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(Some Guy)   The Flat Earth Society has proof that the earth isn't round (repeat)   ( divider line
    More: Silly  
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6361 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2001 at 2:23 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

61 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-10-22 02:34:09 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-22 02:34:58 PM  
Is this tongue in cheek? I know there really was/is a flat earth society, but i heard that now it's just a joke society. does anyone know for sure?
2001-10-22 02:36:14 PM  
judging by the disclaimer, I think it probably is a joke. If not, then lord black jesus help us.
2001-10-22 02:36:22 PM  
I don't know. It seems pretty serious for me.. which is incredibly disturbing
2001-10-22 02:36:52 PM  
Notice the scientist they quote. Grigory Efimovich. This was the Russian playboy Rasputin's real name.
2001-10-22 02:37:13 PM  
Well, we seem to have another genius here at fark going by the name of "Drew Farker"

....I've never been in space and see the Earth, so how do I really know its round...? All those space pictures could all be photoshopped! Err, I'd better stop typing before the black helicopters and the rest of the Illuminati come and get me.
2001-10-22 02:37:13 PM  
But the Earth ISN'T round. It's slighlty oval.

Guess they're right.
2001-10-22 02:38:26 PM  
obvious... this is crap
2001-10-22 02:40:02 PM  
I thought these guys were called the Taliban? My mistake. In my defence, you have to admit it's easy to get them confused.
2001-10-22 02:40:29 PM  
Yeah...the guy with the swords in Logan Airport is the President of the Flat Earth Society, and the vice president is Elvis
2001-10-22 02:45:54 PM  
and that light must propagate through no medium at all (impossible for a wave by the very definition of a wave)

I don't know why I am bothering, but I was curious about their 'scientific proof' (hey, I actually read the ark thing too) - can someone explain to these geniuses that light isn't defined as a wave?

Oh and the earth isn't 'round' or an 'oval' - it's not two, but three dimensional. Technically, the earth is a 'geoid' (guess where that name came from), this takes into account the uneveness of the surface. The best approximating proper geometric shape is an 'ellipsoid', which is your "3D oval" but it is of course commonly reffered to as a sphere (yes, it's spherical, not 'round'; and yes, I am a pedant)

there now, don't you feel all educamated and stuff?

(and why the hell are they referencing Rasputin, anyhow?)
2001-10-22 02:47:58 PM  
I always liked the flat earth thing... I don't belive it at all... but the non parody sites that talk about it... there basic idea is that "science is a religion" and I think to some degree thats true... I basicly belive everything the college science books... because it says its true... but yeah thats really all the proof I have... faith... that because someone did an experiment... that its true. alot of science is derived from pretty abstract reasoning... its probobly all right.... but mabey... there is some thing somewhere... we all just belive that will turn out to be wrong... we only discovered DNA in the last 50 years... what if it turns out to not have much to do with inheritance... and messing with it just is incidental? (not saying I belive that... but... its ingrained things like that are true... what if of the thousand things we belive like that... 1 is just plain wrong)
2001-10-22 02:50:04 PM  
The "Current Events" section of their web site is what tipped me off to it being a joke.

Some of that stuff is pretty funny.

I'll never look at a Pepsi Machine Repairman the same way!
2001-10-22 02:51:01 PM  
Gee..these folks must not have the NASA sad..
2001-10-22 02:51:04 PM  
they must not have been paying attention in physics
2001-10-22 02:51:32 PM  
I love this:

Now imagine, if only for the sake of argument, that the person on top and the person on bottom can both manage to remain attracted to the ground "below" them. What would happen if the person on one side decided to visit the other? Since the man at the North Pole has a different idea of what is down and up (and in fact experiences an opposite pull from the Earth's gravity) than the person at the South Pole does, when the denizen of the frozen Arctic visits his Antarctic counterpart, they will experience gravitational pulls exactly opposite of each other! The human from the North Pole will "fall up", never returning to the ground, and will continue falling forever into the deep void of outer space!

