If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ABC2News Baltimore)   Next time you rip your pants, just tell mom the truth, okay?   (abc2news.com) divider line 35
    More: Silly, The Tribune, pants, Mikael Wersland  
•       •       •

11971 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2011 at 4:39 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-03-24 03:42:19 AM
Well, I hope they were clean.
/crickets in here.
 
2011-03-24 04:41:16 AM
he was actin' like a fool with his pants on the ground
 
2011-03-24 04:42:40 AM
He may not be charged with anything, but if he was scared to say he fell and torn his pants, you can bet he's expecting a severe asswhipping at home.
 
2011-03-24 04:47:33 AM

Malachilenomade: He may not be charged with anything, but if he was scared to say he fell and torn his pants, you can bet he's expecting a severe asswhipping at home.


IDK, teens say stupid shiat to seem cool. Hell they say stupid shiat just to seem less stupid.
 
2011-03-24 04:47:54 AM

Malachilenomade: He may not be charged with anything, but if he was scared to say he fell and torn his pants, you can bet he's expecting a severe asswhipping at home.


Yeah. Those must be some crazy parents if the kid needed to use a shooting to excuse ripping his pants.
 
2011-03-24 04:55:48 AM
I find it amusing that you can buy stock photos of torn jeans. I wonder what they call that one?
 
2011-03-24 04:57:43 AM
I'm just really glad they included a picture of what torn pants might look like. I'd have never figured that out without the stock photo.
 
2011-03-24 05:09:51 AM

Jamieboy: I find it amusing that you can buy stock photos of torn jeans. I wonder what they call that one?


Damn you!
 
2011-03-24 05:10:31 AM
Oh my goodness, this story has reminded me of something I haven't thought of for years. CSS time:

When I was in 1st grade I had something similar happen to me. My mom had just gotten me a new pair of jeans and had specifically told me I was not under any circumstances to get them dirty. I honestly remember her bending down beside me, her face in mine, telling me in a very serious tone that these pants had to be in perfect condition by the end of the day. (apparently I had a habit of crawling around in mud at that age, as most kids do)

Anyway, I was so paranoid about getting them dirty that for the first recess I just sat on the swings, afraid to move. By the time lunchtime came around the pants were still in pristine shape. Then I spilled a huge conglomerate of ketchup/mustard/relish on them during lunch (it was hot dog day)

I remember panicking, completely terrified that my mother would disown me or send me to live with my horrible aunt or whatever other scenario a scared six year old's imagination can come up with. I cried for a good half an hour desperately thinking of a way out of the situation.

Then later that day, in a moment of pure clarity, it came to me. I had figured it out! I raised my hand and asked the teacher if I could go to the washroom. She said yes and off I went. My genius plan was simple: go to the washroom and hide my pants, which is precisely what I did.

Now why I even for a second thought this plan would work is, still to this day, beyond me. It's clearly a case of lacking the ability to think critically about a situation and foresee consequences. So anyway, I hid the pants in a tight ball behind the garbage can in the washroom and went back to class, sporting My Little Pony underwear. Of course, soon as I entered the classroom my teacher spotted me and ran over to me with this super concerned look in her eyes and basically yelled "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PANTS?!?!?"

At this point I remember thinking that my genius plan was obviously not foolproof and in a move of desperation, or to just buy some time, I just burst out crying. Hysterically. My teacher must have assumed I had been sexually assaulted on the way to the washroom so I was quickly rushed to the principal's office and a level 10 alert went through the school to be on the lookout for a possible sexual predator on the loose. My parents were called, who of course rushed to the scene as fast as possible. I continued to sob hysterically, even after the janitor appeared in the office holding my pants, still tightly wrapped in a ball. I eventually confessed, after about another hour of sobbing. The ride home with mom was...memorable.

