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(Toledo Blade)   Intoxicated man gets out of car, jumps into river, decides to take clothes off, walks out of river, gets hit by car. His buddies then beat the crap out of him   (toledoblade.com) divider line 49
    More: Dumbass  
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15161 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2003 at 1:00 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
darkhorse23
2003-08-03 11:40:38 PM
And deservedly so.
 
Ku_No_Ichi [TotalFark]
2003-08-04 12:20:06 AM
I didn't know the toledo blade had it's own tag.
 
Serenity106
2003-08-04 01:07:04 AM
i wish i was one of his friends so i couldve joined...
oh ya...hemphreysrevenge... hilarious...i agree
 
PlaidKing
2003-08-04 01:07:52 AM
Well, that's a bad day.
 
Thwapwhacket
2003-08-04 01:09:28 AM
How did "His companions then forced him back into the car he had gotten out of." become "His buddies then beat the crap out of him."??
 
Cudasocket
2003-08-04 01:10:31 AM
"admitted to using illegal substances"?
Are we talking psilocin, THC, or DMT?
 
SirSuperSouthern
2003-08-04 01:11:28 AM
Why can't I ever find drugs that'll make me go insane? I'm gonna call my dealer and demand all the $ I've ever spent on drugs back.
 
spiffy_marc
2003-08-04 01:11:34 AM
...the headline says it all?
 
skinink
2003-08-04 01:14:18 AM
Hehe, you people in the Toledo area sure know how to have a good time.
 
whiskeyinthejar
2003-08-04 01:14:28 AM
I did that once
 
SpinalTapp
2003-08-04 01:16:16 AM
nothing like a little good old fashioned vigilante justice.
 
Sidi
2003-08-04 01:19:21 AM
Still not the best drunk story. From the Daily Evergeen police log...I think I can remember the exact phrasing.

"An extremely intoxicated man tried to convey to officers that two men got into his vehicle and forced him to crash it. They then asked whether he had any money and ran away."
 
JohnnyontheSpot
2003-08-04 01:19:51 AM
Is it just me or are there alot of articles about naked guys getting beaten?
 
Epsilon
2003-08-04 01:21:17 AM
With a headline like that I don't even need to read the story. I know everything that happened.
 
State_College_Arsonist
2003-08-04 01:22:51 AM
I guess he probably had to admit to the "illegal substances" since nothing on this magnitude of stupidity happens without some kind of, um, chemical prompting.
 
SGF
2003-08-04 01:22:52 AM
They should hook this guy up with the dog that was hit by a car, shot in the head, and half frozen in a freezer -- and made a full recovery
 
Sidi
2003-08-04 01:23:01 AM
Epsilon actually, you don't know...because his friends didn't beat him up. They just shoved him back in the car so they could get the hell out of there.
 
JonathanTaylorThomas
2003-08-04 01:25:10 AM
I would have beat him up if he was my friend.
 
Burning_Sensation
2003-08-04 01:26:17 AM
He should be glad its not winter now.
 
SGF
2003-08-04 01:26:40 AM
friends don't let friends drive naked
 
Ku_No_Ichi [TotalFark]
2003-08-04 01:28:15 AM
Sounds like he was the designated diver.
 
nonsignor
2003-08-04 01:29:22 AM
So I won the bet right?

Now wheres my five bucks!
 
rancidPlasma
2003-08-04 01:32:50 AM
My dad keeps on telling me that's how I was conceived.. exact same story!
 
Guy Incognito
2003-08-04 01:33:26 AM
wow - i finally submitted enough toledo blade articles to the point where it got its own logo on FARK.
 
womdinmypants
2003-08-04 01:37:58 AM
Um, when exactly did his friends beat the crap out of him at in this article???
 
Githerax
2003-08-04 01:38:00 AM
Wow, they accidently posted a gorgeous picture on Fark Personals.

Hubba hubba, old skool.
 
