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(Some Guy)   Man desperately needs to evacuate his bowels, ends up evacuating a whole school instead   (kdvr.com) divider line 62
    More: Dumbass, Littleton, middle schools, Stony Creek Elementary School  
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13249 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2011 at 5:11 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-04-22 01:53:05 PM
farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2011-04-22 02:24:14 PM

Ennuipoet: farm3.static.flickr.com


media.giantbomb.com
 
2011-04-22 05:14:25 PM
He should've noticed he was in Littleton, and just taken a dump in the park, or something.
 
2011-04-22 05:14:51 PM
There is an upcoming South Park episode, for sure.
 
2011-04-22 05:15:22 PM
Littleton schools are the wrong place to even be close to.

Hyper-traction in Over reaction.
 
2011-04-22 05:18:09 PM
"Unidentified man defiles Mrs. Bradley's bird bath, with photographic evidence!"
 
2011-04-22 05:18:57 PM
2 evacuations in one school.
 
2011-04-22 05:23:23 PM
Hunh. All that stink over nuthin',.
 
2011-04-22 05:23:36 PM
Christ we've become such pussies.
 
2011-04-22 05:26:28 PM
images4.hiboox.com
 
2011-04-22 05:29:08 PM
*Whew!*

Was worried that it was this guy . . .


farm1.static.flickr.com


Hot and maybe even a little obscure
 
2011-04-22 05:29:13 PM
Uhh, yeah, unidentified man barges into a school in Colorado on the eve of the Columbine anniversary, "forced his way past school staff," and that doesn't warrant some measure of overreaction?

Sometimes, overreaction is justified.
 
2011-04-22 05:30:45 PM

impaler: Christ we've become such pussies.


Well, they're still looking for the older guy who left a bomb at a mall nearby on 4/20. People are a little skittish.
 
2011-04-22 05:40:33 PM
Ennuipoet

Lulz.

/poop thread.
 
2011-04-22 05:41:46 PM

awfulperson: Uhh, yeah, unidentified man barges into a school in Colorado on the eve of the Columbine anniversary, "forced his way past school staff," and that doesn't warrant some measure of overreaction?

Sometimes, overreaction is justified.


The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: impaler: Christ we've become such pussies.

Well, they're still looking for the older guy who left a bomb at a mall nearby on 4/20. People are a little skittish.


Can I not overreact at my disdain for overreaction??

Sheesh people...
 
2011-04-22 05:41:54 PM
This is relevant to this thread and (PNSFW)

The link button isn't working so here is the URL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRSbB2Eau74
 
2011-04-22 05:43:31 PM

awfulperson: Uhh, yeah, unidentified man barges into a school in Colorado on the eve of the Columbine anniversary, "forced his way past school staff," and that doesn't warrant some measure of overreaction?


What I don't get is why the guy isn't being charged with a crime. Isn't this trespassing? Or do we now all have the greenlight to barge into elementary schools any time we want to? What if I really really need a crayon?

Frankly, I find it hard to believe this guy couldn't find restroom facilities somewhere else. You know, like maybe at a gas station, a fast food joint, or a store. If I had to go badly, the last thing I'd think of is storming an elementary school and pushing my way past school personnel.
 
2011-04-22 05:46:53 PM

Andulamb: Frankly, I find it hard to believe this guy couldn't find restroom facilities somewhere else. You know, like maybe at a gas station, a fast food joint, or a store. If I had to go badly, the last thing I'd think of is storming an elementary school and pushing my way past school personnel.


I've seen schools that were ~6 blocks from anywhere commercial. Now, 6 blocks isn't much if you're driving, but if you're on foot and get that 'feeling', well, I'd probably go for the school as well.

That they found him at all tends to tell me that he wasn't driving.
 
2011-04-22 05:46:59 PM
I'm thinking he was a former student and was familiar with the place.
 
2011-04-22 05:49:22 PM
Wanted for questioning...

img849.imageshack.us
 
2011-04-22 05:51:55 PM
Oh, the cornanity!
 
2011-04-22 05:52:01 PM
i107.photobucket.com
 
2011-04-22 05:52:04 PM
Why do I get this funny feeling that "Pushed past school personnel" really means the Secretary said "Excuse me Sir" on his way past.
 
2011-04-22 05:52:33 PM
did he have a slightly charming brittish accent chanting, 'Potty, Potty, Potty....'?
/Loved me this episode...
/Still chants it to this day when I want to freak out my co-workers...
 
2011-04-22 05:54:51 PM
Poor guy. He must have been about to explode.
 
2011-04-22 05:59:19 PM

Farker T: Poor guy. He must have been about to explode.


