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(Some Guy)   Have you ever wondered what a professional "shed mover" would look like? Wonder no more, my friends   (naplesnews.com ) divider line
    More: Florida  
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11607 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2011 at 1:12 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments     (+0 »)
 


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2011-05-13 09:31:10 AM  
Can he move two sheds?
 
2011-05-13 09:37:44 AM  
SON
I AM DISAPOINT
 
2011-05-13 09:48:24 AM  

Sybarite: Can he move two sheds?


I can. Though that was when I lived next door to Arthur Jackson.
 
2011-05-13 10:31:41 AM  
If you still have your (presumably older than) 23 year old son living at home and you still have to mention his computer habits and to eat his vegetables, you'd be a little testy, too.
 
2011-05-13 01:13:11 PM  
Is that the gun salesman from the Borderlands game?
 
2011-05-13 01:14:14 PM  
I'm not your friend, pal!
 
2011-05-13 01:15:14 PM  
My cat sheds, could you move that?
 
2011-05-13 01:15:49 PM  
arrest?

really?

*sigh*
 
2011-05-13 01:16:23 PM  
Amongst my other discreet talents I move sheds, no questions asked.
 
2011-05-13 01:18:03 PM  
Good old Naples. For such a small, town it certainly does get a solid amount of attention from Farkers.
 
2011-05-13 01:18:18 PM  
Kids at least 23, lives at home and spends too much time on the computer. Wonder what his Fark handle is and how many level 70 alts he has on WoW.
 
2011-05-13 01:18:40 PM  
"...bruising on his harm."

Oh Dear God, Nooooooo!
 
2011-05-13 01:23:38 PM  
Came here for the Monty Python reference, leaving satisfied.
 
2011-05-13 01:23:48 PM  
Is he a Margera?
 
2011-05-13 01:24:16 PM  

Sweaty Dynamite: "...bruising on his harm."

Oh Dear God, Nooooooo!


The stepson suffered minor scratches and bruising on his harm


I like how the author/editor cleverly disguised this combination of ham and arm as a typo. Dude has ham arms.
 
2011-05-13 01:27:53 PM  
media.naplesnews.com
Luigi, I am disapoint
 
2011-05-13 01:28:10 PM  
s1.postimage.org
 
2011-05-13 01:32:21 PM  
"I like to play wiffle ball with my friend, Billy. I'm Ken Griffey Jr.!"

"Jesus Christ, Donny! You're 23 years old! That kid's 8!"
 
2011-05-13 01:33:02 PM  
so the stepson is at least 23 years old and is still not eating his vegetables.

also, he suffered a bruise on his ham.
 
2011-05-13 01:35:34 PM  
Rickard and his stepson were at the dinner table together when the father grew angry over his stepson's refusal to eat his vegetables and over his computer usage. The stepson, who has lived with Rickard for 23 years,

23 year old still living at home and still being told to eat his vegetables? I wonder how he pays for his Total Fark account.
 
2011-05-13 01:38:00 PM  

Mr. Potatoass:


......
.*..*.
..^..
./..\.

Pixels
mumflmumf

 
2011-05-13 01:39:04 PM  

AnubisMan: Rickard and his stepson were at the dinner table together when the father grew angry over his stepson's refusal to eat his vegetables and over his computer usage. The stepson, who has lived with Rickard for 23 years,

23 year old still living at home and still being told to eat his vegetables? I wonder how he pays for his Total Fark account.


He's a liter.
 
2011-05-13 01:40:01 PM  
Its funny until you need your shed moved
 
2011-05-13 01:40:43 PM  
The 1990's were a boom time for shed movers. Everyone, it seemed had a shed and wanted it moved. Most of them chose a reputable shed mover through the local offices of ASPSM (American Society of Professional Shed Movers) but some unlucky people just tried to do it themselves or, worse, they hired an unlicensed shed mover.

The unlicensed shed mover is usually a unreliable sort. They may lack the tools and or talent to move a shed. Sometimes, when I get called to a scene, I can tell the customer tried an unlicensed mover. The shed is off the bricks. Maybe it got moved a few feet. There's usually tens of dollar damage. Makes me sad.

