I remember hearing about the vodka-tampon a couple years back.

New hotness? Hardly.

This is a rising trend among opossums:


/hot, like the link

Jack31081: I remember hearing about the vodka-tampon a couple years back.

New hotness? Hardly.

Hell, wasn't it a 30 Rock joke a few years back?

Now this thing about banana peels, that's what I'm worried about.

Natural vinegar douche gives new meaning to the phrase "She's a little tart."

Thank you and R.I.P. Mr. Ducomun

Girls were doing that when I was in college in the early 90s.

Dried out the vag.

Here, baby, let me get you buzzed without your parents knowing. Really. No strings attached.

Jack31081: I remember hearing about the vodka-tampon a couple years back.

New hotness? Hardly.

Indeed. This was hot once, now room temperature.

using tampons soaked in vodka to get drunk quickly and hide the smell.

Tunatini?

"Alcohol is no longer a stimulant." Nice. Good to know I will no longer get wired and stay up all night talking about stupid shiat when I drink too much alcohol.

Life saving tip:

If you are stranded in the ocean with no fresh water, repeated sea water enemas can help you to keep somewhat hydrated!

The more you know.

FTA: "Alcohol is no longer a stimulant, but a means to an end," he said."

Yeah, and that end is to get you stimulated.

Meh, my office-mate told me about a friend of his who he saw stumbling around the Cornell campus one time really early in the morning (they both went to Cornell). Apparently his friend had an incredibly blood-shot, bulging eye... because he'd taken acid via his eyeball.


I'd prefer the tampon in my ass.

Kangaroo_Ralph: Girls were doing that when I was in college in the early 90s.

Dried out the vag.

That's why you add your special sauce.

ZAZ: Boys have reportedly also been using tampons anally.

Unlike the vagina, the colon is designed to absorb liquids into the body.

This was an episode of SVU recently.

Vodka Vagini?

halfof33: Life saving tip:

If you are stranded in the ocean with no fresh water, repeated sea water enemas can help you to keep somewhat hydrated!

The more you know.

Yes, because everyone carries enema bulbs around with them on high seas adventures.

skinink: "Some Facebook groups are even devoted to exchanging tips on the topic, complete with how-to videos and instructions. "
For your viewing pleasure.

Not a bookmark.

Ladies, I have the perfect swizzle stick.

Paris1127: elvisaintdead: Langston: brap: Tampax is responding to market demand by bringing a horseradish, olive, celery salt, lemon, and worstershire tampon to market.

Worst. Bloody Mary. Evar.

*smacks lips repeatedly* Needs clam juice.

It'll get that when it's inserted.

Best body shots ever!

Depressants are no longer stimulants. Finally!

Know all about tampons up the butt.

I remember one of my dumbass college roommates talking about this around '94, so not so new. Now you've made me think about him and his annoying friends and I'm feeling irritated. So, thanks for that.

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Jack31081: I remember hearing about the vodka-tampon a couple years back.

New hotness? Hardly.

Hell, wasn't it a 30 Rock joke a few years back?

Now this thing about banana peels, that's what I'm worried about.

Not sure about 30 Rock, but it was mentioned in a CSI episode.

This sounds painful.

Police in southern Germany warned this week of a dangerous new form of alcohol abuse among teens - using tampons soaked in vodka to get drunk quickly and hide the smell.

If your vagina smells so bad you need to get it drunk, you might be a German.

Marla Singer's Laundry: halfof33: Life saving tip:

If you are stranded in the ocean with no fresh water, repeated sea water enemas can help you to keep somewhat hydrated!

The more you know.

Yes, because everyone carries enema bulbs around with them on high seas adventures.

I take it you haven't read "The Greek Seaman".

This is not true, police said, denying that it was an effective way to get drunk.

In early March a 14-year-old girl collapsed during a street festival in Konstanz, apparently highly intoxicated from using a vodka tampon

So is it effective, or not?

Porous Horace: Marla Singer's Laundry: halfof33: Life saving tip:

If you are stranded in the ocean with no fresh water, repeated sea water enemas can help you to keep somewhat hydrated!

The more you know.

Yes, because everyone carries enema bulbs around with them on high seas adventures.

I take it you haven't read "The Greek Seaman".

Hypnotically coffee?

