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(twincities.com)   Legislator suggests state prisoners eat "a tablespoon of lard" instead of a meal to help trim the state's deficit   (twincities.com) divider line 97
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4597 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2003 at 3:54 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-08-04 08:08:01 AM  
Ellis apologized, but countered that inmates watch TV news, read newspapers and also are in contact with family members who are aware of the remark.

Imagine how much money they could save if the prisoners didn't have TVs, newspapers, or family visits.
 
2003-08-04 09:07:47 AM  
Is a tablespoon of lard equivalent to a stick of butter?

Think Last Tango in Paris.
 
2003-08-04 09:08:53 AM  
Doesn't lard make a great lubricant? Just think about it.
 
2003-08-04 09:28:52 AM  
"Legislator suggests state prisoners eat "a tablespoon of lard" instead of a meal to help trim the state's deficit"

Prisioners suggest legislator eat a tablespoon shank... repeatedly.
 
2003-08-04 09:33:13 AM  
Well, seriously. Why should inmates get to live it up with TV, Newspapers, etc.? I mean, you're in prison. Prison should suck -immensely-.. then perhaps there would be more incentive to not go back there, and to stay away in the first place. The fringe benefit of more "simplified" prison life would be the lower cost to maintain for cash-strapped states.

Reopen Alcatraz!
 
2003-08-04 10:23:32 AM  
"Put your trust in the Lard, your ass belongs to me"
 
2003-08-04 11:32:12 AM  
This guy has the right idea.
 
2003-08-04 12:46:36 PM  
while prisoners do need to eat...they spend more per day then I do!

I can eat on less then $1 a day. But it's cost 3 something to feed them.
 
2003-08-04 12:51:43 PM  
Ramen noodles. 8 pkgs for a dollar. That and boil-n-bag pouches over rice.... mmmmmmmm...

That got me through 4 years at Memphis State.
 
2003-08-04 01:53:46 PM  
Let them eat cake.
 
2003-08-04 02:03:59 PM  
Reluctantly crouched at the starting line, engines pumping, thumping in time...
 
2003-08-04 03:46:00 PM  
Damn government. The majority of what they do is unneccesary and instead of trying to cut that the first thing they suggest is something that people would be opposed to doing, like starving prisoners, or cutting the police salary, or something equally ridiculous. They don't want to balance the budget. They want to continue increasing it for the sole purpose of maintaining and increasing their own power.
 
2003-08-04 03:55:37 PM  
mmmmmyummy.....
 
2003-08-04 03:56:13 PM  
These people are going to get of prison someday. If you deprive them of everything and starve them, they'll come out of prison worse than they came into prison.

I wonder how many of the people in said prison are there on non-violent drug offenses.
 
2003-08-04 03:56:20 PM  
Why don't we just go ahead and kill all of our prisoners, regardless of the crime. Dead men eat no meals. Sheesh.
 
2003-08-04 03:56:32 PM  
let them grow their own food
 
2003-08-04 03:57:36 PM  
 
2003-08-04 04:00:00 PM  
I gotta agree with killing them all. What's the difference? (You weren't being sarcasitc, were you?)
 
2003-08-04 04:00:01 PM  
HERO tag needed. In fact let those inmates survive by feeder on the weakest of them
 
2003-08-04 04:00:07 PM  
Maybe this Ellis guy can save even more money if all the prisoners just ate tossed salads.
 
2003-08-04 04:00:29 PM  
Here's an idea: Stop sending so many people to prison! Reserve it for dangerous criminals. I have no problem with inmates having good food and tv and newspapers. No matter how many luxeries you add, you can not change the fact that prison is prison and you can never leave. Thats bad enough. We're all sinners and the farkin republican nazis are worse than many of the lower class that they would like to see locked up.
 
2003-08-04 04:01:29 PM  
 
2003-08-04 04:02:31 PM  
Better than a tablesoon of Olestra.
 
2003-08-04 04:02:51 PM  
GENKI- people in prison can never leave? I'll be...had no idea. No one gets out? Tell me more!
 
2003-08-04 04:02:54 PM  
Psst...Don't eat the lard. It's spoiled
 
2003-08-04 04:03:51 PM  
Let most of them out. Most of them are in there, i'm sure, for innocuous "crimes" such as "possession of marijuana."
 
2003-08-04 04:04:05 PM  
You are right though, no one EVER was put in prison when the democrats had the power. Farkin Republicans!
 
2003-08-04 04:04:24 PM  
Dead on genki831.

Until we get the prison population down to a manageable level, our prisons are just massive storage facilities instead of the CORRECTIONAL facilities they're supposed to be. If we stop sending every low-class, minority, 3rd-strike offender to the state pen for 5-10 maybe we'd be able to offer some rehabilitation to these guys.
 
2003-08-04 04:05:08 PM  
I have a great idea to save money, stop prosecuting drug offenses, ou will clear out half the prisoners. You will save millions of dollars
 
2003-08-04 04:05:45 PM  
Moe, Moe, Moe. Don't you remember?

"You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever. And when they get back in, I'll be out on the street! With all my criminal buddies!"
 
2003-08-04 04:05:58 PM  
Sorry Moe Sizlack, I forgot this was fark and I have to spell everything out as if it were for a child. They can never get out until their sentence is served. Unless of course they are in for life.
 
2003-08-04 04:06:55 PM  
Enough of this Democrat-Republican crap.