I remember I got a call from a rich guy on the coast. He had a double wide trailer on three lots. I mean that guy was living. He said he wanted to move a trailer to lot three from lot one. He tells me he's really concerned about the cost. I usually take that to mean he wants it cheap.

I tell him straight up. You got an aluminum shed with 3/4 inch reinforcements. You can't just drag it around the double wide. You have to reinforce both the lateral and horizontal or you'll have a crumpled mess. And it has to be empty. I've never moved a shed with even a rake in it. You want your interiors scratched? I sure don't.

I'm telling moneybags this and I see the light go out in his eyes. I know he's going to dump my for a cheaper guy. I tells him "Good luck. But whoever moves this better be rated three stars or better by the ASPSM."

A couple of weeks later, I'm in the trailer court moving a wooden mansard roof shed and I see the guy. He doesn't look too happy. I asked him if he ever moved that shed and he begins to cry.

Seems he went with an unlicensed goon. The cretin tried to tow the shed with a cargo strap and a pickup. The shed completely crumbled before it even got to the alley. Of course the goon took off and refused to pay for any of the damages he caused. The rich guy had to buy a new shed and clean up the mess. A real horror story.

So, I showed that guy how I would have done it with the wooden mansard. Of course there were differences but he got the just of it. He apologized and swore that he would never use another unlicensed shed mover again.

---From "Shed No Tears for Me. I'm a Professional Shed Mover" by Richard "Dick" Dick Rickard - National Shed Press, 2002
 
2011-05-13 01:42:30 PM  
With as much as fruits and veggies cost these days, I'd be pissed too.
 
2011-05-13 01:42:56 PM  
Big deal, my dad and I would fight on occasion, pushing, shoving, the occasional punch. Generally over petty things. Yet we both at least realise we would never try to kill each other and that calling the police would just make the situation worse for everyone. When you're both to blame at least be smart enough to know you will eventually cool down and that lawyers and court fees will only aggravate a situation.
 
2011-05-13 01:44:46 PM  

thrgd456: Its funny until you need your shed moved


I know shed moving might be a niche occupation, but i'm hoping there's more than one shed mover in this world for my shed moving needs, should they arise.

\currently shedless
\\but looking for fork re-drawers
\\\eip
 
2011-05-13 01:46:19 PM  
There are shed movers and there are shed shakers
 
2011-05-13 01:46:27 PM  
.ekil kool dlouw revom dehs lanoisseforp a denigami I tahw ylesicerp saw erutcip s'drakciR .rM

/translated to Floridian
 
2011-05-13 01:49:53 PM  
What's his fark handle?

/like we really give a shed
 
2011-05-13 01:50:29 PM  
Harry Freakstorm

Kudos!

+1
 
2011-05-13 01:53:27 PM  
Read that headline with his voice for extra lulz

swiscooking.webs.com
 
2011-05-13 02:01:34 PM  

Bartleby the Scrivener: Harry Freakstorm

Kudos!

+1


indeed, good stuff Freakstorm!
 
2011-05-13 02:04:29 PM  
I'm not the shed mover
nor the shed mover's son
but I'll keep movin' sheds
until the shed movin's done.

/no one ever wants to talk about my music, it's always about the sheds
 
2011-05-13 02:09:54 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: The 1990's were a boom time for shed movers. Everyone, it seemed had a shed and wanted it moved. Most of them chose a reputable shed mover through the local offices of ASPSM (American Society of Professional Shed Movers) but some unlucky people just tried to do it themselves or, worse, they hired an unlicensed shed mover.

The unlicensed shed mover is usually a unreliable sort. They may lack the tools and or talent to move a shed. Sometimes, when I get called to a scene, I can tell the customer tried an unlicensed mover. The shed is off the bricks. Maybe it got moved a few feet. There's usually tens of dollar damage. Makes me sad.

I remember I got a call from a rich guy on the coast. He had a double wide trailer on three lots. I mean that guy was living. He said he wanted to move a trailer to lot three from lot one. He tells me he's really concerned about the cost. I usually take that to mean he wants it cheap.

I tell him straight up. You got an aluminum shed with 3/4 inch reinforcements. You can't just drag it around the double wide. You have to reinforce both the lateral and horizontal or you'll have a crumpled mess. And it has to be empty. I've never moved a shed with even a rake in it. You want your interiors scratched? I sure don't.