Blatantly disregarding logic, yet maintaining a persuasive tone. I'm thinking joke site/trap for the unwary.
2001-10-22 02:53:27 PM  
This site is obviously a joke. Look at the disclaimer at the bottom of the home page. Rogue hamster insurrection group?
2001-10-22 02:55:54 PM  
Ok I get it, here's a description of rituals of the sect of Khlystys to which Rasputin belonged:

"The purpose of these radenyi, or ceremonies, was to create a religious ecstasy, an erotic frenzy. After invocations and hymns, the faithful formed a ring and began to sway in rhythm, and then to whirl round and round, spinning faster and faster. As a state of dizziness was essential for the "divine influx," the master of ceremonies flogged any dancer whose vigor abated. The radenyi ended in a horrible orgy, everyone rolling on the ground in ecstasy, or in convulsions."

Now I see why they named the theory after him.
2001-10-22 02:56:56 PM  
Not to mention the "Join us" section where they need your
1) Favorite Color
2) Favorite Jellbeen Flavor
3) Favorite Mineral
4) favorite Eastern European Nation
5) Favorite Presidential Cabinet member
2001-10-22 03:00:48 PM  
I would like to announce the formation of the "Moon is Made of Cheese Society".
2001-10-22 03:01:46 PM  
ok it gets worse (in the "not as good a joke anymore kinda way") as you read further down:

Water. Regardless of which train of thought you follow, it covers over seventy-five percent of our planet's surface. And the atmosphere, also a fluid, covers the entire surface.

then they talk about water 'running down the sides of the earth' because, you know, the center of gravity is somewhere 'under' the earth

I am feeling kinda silly now
2001-10-22 03:06:38 PM  
"Outer space is filled with ether.."

So that's REALLY what screwed up Apollo 13..Lovell fell asleep at the wheel and hit a parked UFO!!
2001-10-22 03:07:55 PM  
also the funniest part is what the disclaimer at the bottom of the page says:

"The Flat Earth Society is not in any way responsible for the failure of the French to repel the Germans at the Maginot Line during WWII. Nor is the Flat Earth Society responsible for the recent yeti sightings outside the Vatican, or for the unfortunate enslavement of the Nabisco Inc. factory employees by a rogue hamster insurrectionist group. Furthermore, we are not responsible for the loss of one or more of the following, which may possibly occur as the result of exposing one's self to the dogmatic and dangerously subversive statements made within: life, limb, vision, Francois Mitterand, hearing, taste, smell, touch, thumb, Aunt Mildred, citizenship, spleen, bedrock, cloves, I Love Lucy reruns, toaster, pine derby racer, toy duck, antelope, horseradish, prosthetic ankle, double-cheeseburger, tin foil, limestone, watermelon-scented air freshner, sanity, paprika, German to Pig Latin dictionary, dish towel, pet Chihuahua, pogo stick, Golf Digest subscription, floor tile, upper torso or halibut. "
2001-10-22 03:12:22 PM  
This HAS to be a bit of farce written by some rather cynical, but intelligent people. No one is that incredibly ignorant.
2001-10-22 03:15:03 PM  
Space is filled with ether, eh? Sound like someone's been huffing it (even though it's a gag site).
2001-10-22 03:22:22 PM  
As we already knew, this isn't the official Flat-Earth website. In fact, I don't think the real organization has a website. But I did some research, and apparently it is a real organization still, and it still holds tightly to their beliefs in the flat earth theory. (Incidentally, their beliefs are based on comments from the Bible)

There is a copy of the REAL ORGANIZATION's flyer here:

And you can contact them here:

Charles K. Johnson, President
Marjory Waugh Johnson, Sec.
Telephone: (805) 727-1635
PO Box 2533, Lancaster, CA 93539
2001-10-22 03:30:09 PM  
Big deal. My ex-girlfriend was flat. You don't see me dedicating a web site to her do you?
2001-10-22 03:30:13 PM  
Ahhhhh, anachronistic science. One has to hold a rather fond opinion of the old "aether" theory. After all, without it we couldn't have steampunk literature.

