big into the trend (all having their kids now in their mid-late 20's).

ScottRiqui: Three of us were born in the 1950s and one in 1970, so "trendy" names weren't quite the problem they are now, anyway.


I dunno, there's a reason every other girl was named "Jennifer" or "Suzanne" for a while, also lots of "Linda." Now those names aren't attractive because they're, well, middle-aged and baby-boomer. Old enough to be dowdy but not old enough to be cool and quirky again.

Probably the worst name I've seen locally was a girl named "Tyranny." I have no idea how she pronounced it as I didn't know her personally, but she HAD to know it was terrible - she was in the paper for winning an elementary school spelling bee.

At least it's fairly trivial to change your name in the US once you hit 18.

Still, horrible baby naming trends surely exist worldwide. Goodness knows Japan has its share - similar to the wacky spelling thing in English, people will use characters with readings that don't exist in normal writing, or use characters with awful meanings to the point you wonder if they know how to read, or shoehorn the wacky character readings into some facsimile of foreign names. The stereotype is that it's low class "trashy" people who do that, of course.
 
2011-05-17 10:21:13 PM  

AlanSmithee: Two of my fossil collecting friends have named their respective kids Flossie (anagram of 'fossile', which is the french spelling of 'fossil'), and Amber, which is fossil resin.
I'm going to name my kid Pseudogygites latimarginatus.


Great names for kids of fossil collectors:

Rex
Elvis
Lazarus
Peterfied
Jurassica
 
2011-05-17 10:21:52 PM  
Joey Hana Kana Bobaconando Smith.

/Is there anything too obscure for Fark?
//Let's find out.
 
2011-05-17 10:22:24 PM  

KulkulkanX: Why is it so many white folks feel the same to use surnames as personal names? Aren't these the same people who laugh at blacks use "Shaniqua" and other such coinages, or we Latinos using such as "Jesus"? At least you'll never catch us with monickers like "Gonzales Rodriguez" or some such nonsense.


Not just "white folks," it's "upwardly mobile American white folks." Yuppies, or people aspiring to be yuppies.

People do it thinking it's classy and old money or hopefully British, but apparently in the UK that "last name as a first name" thing pretty much screams "American."

But yeah, people like to laugh at the "fake African" (or more often "fake French") names as "haha, black names" but somehow overlook the equally stupid fake Celtic trend, the "just add Y! Lots of Y!" thing, and the "could be from Tolkien" thing.

It's all social climbing, just among different crowds.
 
2011-05-17 10:26:41 PM  

itazurakko: But yeah, people like to laugh at the "fake African" (or more often "fake French") names as "haha, black names" but somehow overlook the equally stupid fake Celtic trend, the "just add Y! Lots of Y!" thing, and the "could be from Tolkien" thing.


This has probably already been linked a dozen times, but: Baby's named a Bad, Bad Thing (new window)

(Part I: Brought to You By the Letter Y)
(Part VI: When You're in Love, the Whole World is Welsh)
 
2011-05-17 10:29:02 PM  
So I jumped the gun on the shiathead and Le-a. Maybe I jinxed it.

But I got:
Thinly veiled racism

The Propecia .jpeg

Someone who wants to name their kid Siobhan, just so they get to spell it for other parents and teachers. They will also sigh while spelling this poor child's name, as if to say "It is pronounce shavahn. How could you not know this"

And the 1:1 payoff of ayden hate.
 
Slu
2011-05-17 10:29:10 PM  

Mistymtnhop: Slu: Just named my daughter Scarlett. She is awesome.

Awwwwwwwwww!!! Congrats!!


Thanks very much! She has been a lot of fun so far.
 
2011-05-17 10:29:50 PM  

Teknowaffle: And the 1:1 payoff of ayden hate.


It was a heck of a lot more than 1:1 thank you very much!
 
2011-05-17 10:31:11 PM  
I will share my favorite boy's name with you.

Skeletor.

There is nothing else.
 
2011-05-17 10:32:46 PM  
A high school friend named her kid Aizik (Isaac) another with a girl named Klohe (Chloe) and my son goes to school with a girl named Aviri (Avery). Odd.
 
2011-05-17 10:34:33 PM  

Aidan: This has probably already been linked a dozen times, but: Baby's named a Bad, Bad Thing (new window)

(Part I: Brought to You By the Letter Y)
(Part VI: When You're in Love, the Whole World is Welsh)


OH yeah that site is pure win!
 
