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(News.com.au)   Spanish court surprises everyone by imposing sentences of 439 years each to Somali pirates. Apparently no one expected quite a Spanish imposition   (news.com.au ) divider line
    More: Cool, Cortes Generales, Somali pirates, Somali, Spanish, ransoms  
•       •       •

4140 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2011 at 6:52 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-05-04 03:05:31 AM  
No one expects the spanish imposition!
 
2011-05-04 03:37:05 AM  
Call the next Deaf End Ant.
 
2011-05-04 06:38:13 AM  
t3.gstatic.com
 
2011-05-04 06:57:24 AM  
Shocking.

No, really. It is.
 
2011-05-04 06:59:47 AM  
Should just take them out to the middle of the ocean, throw them in and leave.
 
2011-05-04 07:10:13 AM  
They do, however, expect funny but bad puns on Fark, subquisitor.
 
2011-05-04 07:15:14 AM  

abhorrent1: Should just take them out to the middle of the ocean, throw them in and leave.


You're supposed to hang pirates. I don't see why they don't.
 
2011-05-04 07:17:23 AM  
i28.photobucket.com
 
2011-05-04 07:18:56 AM  
YARRRRR!
439 years in the brig.
 
2011-05-04 07:21:16 AM  
blogallalong.com

/hot like the caribbean
 
2011-05-04 07:21:59 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: YARRRRR!
439 years in the brig.


Make 'em walk da plank, I says
 
2011-05-04 07:27:01 AM  

doglover: abhorrent1: Should just take them out to the middle of the ocean, throw them in and leave.

You're supposed to hang pirates. I don't see why they don't.


The Spanish Navy has a perfectly good sailing ship in the Juan Sebastián Elcano so they could have done it right and hung them from a yardarm.
 
2011-05-04 07:28:06 AM  
forum.corsair.com

Not impressed.
 
2011-05-04 07:34:43 AM  
They probably think they won a grandprize on a gameshow. I can't imagine their lawyers trying to explain the horror of 3 square meals a day, shelter from heat and weather, freedom from warlords. Once the Spanish teach them how to write, they'll probably spend all their free time penning letters gloating to their friends and family.
 
2011-05-04 07:38:04 AM  

abhorrent1: Should just take them out to the middle of the ocean, throw them in and leave.


I like your idea much better. Just release them in shark infested water, and also toss some chum out there as well, that way the sharks can have a little snack...
 
2011-05-04 07:44:11 AM  
Wouldn't a worse punishment have been to return them to Somalia?
 
2011-05-04 07:48:26 AM  

Tickle Mittens: They probably think they won a grandprize on a gameshow. I can't imagine their lawyers trying to explain the horror of 3 square meals a day, shelter from heat and weather, freedom from warlords. Once the Spanish teach them how to write, they'll probably spend all their free time penning letters gloating to their friends and family.


You made me spit out coffee!
 
2011-05-04 08:00:19 AM  
It took them long enough. I guessed with all the money being lost that the international death penalty for pirates would come back first. Just wait until the pirates start hurting some sovereign wealth in a major way.
 
2011-05-04 08:06:13 AM  
Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!

orangecow.org
 
2011-05-04 08:08:39 AM  

The Mind Boggles: abhorrent1: Should just take them out to the middle of the ocean, throw them in and leave.

I like your idea much better. Just release them in shark infested water, and also toss some chum out there as well, that way the sharks can have a little snack...


I think we they should just bind their feet and hands with about 50 pounds of chains, then throw them overboard. I wonder what would kill them first, the pressure, or drowning?
 
2011-05-04 08:11:47 AM  
Did they really do it though? I probably would have found them Not Esther Williams.
 
2011-05-04 08:16:37 AM  

karnal: Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!


While they are all saying "Comfy Chair", here is question one of our special Sound Quiz. Question one. What famous person is this getting up in the morning?

(An alarm clock ring, someone gets out of bed, they walk around, go to the toilet, flush the toilet, brush their teeth, walk across carpet, pick up electric razor, shave, open & close front door)
 
2011-05-04 08:17:04 AM  
I think we they should just bind their feet and hands with about 50 pounds of chains, then throw them overboard. I wonder what would kill them first, the pressure, or drowning?

Give them a 15 minutes air supply-
Play Going down and Pressure in the background
 
2011-05-04 08:21:55 AM  

Seasons I'v Withered: I think we they should just bind their feet and hands with about 50 pounds of chains, then throw them overboard. I wonder what would kill them first, the pressure, or drowning?

Give them a 15 minutes air supply-
Play Going down and Pressure in the background


There was that Myth Busting show where Buster was put in an old school diving suit; got liquefied when they dumped the pressure from 125 lb/sq in. @ 300' underwater. Whole body went right into the helmet.
 
2011-05-04 08:22:48 AM  

BigBooper: The Mind Boggles: abhorrent1: Should just take them out to the middle of the ocean, throw them in and leave.

I like your idea much better. Just release them in shark infested water, and also toss some chum out there as well, that way the sharks can have a little snack...

I think we they should just bind their feet and hands with about 50 pounds of chains, then throw them overboard. I wonder what would kill them first, the pressure, or drowning?


Clearly, the view here on Fark is a hostile one.

Hostile.

HOSTILE
 
2011-05-04 08:23:25 AM  
I was expecting a verdict of Not Gill Cup.
 
2011-05-04 08:29:03 AM  
You know, like in a European prison is probably better than the life they had in Somalia.
 
2011-05-04 08:29:12 AM  
Farkshower1972
While they are all saying "Comfy Chair", here is question one of our special Sound Quiz. Question one. What famous person is this getting up in the morning?