The earth is egg-shaped. o.o Why doesn't the flat earth society mention the turtle? You know, how the elephant standing on the turtle standing on the snake holds up the earth? Or the bible? The biblical description of creation says that the earth is flat. It even says that there's a big ceiling in the sky and the rest of the ocean is on the other side of the ceiling and there's windows that open up and let that ocean out when it rains. Throw that in the face of the creationists next time they start spouting their antidiluvian nonsense. Ask them why they are picking and choosing when they believe that EVERYTHING in the Bible is fundamentally true. Then reference all the obscene parts of the bible from the previous post, especially the root of the word "testament". Man, I love being a progressive Catholic. Now if only the Pope would wise up...

Quick, Smithers! To the Ornithopter!!
2001-10-22 03:34:43 PM  
I thought this was the same site I found a year or so ago, but it's not, and not nearly as funny. This one:

is funnier, especially the FAQ:

My favorite lines:

20) Does Idaho exist
No. The existence of Idaho is a lie, fabricated by a conspiracy of cartographers, as is England (see question 10).

21) What about North Dakota?
That doesn't exist either.

22) Any other places which are believed to exist but really don't?

Yes, Australia. And then there are the cryptogeographica, places such as Kadath, Carcosa, Hobbiton, Narnia, Hy-Brasil, Hell and such whose existence has not been satisfactorily proven.
2001-10-22 03:36:06 PM  
Question: If you could drill a large hole completely through the earth (say from, Pittsburgh through to Hong Kong)and you jumped into it, what would happen?

Gravity would, of course, pull you down. But as you neared or even passed the center of the earth, then you would be going against the gravity from the other side.

Would momentum carry you out the other side, only to be pulled back down again towards the center? Or would you stop in the center? Or would you just fly back and forth in the hole until you ended up suspended at zero gravity in the center?

I've always wondered about this. And I'm not drunk!!
2001-10-22 03:40:33 PM  
Flat earth, never. We all know that the earth is really nature's harmonic simultaneous 4-day time cube.
2001-10-22 03:40:56 PM  
You'd find your car keys, Bigpeeler.
2001-10-22 03:41:41 PM  

assuming your hypothetical tunnel through the core of the earth could somehow withstand the heat, pressure, and radiation at the core, you would probably eventually end up "centered" (and melted) at the core.

Never mind the problem of causing the earth's atmosphere to drain down to the core and ignite.

In short, I think it would not be a very sound proposal to try to stick a giant straw through the planet.
2001-10-22 03:42:03 PM  
Peeler: You would fly back and forth. And eventually come to rest in the middle I believe. I don't really care to expand on why this is true. Just believe me. I'm right.
2001-10-22 03:42:13 PM  
"Your dog has joined us" Love it!
2001-10-22 03:47:02 PM  
Anyone care to calculate what the velocity of bigpeeler would be when he reached the middle.
2001-10-22 03:48:20 PM  
Disclaimer: The Flat Earth Society is not in any way responsible for the failure of the French to repel the Germans at the Maginot Line during WWII. Nor is the Flat Earth Society responsible for the recent yeti sightings outside the Vatican, or for the unfortunate enslavement of the Nabisco Inc. factory employees by a rogue hamster insurrectionist group...

This site is obviously a joke :)

2001-10-22 04:14:56 PM  
I'm probably wrong about this, but I'll try anyway...

Radius of the Earth: 6.37 * 10^6 meters
Bigpeeler's mass: 75 kg
Bigpeeler's potential energy at the Earth's surface: U=mgr=4.685*10^9 J

When he is at the center of the earth, all his potential energy will be kinetic (.5mv^2)

So, his velocity will be 11.1775 km/s (assuming that there is no air drag, of course)
2001-10-22 04:24:22 PM  
Bigpeeler: Gravitation attraction is based on mass and distance. Since you will be travelling through the Earth, distance is negligible as a factor. As you fall down, the mass of earth in 'front' of you would decrease, and the mass of earth 'behind' you would increase. Thus, the force attracting you further into the Earth and towards the other side would gradually get smaller.

When you reach the center, the mass of Earth in front and behond you would be equal (barring negligible differences) and there would be no further force pushing you towards the other side.