I'm telling moneybags this and I see the light go out in his eyes. I know he's going to dump my for a cheaper guy. I tells him "Good luck. But whoever moves this better be rated three stars or better by the ASPSM."

A couple of weeks later, I'm in the trailer court moving a wooden mansard roof shed and I see the guy. He doesn't look too happy. I asked him if he ever moved that shed and he begins to cry.

Seems he went with an unlicensed goon. The cretin tried to tow the shed with a cargo strap and a pickup. The shed completely crumbled before it even got to the alley. Of course the goon took off and refused to pay for any of the damages he caused. The rich guy had to buy a new shed and clean up the mess. A real horror story.

So, I showed that guy how I would have done it with the wooden mansard. Of course there were differences but he got the just of it. He apologized and swore that he would never use another unlicensed shed mover again.

---From "Shed No Tears for Me. I'm a Professional Shed Mover" by Richard "Dick" Dick Rickard - National Shed Press, 2002


Nice, when Hollwood calls wanting the movie rights, don't jump on the first offer.
 
2011-05-13 02:10:36 PM  

PrivateCaboose: AnubisMan: Rickard and his stepson were at the dinner table together when the father grew angry over his stepson's refusal to eat his vegetables and over his computer usage. The stepson, who has lived with Rickard for 23 years,

23 year old still living at home and still being told to eat his vegetables? I wonder how he pays for his Total Fark account.

He's a liter.


o, I think not...

\ single slashy
 
2011-05-13 02:18:22 PM  
man how old is the step-son? has LIVED there for 23 years implies an age older than 23...
 
2011-05-13 02:27:59 PM  
Doesn't anyone RTFA? Guys age is 48.
 
2011-05-13 02:29:26 PM  
i2.photobucket.com
 
2011-05-13 02:32:06 PM  
media.naplesnews.com

xfinitytv.comcast.net
 
2011-05-13 02:33:36 PM  
He was bruised in the Naples ? Ouch.
 
2011-05-13 02:34:10 PM  

Cryptic Farker: Doesn't anyone RTFA? Guys age is 48.


The son. Not the shed mover.
 
2011-05-13 03:11:56 PM  
28.media.tumblr.com

Trailer Park Shed Mover??
 
2011-05-13 03:13:37 PM  
i179.photobucket.com

If I ever get booked like that, I'm not JUST gonna make up a silly alias like "Tater Salad".

I'm gonna come up with a great answer to "what's your occupation, Tater?". "Nerf Herder" is pretty decent answer.

When asked what a "nerf" is, just plead the Fifth. But be sure you spell it so it gets entered correctly.
 
2011-05-13 03:23:42 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: -From "Shed No Tears for Me. I'm a Professional Shed Mover" by Richard "Dick" Dick Rickard - National Shed Press, 2002


LMAO!

Well done.
 
2011-05-13 04:11:23 PM  
Weird. I wonder what it is about the local economy that makes this an actual profession...

Way before I was born, back in the first half of the 20th century, people made a living as house movers here in Milwaukee. It was common in the old neighborhoods to build a small single story cottage on an empty lot, save up for a few years, move the little house into the back yard and build a bigger house or a duplex in front.

Or sometimes in the old Polish neighborhoods on the South Side they would lift the cottage up and build a lower floor underneath, turning it into a 2-story "Polish Flat".
 
2011-05-13 04:13:05 PM  

Kid Lester: "I like to play wiffle ball with my friend, Billy. I'm Ken Griffey Jr.!"

"Jesus Christ, Donny! You're 23 years old! That kid's 8!"


Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson, AND a good Upright Citizens Brigade reference...

..can somebody come up with a Kids in the Hall ref?
 
2011-05-13 04:36:14 PM  

Headso: Bartleby the Scrivener: Harry Freakstorm

Kudos!

+1

indeed, good stuff Freakstorm!


egggggggsellent!
 
2011-05-13 04:57:52 PM  
Harry Freakstorm: -From "Shed No Tears for Me. I'm a Professional Shed Mover" by Richard "Dick" Dick Rickard - National Shed Press, 2002

very inspirational. Would recommend.
 
2011-05-13 05:23:37 PM  
Mr. Potatoass

LOL
 
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