Seriously. I wouldn't voluntarily go into an elementary school again unless my ass were about to pour hellfire.

/Did not have a good time at school in elementary.
 
2011-04-22 06:01:56 PM
When I was a kid I was going door-to-door selling stuff for some school-related funding thing. I was walking all damn day doing this. It snuck up on me as I wandered the suburban nightmare where I was raised...

After selling some tickets to a wealthy man, I shat in his gravel yard.
 
2011-04-22 06:07:32 PM
What's the big deal about little baby mice?
/Not obscure
//Maybe a little too subtle
 
2011-04-22 06:11:49 PM
Tag is for..... well, everyone but this guy. The world is farking retarded.
 
2011-04-22 06:34:20 PM

Vash's Apprentice: What's the big deal about little baby mice?
/Not obscure
//Maybe a little too subtle


Definitely not obscure in the slightest.
 
2011-04-22 06:38:08 PM
I'm on the can right now, so I'm really getting a squirt out of these replies...
 
2011-04-22 06:39:38 PM
Do they ever get the laughter from others for being the Stony Creek Elementary School Yellow Vaginas? It would seem that a better mascot could be picked for these. The guess of me is that the principal is very fat and it was the shorter distance to go outside than to walk to the bathroom to do the checking.
 
2011-04-22 06:40:56 PM
Came for the Chappelle reference, leaving disappointed and with a serious case of mud butt.
 
2011-04-22 06:41:16 PM
I know a guy who had a colostomy. It's not extremely rare and when those people have to go, they have to go.
 
2011-04-22 06:43:45 PM

dwhy_clist: Came for the Chappelle reference, leaving disappointed and with a serious case of mud butt.


What is next? Will you wish for the Dane Cook reference also? You should join the TotalFark.com website and then start the discussion about the unfunny comedians. This is the story about the exploding rectal canal.
 
2011-04-22 06:46:05 PM
I'd poop my pants before I'd run into a school to use the restroom. It isn't worth potentially being labeled as a pedo.
 
2011-04-22 06:46:40 PM
The Postman always stinks twice.
 
2011-04-22 06:49:20 PM
+2 subby, for correctly using the word 'evacuate', twice.

Thank you for not reporting that 'all the school children had to be evacuated,' like TV news would have done. Hearing it reported that way always leaves an unpleasant mental image. Involuntary evacuation would be a horrible experience.

According to some news reporters, it has apparently become a common treatment from officials for people occupying buildings.
 
2011-04-22 06:51:01 PM
www.brobible.com
 
2011-04-22 06:52:29 PM
A whole school? Man, he must have been eating chili with beans and onions, with some broccoli and cabbage on the side.
 
2011-04-22 06:53:04 PM
oh, come on. there's nothing nanny-state about being nanny.. in the scenarios that have always been nanny. it's an elementary school, exactly the people we teach about stranger-danger. even animals get all uppity when someone unknown gets near their kids.

funny situation, but not the wrong thing to do. calling an aqua-teen lite-brite terrorism? too nanny. going into account-the-children mode when an uninvited person barges on the premises? fine as-is.

/huh-huh. poop.
//i visualize him saying "can't talk now!" as he speedwalks on by
 
2011-04-22 06:57:08 PM
Round 2. FIGHT!

Yeah, not direct linking this one:
Link (new window)
 
2011-04-22 07:14:01 PM

Mootwo: Round 2. FIGHT!

Yeah, not direct linking this one:
Link (new window)



The looks on the faces are priceless.

/As long as you're standing upwind
 
2011-04-22 07:33:30 PM
img140.imageshack.us
 
2011-04-22 07:40:57 PM

Cargo: *Whew!*

Was worried that it was this guy . . .

Hot and maybe even a little obscure


Yes, but in a good way. I have a small pile of original Yummy Furs I still treasure.
 
2011-04-22 08:13:12 PM

LavenderWolf: Farker T: Poor guy. He must have been about to explode.

Seriously. I wouldn't voluntarily go into an elementary school again unless my ass were about to pour hellfire.

/Did not have a good time at school in elementary.


Also, elementary school toilets are like four inches off the ground. You could really hurt yourself if you were that desperate to go and misjudged the distance from your ass to the seat.
 
2011-04-22 08:19:53 PM
ecdn2.hark.com
 
2011-04-22 08:21:56 PM
Sometimes...outta nowhere...the need to seriously defecate arises.... If there is no public place around what do you do?
 
2011-04-22 08:25:13 PM
Wife's name?

Incontinetia. Incontinentia Buttocks.
 
2011-04-22 08:26:27 PM
www.technovelgy.com

/poop
 
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