FunkyMonk
2003-08-04 01:55:33 AM
Wow, I'm like an hour from the happenings. (from defiance, you remember, the town where the mayor had all that porn on the computers!) My cousin was telling me it was one of his friends who was with that guy, I might get more info, not that this is too interesting of a story...I also just felt like posting something...la la la

SPOON!
 
EviLincoln [TotalFark]
2003-08-04 01:58:06 AM
I love going up to the redneck riviera (Lake Erie) and watching the hicks run amok. Next time a good article comes up about how many hicks die in Lake Erie learning that alcohol and undertows don't mix I'll try to post it.
 
ToStupidTooCare
2003-08-04 01:59:51 AM
The man, whose name was withheld pending charges,

me thinks the name probably rhymes with "Eddie Bennedy"...
 
CongressionalSenator
2003-08-04 02:03:25 AM
I wonder if the submitter purposefully creates a "headline" that is not 100% in agreement with the actual story so that those who DO read the story can chortle in amusement at the buffoons commenting upon what they do not even read?
 
SirSuperSouthern
2003-08-04 02:21:29 AM
Hot damn! I've always wanted to tell a CongressionalSenator to STFU!
 
REDARMYVODKA
2003-08-04 02:22:42 AM
oh darwin, why doest thou not let thee asshat be struck more severely?

Stupid people make baby Jeebus cry.
 
gotsumovies
2003-08-04 02:23:47 AM
the ultimate chinese fire drill gone completely awry.
 
reggaejunkiejew
2003-08-04 02:24:17 AM
Salami is tasty
 
Rowlf
2003-08-04 02:31:07 AM
"admitted to using illegal substances"?
Are we talking psilocin, THC, or DMT?

WMDs?

Sorry... it's late.
 
Outlaw2097
2003-08-04 02:34:23 AM
looks like someone fell off the beagle

/pointless darwin comment...
 
Scrumtrulecent
2003-08-04 02:43:13 AM
Ahh, that old chestnut
 
Artamnesia
2003-08-04 03:08:21 AM
Where was the bit about this friends beating him? Has the article been edited since posting....or just some creative license with the headline?
 
Anti_Freak_Machine [TotalFark]
2003-08-04 03:47:51 AM
In the far off land of 'Hawaii', we call this:
"Guy out with his friends for the weekend"
 
Lalalala
2003-08-04 05:42:55 AM
Well, at least he didn't wake up in a stranger's yard two miles from home.

/sulks off in embarassment
 
OregonVet [TotalFark]
2003-08-04 09:01:58 AM
Guy:

Yeah, I submit a lot from The Blade too. But even tho I submitted this exact link (and had no 'bad kitty' message), it appeared with a slightly different headline and someone else took the credit. I wish I were a mod and could then run up my submissions and look like some sort of FARK god at other's expense.

Oh well. At least it got posted.
 
mkipf
2003-08-04 09:38:24 AM
I missed it. I was just up the road at Cedar Point while this was happening.
 
pussycat
2003-08-04 10:01:49 AM
Wow...nice tagline. Didn't even have to read the article. Thanks!
 
Mordrec
2003-08-04 10:16:17 AM
Ok let me clear something up about this story. When we say "His companions then forced him back into the car he had gotten out of." In Toledo this is our polite way of saying that his friends beat the everloving crap out of him until he got back in the car.

Toledo (born and raised!)
 
Nightsweat
2003-08-04 11:14:35 AM
The illegal substance he used - bootleg videotapes. Strange but true.
 
StockCars4Rednecks
2003-08-04 11:37:33 AM
Reminds me of "Reefer Madness"
 
SGF
2003-08-04 11:55:27 AM
The real problem Mary-Jo, his date, is stll missing.....

/theorising in a conspiratorial way
 
psilophunk
2003-08-04 07:31:57 PM
Sounds like a tweaker who's been up for a few days.... sleep-depravation gotta love it.
 
Not-a-Girl
2003-08-05 01:01:33 AM
Here's the link, as if it even bloody mattered any more.
 
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