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(Cracked)   27 hit songs as understood by a five-year-old   (cracked.com ) divider line 111
    More: Amusing, hit single  
•       •       •

30311 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2011 at 12:27 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



111 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-04-27 10:21:41 AM  
A five-year old knows what a dance card is?
 
2011-04-27 10:40:42 AM  
What, are we supposed to guess the title from the pix? FTS.
 
2011-04-27 11:20:41 AM  
#1 made me laugh
 
2011-04-27 11:27:04 AM  

John Buck 41: What, are we supposed to guess the title from the pix? FTS.


That's kind of the fun.

/I'm a bee made me chuckle
 
2011-04-27 11:49:41 AM  
i-beta.crackedcdn.com

A little help?
 
2011-04-27 11:51:17 AM  
i-beta.crackedcdn.com

What exactly is this snake doing?
 
2011-04-27 12:05:51 PM  

jaylectricity: What exactly is this snake doing?


Everything you want.
 
2011-04-27 12:10:18 PM  

jaylectricity: A little help?


You can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my poker post?
 
2011-04-27 12:23:25 PM  
#8 "Doll Parts" by Hole?
 
2011-04-27 12:27:07 PM  
My oldest at one point started singing "Juice Box Hero" while riding in the car. At first I tried to explain, then I quickly let it go.

He's 6 pushing 7 and he still thinks that's what the song is. I'll hold onto that as long as I can.
 
2011-04-27 12:29:55 PM  
clicked for "I'm a Bee" cause the little kids I nannied thought that's what it meant.
 
2011-04-27 12:30:56 PM  

Demetrius: My oldest at one point started singing "Juice Box Hero" while riding in the car. At first I tried to explain, then I quickly let it go.

He's 6 pushing 7 and he still thinks that's what the song is. I'll hold onto that as long as I can.


Better than hearing your 7 year old singing "Wrapped up like a douche"...
 
2011-04-27 12:31:17 PM  
There's a WalMart near the Jungle? I'm so confused.
 
2011-04-27 12:31:56 PM  
Wow I really like cracked but that is the worst article I've seen on that site.
 
2011-04-27 12:32:27 PM  

Two Hearted: There's a WalMart near the Jungle? I'm so confused.


Welcome to the jungle. We got fun n games
 
2011-04-27 12:32:54 PM  
I feel a little dumber for seeing the first few. Usually cracked is a little funnier and a lot more subtle.
 
2011-04-27 12:32:59 PM  
"She's got electric boobs, your ma has two, you know I read it in a magazine!"

"Hey, there's a bathroom on the right."

"Woodchuck... Barracuda!"
 
2011-04-27 12:33:19 PM  
Relevant (new window), and classic.
 
2011-04-27 12:33:23 PM  

jaylectricity: A little help?


Poker Face

Not too far off from a tee shirt I actually own:

t-shirtguru.com
 
2011-04-27 12:33:29 PM  

jaylectricity: A little help?


Underskirt royal flush. Great tune.

John Buck 41: What, are we supposed to guess the title from the pix? FTS.


Yeah, too laborious.
 
2011-04-27 12:33:29 PM  
well, I feel extra stupid. I got a few of them, but the rest WTF?
 
2011-04-27 12:35:45 PM  
I really like Math Storm... or is that Math Is a Breeze?

/math is hard
 
2011-04-27 12:35:58 PM  

Just_a_Bear: well, I feel extra stupid. I got a few of them, but the rest WTF?


Yeah, I was pretty lost with most of them. I was hoping for a cheat sheet at the end at least.
 
2011-04-27 12:37:07 PM  
Why the hell was this not tagged "Walken"? Didn't subby make it to entry #1?
 