Savage Bacon: FTA: "Alcohol is no longer a stimulant, but a means to an end," he said."

Yeah, and that end is to get you stimulated.


Use enough, and you won't know which end is up.

Why would anyone suck vodka from a tampon? Seems like it
Would be easier to use a shot glass...

NEUPhD: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Jack31081: I remember hearing about the vodka-tampon a couple years back.

New hotness? Hardly.

Hell, wasn't it a 30 Rock joke a few years back?

Now this thing about banana peels, that's what I'm worried about.

Not sure about 30 Rock, but it was mentioned in a CSI episode.

yep, 30 rock too, video and eeeeverything

puckrock2000: So is it effective, or not?

Oh, yeah it's effective. It's also a great way to discover what a lethal blood alcohol level is.

At least if you drink and you overdo it, you have a chance of throwing up and ejecting the alcohol from your stomach so you don't absorb more.

Other methods that get alcohol into your bloodstream by inhaling or absorbing via a mucus membrane give you no options to reduce your blood alcohol level except by letting your liver and kidneys work. Make friends with a pharmacy major so he can calculate your dosage for "good time" rather than "extra on ER".

Marla Singer's Laundry:
Yes, because everyone carries enema bulbs around with them on high seas adventures.

I do.... it is called my penis, hence the well known expression:

"Please Pee In My Butt, the life you save may be your own."

Hoochee-mama!

Looks like she's got her's ready to go.



(hot like the link)

Jubeebee: Boys have reportedly also been using tampons anally.

There have got to be better ways for a high schooler to get drunk at school than that. Whatever happened to playing brass in the band and filling the spit valve with liquor?

*aghast face*

Jesus. This thread started off gross and just went downhill from there.

Outlaw Thirds: http://www.thelocal.de/society/20110330-34051.html?soundsfun

YES! I was wondering if anyone else caught that. None of the other links on the site have any "descriptor" text in the actual link.

I love it!

Yeah, but gin would give you a nice woodsy aroma.

theflatline: I mean wanted to get drunk or high should not having thing to do with your terd cutter or your hoo ha.

I'm guessing it's drinking time where you are.

Jack31081: I remember hearing about the vodka-tampon a couple years back.

New hotness? Hardly.

Agreed. old news.

Under the right circumstances it is a truly authentic bloody mary.

This would never work, I'd have to eat like 30 of them.

Bieber soaked in vodka?

As submitter, I should be proud to get my third greenlight. However, I'm quite disappointed for two reasons: Firstly, that my headline is a lame cliche (about the fifth new hotness headline on the main page today) and secondly, the headline was edited to remove the phrase "shoved up your twot".

In other words; I submitted this with a better headline.

Dude! WTF is wrong with German people?

I've known some girls that have the same alcohol content of vodak in their bloodstream, so I'm not that surprised.

brigid_fitch: Jack31081: I remember hearing about the vodka-tampon a couple years back.

New hotness? Hardly.

So did I and it was debunked. Something about vaginal tissue being non-absorptive, I think.

It's a matter of weight ratios.

A tampon could hold like HALF a shot, at most. Now an enema of alcohol can be uniquely "fast", but does not change the volume of alcohol needed to get a specific BAC. You could not get drunk off this.

Nor would it be "fast" like an enema, as the alcohol will be very slow to leech out, and most of it would remain in the tampon. Which is for the best, since the alcohol-enema stunt would BURN LIKE HELL with liquor-proof alcohols.

The large intestinal lining which does the absorption ends before the rectum. Putting a tampon in the rectum should not even readily cause absorption into the blood since it's in the wrong place. Same with vagina.

I rember the Mythbusters did a special on uses of Vodka, perhaps they could expand their testing to see just how many STD's Vodka can kill?

and any excuse to post picts of KB...

What do you add with that, bearded clamato?

epoc_tnac: As submitter, I should be proud to get my third greenlight. However, I'm quite disappointed for two reasons: Firstly, that my headline is a lame cliche (about the fifth new hotness headline on the main page today) and secondly, the headline was edited to remove the phrase "shoved up your twot".

In other words; I submitted this with a better headline.

The headline was edited because you spelled "twat" wrong.

Yeah, you could get drunk on it if you did them one after another. Your breath would smell like alcohol to a breathalyzer, but to people probably about the same as if you just drank the vodka.