(An alarm clock ring, someone gets out of bed, they walk around, go to the toilet, flush the toilet, brush their teeth, walk across carpet, pick up electric razor, shave, open & close front door)


An Italian Film director?
 
2011-05-04 08:29:43 AM  
I say we kill him!

I say we hang him, *then* we kill him!

I say we stomp him! Then we tattoo him! Then we hang him...! And then we kill him!
 
2011-05-04 08:30:34 AM  

eatin' fetus: Seasons I'v Withered: I think we they should just bind their feet and hands with about 50 pounds of chains, then throw them overboard. I wonder what would kill them first, the pressure, or drowning?

Give them a 15 minutes air supply-
Play Going down and Pressure in the background

There was that Myth Busting show where Buster was put in an old school diving suit; got liquefied when they dumped the pressure from 125 lb/sq in. @ 300' underwater. Whole body went right into the helmet.


Here you go (new window)
 
2011-05-04 08:32:34 AM  
What Somali Pirates may look like
www.beardface.com

OH BOYZ WE'RE HERE TO PLUNDER(with lisp)
 
2011-05-04 08:33:53 AM  
This sounds like racial profiling to me. Would a white pirate get the same sentence? I think not.
 
2011-05-04 08:34:13 AM  
oh crud..wrong link
This is it (new window)
 
2011-05-04 08:37:35 AM  
The way things are these days they're probably eligible for parole in six months.
 
2011-05-04 08:49:21 AM  
One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.
 
2011-05-04 08:55:33 AM  

karnal: An Italian Film director?


It was the film director Visconti. 5 points. An Italian film director is not sufficient.
 
2011-05-04 08:59:09 AM  

Tickle Mittens: They probably think they won a grandprize on a gameshow. I can't imagine their lawyers trying to explain the horror of 3 square meals a day, shelter from heat and weather, freedom from warlords. Once the Spanish teach them how to write, they'll probably spend all their free time penning letters gloating to their friends and family.



I'm sure that will be a comfortable balance against prison rape and shankings.
 
2011-05-04 09:30:21 AM  
Our chief weapon is surprise!...and fear. Our two weapons are surprise and fear!...and ruthless efficiency. Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as surprise, fear, and ruthless efficieny!...And an almost fanatical devotion to the pope... Ah, I'll come in again...
 
2011-05-04 09:34:30 AM  

Steve McQueen's Motorcycle: I say we kill him!

I say we hang him, *then* we kill him!

I say we stomp him! Then we tattoo him! Then we hang him...! And then we kill him!


I say we let him go!
 
2011-05-04 09:39:26 AM  
If I'm a Somali pirate and I just got this sentence, I'm very happy. 3 squares a day, roof over my head, running water. Never have to go back to The Mog.
 
2011-05-04 09:39:31 AM  
I say bind them to a chair, tape their eyes open, and make them watch reruns of "Two and a Half Men" until they swallow their own tongues. You can't go soft on people like this!
 
2011-05-04 10:09:53 AM  
This is largely a self-made problem for the nations suffering from piracy. A Fark thread yesterday had an article relating to this, which stated that no vessel with armed security -no vessel- has been pirated. Many vessels are unarmed because the flag country (the nation under which the ship is registered) refuses to allow arms aboard.

Problem is clear; so is solution.
 
2011-05-04 10:24:33 AM  

PhiloeBedoe: Call the next Deaf End Ant.


I was sure they'd find them not gill-cup.

/Dinsdale.
 
2011-05-04 10:27:37 AM  

rico567: This is largely a self-made problem for the nations suffering from piracy. A Fark thread yesterday had an article relating to this, which stated that no vessel with armed security -no vessel- has been pirated. Many vessels are unarmed because the flag country (the nation under which the ship is registered) refuses to allow arms aboard.

Problem is clear; so is solution.


And the solution is an arms race?

So far most ships have been taken by pirates aremed with little more than slingshots.
No matter what weapons we give the ships, the pirates *will* attack with more powerful weapons, and then having your ship captured will become a very bloody business.
 
2011-05-04 10:31:25 AM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: If I'm a Somali pirate and I just got this sentence, I'm very happy. 3 squares a day, roof over my head, running water. Never have to go back to The Mog.


exactly, this is an improvement in life - probably safer and better fed.
 
2011-05-04 10:31:45 AM  

pueblonative: Tickle Mittens: They probably think they won a grandprize on a gameshow. I can't imagine their lawyers trying to explain the horror of 3 square meals a day, shelter from heat and weather, freedom from warlords. Once the Spanish teach them how to write, they'll probably spend all their free time penning letters gloating to their friends and family.


I'm sure that will be a comfortable balance against prison rape and shankings.


Hey man, those Somali warlords weren't forcing people to come up with adorable Business Cat captions....
i.imgur.com
 
2011-05-04 10:35:16 AM  

Fabric_Man: BigBooper: The Mind Boggles: abhorrent1: Should just take them out to the middle of the ocean, throw them in and leave.

I like your idea much better. Just release them in shark infested water, and also toss some chum out there as well, that way the sharks can have a little snack...

I think we they should just bind their feet and hands with about 50 pounds of chains, then throw them overboard. I wonder what would kill them first, the pressure, or drowning?

Clearly, the view here on Fark is a hostile one.

Hostile.

HOSTILE


my other thought is to use a potato peeler and peel their flesh off before they toss them to the sharks that way they can chum the water themselves.
/do like BigBopper's option as well
 
2011-05-04 10:44:51 AM  
 
2011-05-04 11:10:03 AM  
439 years in jail each

So that explains why, in old movies and such, you'd see skeletons chained to the walls of dank, dark dungeons. They were still serving their sentences!

Then again, living in a Spanish prison might just be a step up for Somalis.
 
2011-05-04 11:11:31 AM  
i26.photobucket.com
does not approve
 
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