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(London Times)   "Directed energy weapons" and other top secret weapons could be used against Taliban   (sunday-times.co.uk) divider line 73
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6455 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2001 at 12:00 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2001-10-21 12:05:48 AM
And so we won the war...


they didn't even see us coming..

... but we got 'em...
 
2001-10-21 12:06:27 AM
and so we FIRST told 'em we were POST gonna get 'em...
 
2001-10-21 12:09:16 AM
In related news, Taliban officials have discovered that smaller stones can be thrown considerably farther than large ones.
 
2001-10-21 12:24:59 AM
Old news. The Army has microwave guns designed for crown control, like riots. They just haven't gotten the chance to use one yet.
 
2001-10-21 12:25:27 AM
Crown control. Yeah, that's what I meant to say.

One more vote for an "Edit" function.
 
2001-10-21 12:26:10 AM
sunday-times. yeah. whatever. i would be more likely to believe it if it came from ananova or pravda.
 
2001-10-21 12:26:53 AM
This is what happens when engineers play with tanning bed amperage...
 
2001-10-21 12:32:11 AM
Yet another innovation is a millimetre-wave ray, developed in the past 10 years at a cost of about $40m. It is intended to heat moisture in the outer skin enough to sting surrounding tissue like scalding water. It is said to cause no lasting damage.

"Stop where you are or I will be forced to microwave your ass!"
 
2001-10-21 12:32:15 AM
So, they basically microwave the enemy. Throw some velveeta out there before the attack and you could make nachos, too...
 
2001-10-21 12:34:12 AM
"Prepare to engage the enemy! Set phasers to 'Popcorn!'"
 
2001-10-21 12:39:41 AM
Meat, a microwave weapon can be made at home. I dont suggest trying it, but the beam in a microwave is scattered by a fan. Take the fan out and some shielding, a steady power source and you got yourself a microwave gun.

It's not as bullshiat as it sounds man, all it is is a microwave on a much more powerfull scale. Of couse other than a terror weapon, i dont see much use for it though. Bullets and shells do the job good enough.
 
2001-10-21 12:40:57 AM
LOL at X136!

But seriously, I'd pay to have a feature (like $20 annually) to have access to CSV/TSV/(other easily parsed database format) of all the fark a) Content/News Items b) Comments... for my own archival purposes of course. I just want to have access to Farkives at my fingertips, make notes of certain article, have favourites.. sort by tag(yum, boobies), archive postings by different people etc.
 
2001-10-21 12:50:55 AM
Call me a total geek if you wish, but I would kill to hear one of these weapons called "phasers." Private Smith -- lock on to that mass of Taliban troops and fire phasers. Oh yeah...

I just love this sort of thing. People are crapping themselves because the Taliban have AK-47s and some outdated barely running Russian equipment. Then we come in with full special forces, silent helicopters, state of the art shiznit, and now goddamn ENERGY weapons...

I would have already fallen asleep if I didn't so enjoy hearing about Taliban getting their asses kicked.
 
2001-10-21 12:53:17 AM
Hadoken!
 
2001-10-21 01:00:04 AM
cool. fry their asses. I hope that a bunker buster bomb hits bin Ladens cave and he is trapped, unable to move, with a couple of crushed legs, alone in the dark, no food or water or contact with any other people. May it be a prolonged and extremely agonizing death with no hint of honor.
 
2001-10-21 01:08:14 AM
US forces : "Throw down your weapons and surrender!"

Taliban : *looking around* "Who the hell? Alazid, was that you? What the hell was that?"

US forces : "This is your last warning!"

Taliban : *scratching head* "I need to get more sleep. I could of sworn I just heard... SWEET ALLAH MY SKIN IS ON FIRE!!!!"
 
2001-10-21 01:11:16 AM
Military scientists have also been working on a "reactive skin", enabling aircraft to change colour to blend into their background - a visual stealth to add to the radar and infrared kind already in place on the F-117A stealth fighter and the B-2A stealth bomber.

man, that is badass, our planes being able change color
 
2001-10-21 01:13:08 AM
Wouldnt it be funny if we found out Osama was dead, but he died from something totally unrelated?

Breaking News: Osama Bin Laden has died today from the flu.
 
2001-10-21 01:14:23 AM
A friend of mine who loads cargo planes mentioned sending out lots and lots of microwave and sonic weapons a couple of weeks ago.
 
2001-10-21 01:16:04 AM
The microwave gun was fun, but I used the freezer gun more because the shots bounced off walls.

But seriously, we should whip out the ol' BFG 9K and use it on their camping newbie asses.
 
2001-10-21 01:35:57 AM
america rules wrt quickly heated snacks

i am still getting bombed, goddamn you UN
 
2001-10-21 01:37:32 AM
They need to make a ray that gives people ass cancer.
 