More and more private companies are taking over prisions. What do private companies want to do? Make a profit of course. What do you need to grow? More facilities. What do you need? More prisioners locked up.

What a vicious cycle. They side with the Republicans but the Democrats do not clean up the messes. Soon we will have the entire lower class locked up eating lard. :(
 
2003-08-04 04:08:07 PM  
Well, I can tell you I ate better than I had in years when I was in the clink.

I don't miss the atmosphere, but the Rutherford county workhouse could make some great fried chicken.

I agree with genki831, Lock up people for violent crimes, but find some other way to deal with the others.
 
2003-08-04 04:08:25 PM  
*cough* my profile *cough*
 
2003-08-04 04:08:38 PM  
I know prison is supposed to be bad, but it's also meant to keep the prisoners as functional members of society.

You can't do that on a spoon of lard a day.

The more people excuse prison cutbacks with "prison is supposed to be unpleasent", the more problems there are going to be IN the prison.

(of course, then again, some people commit crimes just to get sent to prison so they can get three squares a day...so that's maybe a larger problem)
 
2003-08-04 04:08:44 PM  
ELWOOD..haha, NNNNOOOOO!!!!!

GENKI-OH, I get it. You sir...oh nevermind. I'm just making fun of your over the top rant....you are obviously extremely intelligent. Thank you for taking the time to edumacate me.
 
2003-08-04 04:08:44 PM  
The repubs and the dems are really just the same evil, but the repubs aren't pretending anymore.
 
2003-08-04 04:09:37 PM  
This isn't really a full-blown partisan issue. Both parties are guilty of using "we're hard on crime" as a trivial bargaining chip come campaign time. "Look how many people we arrested last year, see? We're tough on crime!"

No, you're tough on the state's budget, you're tough on state sponsored programs for people in need, and you're tough on rehabilitation...crime goes on uninterrupted.
 
2003-08-04 04:09:52 PM  
I actually had forgotten that, Elwood. Good line.
 
2003-08-04 04:09:59 PM  
"Who wants a hot steaming cup of lard in the morning?"\
-some movie quote
 
2003-08-04 04:10:17 PM  
Matt: Hi Jake.
Jake: Matt, how you doing?
Matt: Hi Elwood. How ya doing? How was Joliet?
Jake: Oh it was bad. Thursday night they'd serve a wicked pepper steak.
Matt: Can't be as bad as the cabbage roll at the Terra Haute Federal Pen.
Elwood: Or that oatmeal at the Cook County slammer.
Matt: Well, they're all pretty bad.
 
2003-08-04 04:10:21 PM  
Over half of the people in prision in my state are there for marijuana.

Nice waste of tax dollars, government.
 
2003-08-04 04:11:47 PM  
Moe, you call that an over the top rant? I call that short and to the point. Just you wait until I'm drunk.
 
2003-08-04 04:17:51 PM  
O.K., over the top, no. Perhaps exagerated is a better word.
 
2003-08-04 04:18:52 PM  
In 50\/ie+ ru$$ia, the gruel eats you.
 
2003-08-04 04:19:24 PM  
Some creative solutions that I doubt gov't would embrace.

1) Work for your food. Seriously. Instead of paying the prisoners to work in any shop for a quarter and hour, make them pay for the food they eat. Don't work. Don't eat.

2) Serve them less meat, and more veg/fruits/carbs. Meat costs money.

3) Have the prisoners family help support them in prison. A bill is sent every month for them to be in prision. Hey, I get a bill once a year to help pay for education, road maintainance etc...

4) Decriminalize marijuna. Not much explaination needed...

5) Send the worst offenders to Alaska/Yukon (for Canada) to work in the mines/oil fields. You're not much of a flight risk in the middle of no where.

/you talk now.
 
2003-08-04 04:24:40 PM  
lard?

aren't french fries just containers for the stuff?

if you give 'em lard in french fries they'll eat it up and love it. sounds like someone just wants to make them feel bad about it instead. how about COLD french fries? i'd prefer a spoonful of lard.

feed them beans instead. better for mental health AND they can punicsh themselves with the by-products.

oh, wait, they could also punish their keepers as well.
 
2003-08-04 04:25:32 PM  
Here's an idea: Stop sending so many people to prison! Reserve it for dangerous criminals. I have no problem with inmates having good food and tv and newspapers. No matter how many luxeries you add, you can not change the fact that prison is prison and you can never leave. Thats bad enough. We're all sinners and the farkin republican nazis are worse than many of the lower class that they would like to see locked up.

I'm going to use my handy Paranoid-Rambling Freak decoder ring to try and make some sense of this post:

Blah-blah-blah Republicans eat babies!! Blah-blah it's a conspiracy to lock up the poor by the government fatcats, nevermind they commit crimes!! Blahity-blah-blah-blah product of society!! Blah-blah-blah I offer no real solutions but cannot get enough of the sound of my own voice complaining and MUST make everything into a political issue!!! Blah-blah-blah did I mention that Republicans eat babies!!!.
 
2003-08-04 04:26:37 PM  
SadDad
3) Have the prisoners family help support them in prison.

Yup, prisoners' families...that's where the real money is!
 
2003-08-04 04:29:32 PM  
150k a year per prisoner
30 k a year per low income child for after school programs

do the math

wait- that would be social welfare and we wouldn't get cops on sat night- nevermind.
 
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