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(Chicago Breaking News)   Fark curing cancer, let's shoot fish with squirt guns   (chicagobreakingnews.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, Asian carps, Asians, fish, cancers, Lake Michigan  
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6735 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2011 at 7:50 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-04-28 06:49:10 PM  
Fark curing cancer Here's where my brain went: For a brief VERY naive moment I thought, "Wow, all this, 'still no cure for cancer' stuff got a around and some scientist somewhere is ACTUALLY going to do something because of these Fark headlines? Can it BE?" let's shoot fish with squirt guns *clicks link* Ohhhhh, silly me.

a tad too optimistic!
 
2011-04-28 07:10:12 PM  
Are they going to call it the Cartman Gun?
/Asian carp are a huge probrem
 
2011-04-28 07:52:17 PM  
Scientists to test water 'gun' in Asian carp fight

Never bring a water gun to a crap fight.
 
2011-04-28 07:56:50 PM  
Because every scientist is also an oncologist or in the least a qualified histologist. . .
 
2011-04-28 07:56:59 PM  
Problem with Asian carp is that they can't swim for shiat, and if you eat one you are hungry again an hour later
 
2011-04-28 08:02:34 PM  
Why do we keep importing all that Asian crap?
 
2011-04-28 08:03:23 PM  
It's no shrimp on a treadmill.

/ just sayin
 
2011-04-28 08:05:45 PM  
We don't seem to have no shortage of people; we DO have a shortage of fish-squirt-guns.
 
2011-04-28 08:09:47 PM  
Vertically Challenged:

Fark curing cancer Here's where my brain went: For a brief VERY naive moment I thought, "Wow, all this, 'still no cure for cancer' stuff got a around and some scientist somewhere is ACTUALLY going to do something because of these Fark headlines? Can it BE?" let's shoot fish with squirt guns *clicks link* Ohhhhh, silly me.

a tad too optimistic!


I have a brother-in-law who used to work at the NIH actually working on cancer treatments. You'd be surprised at some of the things he had his grad students work on, such as tiny scuba outfits for mice so they wouldn't drown when they sonicated their tumors.

What blew my mind was the fact that they had a tiny mouse MRI machine.
 
2011-04-28 08:09:55 PM  

Vertically Challenged: Fark curing cancer Here's where my brain went: For a brief VERY naive moment I thought, "Wow, all this, 'still no cure for cancer' stuff got a around and some scientist somewhere is ACTUALLY going to do something because of these Fark headlines? Can it BE?" let's shoot fish with squirt guns *clicks link* Ohhhhh, silly me.

a tad too optimistic!


For a split second, that's what I thought too.

DUH!
 
2011-04-28 08:13:33 PM  

weapon13: Vertically Challenged: Fark curing cancer Here's where my brain went: For a brief VERY naive moment I thought, "Wow, all this, 'still no cure for cancer' stuff got a around and some scientist somewhere is ACTUALLY going to do something because of these Fark headlines? Can it BE?" let's shoot fish with squirt guns *clicks link* Ohhhhh, silly me.

a tad too optimistic!

For a split second, that's what I thought too.

DUH!


And here I thought some farker got out of the basement and found a cure for cancer while shooting fish with a water gun.

Oh how naive.
 
2011-04-28 08:13:39 PM  
While I am thrilled that Fark has cured cancer, shooting fish with squirt guns seems like a ridiculous way to celebrate.

/variation on Vertically Challenged but the celebration aspect is key to the humour imho
 
2011-04-28 08:19:44 PM  
It's not so much a water gun as a pressure/sound gun, to be fair.
 
2011-04-28 08:20:02 PM  
 
2011-04-28 08:39:53 PM  
Asian carp... Those the big axed silvery fish that go batshait at the slightest disturbance and jump into peoples' boats?
 
2011-04-28 09:06:32 PM  
Science critics are a bunch of pussies. Man up biatches, we're doing to die of something. We might as well try to gain some small measure of understanding of the world around us before we do.
 
2011-04-28 09:08:38 PM  

craxyd: Asian carp... Those the big axed silvery fish that go batshait at the slightest disturbance and jump into peoples' boats?


No limit, no license required and you can sell it to China. Their rivers are so polluted that carp from the Mississippi are pristine in comparison.
 
2011-04-28 09:31:20 PM  
There might be a cheaper way to do this.

