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(Some Guy)   Farker el_hueso locked down in mall while cops look for armed robber. Right now   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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14216 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2003 at 3:29 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

527 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-08-08 04:13:14 PM  
They write to the secretary in the office and she forwards to the rest of us. There about 130 in my office/cube farm.
2003-08-08 04:13:32 PM  
El_Hueso knows funny.
2003-08-08 04:14:31 PM  
The man is believed to be between the ages of 30 and 40, and is said to have a pencil-thin moustache.

That's so weird.

Anyway, they've talked to his girlfriend. Doesn't she know how old he is, and the width of his moustache?
2003-08-08 04:14:34 PM  
"They write to the secretary in the office and she forwards to the rest of us. There about 130 in my office/cube farm."

130 what? emails? secretarys? gunmen?

Be specific man! I am in Mpls and nothing this exciting ever happens here!
2003-08-08 04:15:02 PM  
So, tell us more about this secretary. Is she hot?
2003-08-08 04:15:16 PM  
crazyjim -- oh yeah, I think that stuff is definitely in Dawn. It's been called a "metaphor for consumerism" by others. Just one of the reasons it's such a cool flick (other reasons being, of course, cool Savini gore FX and a neat-o post-apocalyptic vibe).
2003-08-08 04:15:25 PM  
Axoplasm knows funny.
2003-08-08 04:15:29 PM  
This reminds me of the time a couple of years ago that all those police and emergency vehicles were all racing to Lower Manhattan and I was posting about it on Fark as it happened... can't remember what the occasion was, though...

/NYC black humor
2003-08-08 04:15:33 PM  
CatchrNdRy, if it said then I'm sure Drew would chip in.

Amusing that el_hueso could be making money on the roof while the mall beneath him is locked down.
2003-08-08 04:15:36 PM  
Just a thought el hueso, look in the trash cans after they catch this guy, he'll be dumping the cash. I'll take 10% off the top.
2003-08-08 04:15:42 PM  
Why is there an office with 130 people in a mall?
2003-08-08 04:15:53 PM  
Sure it does Kaka!

On 7th Street and 3rd (Next to Grand hotel) when they found that "bomb" last month. It was a backpack that some bum had left on the side of the bus stop and they blew it up!

That was fun!
2003-08-08 04:15:54 PM  
I'm going out on the parking garage right now to see what's up. I'll try and wave at the helicopter...wait maybe not.
2003-08-08 04:15:56 PM  
"They write to the secretary in the office and she forwards to the rest of us. There about 130 in my office/cube farm."

130 what? emails? secretarys? gunmen?

since he is a farker, probably 130 dead kittens
2003-08-08 04:15:59 PM  
Damn, this thread is going to be huge by the time this is over.
2003-08-08 04:16:10 PM  
This would be a chance to make a name for yourself. Don't be a hero, just get naked.

Take off your clothes and walk around. There haven't been any good naked guy stories on Fark in, what, 2 hours????

:D :D :D
2003-08-08 04:16:22 PM  
I guess farking on the roof would be nearly as good of camera fodder as a huge FARK sign, so go for it man! Exploit the hostage condition!
2003-08-08 04:16:28 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

el_hueso This isn't you, is it???

/sarcasm, of course
2003-08-08 04:16:41 PM  
el_hueso still has a chance to be a hero. Just grab one of those metal blood-sample boxes and stand by the railing. When you see a 30-40 year old black mail with a pencil-thin moustache and a gun walking around below you, drop the box on his head. Problem solved.

Better yet, drop a lawyer on his head. You've got several of those up there.

(And yes, I must admit, when I read the "30-to-40-year old black male" part, my first reaction was "great, you've just described a third of Lloyd Center.")
2003-08-08 04:16:42 PM  
When you and an armed robbery perp are locked together in a mall, and your first reaction is to post it to FARK, you just might be an internet addict.
2003-08-08 04:16:54 PM  
The Gap is closed???

2003-08-08 04:16:55 PM  
ty flamegirl. I can die happy now. Seriously.
2003-08-08 04:17:17 PM  
That was funny, Axoplasm.
I bet he responds.
2003-08-08 04:17:26 PM  
seriously make a sign on the roof i will put in 10 also
2003-08-08 04:17:27 PM  

Yeah - true and there was that great wreck on 35W about 45 days ago.

Mpls/Stp "The Action Cities"
2003-08-08 04:17:43 PM  
My name is El_Hueso. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
2003-08-08 04:18:00 PM  
I plead the fifth... admit nothing, deny everything!!

