FARK.com: (6055354) You're banned from a pub named "Friends," and a waitress asks you to leave. Do you c:) shoot the patron standing beside you, cut out his heart, and eat some of it?

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		You're banned from a pub named "Friends," and a waitress asks you to leave. Do you c:) shoot the patron standing beside you, cut out his heart, and eat some of it? (knoxnews.com)		94
		More: Ironic, friends, pub names, guilty verdicts, Douglas Statzer

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17345 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2011 at 12:16 PM | Favorite | share:

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the_rev		2011-03-23 09:06:28 AM

I've been to Friends several times. It was a pretty cool little place until this incident happened.

Adjective Bird Whiskey		2011-03-23 09:22:11 AM

the_rev: I've been to Friends several times. It was a pretty cool little place until this incident happened.

Murder/cannibalism does tend to ruin the ambiance of a place.

the_rev		2011-03-23 09:28:29 AM

Adjective Bird Whiskey: Murder/cannibalism does tend to ruin the ambiance of a place.

It's been shut down, ever since then. They've been waiting for this asshole to go on trial for almost three years now. I heard it might reopen eventually.

DjangoStonereaver		2011-03-23 09:31:55 AM

Adjective Bird Whiskey: the_rev: I've been to Friends several times. It was a pretty cool little place until this incident happened.

Murder/cannibalism does tend to ruin the ambiance of a place.

Oh, I dunno:

www.mentalfloss.com

mod3072		2011-03-23 09:36:53 AM

4 posts and no irony police yet? Is that a new record?

kid_icarus		2011-03-23 09:38:04 AM

Wow, that's 5 minutes from my house. How did I miss that happening?

the_rev		2011-03-23 09:44:15 AM

kid_icarus: Wow, that's 5 minutes from my house. How did I miss that happening?

I remember it. They had a big police standoff for a couple of hours. I was watching it on tv live. Finally Merriit just walked out and sat down on the sidewalk. KPD *tackled* his ass. I mean, he got a big-time pavement shampoo.

Did you ever go there?

cookiefleck		2011-03-23 09:44:30 AM

Come for the Miller High Life, stay for the pickled hearts...

the_rev		2011-03-23 09:48:47 AM

This was just after KPD applied the parking lot to his face.

GAT_00		2011-03-23 09:51:59 AM

Wow, this all happened before I moved here, but that's really messed up. Glad that's on the other side of the county from me though.

Interestingly enough, Google says Halls, TN is on the other side of the state, near Dyersburg, but another article had it listed on Maynardville Highway, and of course there's the note about Knox County SWAT being involved.

the_rev		2011-03-23 09:54:01 AM

GAT_00: Interestingly enough, Google says Halls, TN is on the other side of the state, near Dyersburg

Yeah, there is a "Halls" out there. This is "Halls Crossroads" which is just north of the Knoxville / Fountain City area.

cookiefleck		2011-03-23 09:54:11 AM

I like his "I don't give a f*ck" look on his face..

cookiefleck		2011-03-23 10:00:44 AM

I'm also guessing Im not getting my mojito I ordered any time soon...

Ennuipoet		2011-03-23 10:03:07 AM

So, no one told you life would be this way,
you're jobs a joke, you're broke,
Tony's DOAaaaaaaaa,
seems like there always shooting some guy in here,
couldn't it be like other bars where guys just lose an ear?

GAT_00		2011-03-23 10:04:17 AM

the_rev: GAT_00: Interestingly enough, Google says Halls, TN is on the other side of the state, near Dyersburg

Yeah, there is a "Halls" out there. This is "Halls Crossroads" which is just north of the Knoxville / Fountain City area.

Ah, there it is. Only this state.

kid_icarus		2011-03-23 10:08:20 AM

the_rev: kid_icarus: Wow, that's 5 minutes from my house. How did I miss that happening?

I remember it. They had a big police standoff for a couple of hours. I was watching it on tv live. Finally Merriit just walked out and sat down on the sidewalk. KPD *tackled* his ass. I mean, he got a big-time pavement shampoo.

Did you ever go there?

Nope. I've heard of the place, though. I live in Fountain City, so we usually bar hop in the other direction.

the_rev		2011-03-23 10:10:16 AM

kid_icarus: I live in Fountain City, so we usually bar hop in the other direction.

Senor Taco rules.

kid_icarus		2011-03-23 10:12:31 AM

the_rev: kid_icarus: I live in Fountain City, so we usually bar hop in the other direction.

Senor Taco rules.

Ha! That little taco-dive is my favorite place in the world.

the_rev		2011-03-23 10:14:55 AM

kid_icarus: the_rev: kid_icarus: I live in Fountain City, so we usually bar hop in the other direction.

Senor Taco rules.