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2011-04-28 09:46:44 PM  
What a carppy article.
/got nothin
 
2011-04-28 10:06:42 PM  
They started it.

underwateruniversity.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-04-28 10:22:43 PM  

sip111: Because every scientist is also an oncologist or in the least a qualified histologist. . .


i am a herpetologist, does that count? i guess i could look into snake cancer. not only is it cancer but it's venomous. yea, you don't want to get snake cancer, and who is stopping the snake cancer? me, now about my money.
 
2011-04-28 10:29:12 PM  
We cured cancer?

In your FACE, Reddit!!

[reads article]

Not cool, Subtard. Not cool.
 
2011-04-28 10:29:47 PM  
This actually one of the most intelligent short-term solutions to this problem I've heard, and it would work anywhere with similar trouble. Genius.
 
2011-04-28 10:46:47 PM  

thesubliminalman: There might be a cheaper way to do this.


The badger 5 is a very reliable and reasonably priced disposer.
 
2011-04-28 11:01:38 PM  

pete1729: thesubliminalman: There might be a cheaper way to do this.

The badger 5 is a very reliable and reasonably priced disposer.


Chum up the water and once it settles to the bottom, the crawdads will have a near unlimited food source and grow to the size of lobsters? Try to imagine the gumbo pot needed for that.
 
2011-04-28 11:09:05 PM  
I don't know how 'up' you are on technology, subby, but custom wheel rims are solid aluminum blocks carved with "water guns". If they want to kill an invasive species with a completely non-toxic approach like this, I'm all for it.
 
2011-04-28 11:19:35 PM  
Still no cure for cancer, submitting links to fark instead.
 
2011-04-28 11:22:04 PM  
And meanwhile, Illinois schools are owed hundreds of millions of dollars. But, no. Let's spend money fighting off the Asian carp.
 
2011-04-28 11:28:16 PM  
Well, obviously the solution is to introduce another invasive species that likes to eat the carp. It should be one that we like to eat, so that when they get the carp population under control we can control their numbers by devouring them.

On a side note, if anyone is actually buying the Japonicus crab legs that are showing up in supermarkets these days, then Zebra Mussels should have been already wiped out by overfishing.
 
2011-04-29 12:28:48 AM  

thesubliminalman: There might be a cheaper way to do this.


www.yumgames.com
 
2011-04-29 01:14:47 AM  

JohnAnnArbor: They started it.


I used to have one of those in my aquarium. I had a branch rigged over the tank, on which I'd perch various bugs. That little mofo of a fish never, ever missed.
 
2011-04-29 01:30:41 AM  

buckler: JohnAnnArbor: They started it.

I used to have one of those in my aquarium. I had a branch rigged over the tank, on which I'd perch various bugs. That little mofo of a fish never, ever missed.


I wanted to be you when I was a kid.
 
2011-04-29 02:04:42 AM  

ironrat: buckler: JohnAnnArbor: They started it.

I used to have one of those in my aquarium. I had a branch rigged over the tank, on which I'd perch various bugs. That little mofo of a fish never, ever missed.

I wanted to be you when I was a kid.


Rest comfortably in the knowledge you weren't.
 
2011-04-29 02:17:58 AM  
nick.co.uk

Pirahana gun, OH YEAH!
 
2011-04-29 03:22:33 AM  

My Bologna Has A Maiden Name: Well, obviously the solution is to introduce another invasive species that likes to eat the carp. It should be one that we like to eat, so that when they get the carp population under control we can control their numbers by devouring them.

On a side note, if anyone is actually buying the Japonicus crab legs that are showing up in supermarkets these days, then Zebra Mussels should have been already wiped out by overfishing.


True! They could be teaching the kids about what wildlife used to be like! Poor kids.
 
2011-04-29 05:29:34 AM  

Baz the Spaz: And meanwhile, Illinois schools are owed hundreds of millions of dollars. But, no. Let's spend money fighting off the Asian carp.


Your reply smacks of, "Hey! I'm that teacher who doesn't actually know anything and is teaching your children!" I expect 4 full pages on the impact potential of the Asian carp on Lake Michigan by noon Monday. No, I'm not kidding.
 
2011-04-29 09:19:05 AM  
Subby obviously has been living under a rock and doesn't know how Asian carp have been destroying valuable freshwater fisheries and putting people out of work. They have to be kept out of Lake Michigan.
 
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