OMG that would be horrible? If you were trapped on the toilet for days where would you go to the bathroom? Oh. Nevermind.

Pud: According to medics, crews removed the woman from her home and she reportedly still had a piece of the toilet attached to her.

WTF??

I don't understand either. Even if the seat broke and her ass was seriously wedged in the bowl, she's only one good hit with a sledgehammer away from being freed.

Pud: According to medics, crews removed the woman from her home and she reportedly still had a piece of the toilet attached to her.

WTF??

Dried poo, it's God's glue.

The circumstances surrounding the incident remain under investigation

Fat old clumpy biatch sat on the commode and her cellulite folds combined with her massive gas releases suctioned her down. Case closed.

With handy pic of "What a toilet might look like."

Pud: According to medics, crews removed the woman from her home and she reportedly still had a piece of the toilet attached to her.

WTF??

I'll go out on a limb and have a guess that it was the seat. Well-written copy there, people.

h and Tioga? It's not just one person irretrievably stuck in a shiathole. It's the whole neighborhood.

cgraves67: FTFA:"File Photo Of Toilet"

Whew, thank god they included that. I had no idea what it was talking about, otherwise.

MsStatement: I like the helpful pic of what a toilet might look like.

FNG: With handy pic of "What a toilet might look like."

Well if this isn't a simulpost, I don't know what is...

Shiat! 2 days? I'm bringing my cellphone in the bathroom with me from now on.

/not fat
//or old
///slashies

Panty Sniffer: She forgot to put the seat down and was fat enough to wedge herself in the porcelein (however it is spelled) bowl.

That's what I thought at first, that they had removed the tank and unbolted the bowl and packed her out like that, because she was wedged in.

Then I thought, why? What can they do to free her at the hospital, after a humiliating and probably highly uncomfortable trip, that they can't do onsite? Do they have some sort of special forceps for this kind of job? A special lubricant? A specially constructed medical-grade shoe horn of some fashion?

The fire department already has all the requisite tools at their disposal. Put her and the bowl on it's side, jam the jaws of life into the drain hole, and crack that biatch open like an egg. Tada.

DaMoGan: Paris1127:
Well if this isn't a simulpost, I don't know what is...

Nope, it's a trimulpost.

Wasn't technically to the exact second, but I'll take it :)

degreeless: So I wonder if she was so skinny that her pelvis and butt slipped into the bowl with her legs cartoonishly sticking out at different angles - looking much like a hermit crab, or was she so morbidly obese that her ass and genitals formed a vacuum seal that she could not overcome.

You've never been to 15th and Tioga, have you?

degreeless: So I wonder if she was so skinny that her pelvis and butt slipped into the bowl with her legs cartoonishly sticking out at different angles - looking much like a hermit crab, or was she so morbidly obese that her ass and genitals formed a vacuum seal that she could not overcome.

I'm going for morbidly obese. She was probbaly only "stuck" on the toilet for about 6 hours - the other 32 were spent evacuating the prior week's buffet husks from her monstrous bowels.

Bacchus-ette: Not as funny when it could be your own.

You're right, it's funnier. When I hear about random people doing stupid crap, it's amusing. When a family member does it, it's hilarious.

Pud: According to medics, crews removed the woman from her home and she reportedly still had a piece of the toilet attached to her.

WTF??

Seriously though, why did the "reporter" find that detail necessary?

numbone: That's some bad luck right there, stuck in Philly and stuck in a toilet.

But you repeat yourself

I'm thinking the seat broke and a piece became embedded