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Thoughts on where we're at in the Osama bin Laden coverage media cycle, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/24 - 4/30
Posted by Drew at 2011-05-03 3:49:04 PM, edited 2011-05-03 4:45:19 PM (38 comments) | Permalink
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Just think: If SEAL Team Six had killed Bin Laden early Friday morning, we might have escaped all that Royal Wedding coverage...
News coverage of Bin Laden's death has blown pretty much every other story off the main page of news websites everywhere. Which is great, but even this is going to get old in a day or two. Still, a number of potential hooks to the story remain. Here's a few of them in no particular order.
- Were the Pakistanis complicit or incompetent? Pakistan issued a formal statement saying that the death of Bin Laden shows the resolve of Pakistan to battle terrorism. Perfect answer, classic Ignore The Question 101.
- Bin Laden "resisted". Those of us who know what this means are winking at each other. For everyone else, best if they not know.
- News folks seem to mix up the words "Obama" and "Osama" a lot. Yesterday morning I heard the NPR lady do it, which would have been confusing as hell to anyone who tuned in just when she said "Obama was killed". I'm sure they would have eventually figured it out. I did it myself in the bar last night. Alcohol was a factor.
It's too bad they buried bin Laden at sea, I would have loved to see if the Westboro Baptist Church would have protested that funeral. Note that an actual squad was sent into the compound, not huge bombs, drones, or robots. The reason why? We needed a body. Otherwise people would continue to insist for years that Bin Laden was actually born in Kenya. But if you think about it, there was one other really good reason to send a squad in rather than nuke the compound from orbit...
The best part: we got Bin Laden's hard drive. Hilarity is sure to ensue. Also, my favorite Fark Headline of the media frenzy so far: "Final bin Laden message likely to surface soon. May include 'Is that someone is at the door?'"
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-04-24 to Sat 2011-04-30:
Teen tries to feed shark, succeeds
Inventor of the teleprompter dies. President Obama said to be at a "loss for words"
News of the typewriter's death have been greatly exaggera ed
As China ages, the youth in Asia will face difficult decisions
Niger, pleas for help
Former Miss Russia, living in NYC, previously arrested for forging prescriptions, now busted for shoplifting. Cops say she still hasn't gotten her Berings Strait
Doctors to use magnets to battle ovarian cancer. Will work great on women who aren't bipolar
Doctors reassure men everywhere that Short Penis Syndrome is mostly in your head. Your below-average, unimpressive, laughably small head
Witnesses in Florida report seeing a UFO the size of a football field. They didn't notice an end zone on it, suggesting the UFO is from Michigan
Gabby Giffords needs a Shuttle launch postponement like she needs a hole in the head
Three people injured at car wash in PG County. Thank goodness this didn't happen in NC-17 County
Ron Artest wins NBA citizenship award for promoting community service, mental health awareness, not dating a Kardashian
2014 Special Olympics to be held in New Jersey. Somehow, we're not surprised
Cubs to offer discounted beer and hot dogs in hopes that fans will be too drunk to notice they're watching the Cubs
"We've created 18 atoms of anti-helium" say giggling scientists with super deep voices
1,716 Sony PlayStation 3s have been combined to create the only supercomputer that can't get online
Full 3-D invisibility cloak in visible light will soon be revealed, according to empty podium with microphone
A&E and Steven Seagal finally end squint-off
AMC theaters to screen all three extended editions of "Lord of the Rings" movies in June. Or you could save some time and just walk to Mordor yourself
Kristen Stewart says the birth scene from the upcoming Twilight film was less disturbing than portrayed in the book, which is kind of surprising considering the heart of the story is a young girl's decision between bestiality and necrophilia
Supremes: "You can't hurry law, no, you'll just have to wait"
Former Maryland Governor to lie in state today. Current Maryland Governor to lie in state every day
Lesbian cadet licked by West Point as her efforts to gain readmission are boxed out, snatching away her dreams and sweeping her ambitions under the carpet
Woman succumbs to the sweet release of death at a Lady Gaga concert, but an unsympathetic EMT brings her back to life
Britney Spears bans cookie dough ice cream from world tour. Says that something white with a little bit of black and just sitting there reminds her too much of K-Fed
Aretha Franklin to write C-O-O-K-B-O-O-K
That's a good e-commerce business model... FOR ME TO GROUPON
Writer for SyFy movies starts own ice cream business. Flavors to include "Meh", "That was all right", and "Could've been better with a larger budget"
Weak second half forecast sends Brunswick's stock into the gutter. There's even talk of a 7-10 stock split. This could be it for them. Well, AMF
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