2011-05-17 10:37:00 PM  
Some of my FB friends kids names:
Avery (girl) x2
Bayleigh
Ashton
Aidan (girl)
Breydon
McKenzie (I farking HATE that name)
Journey
Jaleigh
Cash
Jaxsen
Zibba (it's a nickname for Elizabeth, but that still doesn't make it ok)
Montana (girl)
Maitland
Landan
Raya

And the worst name EVER:
Xanadu
 
2011-05-17 10:40:04 PM  
Nathan
Everett

Maya if I had a girl.
 
2011-05-17 10:43:52 PM  

teacher M: You're kidding! Most doctors have historically WASP names?!!!?


Yeah, shocking, ain't it? ;D

My ex-wife and I gave our sons good, strong German names. (My family is Prussian, hers is Austrian.)
 
2011-05-17 10:47:28 PM  
I named my kid Lucifer for shytes and giggles
 
2011-05-17 10:48:36 PM  

NASAM: Some of my FB friends kids names:
Avery (girl) x2
Bayleigh
Ashton
Aidan (girl)
Breydon
McKenzie (I farking HATE that name)
Journey
Jaleigh
Cash
Jaxsen
Zibba (it's a nickname for Elizabeth, but that still doesn't make it ok)
Montana (girl)
Maitland
Landan
Raya

And the worst name EVER:
Xanadu


Approves.
profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2011-05-17 10:49:56 PM  
A co-worker has twin boys (nearly 11 years old now) named Uriah and Mark (or something similarly Biblical). Another coworker baby-sat twin boys named Arian (say it out loud) and Aiden; she always asked me why I laughed when she told stories about what Arian was up to now.

I never thought I'd work with people named Norma Jean, Ebonie, LaQuisha, or Beth Anne.

The single most awesome name I ever came across was a girl with whom I attended college: Eowyn-Rose Galadriel (last name). Her parents were TOTAL geeks, no doubt, in the 1980's. Nevertheless, Eowyn farking owned her name and made it mean something other than "daughter of geeky hippies"
 
2011-05-17 10:50:07 PM  
My Aunt was named after her two Grandmothers -- Dora and Belle. And in the best southern tradition, both were used. Granted she was born in 1916, but still Dora Belle?

Here's a good one, Spring, last name Cloud
 
2011-05-17 10:50:27 PM  
Neighbors growing had kids named AJ, BJ, and CJ.

Andy, Brian and Cathy.

Funny thing is that Cathy is the oldest. AJ and BJ are her younger fraternal twin brothers.

Everyone called them AJ, BJ and CJ.

Sucks to be BJ.
 
2011-05-17 10:51:46 PM  

yellowcat: My Aunt was named after her two Grandmothers -- Dora and Belle. And in the best southern tradition, both were used. Granted she was born in 1916, but still Dora Belle?

Here's a good one, Spring, last name Cloud


ok, cut off part of my post -- link to Dr. Spring Cloud

(new window)
 
2011-05-17 10:53:25 PM  

yellowcat: yellowcat: My Aunt was named after her two Grandmothers -- Dora and Belle. And in the best southern tradition, both were used. Granted she was born in 1916, but still Dora Belle?

Here's a good one, Spring, last name Cloud

ok, cut off part of my post -- link to Dr. Spring Cloud

(new window)


ok, can't get the link to work -- http://www.ochsner.org/find_a_doctor/doctor/spring_cloud/
 
2011-05-17 10:54:37 PM  
My brother-in-law just named his son McCoy. Gag me. Also, my parents grew up in a fairly small town and there was a woman there who named her son Ptomaine. I'm not sure how she spelled it.
 
2011-05-17 10:56:16 PM  

U8D1EyedSnake: My brother-in-law just named his son McCoy. Gag me. Also, my parents grew up in a fairly small town and there was a woman there who named her son Ptomaine. I'm not sure how she spelled it.


... Isn't that a kind of poisoning?
 
2011-05-17 10:57:03 PM  
I named my son Phillip. Boring, perhaps. But the Dalai Lama said he'd receive total consciousness at death's door so he's got that going for him.
 
2011-05-17 10:57:07 PM  

JC Webster III: I named my kid Lucifer for shytes and giggles


Who are Shytes and Giggles, and why did you let such horribly named people influence your child naming decisions?
 
2011-05-17 11:02:30 PM  

Anagrammer: Porous Horace: But ... how exactly does one pronounce "Nevaeh"? Nev-ah-eh?

According to the ads, it's pronounced "¼ moisturizing cream". (new window)


That can't be right. How in any way can "ae" be pronounced "ea"?
So, in as many combos as I can think of:
"Neva-ay"? "Nevah" (like "hah")? "Neveh" (like "heh")? "Nevay"?

