philosopher-king Jesse "The Mind" Ventura told reporters. "I've spent the last fifteen years in a heated philosophical debate about epistemics, and then all of the sudden Gallup comes along and says, "Average household consumption of peanut butter is up, people prefer red to blue, and...by the way, CORRELATION IS CAUSATION.Do you know what this means? This means that good looks actually make you smarter! This means that Katie Couric makes the sun come up in the morning! This means that Bill Gates was right and the Y2K bug is Gregory's fault." Ventura was referring to Pope Gregory XIII, the 16th century pontiff who introduced he "Gregorian Calendar" we use today, and who we now know is to blame for the year 2000.
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