/tl;dr version: kids are dumb
 
2011-03-24 05:20:58 AM
I was going to post again, but miss diminutive won the thread!
My mom was sweet, but could be scary.
/sympathizes
 
2011-03-24 06:28:49 AM
Subby, I am not telling my mom that I popped massive wood looking at my teacher's ass when she bent over to pick up the chalk.

/She was hot.
//Never got to touch.
///That's the real crime...
 
2011-03-24 06:51:05 AM
The very pants he was returning.

My God, that's interesting writing.
 
2011-03-24 06:55:15 AM
i12.photobucket.com


Understands..... (new window)
 
2011-03-24 07:08:17 AM
Young Wyclef.
 
2011-03-24 07:12:34 AM
miss diminutive:

Feel bad for you and yet can't help laughing...
 
2011-03-24 07:20:34 AM

miss diminutive: Oh my goodness, this story has reminded me of something I haven't thought of for years. CSS time:

When I was in 1st grade I had something similar happen to me. My mom had just gotten me a new pair of jeans and had specifically told me I was not under any circumstances to get them dirty. I honestly remember her bending down beside me, her face in mine, telling me in a very serious tone that these pants had to be in perfect condition by the end of the day. (apparently I had a habit of crawling around in mud at that age, as most kids do)

Anyway, I was so paranoid about getting them dirty that for the first recess I just sat on the swings, afraid to move. By the time lunchtime came around the pants were still in pristine shape. Then I spilled a huge conglomerate of ketchup/mustard/relish on them during lunch (it was hot dog day)

I remember panicking, completely terrified that my mother would disown me or send me to live with my horrible aunt or whatever other scenario a scared six year old's imagination can come up with. I cried for a good half an hour desperately thinking of a way out of the situation.

Then later that day, in a moment of pure clarity, it came to me. I had figured it out! I raised my hand and asked the teacher if I could go to the washroom. She said yes and off I went. My genius plan was simple: go to the washroom and hide my pants, which is precisely what I did.

Now why I even for a second thought this plan would work is, still to this day, beyond me. It's clearly a case of lacking the ability to think critically about a situation and foresee consequences. So anyway, I hid the pants in a tight ball behind the garbage can in the washroom and went back to class, sporting My Little Pony underwear. Of course, soon as I entered the classroom my teacher spotted me and ran over to me with this super concerned look in her eyes and basically yelled "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PANTS?!?!?"

At this point I remember thinking that my genius plan was obviously not foolproof and in a move of desperation, or to just buy some time, I just burst out crying. Hysterically. My teacher must have assumed I had been sexually assaulted on the way to the washroom so I was quickly rushed to the principal's office and a level 10 alert went through the school to be on the lookout for a possible sexual predator on the loose. My parents were called, who of course rushed to the scene as fast as possible. I continued to sob hysterically, even after the janitor appeared in the office holding my pants, still tightly wrapped in a ball. I eventually confessed, after about another hour of sobbing. The ride home with mom was...memorable.

/tl;dr version: kids are dumb


i850.photobucket.com

That sounds like something from Hyperbole and a Half.
 
2011-03-24 07:37:44 AM

jingks: Malachilenomade: He may not be charged with anything, but if he was scared to say he fell and torn his pants, you can bet he's expecting a severe asswhipping at home.

Yeah. Those must be some crazy parents if the kid needed to use a shooting to excuse ripping his pants.


Dude... it's Utah.
 
2011-03-24 07:57:00 AM
He's closeted and was trying to look like Britney Spears in his favorite video, but didn't want to seem teh ghey.
 
2011-03-24 08:32:44 AM

miss diminutive: Oh my goodness, this story has reminded me of something I haven't thought of for years. CSS time:

When I was in 1st grade I had something similar happen to me. My mom had just gotten me a new pair of jeans and had specifically told me I was not under any circumstances to get them dirty. I honestly remember her bending down beside me, her face in mine, telling me in a very serious tone that these pants had to be in perfect condition by the end of the day. (apparently I had a habit of crawling around in mud at that age, as most kids do)

Anyway, I was so paranoid about getting them dirty that for the first recess I just sat on the swings, afraid to move. By the time lunchtime came around the pants were still in pristine shape. Then I spilled a huge conglomerate of ketchup/mustard/relish on them during lunch (it was hot dog day)

I remember panicking, completely terrified that my mother would disown me or send me to live with my horrible aunt or whatever other scenario a scared six year old's imagination can come up with. I cried for a good half an hour desperately thinking of a way out of the situation.