However, by Newton's First Law (an object in motion will continue to move that way with the same velocity), you will continue to travel towards the other side of the Earth, but gravity will now be a resistive force pulling you back. In ideal scenarios, the force will stop you JUST as you reach the end of the tunnel. You will then repeat your trip to the center and the other side (where you entered), and fall back and forth. This motion is known as simple harmonic motion.

However, if we take into account forces such as resistive forces brought about by air resistance, you will not reach the edge. Instead, your velocity will be decreased from the ideal maximum, and your fall will stop before you reach the other side. You will then fall back towards the center, travelling shorter and shorter distances each time, until you reach a stop at the middle of the Earth. Since the mass of Earth on all sides of you is the same, you will experience an overall zero gravitational force, thus floating in the core.
2001-10-22 04:33:41 PM  
Does that mean that in Senfmeister's equation, g is changing as Bigpeeler moves towards the center?
2001-10-22 04:35:32 PM  
Idiots. They are trying to use physics to prove that the earth is flat, but if they actually knew jack shiat about physics they would know that ANY object has its own gravity, but the amount of gravity depends on the object's mass; therefore the earth MUST have enough gravity into its core to prevent their silly sand slide theory. I want to kick these people in their anti-gravitational nuts.
(see above for explanation of mass-gravity you silly stoopidfaces who dont get it and need to go to SCHOOL)
2001-10-22 04:50:53 PM  
Heheh... reading the comments here by people who can't tell this site is a joke is funnier than the site itself.
2001-10-22 04:51:16 PM  
"Success story: Upon escaping during a bloody shootout that left 19 prison workers and 27 prisoners dead, a reformed felon known only as "Rasp" went directly to a payphone and contacted our HQ. He is currently working in place of "retired" health-care worker Mr. Sonnovin at the Green Acres nursing home in Charlamange, WI. "

i'd hate to see the failures!

(good joke site but i've seen funnier)
2001-10-22 04:56:46 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

May I present to you the president and vice president of the Pimps of Flat Women on Earth Society.
2001-10-22 05:01:32 PM  
Incidentally, their beliefs are based on comments from the Bible

Apparently, the bible doesn't actually state that the earth is flat - the only reference to earth's flatness is made in a dream of a Pagan king, and thus not the word of god. This is the kind of crap I find out by reading stuff fark links to.
2001-10-22 05:14:06 PM  
NCBrit: g *would* be changing, but I think you're save to do the computation with the initial and final conditions (all energy is potential, all energy is kinetic).

When doing gravitational stuff like this involving a sphere, you can treat a spere (or shell) like a point particle with the necessary mass located at the center of the sphere when you are located outside of it. Also, if you are inside a shell, the net force due to gravity is 0 at any point.
2001-10-22 05:26:48 PM  

10-22-01 03:36:06 PM Bigpeeler
Question: If you could drill a large hole completely through the earth (say from, Pittsburgh through to Hong Kong)and you jumped into it, what would happen?

. . . snip

I've always wondered about this. And I'm not drunk!!

In your case, you would die after digging about 25ft down when the hole collapsed in on you, thereby becoming a leading contender for a Darwin Award. photoshops would lose a valuable contributor but the submitted article would almost certainly get an "ASININE" tag that various people on the discussion thread would dispute, saying it should be "SAD" or "STUPID", so your death would not go totally un-remarked or un-remembered.
2001-10-22 05:44:35 PM  
How do you "know" the earth is round though? Have you
gone out and measured it yourself? Sure they TOLD you
it was round in school and on TV, but ultimately you
are most likely relying on hearsay to reach the personal
conclusion that the earth is not flat...I choose to believe
it is an oblate spheroid, but that's just one Farker's

It's a goofy fun mental exercise meant to prove a point
that has obviously been missed by some (YHBT).
2001-10-22 06:46:36 PM  
Oblong Sphereoid.
2001-10-22 06:56:19 PM  
Boobies: I think the ship-disappearing-in-the-distance theory is good enough for me, although it has a loophole. @_@
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