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(WRAL)   You've just been released from jail, and you're waiting for a ride home. Do you a) Read the newspaper, b) surf the web on your phone, or c) urinate on a State Highway Patrol car?   (wral.com) divider line 63
    More: Dumbass, stolen goods, patrol cars, North Carolina Highway Patrol car, wral  
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4495 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2011 at 5:45 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-04-18 05:17:38 PM  
My best friend glued a giant dildo to the hood of a sheriff's car, so I'm going to get a kick out of these replies.
 
2011-04-18 05:47:13 PM  
C) If I could get away with it.
 
2011-04-18 05:48:34 PM  
Its always C
 
2011-04-18 05:49:24 PM  

UNC_Samurai: My best friend glued a giant dildo to the hood of a sheriff's car, so I'm going to get a kick out of these replies.


My hero
 
2011-04-18 05:50:14 PM  
If it was the CHP that got me thrown in jail, I'd probably shiat on it too (if I could get away with it of course).
 
2011-04-18 05:50:24 PM  
Who has a web-browsing phone when they just got of jail? Prisoners have the life
 
2011-04-18 05:50:27 PM  
POOR IMPULSE CONTROL
 
2011-04-18 05:50:51 PM  
WINNING!
 
2011-04-18 05:52:03 PM  
How do YOU spell relief?
 
2011-04-18 05:52:55 PM  
X) purchase a new meme


Other options:
R) Make a homosexual joke
5) Pratfall like President Ford
#) Initiate a spit-take
>) Have Bob Hope walk on with a 9 iron
 
2011-04-18 05:53:02 PM  

DubyaHater: Who has a web-browsing phone when they just got of jail? Prisoners have the life


If he had one at the time he was arrested, he'd get it back when he was released.
 
2011-04-18 05:53:09 PM  

destrip: If it was the CHP that got me thrown in jail, I'd probably shiat on it too (if I could get away with it of course).


When I got arrested in Arizona driving through the state on a road trip, when we got released, waiting for our third buddy to get out, we made a point of cleaning out all the smelly garbage and refuse from our cars in front of the doors to the Sheriff's dept. Sure, all it did was make some poor janitor come out and clean it up, but it made us feel better.

/there was a lot of it
//lots of fast food trash
 
2011-04-18 05:54:29 PM  
They always forget about the surveillance cameras. But you have to admire their effort. Particularly this guy. (new window)
 
2011-04-18 06:00:11 PM  
How do you pee up the windows?
 
2011-04-18 06:01:13 PM  
www.rockettshirts.com
 
2011-04-18 06:01:19 PM  
Duh you find the nearest hooker.
 
2011-04-18 06:02:23 PM  

loconut3391: How do you pee up the windows?



With gusto!
 
2011-04-18 06:03:45 PM  
Wait...do I have to choose only one? I can't do A and C at the same time? I like to catch up on the news when I dookie on a car hood.
 
2011-04-18 06:06:49 PM  
Hero tag?
 
2011-04-18 06:10:15 PM  
If you're going to pee on a car, you don't just pee on the hood. Obviously if there is an open window you want to pee in there but your best burn is to pee into the car's air vent between the hood and the windshield. This should make the car's inside air smell like pee. So eat asparagus. Lots of asparagus.
 
2011-04-18 06:14:28 PM  

UNC_Samurai: My best friend glued a giant dildo to the hood of a sheriff's car...


And then he sat on it.
 
2011-04-18 06:17:52 PM  
Classy.
 
2011-04-18 06:18:12 PM  
Best place for urine on a vehicle is in the radiator fins.

Some ass wipe did that to my car at a bar and it took months for the smell to go away.
 
2011-04-18 06:22:24 PM  
userserve-ak.last.fm
Sympathizes...
 
2011-04-18 06:23:13 PM  

RDixon: Best place for urine on a vehicle is in the radiator fins.

Some ass wipe did that to my car at a bar and it took months for the smell to go away.


Sorry, I was drunk.
 
2011-04-18 06:24:28 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: If you're going to pee on a car, you don't just pee on the hood. Obviously if there is an open window you want to pee in there but your best burn is to pee into the car's air vent between the hood and the windshield. This should make the car's inside air smell like pee. So eat asparagus. Lots of asparagus.


do u have a newsletter?
 
2011-04-18 06:24:47 PM  
What are they going to arrest birds now?
 
2011-04-18 06:25:48 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: Obviously if there is an open window you want to pee in there but your best burn is to pee into the car's air vent between the hood and the windshield. This should make the car's inside air smell like pee.


That's not an air vent, and it doesn't go into the interior of the car. What you are talking about is the cowl. On certain cars with cowl induction, this provides fresh-air intake for the carbeurator.
 
2011-04-18 06:28:20 PM  

creepy jackalope eye: Sympathizes...


Dammit. Came to make a Buffalo 66 reference.

Now I have to go be hip and misunderstood somewhere else
 
2011-04-18 06:31:49 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: That's not an air vent, and it doesn't go into the interior of the car. What you are talking about is the cowl. On certain cars with cowl induction, this provides fresh-air intake for the carbeurator.