Then later that day, in a moment of pure clarity, it came to me. I had figured it out! I raised my hand and asked the teacher if I could go to the washroom. She said yes and off I went. My genius plan was simple: go to the washroom and hide my pants, which is precisely what I did.

Now why I even for a second thought this plan would work is, still to this day, beyond me. It's clearly a case of lacking the ability to think critically about a situation and foresee consequences. So anyway, I hid the pants in a tight ball behind the garbage can in the washroom and went back to class, sporting My Little Pony underwear. Of course, soon as I entered the classroom my teacher spotted me and ran over to me with this super concerned look in her eyes and basically yelled "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PANTS?!?!?"

At this point I remember thinking that my genius plan was obviously not foolproof and in a move of desperation, or to just buy some time, I just burst out crying. Hysterically. My teacher must have assumed I had been sexually assaulted on the way to the washroom so I was quickly rushed to the principal's office and a level 10 alert went through the school to be on the lookout for a possible sexual predator on the loose. My parents were called, who of course rushed to the scene as fast as possible. I continued to sob hysterically, even after the janitor appeared in the office holding my pants, still tightly wrapped in a ball. I eventually confessed, after about another hour of sobbing. The ride home with mom was...memorable.

/tl;dr version: kids are dumb


I think you're my new favourite person on Fark

/Pics or it never happened.
 
2011-03-24 08:37:49 AM

jingks: Malachilenomade: He may not be charged with anything, but if he was scared to say he fell and torn his pants, you can bet he's expecting a severe asswhipping at home.

Yeah. Those must be some crazy parents if the kid needed to use a shooting to excuse ripping his pants.


Nope, teenage boys will lie about anything for no reason. They will lie when the truth will save them. They will lie even though they have been told "if you lie to me you will be punished". They will lie because they are too lazy to think about a question. They continue to lie after they get caught, punished and told that they are terrible liars.

/welcome to my world
//There's a Seuss like poem lurking in this post
 
2011-03-24 08:51:03 AM

Saberus Terras: Subby, I am not telling my mom that I popped massive wood looking at my teacher's ass when she bent over to pick up the chalk.

/She was hot.
//Never got to touch.
///That's the real crime...


Yeah but did u come?
 
2011-03-24 08:59:07 AM

Count_0: Understands..... (new window)


Goddammitsomuch! Beat me to it.

The first two season's of Spongebob were actually pretty cool and not crammed with a swollen ball sack of cockstuffing pro gay agenda. Farking faygs...
 
2011-03-24 09:06:42 AM

BurnShrike: /Pics or it never happened.


pedobear.jpg
 
2011-03-24 09:06:45 AM
t2.gstatic.com
/what ripped jeans might look like
 
2011-03-24 09:08:38 AM

Count_0: Understands..... (new window)


LOVE that episode, thanks for this!
 
2011-03-24 09:12:09 AM

miss diminutive:
/tl;dr version: kids are dumb


Yeah, I blame the parents for shiat like that. If you want to have kids, plan on cleaning some pants once in a while, asshat. Works better than trying to force your kids to not be kids.
 
2011-03-24 09:23:46 AM
BurnShrike: Pics or it never happened.

You know, I think I'd rather see pics of miss diminuitive NOW in My Little Pony panties, rather than first grade pics...

\of course, that's just me. Your mileage may vary.
 
2011-03-24 09:24:35 AM

CheekyMonkey: BurnShrike: Pics or it never happened.

