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(Tampa Bay Online)   Zoo creature molests human boy in--- OMG what is that thing? KILL IT WITH FIRE   (www2.tbo.com) divider line 279
    More: Sick, Tampa Police Department, animals, zoos  
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41340 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2011 at 12:13 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



279 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-03-23 11:04:10 AM
That poor kid will never set foot in a zoo again. That is the stuff of nightmares.
 
2011-03-23 11:08:29 AM
yikes, it's like an alien clown with human makeup on
 
2011-03-23 11:16:19 AM

Confabulat: That poor kid will never set foot in a zoo bathroom again. That is the stuff of nightmares.

 
2011-03-23 11:30:27 AM
Looks like Treacher Collins syndrome. (new window)
 
2011-03-23 11:34:58 AM
The child, who was not physically injured, identified Spurback as the suspect, police said.

"Are you sure that's the guy, son?"

"What the fark do you think, genius?!"
 
2011-03-23 11:42:41 AM
Well...at least he has good hair.
 
2011-03-23 11:59:44 AM
choosepp.net

Hi! Why don't you have a seat over there!?
 
2011-03-23 12:15:22 PM
You mean the father did not go in there and beat this thing?

Sick parents.
 
2011-03-23 12:15:25 PM

keiverarrow: yikes, it's like an alien clown with human makeup on


Or with no makeup on.
 
2011-03-23 12:16:22 PM
That's not nice, subby.
 
2011-03-23 12:17:07 PM
www.gutzngory.com
 
2011-03-23 12:17:37 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2011-03-23 12:17:46 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2011-03-23 12:18:34 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

/Feels your pain.
 
2011-03-23 12:18:40 PM
Cameron, James... and it's an Albino Na'vi?
 
2011-03-23 12:20:05 PM
On a very special episode of The X-Files....
 
2011-03-23 12:20:29 PM
images.blu-ray.com
 
2011-03-23 12:20:32 PM
Always good to have a new Fark cliche' picture join the ranks.
 
2011-03-23 12:21:07 PM
Well, after twenty years or so of hearing people yell OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE whenever they first see you, I can't imagine that you'd have any sort of issues forming normal relationships or attachments.

If he's a molester, he needs to be kept the fark away from kids, but I can still feel sad for him.
 
2011-03-23 12:21:21 PM

BillSmith70: You mean the father did not go in there and beat this thing?

Sick parents.


You'd actually come in physical contact with that? Without wearing an encounter suit?

Looks like his head got ran over by the ugly truck.
 
2011-03-23 12:21:56 PM
DarnoKonrad 2011-03-23 12:17:37 PM


That's the pic I was trying to think of! Thank you.
 
2011-03-23 12:22:15 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2011-03-23 12:23:33 PM
What is that I don't even
 
2011-03-23 12:23:41 PM
I nominate that we stuff his underwear with salmon, cover him with honey, and drop him into the grizzly bear enclosure.
 
2011-03-23 12:23:46 PM
Is this real life?
 
2011-03-23 12:23:55 PM
Thought I'd share this one:
i.imgur.com
 
2011-03-23 12:23:56 PM

Diogenes: The child, who was not physically injured, identified Spurback as the suspect, police said.

"Are you sure that's the guy, son?"

"What the fark do you think, genius?!"


Now I don't have to post.
 
2011-03-23 12:24:12 PM

jfarkinB: Well, after twenty years or so of hearing people yell OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE whenever they first see you, I can't imagine that you'd have any sort of issues forming normal relationships or attachments.

If he's a molester, he needs to be kept the fark away from kids, but I can still feel sad for him.


I feel the same way. I can't bring myself to make fun of him eventhough this is fark.
 
2011-03-23 12:24:27 PM
I'd feel pity for the poor bastard if not for the whole molesting a 9 year old thing.
 
2011-03-23 12:24:52 PM
img171.imageshack.us
 
2011-03-23 12:25:13 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: That's not nice, subby.


Welcome to Fark, babe.
 