No, on most cars there are vents right in front of the windshield and before the hood, some may just have a drainage area that lets water flow into reservoirs. As long as its dry, peeing here will end up making a car smell like urine every time the vents are used and there is really no way to stop it if you dont know its there.
 
2011-04-18 06:34:55 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Kumana Wanalaia: Obviously if there is an open window you want to pee in there but your best burn is to pee into the car's air vent between the hood and the windshield. This should make the car's inside air smell like pee.

That's not an air vent, and it doesn't go into the interior of the car. What you are talking about is the cowl. On certain cars with cowl induction, this provides fresh-air intake for the carbeurator.


Hmm. I heard that if you put confetti in there, it will blow out when the air is on, and it's practically impossible to get all of the confetti out. Is this not the case?

If not then where is the outside air intake for the inside air?

/not a car guy
//obviously
 
2011-04-18 06:36:09 PM  
Why would someone do that?
 
2011-04-18 06:39:52 PM  

puffy999: Why would someone do that?


General meanness.
 
2011-04-18 06:41:11 PM  

puffy999: Why would someone do that?


Problems with authority, feels victimized by the system, junkie, cops beat him up, hears voices, pick all that apply.
 
2011-04-18 06:41:53 PM  

RDixon: puffy999: Why would someone do that?

General meanness stupidity.

FTFM

Every time I've been arrested and then released, my main thought is "get me as far away from this place as possible" and not "let me do something that could easily put me right back in lockup"
 
2011-04-18 06:44:19 PM  
It seemed like the right thing to do.
 
2011-04-18 06:46:10 PM  
images.wikia.com

It seemed like the thing to do
 
2011-04-18 06:46:46 PM  
"shakes tiny fist"

What a clusterfark
 
2011-04-18 06:48:27 PM  

raozmc: UNC_Samurai: My best friend glued a giant dildo to the hood of a sheriff's car, so I'm going to get a kick out of these replies.

My hero


Seriously. You just know that cop was so pissed off he couldn't see straight. 99% of cops (and I know lots of them) deserve something like that.
 
2011-04-18 06:49:21 PM  

destrip: If it was the CHP that got me thrown in jail, I'd probably shiat on it too (if I could get away with it of course).


My dad would have shiat on you if you'd done that to his car:
img31.imageshack.us


//miss you every day, Dad.
 
2011-04-18 06:51:29 PM  

zabadu: destrip: If it was the CHP that got me thrown in jail, I'd probably shiat on it too (if I could get away with it of course).

My dad would have shiat on you if you'd done that to his car:



//miss you every day, Dad.


Oh man, cue internet nerd rage
 
2011-04-18 06:53:10 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: zabadu: destrip: If it was the CHP that got me thrown in jail, I'd probably shiat on it too (if I could get away with it of course).

My dad would have shiat on you if you'd done that to his car:



//miss you every day, Dad.

Oh man, cue internet nerd rage


Billy clubs are nasty things. He never used his once.
 
2011-04-18 06:53:41 PM  
If some jackhole peed on your desk you wouldn't be so quick to applaud. What a jerk.
 
2011-04-18 06:53:45 PM  

Deacon Blue: raozmc: UNC_Samurai: My best friend glued a giant dildo to the hood of a sheriff's car, so I'm going to get a kick out of these replies.

My hero

Seriously. You just know that cop was so pissed off he couldn't see straight. 99% of cops (and I know lots of them) deserve something like that.


It was like the lyric in Alice's Restaurant. Every cop and sheriff's deputy was there, watching and laughing their asses off. Except for the one guy who looked like he wanted to find the culprit and sodomize him with his nightstick.

Meanwhile, the guilty parties were comfortably sitting in the house across the street.

They never got caught for it, despite the copious use of superglue. And he got fingerprinted a couple of years later for the tricycle incident, so the fact that he didn't get busted in THAT case was a miracle.
 
2011-04-18 07:11:17 PM  
I bet he was a Chinaman.
 
2011-04-18 07:14:32 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: RDixon: puffy999: Why would someone do that?

General meanness stupidity.
FTFM

Every time I've been arrested and then released, my main thought is "get me as far away from this place as possible" and not "let me do something that could easily put me right back in lockup"


THIS
 
2011-04-18 07:14:42 PM  

Brad_Will: DubyaHater: Who has a web-browsing phone when they just got of jail? Prisoners have the life

If he had one at the time he was arrested, he'd get it back when he was released.


If he's lucky.
 
2011-04-18 07:15:59 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: Brad_Will: DubyaHater: Who has a web-browsing phone when they just got of jail? Prisoners have the life

If he had one at the time he was arrested, he'd get it back when he was released.

If he's lucky.


I have no idea, really... all I know about the process is what I've seen on Las Vegas Jailhouse, which is to say I know nothing about it.
 
2011-04-18 07:19:48 PM  
Depends on the car, motor, tires, suspension, and shocks.

73 Dodge Monaco?

Hell yeah I'm going with C.
 
2011-04-18 07:28:37 PM  
My old car (2003 Saturn L300) had an air filter and the blower right under the hood hinge/window. I'm not sure where my new one is (2010 Dodge Avenger).
 
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