You know, I think I'd rather see pics of miss diminuitive NOW in My Little Pony panties, rather than first grade pics...

\of course, that's just me. Your mileage may vary.


I'm not picky, but I'll second this request.
 
2011-03-24 09:26:08 AM
Pole dancing for Jesus??
 
2011-03-24 09:48:20 AM

celery_stalker: Pole dancing for Jesus??


Yeah, I saw that, too. It is cool that Jesus is into watching pole dancers. It is something we have in common.
 
2011-03-24 09:51:31 AM

miss diminutive: BurnShrike: /Pics or it never happened.

pedobear.jpg


No need for Pedobear. I would be delighted for you to recreate the scene just as you are today. Really delighted.
 
2011-03-24 10:37:03 AM

miss diminutive: Oh my goodness, this story has reminded me of something I haven't thought of for years. CSS time:

When I was in 1st grade I had something similar happen to me. My mom had just gotten me a new pair of jeans and had specifically told me I was not under any circumstances to get them dirty. I honestly remember her bending down beside me, her face in mine, telling me in a very serious tone that these pants had to be in perfect condition by the end of the day. (apparently I had a habit of crawling around in mud at that age, as most kids do)

Anyway, I was so paranoid about getting them dirty that for the first recess I just sat on the swings, afraid to move. By the time lunchtime came around the pants were still in pristine shape. Then I spilled a huge conglomerate of ketchup/mustard/relish on them during lunch (it was hot dog day)

I remember panicking, completely terrified that my mother would disown me or send me to live with my horrible aunt or whatever other scenario a scared six year old's imagination can come up with. I cried for a good half an hour desperately thinking of a way out of the situation.

Then later that day, in a moment of pure clarity, it came to me. I had figured it out! I raised my hand and asked the teacher if I could go to the washroom. She said yes and off I went. My genius plan was simple: go to the washroom and hide my pants, which is precisely what I did.

Now why I even for a second thought this plan would work is, still to this day, beyond me. It's clearly a case of lacking the ability to think critically about a situation and foresee consequences. So anyway, I hid the pants in a tight ball behind the garbage can in the washroom and went back to class, sporting My Little Pony underwear. Of course, soon as I entered the classroom my teacher spotted me and ran over to me with this super concerned look in her eyes and basically yelled "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PANTS?!?!?"

At this point I remember thinking that my genius plan was obviously not foolproof and in a move of desperation, or to just buy some time, I just burst out crying. Hysterically. My teacher must have assumed I had been sexually assaulted on the way to the washroom so I was quickly rushed to the principal's office and a level 10 alert went through the school to be on the lookout for a possible sexual predator on the loose. My parents were called, who of course rushed to the scene as fast as possible. I continued to sob hysterically, even after the janitor appeared in the office holding my pants, still tightly wrapped in a ball. I eventually confessed, after about another hour of sobbing. The ride home with mom was...memorable.

/tl;dr version: kids are dumb


LOL! I'm sure as a first grader it seemed like a very cunning plan. Thanks for Sharing
/Sharing is caring
 
2011-03-24 01:37:00 PM

miss diminutive:

/tl;dr version: kids are dumb


Bravo! Seriously this made me laugh so hard! Though I'm sorry for laughing at your traumatic experience :P

I've done a lot of embarrassing things, but I've never lost my pants in school (well, not until it was more socially acceptable.)
 
2011-03-24 04:51:27 PM
If falling and tearing your pants is enough to get in trouble, with no fault of the pantswearer..... howis a bullet any better?
 
2011-03-24 11:08:06 PM

RU_Rules: Saberus Terras: Subby, I am not telling my mom that I popped massive wood looking at my teacher's ass when she bent over to pick up the chalk.

/She was hot.
//Never got to touch.
///That's the real crime...

Yeah but did u come?


Not until I was safely at home in my locked room. Oh, the power of imagination...

/In my head, she was such a dirty girl...
 
Displayed 35 of 35 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report