Pastor charged with sexual battery

Sexual Battery. "D" Cells that power your a vibrator.

Is anyone even surprised anymore? I think the Obvious tag would have worked just as well here.

Edwards said the sexual conduct did not include intercourse, or any other act that would constitute a felony charge.

Heavy petting and a purple nurple?

Hey! Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, really can serve a purpose!

- Lloyd Christmas

/don't you go dying on me!

Give him the chair.

Better yet:

ChiWhiteSox_56: Is anyone even surprised anymore?

I was surprised. It wasn't a prepubescent boy.

Repressed sexuality expressing itself through deviant means or just an old perv?

Hard to say.

FirstNationalBastard: In his defense, he originally thought he was just rubbing her knees.

I chuckled

I think in semenary school they should teach them strategies on not getting caught.

Honestly, how often is a disabled nursing home resident gonna get laid?
Public service.

doubled99: Honestly, how often is a disabled nursing home resident gonna get laid?
Public service.


Nursing homes are basically geriatric swingers clubs. It's both heartwarming (to know that you can still get some when you're 80) and icky (cuz 80 year old people having sex is just ewww)

SnakeLee: Snapper Carr: Repressed sexuality expressing itself through deviant means or just an old perv?

Hard to say.

Wait can pastors have sex? Are they not supposed to masturbate either? Has anybody tried not doing either for more than like 5 days? It isn't pleasant.

Pastor usually implies Protestant. They are allowed to marry, and married people are allowed teh sex. Now sex outside of marriage is still a no no.

So in his case, no. And no. Flogging the Bishop is a no no too.

"He stuck his glory pole up my pee hole and squirted salvation over my butt hole, hallelujah"

Salvation comes from within

....FROM WITHIN YOUR MOUTH, RETARD!!

Ready-made defense: Ya see your Honor, I'm a man of the cloth and I was just administering "the laying on of hands".

You know a molester has low self esteem when a retarded old man is the highest they aim for.

Have you seen my baseballs?

So, between blaming gays, muslims and abortions, pastors still have time for this?

/who knew.

There was a time when I would be content knowing this person will burn in hell. Now I just feel sad knowing that the jokes on the people who actually believe in religion.

Snapper Carr: doubled99: Honestly, how often is a disabled nursing home resident gonna get laid?
Public service.


Nursing homes are basically geriatric swingers clubs. It's both heartwarming (to know that you can still get some when you're 80) and icky (cuz 80 year old people having sex is just ewww)


I know a person that majored in Gerontology. She was a director of a large nursing home. And you are correct. She old me about a couple in their 80's that could not stay off each other. A large young, highly religious orderly caught them in the act and freaked out. He was so upset he could hardly describe the incident. He ended up quitting because he kept walking in on them. It was one of the funniest stories I've heard.

Too young

I suppose as long as they weren't dancing it's all good, right? Cause you'll go to hell for doin' that...

mentally disabled nursing home resident

You mean a christian?

It sounds like he's living the dream.

glassbottomboatcaptain: You know a molester has low self esteem when a retarded old man is the highest they aim for.

Know how I know you didn't RTFA?

FirstNationalBastard: LittleSmitty: Snapper Carr: doubled99: Honestly, how often is a disabled nursing home resident gonna get laid?
Public service.


Nursing homes are basically geriatric swingers clubs. It's both heartwarming (to know that you can still get some when you're 80) and icky (cuz 80 year old people having sex is just ewww)


I know a person that majored in Gerontology. She was a director of a large nursing home. And you are correct. She old me about a couple in their 80's that could not stay off each other. A large young, highly religious orderly caught them in the act and freaked out. He was so upset he could hardly describe the incident. He ended up quitting because he kept walking in on them. It was one of the funniest stories I've heard.

Do you think just to mess with him, that maybe they made sure he would catch them?

Can't rule that one out, but the kicker, I'm told was him walking in on a gumjob. He was quite shocked by the experience.

He wants you to suck on the Holy Ghost and swallow the sins of man.

TappingTheVein: I was surprised. It wasn't a prepubescent boy.

That's Roman Catholic. Baptists tend to branch out a little more.

According to Chief Edwards, Johnson had been visiting with residents of Liberty Commons for about 12 months...Johnson said he knew the woman was "slow," but said he did not know her mental capacity.

not much communication in 12 months to determine her mental capacity or was her capacity normal by the congregation's standards?