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(Some Guy)   Three-hundred proofs for the existence of God   ( divider line
    More: Followup  
•       •       •

26455 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jul 2003 at 7:28 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

701 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-07-31 04:03:57 PM  
The Ontological Argument

God exists in your mind, d000d!
2003-07-31 04:06:18 PM  
Ontologically speaking (or perhaps not), can't the imagined be real? If we are talking about tangible/physical, let us say "tangible/physical." But God does not have to be a tangible/physical thing. God does not have to be a tangible old man sitting up in the sky. (By the way, the reason God gets such bad PR is that people continue to see God as a tangible (large) man up in the sky, with a beard and everything. Extremely literal interpretations of the Bible and the Quran fuel that bad PR, too.)

I argue that the imagined, when it comes to God, IS real. Imagining makes God real. Again, don't think of God as a physically tangible person and it'll be a lot easier to understand this concept. Religion and God dwell in the mind and the spirit. That makes God "real." (Again, "he" is not just some dude in the sky.)
2003-07-31 04:09:58 PM  
"God exists in your mind"
Based on this we can assume:
"God is in your mind"
"In my mind I'm going to Carolina"
"God is at Sunset Beach, NC"
"We need to get closer to God"
God wants me to go to Sunset Beach, NC

Just explain this to my boss for me while I'm gone, and we'll call it even.
2003-07-31 04:13:33 PM  

Smooth, man....Very smooth. So no matter where you go, you're going on a pilgrimage!

I'm of the personal belief that god is the summation of all existence-neither good, nor bad. God, to me, is the yin-yang, hehe. Now, after I die, That's another question altogether.

Doesn't help me sleep at night, but man, when i think about people wanting to bring about 'the rapture', that just freaks me out. Damn self fulfilling prophecy!
2003-07-31 04:14:25 PM  
LOL, Thales! Way to hang in there until someone who knew what they were talking about came to your aid. :)

I love internet debates.
2003-07-31 04:16:00 PM  
So does that make the intangible Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is real?
2003-07-31 04:17:35 PM  
My favorite one:

(1) Jesus clearly fulfilled all the prophecies of the Jews.
(2) That's why there are no Jews alive today.
(3) If you see a Jew, you should probably kill him to make #2 work.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

2003-07-31 04:31:31 PM  
Sure. Why not? He was real in the tangible world, then in the world of the mind, then in the tangible world again -- in bigger, animate form. He's real on lots of levels.
2003-07-31 04:35:46 PM  
MMMM, toasted metaphysical marshmallow.
2003-07-31 04:41:33 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Time to summon Bevets.
2003-07-31 04:43:55 PM  
60 comments and the plebes haven't even got a hold of it yet, this is going to be a good one.
2003-07-31 04:47:06 PM  
#225 is the Bevets argument:

(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exist.

2003-07-31 04:47:09 PM  
Let's break the ontological thing down:

- Is it safe to say that God is whatever the greatest thing we can imagine is? (Greatest imaginable thing = God.)

- Or if such a thing does not exist in a "real" sense -- however we want to define "real" -- well, then the greatest "real" thing is, therefore, God. (Greatest "real" thing = God.) ... Are we cool with that?

Either way, there's a God. God is the greatest thing. The question is: Which is the real God? The greatest "real" thing or the greatest "imagined" thing?

Again, God is just a synonym for "the greatest thing ever." Don't get hung up on him being a guy with a beard in the sky.
2003-07-31 04:54:53 PM  
Don't get hung up on him being a guy with a beard in the sky.

Right. God shaves.
2003-07-31 05:02:26 PM  
I began reading through this stuff and I thought to myself, "I bet there's a proof having to do with Hitler in here." I did a text search and came up with number 287, the Inverse-Godwin proof.
2003-07-31 05:16:26 PM  
(1) God exists.
(atheist makes counterarguments)
(2) You have my prayers.

Oh man, that sums up Christians completely. That's hilarious

I believe in god, but I have my own reasons for it. Nothing atheists or theists can say can sway it. I think you just have to decide for yourself and live with it.
2003-07-31 05:41:31 PM  
I believe in god, but I have my own reasons for it. Nothing atheists or theists can say can sway it. I think you just have to decide for yourself and live with it.

(1) I am not here to argue with you atheists.
(2) But come on, God obviously exists.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
2003-07-31 05:54:44 PM  
(1) Sometimes a bad person hurts little babies because he doesn't have a happy life.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

2003-07-31 05:57:25 PM  
lol, SmarterThanYou
The different is I honestly couldn't care less if you believe god exists or not. Doesn't affect me one bit, does it?
2003-07-31 06:11:02 PM  
I got laid by a set of 17 year old twins back in college. Therefore God must exist.
2003-07-31 06:14:48 PM  
I always thought the bumper sticker said "Jesus Shaves".