2011-04-27 12:37:22 PM  
27. Umbrella
26. No Scrubs
25. Last dance with Mary Jane
24. Blowin' in the Wind? (the answers, my friend, are blowing in the wind?)
23. Crank dat soulja boy
22. Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. This one is legit, it's how I visualized Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds when I was a kid, until I saw a thing on PBS about the discovery of Lucy the australopithecus
21. Freebird
20. Heard it on the Grapevine
19. S&M
18. ??
17. Pokerface
16. Gangsta's Paradise.
15. Get Low
14. ??
13. Wild Thing
12. Quit Playing Games With My Heart
11. Welcome to the Jungle
10. Stairway to Heaven
9. No idea but I'm certain it's Katy Perry-related
8. Brick House
7. Tik-tok
6. Another Brick in the Wall
5. The Walrus
4. fark You
3. Paparazzi
2. Monster Mash
1. Boots are made for Walken
 
2011-04-27 12:37:55 PM  
Uh... okay....? Not all that impressed. Maybe this is because I don't give a sh*t about pop music or culture, but that was kinda (ie, really) dumb...
 
2011-04-27 12:38:20 PM  

Charlie Chingas: Demetrius: My oldest at one point started singing "Juice Box Hero" while riding in the car. At first I tried to explain, then I quickly let it go.

He's 6 pushing 7 and he still thinks that's what the song is. I'll hold onto that as long as I can.

Better than hearing your 7 year old singing "Wrapped up like a douche"...


Hell, I still sing that. I know it's not what it is but it still sounds like it. I can't unhear that.
 
2011-04-27 12:38:20 PM  
My two nieces sang the Beetles' Ticket to Ride with the words "she's got a chicken to ride..." for the first time at Disney World while watching the Beetles cover band they have in Epcot. Friggin' hysterical.
 
2011-04-27 12:39:02 PM  

bobbette: 9. No idea but I'm certain it's Katy Perry-related


California Girls, so hot they'll melt your popsicle.
 
2011-04-27 12:43:55 PM  
We'll greenlight ANYTHING in list form!
 
2011-04-27 12:44:17 PM  

TNel: Wow I really like cracked but that is the worst article I've seen on that site.


^
 
2011-04-27 12:44:37 PM  

bobbette: 27. Umbrella
26. No Scrubs
25. Last dance with Mary Jane
24. Blowin' in the Wind? (the answers, my friend, are blowing in the wind?)
23. Crank dat soulja boy
22. Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. This one is legit, it's how I visualized Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds when I was a kid, until I saw a thing on PBS about the discovery of Lucy the australopithecus
21. Freebird
20. Heard it on the Grapevine
19. S&M
18. ??
17. Pokerface
16. Gangsta's Paradise.
15. Get Low
14. ??
13. Wild Thing
12. Quit Playing Games With My Heart
11. Welcome to the Jungle
10. Stairway to Heaven
9. No idea but I'm certain it's Katy Perry-related
8. Brick House
7. Tik-tok
6. Another Brick in the Wall
5. The Walrus
4. fark You
3. Paparazzi
2. Monster Mash
1. Boots are made for Walken


18 is a song called "I'ma be" and 14 is Total Eclipse of the Heart, I think except of course, that's not a total eclipse.
 
2011-04-27 12:45:05 PM  
27. Umbrella (Rihanna)
26. No Scrubs (TLC)
25. ????
24. ????
23. ????
22. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
21. ????
20. ????
19. S&M (Rihanna)
18. Imma Be (Black Eyed Peas)
17. Poker Face (Lady Gaga)
16. ????
15. Can't remember the name of the song
14. ????
13. ????
12. ????
11. Welcome to the Jungle (Guns N' Roses)
10. Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)
9. ????
8. ????
7. That horrible song by Ke$ha
6. The Wall (Pink Floyd)
5. The Walrus (I think) The Beetles
4. fark You (Cee Lo Green)
3. Paparazzi (Lady Gaga)
2. Monster Mash
1. ????

I'm an idiot apparently.
 
2011-04-27 12:45:36 PM  
"Bacon Carrot Buiscuits! EVERYDAY!"
 