The instant absorption straight to your blood makes it dangerous, especially if you decide to take alcohol both by mouth and by...er...suppository.

It'd be more effective to douche with it--and more dangerous.

Kinky people have known forever that the vag will absorb substances into the bloodstream---which is why most people consider that too dangerous to play with.

Also, it's a caution against using rubbing alcohol to make someone feel the burn--it's just like drinking the stuff. Same with denatured alcohol. The stuff in denatured alcohol that gives you extreme gastric distress if you drink it gives you gastric distress if you take too much of it in through mucous membranes.

Sadists use alcohol (among other things) on masochists because it hurts. Duh.

For the kids who are doing this, dabbling in kink has got to be part of the appeal.

jaybeezey: Outlaw Thirds: http://www.thelocal.de/society/20110330-34051.html?soundsfun

YES! I was wondering if anyone else caught that. None of the other links on the site have any "descriptor" text in the actual link.

I love it!

Meh. Try this...

http://www.thelocal.de/society/20110330-34051.html?smells_like_a_fart (pops)

...or try your own text behind the question mark. Same shiat.

Subby may have used it because the original URL was already redlit. Old trick on Fark.

Mmmmm...

FTA:
"Alcohol is no longer a stimulant, but a means to an end," he said.

I'm pretty sure alcohol was never a stimulant.

I had to look this up, because I doubt you can get enough booze into a tampon to even catch a buzz.

Regular absorbency - 6 to 9 grams
Super absorbency - 9 to 12 grams
Super plus absorbency - 12 to 15 grams
Ultra absorbency - 15 to 18 grams

16 grams = 0.564383 oz

You can get a half-ounce of liquid into a biggie tampon. What's a shot of alcohol, an ounce and a half? I guess one ounce would give you a slight buzz, if you never drink. But as someone who uses tampons, they don't absorb that much liquid. I don't think you could even get a shot of alcohol into a maxi tampon, even if my math is farked up.

I don't believe this story and think it's an urban legend. Now I'm going to go smoke some banana peels, I hear they will faaarrrrkk you up.

puckrock2000: epoc_tnac: As submitter, I should be proud to get my third greenlight. However, I'm quite disappointed for two reasons: Firstly, that my headline is a lame cliche (about the fifth new hotness headline on the main page today) and secondly, the headline was edited to remove the phrase "shoved up your twot".

In other words; I submitted this with a better headline.

The headline was edited because you spelled "twat" wrong.

Man, imagine mispelling "twat". I would die of embarassment.

I get my Southern Comfort alcohol buzz the old fashion way.
I snort it!

good ole fashion "tastes like rubbing alcohol" vodka, check
fruit flavored vodka, check
bacon flavored vodka, check
fish flavored vodka!?

Recreational sex + my cooter = microscopic tears
Alcohol + microscopic tears in the cooter = OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

(insert do not want .jpg here)

Why is drinking vodka no longer an option?

TheShavingofOccam123: puckrock2000: epoc_tnac: As submitter, I should be proud to get my third greenlight. However, I'm quite disappointed for two reasons: Firstly, that my headline is a lame cliche (about the fifth new hotness headline on the main page today) and secondly, the headline was edited to remove the phrase "shoved up your twot".

In other words; I submitted this with a better headline.

The headline was edited because you spelled "twat" wrong.

Man, imagine mispelling "twat". I would die of embarassment.

I thought twot would be acceptable in a headline though. As in "I kicked her in the fecking twot, and a bloody mary dribbled out of her kant. The betch must've been doing that vodka tampon shet again."

puckrock2000: epoc_tnac: As submitter, I should be proud to get my third greenlight. However, I'm quite disappointed for two reasons: Firstly, that my headline is a lame cliche (about the fifth new hotness headline on the main page today) and secondly, the headline was edited to remove the phrase "shoved up your twot".

In other words; I submitted this with a better headline.

The headline was edited because you spelled "twat" vodak wrong.

Whoopy Doo!

I know a chick that injects needle in the vein of her coont because all the veins in her arms, between her fingers have collapsed.

alcoholics have long known that you can get drunk with enemas when your stomach lining has fallen out

dready zim: alcoholics have long known that you can get drunk with enemas when your stomach lining has fallen out

Or if you want to show up to work drunk but not have the smell of booze on your breath.