Oh, but that was the joke you were making. I get it now. Damned if I know why I even keep typing. And submitting. And stuff. Sorry Dr. Toast.
2003-07-31 07:07:53 PM  
(1) All U.S. currency contains the motto "In God We Trust."
(2) Therefore, God exists.
2003-07-31 07:34:35 PM  
Is it just me, or did that prove nothing?
FNG [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2003-07-31 07:38:55 PM  
and here I was, ready to be enlightened. what a load of monkey crap.
2003-07-31 07:39:03 PM  
It's 343 proofs. *glares at poster*
Not 300.
Therefore God exists.
2003-07-31 07:39:19 PM  
Hey, HAS anyone seen Bevets lately?

/have my OWN personal Jesus
and I've got the "joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart"
"down in my heart..."
to stay!!!
2003-07-31 07:39:27 PM  
I wonder how many of these proofs fall into the Guide to Logical Fallacies.
2003-07-31 07:39:46 PM  
I enjoyed South Park's portrayal of God, which is a 2 foot tall weasel-like creature.
2003-07-31 07:40:30 PM  
Step 1) set up purposely obtuse "proof" that god exists
Step 2) ???
Step 3) Profit

I can't believe no one did that yet.
2003-07-31 07:40:39 PM  
The main problem with the "God is the greatest being" argument is that the definition of "greatest" or "perfect" (or whatever) is entirely arbitrary.

What exactly does it mean to be "great" or "perfect"? People using this argument tend to pick definitions which are traditionally associated with.. wait for it... God. Hitler was a great Nazi. Does this mean that God must have been an even greated Nazi? Saddam Hussein was great at torturing innocent citizens. Therefore God must be even greater at it.
Lions are great predators. Therefore God must be even greater at running down and killing antelopes. Bears are great at shiatting in the woods, therefore God...

See the problem? That's why that whole style of argument is bogus.
2003-07-31 07:41:20 PM  
sadly, i don't think anyof those is a valid argument. I mean valid in the logical tandpoint, as defined as: an Argument in such a patten that if the premises are true the conclusion must be true.

A simple Truth-table chart proves most of those to be invalid.

they are still quite funny thought.
2003-07-31 07:41:21 PM  
Did some of you take that list seriously, as the evidence presented by a believer? I suppose there are good reasons subtlety doesn't get much play in mass market entertainment.

I have a serious question for any willing believers. I understand that one of the arguments for the existence of a higher being is that humans and lots of the other things here on Earth are so complex, it's extremely unlikely they just happened by accident. There's an analogy along the lines of finding a watch in a field. The analogy submits that an atheist would assume the watch was created randomly.

Please correct me if I've misunderstood anything important about this point, but doesn't it beg an even bigger question? If a creator made us, wouldn't he necessarily be a complex being as well? So how was he created? A further superior being?

While it is absolutely correct that life on Earth is incredibly unlikely to have been generated by random matter bumping around, it seems to be infinitely more likely than having been deliberately done by a being whose existence cannot be explained in any way whatsoever.
2003-07-31 07:41:32 PM  
wow 70 something posts for total fark before it comes to us lurkers.....

/meaningless post
2003-07-31 07:41:45 PM  
are all 300 proofs contained in the bible?

sorry if it's already been said
2003-07-31 07:42:23 PM  
I like how half these proofs all start with
1) God Exists.

wow... it's really going to be hard to prove that God exists when you take it to be a fact of your proof.
2003-07-31 07:42:25 PM  

The pope's windshield is 3 inches thick.


Priests sodomize children in cages.
2003-07-31 07:43:23 PM  
this sinner knows how to live life now because of Jesus.
2003-07-31 07:43:25 PM  
Hey, guys, read the last proof. This list is meant to be a joke.
2003-07-31 07:43:26 PM  

Some of those were real, like the Ontological Argument.
2003-07-31 07:45:13 PM  

2003-07-31 07:45:27 PM  
The page is funny. Funnier still are the people who think it's serious.
2003-07-31 07:45:54 PM  
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Ray Charles is blind.
(4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.
2003-07-31 07:47:57 PM  
I cannot be proven that God does or does not exist, but Kurt Goedel did exist. I've seen the pictures and read some of his work.
2003-07-31 07:48:00 PM  
1. I exist.
2. I am God.
3. Therefore, God exists.
2003-07-31 07:48:13 PM  
This banal article makes me want to start my own coven of satanic barbarellas.

Seriously. Fsking stupid.
2003-07-31 07:49:56 PM  
The first 5 are in fact real arguments put forth to prove the existence of god. #6 is where the parody starts.
2003-07-31 07:50:04 PM  
Listen, I realize I'm dyslexic and all, but what is all this talk about dogs existing?
I have proof dogs exist!
I own a dog!
I see dogs daily!

You cat-theorists though...that's another story!
2003-07-31 07:52:03 PM  
I think my favorite is:

(1) [argument from atheist]
(2) [theist shoots atheist]
(3) Therefore, God exists.
2003-07-31 07:52:03 PM  
Probably too late for anyone to read, but nevertheless...

Why does God need a starship?
2003-07-31 07:52:11 PM  
The only difference between God and myself... I exist
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