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(Yahoo)   North Korea stages biggest magic show ever, still fails to make food for its people magically appear   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 71
    More: Stupid, North Koreans, Kim Il Sung, David Copperfield, Great Wall of China, magics, Houdini, arts festivals, production team  
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9646 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2011 at 1:52 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-04-18 11:04:10 PM  
i154.photobucket.com
 
2011-04-19 01:39:13 AM  
i53.tinypic.com


/Nice headline, subby!
 
2011-04-19 02:02:08 AM  
I clicked the link, expecting to see some military display that they photoshopped. I was shocked to find out that it was actually a farking magic show.

WTF, man?
 
2011-04-19 02:03:12 AM  
Did it make their hunger magically disappear?
 
2011-04-19 02:04:01 AM  
I thought Kim Jong-Il was Jesus? He should be able to do that.

/I guess he couldn't get the audience to all turn around at the same time
 
2011-04-19 02:09:24 AM  
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITBqRSMBWaM">Link (new window)
Because the North Korean people really need a magic show right now.
 
2011-04-19 02:11:42 AM  
North Korea is Best Korea- whar pic?!?!

/yes, +1 for subby!
 
2011-04-19 02:13:28 AM  
Bread and Circuses without the bread?
 
2011-04-19 02:17:17 AM  
oooh BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNN
 
2011-04-19 02:20:13 AM  
tvrefill.com

/hot like a burning ring of fire
 
2011-04-19 02:21:35 AM  
The got the circus sorted out. Now, they just need bread.
 
2011-04-19 02:22:59 AM  
I found a picture of the dramatic finale:

img845.imageshack.us

The tricks are simple crowd pleasers

Illusions! The illusions are simple crowd pleasers. Tricks are what whores do for money. Or cocaine.

/actually, both words work here
 
2011-04-19 02:23:32 AM  
I don't love David Copperfield, but that's gotta be difficult when governments are involved in where and when you can/can't perform magic.
 
2011-04-19 02:24:15 AM  
"This is magic North Korean-style performed in a show touted as the country's biggest ever and mounted in a city where good, old-fashioned illusion, a dancing bear and a dose of slapstick comedy can still command the biggest crowds of the year."


Hm, it's almost as if there's jack for entertainment in Bestest Korea except for the claims of a superior military (illusions), dear ronery reader himself (the dancing bear), and the propaganda (the comedy)...

Let's put on a USO show near the border with a few celebrity strippers and see what happens.
 
2011-04-19 02:29:08 AM  
"They love magic shows, together with the circus," said Tony Namkung, a scholar who often serves as a liaison between North Korea and the U.S. and other governments. "Like so many other things, it harkens back to a pre-electronic past when things were much simpler."

Ah, yes, the simpler days, when food was cheap and plentiful, the streets were free of starving soldiers, and Dear Leader was still growing up in a forced-labor camp in Manchuria and nobody even knew he was alive.
 
2011-04-19 02:29:46 AM  
I'm trying to imagine Nork slapstick.

Probably just somebody being hit with a stick. Repeatedly.
 
2011-04-19 02:31:20 AM  
i51.tinypic.com

And like that... *poof* there was bread!
 
2011-04-19 02:36:17 AM  
Didn't harry potter teach us that you can't magic food out of thin air?
 
2011-04-19 02:36:36 AM  

NewportBarGuy: And like that... *poof* there was bread!


"At the end, the peasants were dismayed, yet wholly unsurprised, when they were not permitted to eat the bread. 'The bread will be used', a translator stated for the benefit of foreign news services, 'by placing it aside as seed for planting in the spring, thus ensuring a richer, fuller bread harvest next year.'"
 
2011-04-19 02:42:47 AM  

batlock666: Didn't harry potter teach us that you can't magic food out of thin air?


Food is one of the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration.
 
2011-04-19 02:45:26 AM  

Cpl.D: "At the end, the peasants were dismayed, yet wholly unsurprised, when they were not permitted to eat the bread. 'The bread will be used', a translator stated for the benefit of foreign news services, 'by placing it aside as seed for planting in the spring, thus ensuring a richer, fuller bread harvest next year.'"


I'm going to hell for laughing at that.
 
2011-04-19 02:47:54 AM  
That's a Kim Jong-Ill setup.
 
2011-04-19 02:52:47 AM  
FTFA:

"Like so many other things, it harkens back to a pre-electronic past when things were much simpler."

You mean, Monday?
 
2011-04-19 02:56:47 AM  
At this point, feeding their masses is probably rather against the interest of the DPRK government. Starvation is both a method of leverage ("agree with me if you want to live") and a focus; people who are too busy worrying about whether they'll have enough food to survive the next week are people who have less time and energy (literally) to devote to conspiracy and rebellion.

And their military doesn't need to be anywhere near strong enough to 'win' a war against any neighbor; it just needs to retain the capacity to inflict completely unacceptable damage (by artillery fire on Seoul, for instance; or by threatening to become Nukes-R-Us) so that neighbors and their backers have the incentive to grudgingly play ball. (The military does need to be happy enough to keep the Dear Leader in power, of course).
 
2011-04-19 02:56:48 AM  

Uncle Wiggly: FTFA:

"Like so many other things, it harkens back to a pre-electronic past when things were much simpler."

You mean, Monday?


No, they're referencing the great Pyongyang panic of 1933. A foreigner brought in a devil box, from which fell voices did issue. The devil box was smashed and the foreigner killed, and from that date the North Koreans show a healthy mistrust for foreigners and the black magic known as "electronics" both.

/They put you in jail over there for even remembering there was a year 1933
 
2011-04-19 03:01:18 AM  
They do have best magic
 
2011-04-19 03:07:36 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Fun fact- North Korea was once heavily populated with ligers, bred for their skills in magic.