Don't forget: Call for evidence!!!

The whole statement is:

Admit nothing, deny everything, call for evidence!!! :D :D
2003-08-08 04:18:05 PM  
crazyjim: actually the theme was more ambiguous than that.. for all the 'mallgoer zombie' imagery, you'll notice that the 'heroes' of the film were themselves swept up in the euphoria of consumer culture, first out of necessity, then out of greed. In the end they found themselves in conflict with their own greed (their desire to protect the posessions they had stolen) as well as with their fellow man (the bikers, who were just as greedy as they). In the end they come to terms with their own consumerism, and realize that while useful and necessary (i.e. the helicopter), that you have to use your judgement to keep from becoming consumed by your own consumption, and come to terms with it. They realize that posessions in themselves aren't bad, but they're not the end-all-be-all of existance.
2003-08-08 04:18:18 PM  
They should probably check the Rap section of Record Town, I doubt he's in Abercrombie and Fitch.
2003-08-08 04:18:33 PM  
"el_hueso still has a chance to be a hero."

Let's Roll!!!
2003-08-08 04:18:41 PM  
el_hueso be careful dude!
2003-08-08 04:18:51 PM  
Hueso, what's mall security's e-mail address? We can all send them suggestions as what to say over the PA.

Mine would be, "Lando Clarissian, give yourself up!"

[image from too old to be available]
2003-08-08 04:19:05 PM  

Now's a good time to find out if masterbation is better under duress. Give it a whack.
2003-08-08 04:19:13 PM  
It's not that Oregon is racist - - it's just that most of the natives there haven't ever *seen* anyone non-Nordic. If you're black or brown or anything but pasty-white, you're treated like the visiting Martian ambassador.

And this probably doesn't apply to Portland, or Salem.

East of The Dalles, though - - you're on your own, baby.
2003-08-08 04:19:24 PM  
Harry-----> Tourette Syndrome
2003-08-08 04:19:31 PM  
2003-08-08 03:47:08 PM crazyjim

This is why I never go to the mall anymore. I don't go anywhere I'm not willing to die at.

So do you not go anywhere? Or do you not exist? *gasp* Or are you ethereal?

j/p :p
2003-08-08 04:19:32 PM  
he could pour some of that blood he has up there on himself, then run out on the roof !
2003-08-08 04:19:47 PM  

My advice: now is as good a time as any to pull a Costanza and take a nap under the desk.

Seriously. In fact, I think I'll do the same.

Be careful
2003-08-08 04:19:47 PM  
Are you guys attaching existential meaning to a B-movie? Cause I do that all the time.
2003-08-08 04:19:57 PM  
This just in: el_hueso has easy access to the top of the building, yet refuses to make a sign or otherwise bring joy to the heart of Farkers and earn him eternal hero status. Analysis: He's a pussy.
2003-08-08 04:20:08 PM  
Is the Gap still closed?
2003-08-08 04:20:19 PM  
So I am thinking he should have taken someone's advice and grabbed a camera. I would have started tapping everything and then sell it to the news media for the 6'oclock.

I assume no media is in the mall since no one is coming out.

Keep saying "Fark" while recording, and everything is all good.
2003-08-08 04:20:58 PM  

or maybe just a liar?
2003-08-08 04:20:58 PM  
People are locked in a mall with an armed felon, lives are in danger, and I'm laughing like a Goddamned hyena. This is why I love Fark.
2003-08-08 04:21:01 PM  
"Pencil-thin mustache?"

Waitaminute- they're being held up by John Waters! RUN AWAY!!
2003-08-08 04:21:42 PM  

we don't want to see no film of you tapping anything !
2003-08-08 04:21:46 PM  
Crazyjim: Re: "Dawn of the Dead" - Glad you "got it." Check out the social satire of "Night of the Living Dead" again sometime. They are classic films for much more than their horror movie classification.

There are probably websites devoted to the psychological and social commentary in those movies.
2003-08-08 04:21:54 PM  
Are you guys attaching existential meaning to a B-movie? Cause I do that all the time.

Yep. Only use for my liberal arts education I can think of.

Now, about that homosexual undercurrent in A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge...
2003-08-08 04:21:59 PM  
That will heat things up!!!!
/just stirrin' the pot!!!
2003-08-08 04:22:02 PM  
"cbm5 or maybe just a liar?"

Wow! That took a lot longer than I thought it would.

/go fark!
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