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(Fark)   Contest: Fark headlines from before the dawn of Fark. Difficulty: From BC   ( divider line
    More: Misc, French President Nicolas Sarkozy, The Fake Headlines, Happy Birthday, French President, morning-after pills, sex therapist, Pinal County, Religious Right  
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2896 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Mar 2011 at 7:44 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

619 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2011-03-18 04:47:02 PM Gaul Surrenders
2011-03-18 05:16:14 PM  
(Some Roman) Christ crucified. Oh sap!
2011-03-18 05:18:38 PM  

HawgWild: (Some Roman) Christ crucified. Oh sap!


That's not exactly BC, is it ...

/oh well
2011-03-18 05:23:06 PM  
Some Guy Red Jungle fowl domesticated in Southeast Asia. Tastes like chicken
2011-03-18 05:24:07 PM Actual flash: Uncle Og just MADE fire
2011-03-18 05:25:55 PM  
(sad) We all know each other now (new window)
2011-03-18 05:28:21 PM What was that big bang?
2011-03-18 05:31:45 PM  
(Some Hominid) Study: after years of research scientists come up with Bipedal Locomotion
2011-03-18 05:37:20 PM King Solomon adept at splitting heirs.
2011-03-18 05:39:19 PM Abel has this weird, sticky red fluid coming out of him. It's horrible on toast
2011-03-18 05:42:16 PM More like Alexander Teh Ghey, amirite?!
2011-03-18 05:45:10 PM  
(Some Adam) I don't know what these things are. Not Safe For Garden.
2011-03-18 05:49:28 PM *fart* What the hell was that?
2011-03-18 05:53:02 PM Father of the Year candidate Abraham attempts to murder his son, told by an invisible man to do so. Also claims neighbor's goat said telling him to kill others to impress Jodie Foster.
2011-03-18 05:57:14 PM New dance craze sweeping across the Giza Plateau has everyone walking like an Egyptian
2011-03-18 06:02:23 PM Neighbors complain of too many animals, and guy's obsession to build big boat.
2011-03-18 06:10:48 PM Julius Ceaser brutusly murdered
2011-03-18 06:10:49 PM  
(some Jonah) Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water...
2011-03-18 06:21:02 PM Og come out of closet, put to death by new wheellotine.
2011-03-18 06:23:43 PM  
(Priam) i55.tinypic.comNot news: The Greeks finally chickened out. News: Someone forgot their giant wooden horse on the beach. FARK: If they come back looking for it they'll have to get in to the city to find it. HA HA!
2011-03-18 06:34:40 PM After 39 years, Moses FINALLY asks for directions to Promised Land. Men ...
2011-03-18 06:44:44 PM 8, 9, 10. 10 plagues strike Egypt. Ah ah ah
2011-03-18 07:00:00 PM Anti-Moses protesters build statue of golden calf. Your dog wants golden steak
2011-03-18 07:08:17 PM  
(Rome Ledger) Senate passes historic tax breaks for the rich; Crassus complains they don't go far enough
2011-03-18 07:09:06 PM  
[Fail] Christ: "Let he who is without sin, toss the first stone." Romans: "Deal."
2011-03-18 07:15:26 PM Pharoah, pleased with pyramid completion but angry at mess, tells aliens to take all their tools and machines with them when they leave
2011-03-18 07:15:28 PM  
[Spiffy] Hey, you got arsenic in my copper. Hey, you got copper in my arsenic
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-03-18 07:17:03 PM  
[SCARY] Ugly-ass baby god born in Olympus. Zeus is the father
2011-03-18 07:17:17 PM  
[Interesting] What if man got on top of a horse? No, not like that, you perv.
2011-03-18 07:17:22 PM  
[Geek Tab] Scientists explain how to make 'fire'. Still no cure for anything
2011-03-18 07:19:10 PM  
[Dumbass] Poor woman rejects offer of tax-cut on her infant. Hooker accepts.
2011-03-18 07:22:31 PM  
(Some Guy) God is said to have decided to rest on the seventh day, and drink copious amounts of beer, eat BBQ, and oggle the hot young nymphs at the pool side. This sounds like a good idea, maybe we all should do this.
2011-03-18 07:23:38 PM  
[Video] Sun rises for first time (new window)
2011-03-18 07:24:27 PM  
(some Roman) Goths sack Rome. This is not a repeat from 387 BC
2011-03-18 07:25:40 PM  
(some cuneiform) [NewsFlash] Word
2011-03-18 07:25:52 PM Ice age ends. Climate change deniers unavailable for comment.
2011-03-18 07:27:23 PM  
[Dumbass] Vesuvians offend the gods, with predictable results.
2011-03-18 07:27:36 PM  
Tito the T-rex, forced 1,000 miles from his home due to meteor impact, makes it back just in time for Dinoday.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-03-18 07:29:09 PM  
[ASININE] Spartard thinks land war in Asia is totally reasonable response to getting dumped
2011-03-18 07:30:04 PM  
[Spiffy] Scientists develop new sundials. Still no cure for an overabundance of black bile
2011-03-18 07:30:38 PM  
2011-03-18 07:30:43 PM the plains may be cultivated, shamans say, though until we invent irrigation we'll still have barley enough to survive.
2011-03-18 07:30:51 PM  
[Scary] Woman from Endor weighs less than a duck
2011-03-18 07:32:44 PM  
[Cool] Leave it to a woman to create the first profession. Wait, she does WHAT for coin?
2011-03-18 07:33:02 PM  
TFD version:

TFer needs swaddling advice. Difficulty: manger.
2011-03-18 07:33:29 PM  
(Some Atlantian) [Sappy] So long and thanks for all the fish.
2011-03-18 07:35:09 PM  
This is why I love Fark!
2011-03-18 07:37:14 PM  
Politics - Fascist
[Hero] Emperor Qin Shi Huang ends illegal immigration
2011-03-18 07:37:29 PM Captain James Cook reports natives friendly at Friendly Cove, Nootka Sound. What's a Nootka Sound? Nuu-chah-nulth!

Oh. Not that BC.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-03-18 07:38:07 PM  
[FAIL] If you've fought the enemy for nine years and have his city surrounded, do you (a) starve him out, (b) launch the final assault, (c) call off the war and give a giant wooden horse as a present?
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