A recent investigation of health food stores has shown that 100% of their customers eventually end up dead.

Hey, nobody ever got toxic shock syndrome from an all-natural Cherokee hair tampon.

Chief Running Pinto: [holds up an item] Yeah. And these here are Cherokee hair tampons. They're, like, tampons made with all-natural hair from the Cherokee people.

Sharon: Ooh, a tampon made from Cherokee hairnow that sounds natural.

Miss Information: Native Americans are more in tune with the earth than we are.

Here's a shocker for ya: health store employees aren't doctors/pharmacists. They have no idea if some product they sell you will work for you or not and they really don't care. As long as they get your money up front.

Ginsing is good stuff.

Health store employees aren't anything except retail employees. Don't get lazy and leave your health decisions up to someone else. Do the research.

Minoridiot: Shoes? Whaddaya meab shoes?!

: Here's a shocker for ya: health store employees aren't doctors/pharmacists. They have no idea if some product they sell you will work for you or not and they really don't care. As long as they get your money up front.

Fine. Let's call them pharmaceutical reps then. Much more fitting anyway...

Ask any pimply faced kid working at a GNC....they all work on commission and that place if full of shiiiaatttttt....
No question....I *never* go there....I buy my own herbs and suppliments and do my own research as to what works and what doesn't ....I don't depend on the opinion of some asshat store clerk.....they don't know crap!! I'd be better off asking a complete stranger off the street!
/hate vitimin hawking health food idiots that try to get you to buy everything you *don't* need....DUH!!!!

Dirty hippies.

Fix the Farking link on the main page!

Why do people in health-food stores always look so sick.

That's why you should by your "suppliments" in the alley behind the health food store when these little trustafarian health store employees are on break.

People with cancer and desperate for something to help will likely believe that some all-natural remedy can cure them, even if they just read an article that says otherwise.

The health food stores will tell you anything to make a sale. The same goes for the vitamin stores.

oooo good use of the Ironic tag =P

Herbal remedy stores are simply the snake oil salesmen of the 21st century. They just throw a bunch of crap into a bottle and claim it has "restorative effects" and sell it for 25 bucks for a week's supply. There is absolutely no empirical data to back up their claims, and many of these (unregulated) remedies may in fact be extremely harmful.

In short, the makers of these products don't even know what they do, how do you expect a minimum wage employee to have any idea?

meab=mean
And those little ginseng & royal jelly drink things make really good crack pipes (apparently).

Health food store employees always suffer from some extreme ailment like really bad acne or extreme oogliness.

Yeah, it's known as "punk assed kid" clerk syndrome...

And here is the other side of the coin

Those whom the government wishes to destroy they first make the public mad at them.

The Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine says:

"health food stores are recommending a variety of products, [] none of which are supported by sufficient evidence of efficacy ".

So, basically, we've got Quacks calling Quacks Quacks..

Well, if it walks like a duck..

On an unrelated note, I've decided to quit reading posts further down than about 20, since after that I can't see the bullzeye.com ads anymore, and I like the bullzeye.com ads.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

You mean taking advice from an uninformed minimum-wage employee on which health products to buy can be detrimental to mey health? Wow thanks for the warning.

<--- Pretty good looking, probably the best we've had in the last few weeks. Still trying to find something awry in the profile. Wonder if she goes to SWU...

with regards to the article, most people who work in places like GMC actually don't know much about what they're selling. It's funny but the little shrimps who actually make the stuff know quite a bit more than the steroid-filled jocks that sell them...

Ok, so... the next time I see a European spacecraft in a health food store, I'll remember not to eat it.

I love the health food store near us. Not for the pills and crap but for the good cheap bulk flours and spices and cheap soy milk.

On the other hand, if you need somehing to pass a piss test, the minimum-wage employees are VERY helpful. Tested clean 8 months straight.

Two employees suggested that the products may cure the breast cancer...

That kills me.

Wow, I'm glad health food stores in America aren't like that.

Hmm, I don't even have titties. How the hell did this make Fark?

2003-08-06 01:00:41 PM mortisthecat


Ginsing is good stuff.

The Cat is right, Ginsing does have some quality...ummm, ...qualities!

Hey icecyle, I think that means that I can't stuff dog crap into to pill and sell it to you.

DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

heres a trick - dont take things you dont know shiat about and youll be fine.

Sound file to go with the photo...

DUHHHHHHH!!!!

http://www.hynkel.com/sounds/duh.wav

Bonus points to all farkers who can name all the logical fallacies in icecycle's linked document!

/Baloney detector set to maximum

I go to the local organic market for bread yeast (very cheap), rice protein (much cheaper than weight-gain 4000), and assorted things you can't get anywhere else.

"Health-food nuts are gonna feel real silly someday, dying of nothing." --Redd Foxx

I knew there was a reason I don't drink rice milk (I mean, aside from the fact that it tastes awful).

Hey ChipNASA, you sound bitter. Are you sure you're an astronaut?

In a related story, health food stores found to be overwhelmingly staffed by self-important, know-it-all college students who really don't give a rat's ass about you. Studies show 78% of health food employees disapprove of customers shopping choices, as opposed to only 12% at "standard" grocery stores.

Notice the lack of IRONY police? That's 'cuz this is a perfect example of irony. BTW, This would be also be another good use of my proposed "BOOBIE-RELATED" tag, for stories about boobies, but without actual photos...

Let's get down to the real issue here. These "alternative" treatments are taking money right out of the pockets of America's doctors. Will someone PLEASE think of the doctors?

Moleman, try the vanilla rice milk

????????????????????????????????????????????????????
What is the best "legal" alternative to pot available at health food herb stores?

/before being called asshat I will research any answers to this? before /purchasing/trying.

This would be a good story if the link actually worked.......

chad_beaverwood
All of it's nasty. Soy milk too. But my dad has to drink it (he prefers rice milk) because the real kind makes him super-phlegmy.

i agree Day_Old_Dutchie

By almost every measure, and by a wide margin, dietary supplements can be used more safely than conventional foods and OTC drugs.

really? is there any evidence to back this claim up? By almost every measure, and by a wide margin that article is filled with bs.