2011-04-27 12:47:23 PM  
18 - I'm a Bee-Leaver?
 
2011-04-27 12:48:06 PM  

BeatrixK: "Bacon Carrot Buiscuits! EVERYDAY!"


My co-workers want to know why I'm laughing so hard.
 
2011-04-27 12:49:00 PM  

Demetrius: My oldest at one point started singing "Juice Box Hero" while riding in the car. At first I tried to explain, then I quickly let it go.

He's 6 pushing 7 and he still thinks that's what the song is. I'll hold onto that as long as I can.


He'll probably think those are the words for a very long time. Not only does that sort of thing stick with you because you never really listen to the words closely, but jukeboxes aren't exactly that common anymore.
 
2011-04-27 12:50:25 PM  
I wonder what the 5 year old would have come up with for Blinded by the Light?
 
2011-04-27 12:54:03 PM  

DubyaHater: 7. That horrible song by Ke$ha


Hey, I like that song - but I'm an old fart.
I also have the house record on Wii Just Dance II for that song. My kids can't come close to it.
 
2011-04-27 12:55:27 PM  
Not getting some of them. What I've got so far:

27) Rhianna - Umbrella
26) TLC - No Scrubs
25) Um ... Tom Petty - Mary Jane's Last Dance?
24) ???
23) ???
22) Beatles - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
21) Lynyrd Skynyrd - Freebird
20) Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through the Grapevine
19) ???
18) ???
17) Lady Gaga - Pokerface
16) Coolio - Gangster's Paradise
15) Lil John - Aww Skeet Skeet (had to look that one up)
14) ???
13) The Troggs - Wild Thing
12) Bon Jovi - You Give Love a Bad Name?
11) ???
10) Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
9) ???
8) ???
7) Ke$ha - Tik Tok
6) Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 2
5) Beatles - I Am The Walrus
4) Cee Lo Green - F*ck You
3) Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
2) ??? (OMD - Pandora's Box?)
1) ???
 
2011-04-27 12:56:57 PM  
I thought #14 was 'We Love the Moon, because it is very high'.

12 is Quit playing games with my heart.
 
2011-04-27 12:59:30 PM  

architectastic: My two nieces sang the Beetles' Ticket to Ride with the words "she's got a chicken to ride..." for the first time at Disney World while watching the Beetles cover band they have in Epcot. Friggin' hysterical.


Seriously, dude?
 
2011-04-27 01:01:06 PM  

Chariset: jaylectricity: A little help?

You can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my poker post?


Oh that is hair.

I thought those were curtains when I first looked at it.
 
2011-04-27 01:01:10 PM  

blackminded: BeatrixK: "Bacon Carrot Buiscuits! EVERYDAY!"

My co-workers want to know why I'm laughing so hard.


*snort* This is, seriousy, how my younger sister used to sing this. Granted, she was 5...but it always was f'awesome to hear her belt this out, and no WAY was I ever correcting her...her version was too full of WIN!
 
2011-04-27 01:04:07 PM  
There are people who haven't heard "These Boots are Made for Walking"? Woah.
 
2011-04-27 01:04:25 PM  

Demetrius: My oldest at one point started singing "Juice Box Hero" while riding in the car. At first I tried to explain, then I quickly let it go.


That's the name of the album by the Imagination Movers. Other album titles are "In a Big Warehouse" and "For Those About to Hop". (Yes, I have a 5 year old. Yes, I've seen them in concert, and as far as kids' music goes, they're alright.)
 
Ral
2011-04-27 01:06:34 PM  
#1 is "These boots were made for walkin'", for those who don't get it. That's actually pretty funny.
 
2011-04-27 01:10:19 PM  
It looks like 5 years olds drew most of them.
 
2011-04-27 01:14:44 PM  
Blast you work internet. Someone post all the images.

/NOW!
 
2011-04-27 01:15:20 PM  
Who's this Round John Virgin character, and what's he doing with the baby Jesus?
 
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