But they eated them.
 
2011-04-19 03:09:52 AM  
Once upon a time, I "assisted" Copperfield in making a small jet disappear at the Van Nuys airport. Me and about 20 other people. ( And Susan Anton, who flubbed her few lines so often, they were wishing David would make her disappear. ) But we got to use the bathroom in her trailer.

Now, just where did he put that plane?
 
2011-04-19 03:10:00 AM  
FTFA

Over the next 45 minutes, he appears to make a Pyongyang bus levitate

Not hard as it was filled with starving natives.

Impress me by making a greyhound bus filled with people from Corpus Cristi, TX levitate.

Hell, I would be impressed if you got it to move.
 
2011-04-19 03:10:32 AM  
North Korea is master at illusions....
 
2011-04-19 03:12:06 AM  
Forgot the pic of what a person from Corpus Cristi, TX might look like

hiphopwired.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-04-19 03:15:41 AM  
Ahh, the power of income redistribution, it works so well that we should try it here.
 
2011-04-19 03:16:12 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

These pics are kinda scary when you deconstruct why they're "weird".

Nowhere is he showing off in front of containers of commercial quantities of this stuff. It's baskets that most people could harvest out of a backyard garden. Given that the POINT of this is to show off, and they regularly pull out all the stops to do so- does this mean there's only 12 eggplants in the entire country to show off?

/stuff's probably plastic anyways
 
2011-04-19 03:29:10 AM  
It never ceases to amaze me that there isn't a massive uprising in that country. Not enough nutrients to keep the people focused. I guess.
 
2011-04-19 03:32:27 AM  
"Vice Guide to North Korea" is a great documentary done on VBS web site. It is just amazing. It is about a reporter who got permission to go into North Korea and what his experience was. It makes really glad to be an American. If you have time check it out:

Link (new window)
 
2011-04-19 03:33:48 AM  
randomjsa: Ahh, the power of income redistribution, it works so well that we should try it here.

i.adultswim.com

this troll is dildos
 
2011-04-19 03:38:29 AM  

dopeydwarf: It never ceases to amaze me that there isn't a massive uprising in that country. Not enough nutrients to keep the people focused. I guess.


Being brainwashed from birth helps. Imagine if all religious people that realized it was bullshiat got black bagged and were never seen again. When is Jesus going to make some bread and fish appear? God is a lazy prick.
 
2011-04-19 03:38:30 AM  
Hey Best Korea!!

www.blogcdn.com
 
2011-04-19 03:42:39 AM  
Hey thar kittypie.

i301.photobucket.com
 
2011-04-19 03:47:48 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Ah, yes, the simpler days, when food was cheap and plentiful, the streets were free of starving soldiers, and Dear Leader was still growing up in a forced-labor camp in Manchuria and nobody even knew he was alive.


Someone lock the thread; we got a winner.
 
2011-04-19 03:54:38 AM  

dopeydwarf: It never ceases to amaze me that there isn't a massive uprising in that country. Not enough nutrients to keep the people focused. I guess.


That absurdly massive army isn't there to repel an invasion. It's there to keep people in line. And there's little communication, which is really effective at preventing a cohesive uprising.

The starvation is a tool- it divides the nation; those of proven loyalty and/or in the army get fed. That food was taken at the expense of everyone else, and they readily see the difference between loyalty and "little people". Most have been hungry in their lives and have no desire to experience being "little people" again even if a simple, bloodless revolution were a yes/no proposition.
 
2011-04-19 03:55:48 AM  

dopeydwarf: It never ceases to amaze me that there isn't a massive uprising in that country. Not enough nutrients to keep the people focused. I guess.


That, and it's essentially going to be a bunch of human skeletons against the only people in the country with guns or food.

An uprising would look, in function, something like a real-life game of Dead Rising.
 
2011-04-19 04:18:26 AM  

Oznog: These pics are kinda scary when you deconstruct why they're "weird".


And we know how wee lil Kim is, so amirite those tomatoes are kind of on the small side?
 
2011-04-19 04:18:51 AM  
Can we get a commentary about how north korea essentially uses the same philosophy as the Ministry of Plenty?
 
2011-04-19 04:36:09 AM  
Oznog
Most have been hungry in their lives and have no desire to experience being "little people" again even if a simple, bloodless revolution were a yes/no proposition.

The quote marks seem unnecessary, as there is reasonable evidence that those people tend to be shorter than their South Korean counterparts due to malnutrition. :(
 
2011-04-19 04:47:27 AM  
possessthevision.files.wordpress.com

Should'a got this guy, he can do wonders with a few loaves and fishes.
 
2011-04-19 04:50:13 AM  

Oznog: Should'a got this guy, he can do wonders with a few loaves and fishes.


At the low-low price of your eternal soul.
 
2011-04-19 06:34:17 AM  

Oznog: These pics are kinda scary when you deconstruct why they're "weird".

Nowhere is he showing off in front of containers of commercial quantities of this stuff. It's baskets that most people could harvest out of a backyard garden. Given that the POINT of this is to show off, and they regularly pull out all the stops to do so- does this mean there's only 12 eggplants in the entire country to show off?

/stuff's probably plastic anyways


The man whispering behind the notebook is telling Kim that he's holding the entire food budget for August.
 
2011-04-19 06:42:06 AM  
So they've got the circuses - now all they need is the bread.....

"In '95 Paul McCartney donated 100 top hats......FAT USE!"

/obscure?
//got to watch this video - the funniest thing ever.......

Link (new window)
 
2011-04-19 06:51:30 AM  

Pert: So they've got the circuses - now all they need is the bread.....

"In '95 Paul McCartney donated 100 top hats......FAT USE!"

/obscure?
//got to watch this video - the funniest thing ever.......

Link (new window)


Nice! That's a new one to me.
 
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