Fark this. Idiots.
 
2011-05-17 11:02:30 PM  
Tip for teachers: If you ever have to send a note home to the parent of a kid with a weirdly-spelled name, write the entire note with the same weird spelling!

"To Mr. and Mrs. Davys,

Kaytlynn was byhyvyng vyry bydly yn school tyday...."
 
2011-05-17 11:03:23 PM  
1. Nevaeh - eyeroll
2. Destiny - Stripper name.
3. Madison - Place name: Stripper name.
4. Mackenzie - Stripper name.
5. McKenna - See #4
6. Addison - See #4
7. Gertrude - Oh you're so ironically post modern
8. Kaitlyn - Punt
9. Makayla - How safely ethnic
10. Bertha - See #7
11. Hope - Stripper name.
 
2011-05-17 11:05:49 PM  

Anagrammer: Tip for teachers: If you ever have to send a note home to the parent of a kid with a weirdly-spelled name, write the entire note with the same weird spelling!

"To Mr. and Mrs. Davys,

Kaytlynn was byhyvyng vyry bydly yn school tyday...."


*snicker* I like this.
 
2011-05-17 11:07:16 PM  
PSA: "Siobhan" is pronounced "sheh VON"
 
2011-05-17 11:08:36 PM  
How about Knox Defender? Brother to Triumph Perseverance.

Gotta love fundie Christians...
 
2011-05-17 11:08:53 PM  
Aidan:
... Isn't that a kind of poisoning?


Yes. Yes it is.
 
2011-05-17 11:10:09 PM  
Also, I see some of these names, and this - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav - is what comes to mind.
 
2011-05-17 11:12:15 PM  
1. Jayden
2. Brayden
3. Aiden
4. Kaden
5. Hunter - WTF is this doing here in the /[^aeiou]{1,2]?a[^iy]den/ section?
6. Hayden
7. Bentley - Car name: Stripper name.
8. Tristan - Oh you're so cultured
9. Michael - That's just fine.
10. Jackson - Do not combine with #9


No Xaden? Glaivin? Tlayden? Psamen? Fraiden? Quaden?
 
2011-05-17 11:12:34 PM  

JungleBoogie: PSA: "Siobhan" is pronounced "sheh VON"


Is this one of those things like Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
 
2011-05-17 11:13:34 PM  
My friend's first name is Macintyre, I always thought that was an awesome name.

/ There's also a Dr. Courage (first name) near where I live, always found that hilarious
 
2011-05-17 11:15:28 PM  
There was a section in our Sociology 210 textbook that told about the lives of two brothers named "Winner" and "Loser." Winner went on to become a drug dealer and Loser grew up to be a respected policeman.

In my hometown, Douglas Blowe married Phoebe Goode. Legally her name was Phoebe Goode Blowe. They named their son Gaylon, which was later shortened to Gay Blowe. He grew up to be a mean kid who openly loathed his parents.

And I remember reading about a court case where a judge ordered a mother of a little girl to change her child's name from "Vagina" to "Regina." The mother initially refused, and the judge had her jailed for a time.

/csb
 
2011-05-17 11:15:50 PM  
 
2011-05-17 11:17:18 PM  

Anagrammer: JungleBoogie: PSA: "Siobhan" is pronounced "sheh VON"

Is this one of those things like Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?


In all fairness, no. :) It actually DOES correspond to gaelic -> english word conventions. It's important to note that when "we" went around trying to make other languages conform to our romanized alphabet (oh pin-yin, how you mock me), we had some troubles getting some of the sounds right.

The important things to note are that S is actually SH when followed by CERTAIN vowels (i/o/u?). And bh always sounds like v in the middle of a word. Also idh = y at the end of a word, not that it applies here.
 
2011-05-17 11:17:30 PM  

Anagrammer: JungleBoogie: PSA: "Siobhan" is pronounced "sheh VON"

Is this one of those things like Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?


I believe that's pronounced "Sylvia".
 
2011-05-17 11:22:55 PM  
How its spelled....shiathead
How its pronounced...shha thead
pass it along
 
2011-05-17 11:23:53 PM  
My daughters' names:

Mahalia (muh-hay-lee-uh)
Araiyah (uh-rye-yuh)

Yeah...we like to have "different" names in our family...I'm the oddball (Jeremy).
 
2011-05-17 11:24:01 PM  

BuckTurgidson: 8. Tristan - Oh you're so cultured


Whenever I meet someone named Tristan the first thing my mind goes to is Tristram, the town in Diablo.
 
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