/or so I've heard

"Boys have reportedly also been using tampons anally."

What high school boys would 'fess up to that? And at that point, wouldn't sniffing glue seem like a viable alternative?

i tried Always, then Always with wings, even Cherokee hair. then I read this and found out that you have to use tampons---boy do i feel dumb and not drunk.

danny_kay: So if you soak a tampon in a relevant amount of vodak, you get a big squishy mass of cotton that should be rather difficult to insert vaginally or even anally.

EVEN anally? So in your experience it's easier to jam something up a butt than to insert into a vagina? Feel free to elaborate...

came for


/leaving happy
//but it bears repeating
///bears repeating
///bears repeating
///bears repeating
///bears repeating
///bears repeating

cryinoutloud: I had to look this up, because I doubt you can get enough booze into a tampon to even catch a buzz.

Regular absorbency - 6 to 9 grams
Super absorbency - 9 to 12 grams
Super plus absorbency - 12 to 15 grams
Ultra absorbency - 15 to 18 grams

16 grams = 0.564383 oz

You can get a half-ounce of liquid into a biggie tampon. What's a shot of alcohol, an ounce and a half? I guess one ounce would give you a slight buzz, if you never drink. But as someone who uses tampons, they don't absorb that much liquid. I don't think you could even get a shot of alcohol into a maxi tampon, even if my math is farked up.

I don't believe this story and think it's an urban legend. Now I'm going to go smoke some banana peels, I hear they will faaarrrrkk you up.

A fluid ounce is a unit of volume, and a gram is a unit of mass.

The density of pure ethanol is 0.789 g/mL, so 18g of pure ethanol would be 14.202mL = 0.480 fluid oz.

A 100-proof drink would be about 0.895 g/mL, so 18g of 100-proof liquor would be about 16.11mL = 0.545 fluid ounces.

I think the error in your mathematics is your assumption about the absorbency of tampons. 18g is likely only the point at which a menstruating woman would feel compelled to take the tampon out due to discomfort or leakage. I imagine tampons can absorb vastly more than that, and if your intent is to become intoxicated, discomfort and leakage aren't likely to be limiting factors.

On the other hand, absorption per rectum is probably more efficient (per unit alchohol) at producing inebriation than per os, since the lower rectum and anus are drained by the inferior rectal veins, which ultimately drain into the inferior vena cava, bypassing first-pass metabolism by the liver. Then again, you're working against the enormous absorptive capacity of the small intestine, so P/O is undoubtedly much more efficient per unit time.

Someone remind me why I'm even thinking about this?

Actually, ethanol has a fantastic absorption rate via mucosa. And gentleman, the vagina is one huge mucus organ... so therefore the absorption rate is pretty great, and then when you combine it with it bypassing the first pass (aka straight into the bloodstream and bypassing the liver) you have a quick intoxication that takes less alcohol.

It's not bullshiat, it's pretty legit.

/pharmacy major

halfof33: Life saving tip:

If you are stranded in the ocean with no fresh water, repeated sea water enemas can help you to keep somewhat hydrated!

The more you know.

If this is true I've learnt something awesome today

Momzilla59: Recreational sex + my cooter = microscopic tears

Maybe you need to use more lube?

I have actually heard of a drink called a Bloody Tampon.
Enjoy.

Gawdzila: I have actually heard of a drink called a Bloody Tampon.
Enjoy.

v8 mixed with baileys?!?!?!? blech!!

sounds absolutely horrid

Bloody Tampon Cocktail Recipe
Category: Vodka recipes


Ingredients : - 1 1/2 oz whisky (whiskey,bourbon...)
- 1/2 oz lemon juice
- 1 1/2 oz tequila
- 1 1/2 oz vodka
- 1 oz vegetable juice (v8)
- 1 oz irish cream (bailey's)

------------------------------------------------------------------Use a "In glass" for Bloody Tampon drink recipe

Mix Yukon Jack, tequila, and vodka (all chilled) in a cocktail glass. Add room temperature V-8 tomato juice without mixing. Strain irish cream on top and then splash with lemon juice to curdle giving drink a cotton-like texture.
Serve in "Cocktail Glass" Garnish: No

aww hayle nah!