Ha! That little taco-dive is my favorite place in the world.

It's been there for years, and I only 'discovered' it last fall. I've been wearing it out on Sunday afeternoons ever since.

Sybarite		2011-03-23 10:20:13 AM

Waste not, want not.

kid_icarus		2011-03-23 10:20:47 AM

the_rev: kid_icarus: the_rev: kid_icarus: I live in Fountain City, so we usually bar hop in the other direction.

Senor Taco rules.

Ha! That little taco-dive is my favorite place in the world.

It's been there for years, and I only 'discovered' it last fall. I've been wearing it out on Sunday afeternoons ever since.

Then we've probably had a beer together without knowing it.

/stay away from the habanero salsa

the_rev		2011-03-23 10:22:41 AM

kid_icarus: /stay away from the habanero salsa

I mix together about 2 parts of the 'mild' and 1 part habanero. And it still makes my eyes water.

neversubmit		2011-03-23 12:21:49 PM

Well yeah! If you think you're so much better than everyone how would handle it Mr. high and mighty subby?

alowishus		2011-03-23 12:22:51 PM

hammettman		2011-03-23 12:23:34 PM

To be fair, it was a sports bar after all.

Nuclear Monk		2011-03-23 12:24:09 PM

Maybe if they had better appetizers on the menu, this sort of thing wouldn't happen so much.

rka		2011-03-23 12:24:11 PM

This is almost as farked up as the whackjob that decapitated a fellow passenger on a Greyhound bus in Canada.

At least this guys was just trying to get a beer.

jehovahs witness protection		2011-03-23 12:26:29 PM

In his defense, (expletive) beer IS pretty farking good.

Andrew Wiggin		2011-03-23 12:27:16 PM

i'll be there for him

kungfu jesus with a side of lime		2011-03-23 12:27:51 PM

I guess they will have to pull the manwich off the menu
ocanada.com.au

/or at least add liver and fava beans

ILikeRealPencils		2011-03-23 12:28:51 PM

Just goes to show, you should never get between a TF'er and his beer.

nburghmatt		2011-03-23 12:30:42 PM

damn, someone should have just lent him the money for a beer. i think the problem is that he didn't announce his intentions.

"i'm gonna shoot this dude and eat his heart if i don't get a beer"

i'd buy him one.

BobaFeet		2011-03-23 12:31:36 PM

Wow. Just wow. This shiat really happens.

joelris		2011-03-23 12:31:51 PM

What's his fark handle?

Prank Call of Cthulhu		2011-03-23 12:32:47 PM

Stanfan114		2011-03-23 12:32:59 PM

Remember, guns make everybody safer, kids.

tenpoundsofcheese		2011-03-23 12:34:18 PM

hype alert.
he didn't try to eat the person's heart, only some other flesh.

in other words, a slow wednesday night.

Sarcastica75		2011-03-23 12:34:28 PM

Impaler? I don't even know him!

/...

the_rev		2011-03-23 12:34:45 PM

Today's special:

Fava beans w/ Chianti

Sarcastica75		2011-03-23 12:35:45 PM

No, I'll eat YOUR heart out!

/...

preciousmetal		2011-03-23 12:38:34 PM

Well, did he get his beer?

the_rev		2011-03-23 12:39:54 PM

preciousmetal: Well, did he get his beer?

They didn't have the heart to refuse him...

mantafirefly		2011-03-23 12:43:28 PM

I don't get what the national obsession with beer even is. It's a farking drink, it doesn't even taste nice (If it did you'd be able to drink it much more quickly), so buy something you like the taste of more. If you want to get drunk quick, there's better methods.

the_rev		2011-03-23 12:44:14 PM

ultraholland		2011-03-23 12:44:24 PM

I'd at least consider it.

rka		2011-03-23 12:47:44 PM

I wonder if it was this beer.

Seems like it's going to be the next big thing.

/BN Army!

rockradio1		2011-03-23 12:48:38 PM

Somebody is koo-koo for cocoa-puffs.

BraveNewCheneyWorld		2011-03-23 12:49:02 PM

mantafirefly: I don't get what the national obsession with beer even is. It's a farking drink, it doesn't even taste nice (If it did you'd be able to drink it much more quickly), so buy something you like the taste of more. If you want to get drunk quick, there's better methods.

Maybe, just maybe, everybody's goal isn't to get drunk quick. I enjoy a mild buzz, and I actually like the taste of Guinness and Sam Adams.

reddfrogg		2011-03-23 12:49:50 PM

Mmmmmmmm, tasty tasty courage....

Sarcastica75		2011-03-23 12:50:32 PM

all these hearty zingers based on the headline alone and as someone's already pointed out, he merely ate but some flesh.

*sniff

/don't people know how to cannibalize anymore?
//is it truly a lost art?

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