2001-10-21 01:40:11 AM
you people need some more sleep.
let me warm up some milk for you with my microwave gun.
**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**
 
2001-10-21 01:43:10 AM
Plain ole bullets aren't good enough for the high tech taliban army issue armor?
 
2001-10-21 02:02:58 AM
Right now, I bet we could use potato guns on these knuckleheads.
 
2001-10-21 02:10:22 AM
Hell, we could probably defeat them with some
"Well, your mama's so ugly, that..." insults.
 
2001-10-21 02:12:38 AM
"Your mama's so ugly, she needs TWO bhurkas!"
 
2001-10-21 02:19:13 AM
Yo mama's so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of (pork) hot dogs!
 
2001-10-21 02:25:30 AM
Yo mama's so fat that when she sits around the mosque, she sits AROUND the mosque!
 
2001-10-21 02:33:02 AM
Yo mama's so fat, that when the Allied Forces come with the microwave guns, she whips out the Orville Redenbacher...
 
2001-10-21 02:37:51 AM
Yo mama's sooo fat........this picture is funny.

 
2001-10-21 02:42:44 AM
I give that two thumbs up!
 
2001-10-21 03:46:37 AM
ChiangKu_Dragon:

Yeah, I tried that "make your own microwave gun" thing a year ago. Worked pretty good, too, for a little while. My first target was a broken electric lantern, which melted quickly with a lot of gratifying sparks and flames. My next target was a big metal street sign, and by the time I managed to extinguish my hair and clothes the deathray had unfortunately reduced itself to slag. I'll probably stick to conventional weapons from now on, since my budget doesn't cover too many more microwave ovens or ER visits.
 
2001-10-21 04:58:02 AM
Microwave guns,the fun I could have with one of those.
Corn fields filled with popcorn.
Heh Heh...
 
2001-10-21 05:49:13 AM
I managed to start a microwave with the door open in electronics. Not a good thing, mind you, as your internal organs don't tell you they're being boiled. Safety first! Oh, I heard a story recently that people would leave open microwaves running, pointed at the sky, and occasionally one of the fighter jets flying over would chuck a missile at one. Family fun for everyone!
 
2001-10-21 05:49:49 AM
Addendum: This wasn't in the US, but one of those crazy countries where everyone has an assault rifle.
 
2001-10-21 06:36:06 AM
I swear to god, the army has been using their 'Drunken Laser' on me for years. Actually, it's not so bad.......... I get to stay sloppy drunk w/o getting a beer gut.
 
2001-10-21 08:09:17 AM
Don't make me break out the heat-seeking-moisture-missile, biatch.
ps, it cures ass cancer.
 
2001-10-21 08:38:29 AM
Raijin, sorry to come off as angry, but I'm tired of hearing that crap.

The power from a microwave is what, 1000 watts on average?

You're gonna need a HELLUVA lot higher power RF to signal a plane's RWR and targeting system equipment. A microwave simply WILL NOT show up to the pilot or the plane. Stop spreading stupid email urban legends.


Sorry.
 
2001-10-21 08:49:40 AM
Forgot to add:

Don't ever forget the law of inverse squares...

As distance from a source of radiant energy increases, the power of that energy decreases by the inverse square of the distance.

How high up is a plane?
 
2001-10-21 09:06:37 AM
I've used an AEGIS radar panel to pop popcorn before. Don't tell the AEGIS weenies!
 
2001-10-21 09:09:25 AM
The question is, will they have to uncloak the "reactive skin" helicopter before they can fire phasers?
 
2001-10-21 10:38:39 AM
Deus,
No really, its true.
 
2001-10-21 11:22:36 AM
Yeah, we might have super weapons, but you guys aren't taking into account the TALIBAN MK-ULTRA ANTI PERSONEL ATTACK DEVICE!!!!

 
2001-10-21 12:18:05 PM
Just in case you kids are planning on building your own microwave gun remember not to accidentally give off cancer inducing gamma rays now y'hear?

*gibbs goes back to building his railgun out of a length of drainpipe and some industrial magnets*
 
2001-10-21 12:23:41 PM
Apparently whenever we drop aid packages, people are reluctant to get anywhere near the boxes.

So why dont we just drop boxes filled with AOL cds all over the place.
 
2001-10-21 01:02:56 PM
Actually, old broken microwaves can usually be picked up for free if you ask at an appliance repair store. Just pull out the magnetron and the transformer and you're good to go.
 
2001-10-21 01:06:17 PM
Col.Panic,
You got that right.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ........
 
2001-10-21 01:17:24 PM
Didn't Nikola Tesla fry a small city half a planet away with a death ray he built in the 70s?
 
2001-10-21 01:25:27 PM
Ever heard of those sound-resonance crowd control things that make you lose control of your bowels?
"STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW OR WE WILL MAKE YOU POOP IN YOUR PANTS."
 
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