2011-03-23 12:25:49 PM
Story should have explained why the guy's face is made of putty.
 
2011-03-23 12:26:57 PM

jfarkinB: Well, after twenty years or so of hearing people yell OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE whenever they first see you, I can't imagine that you'd have any sort of issues forming normal relationships or attachments.

If he's a molester, he needs to be kept the fark away from kids, but I can still feel sad for him.



Oh for f*ck's sake.

He's a child molester....and I have no sympathy for him. Being born ugly is no excuse for diddling children. You're right....he needs to be kept away from kids, and placed in a prison where he'll get the treatment from fellow prisoners that he deserves.

I'd feel sorry for him if he had been arrested for soliciting a prostitute, but not in this case.
 
2011-03-23 12:27:07 PM

The_Sponge: I nominate that we stuff his underwear with salmon, cover him with honey, and drop him into the grizzly bear enclosure.


They don't have grizzlies at Lowry Park Zoo.
 
2011-03-23 12:27:24 PM

jfarkinB: Well, after twenty years or so of hearing people yell OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE whenever they first see you, I can't imagine that you'd have any sort of issues forming normal relationships or attachments.

If he's a molester, he needs to be kept the fark away from kids, but I can still feel sad for him.


Came to say as much as this. I don't know why Fark takes such delight in being cruel. Cue all the comments about how I don't belong here. And you're right. I'll go back where I belong, on the site with the cute little space alien.
 
2011-03-23 12:27:25 PM
Ooooooo, haven't seen the Rat Monkey in a LONG time!

Sengaia!
 
2011-03-23 12:27:28 PM
This is the proof that peanut allergies are not to be made light of!
 
2011-03-23 12:27:35 PM
I'm guessing the police lineup didn't take more than a second.

"Ok Timmy, we're going to show you 5 people, and I want you tell us which-"
"Number 4. Definitely Number 4."
 
2011-03-23 12:27:40 PM

Diogenes: The child, who was not physically injured, identified Spurback as the suspect, police said.

"Are you sure that's the guy, son?"

"What the fark do you think, genius?!"


Parents don't enter the restroom with their children anymore, in the first place???? WTF?
 
2011-03-23 12:27:54 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

"To the pain . . ."

/Hot like a holocaust cloak
 
2011-03-23 12:28:40 PM
dayum! and I love Lowry Park Zoo
 
2011-03-23 12:28:40 PM
ffffffff. I'm just about to eat, too...

He looks about as disgusting as he behaves.
 
2011-03-23 12:29:43 PM
Spurback doesn't have a criminal record, police said.

He does now.
 
2011-03-23 12:29:44 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The_Sponge: I nominate that we stuff his underwear with salmon, cover him with honey, and drop him into the grizzly bear enclosure.

They don't have grizzlies at Lowry Park Zoo.



Oh. What about black bears?
 
2011-03-23 12:29:56 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2011-03-23 12:30:07 PM

The_Sponge: I nominate that we stuff his underwear with salmon, cover him with honey, and drop him into the grizzly bear enclosure.


the "how about no" bear says "how about no"
 
2011-03-23 12:30:53 PM
That poor little kid.

i26.photobucket.com
 
2011-03-23 12:31:00 PM

eightballart: I'm guessing the police lineup didn't take more than a second.

"Ok Timmy, we're going to show you 5 people, and I want you tell us which-"
"Number 4. Definitely Number 4."


Came here with this... leaving to be afraid of what my nightmares will hold tonight
 
2011-03-23 12:31:07 PM
At lowry park zoo? Not surprising, there's always been rumors (and charges) of staff trying to play hide the pickle with the kiddies.

/very glad my parents never dragged a juvenile mcvodkabreath there (and instead down the road to Busch Gardens instead); although I would've probably hurt this guy... his deformities cant make him THAT hard to ass kick if he's after a gropin'. Not to mention, he should be easy to outrun
 
2011-03-23 12:31:37 PM
Suffering + Life = This
 
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