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(FilmDrunk)   Armond White's Battle: LA review is...well it's a work of art   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com ) divider line 51
    More: Interesting, Armond White, indie film, Aaron Eckhart, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dr Dre  
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6387 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Mar 2011 at 11:57 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-03-18 12:03:17 PM  
We need to get rid of Armond White because criticism works best when everyone has the same boring opinions.
 
2011-03-18 12:04:56 PM  
i567.photobucket.com

Problem, filmgoers?
 
2011-03-18 12:05:31 PM  
The article bashing Armond White was far more pretentious and uninteresting than the Armond White piece itself!
 
2011-03-18 12:10:07 PM  
That was a review?
 
2011-03-18 12:11:23 PM  
way to wait to see which way the wind blew on this one to be the contrarian troll you always are Armond.

/Full Disclosure: I actually liked Battle:Los Angeles
 
2011-03-18 12:17:22 PM  
is there a link to the actual review? TFA was annoying as fark.
 
2011-03-18 12:19:46 PM  

Jonathan Hohensee: We need to get rid of Armond White because criticism works best when everyone has the same boring opinions.


No, what we need are reviewers who read so much into so little they essentially make fools of themselves in a desperate attempt to troll the film community just to seem "unique" and "edgy".

Armond White brings trolling to a whole 'notha level.
 
2011-03-18 12:21:07 PM  

Bag of Hammers: /Full Disclosure: I actually liked Battle:Los Angeles


If you went in with normal expectations, it was entertaining.

Not every farking movie needs to be The King's Speech.
 
2011-03-18 12:21:10 PM  
I must be out of it today, what the hell did any of that mean?
 
2011-03-18 12:21:22 PM  

FeedTheCollapse: is there a link to the actual review? TFA was annoying as fark.


Here's (new window) the full review.
 
2011-03-18 12:24:25 PM  

Jonathan Hohensee: We need to get rid of Armond White because criticism works best when everyone has the same boring opinions.


You know, a correlation coefficient of -1 does not make you an independant thinker. You have to have a coefficient of 0, to indicate that your views are actually free from the opinions of others.

Armond White has a coefficient of -1. That does not make him any cooler than a guy with a coefficient of 1. That just makes him a contrarian.
 
2011-03-18 12:31:00 PM  
Oh, NOW I get it:

-Armond White goes to see a shiatty movie.
-The movie being shiatty, Armond White gets lost in his own Thoughts.
-All Armond White Thoughts are of course regarded as being brilliant by Armond White, the only critic who really "gets it", y'know?
-Armond White writes a review of Armond White's Thoughts. The review is glowing. And impenetrable (that's how you know his thoughts are brilliant, duh).
 
2011-03-18 12:33:12 PM  

Hanna Chan: I must be out of it today, what the hell did any of that mean?


Good to know I'm not the only one who was blindsided by that gibber-er,review.
 
2011-03-18 12:34:42 PM  
FTA

candy-death-bullets

Great band name, or greatest ever?
 
2011-03-18 12:35:23 PM  
I once gave Armond White a thesaurus as a gift. Turns out he already had one. Who knew? So embarrassing...
 
2011-03-18 12:36:04 PM  
[microphone explodes]
 
2011-03-18 12:37:27 PM  
Why do people give this guy press? He's a troll, nothing more. Why did we make him famous?
 
2011-03-18 12:38:05 PM  
The Flick Filosopher (new window) said pretty much the same thing. Though there's still no chance in hell I'm seeing this movie, I can buy the idea from her.

Armond White, though? Not so much.
 
2011-03-18 12:38:32 PM  
The candy death bullets thing is kind of interesting.

But it also kind of reminds me of having a lit paper due in twelve hours and pulling ideas out of my ass.
 
2011-03-18 12:54:24 PM  
This looks like Independence Day only ID4 wasn't so CGI driven and the characters were likable. Okay, they hacked an alien computer with an Apple laptop from 1996 but suspension of belief, people.

/although Will Smith's stripper girlfriend woke up before noon and got paid with a check. Suspension of disbelief goes only so far
 
2011-03-18 01:07:08 PM  

fightingnewfoundlander: Oh, NOW I get it:

-Armond White goes to see a shiatty movie.
-The movie being shiatty, Armond White gets lost in his own Thoughts.
-All Armond White Thoughts are of course regarded as being brilliant by Armond White, the only critic who really "gets it", y'know?
-Armond White writes a review of Armond White's Thoughts. The review is glowing. And impenetrable (that's how you know his thoughts are brilliant, duh).


Wow, you know that's probably the best theory I've ever heard regarding Armond. He's like his own personal inception. And it makes sense because if it's actually an entertaining movie like Dark Knight, he actually watches it and therefor notices the little inconsistencies which he feels forced to attack because they distracted him from his own infallible thoughts!

Brilliant my friend.
 
2011-03-18 01:11:22 PM  

scottydoesntknow: therefor


therefore

ftfm
 
2011-03-18 01:21:51 PM  

Mugato: This looks like Independence Day only ID4 wasn't so CGI driven and the characters were likable. Okay, they hacked an alien computer with an Apple laptop from 1996 but suspension of belief, people.


I went in with very low expectations. It was alright, if you can ignore that it's basically a 2 hour promo for the Marines using ID4 and BHD elements repeatedly.
 
2011-03-18 01:35:44 PM  
DNRTFA, but I saw the movie and I liked the movie. Critics are usually self absorbed fools that think their opinion matters.

I on the other hand recognize that this is FARK and no ones opinion matters.
 
2011-03-18 01:39:04 PM  
Whenever I see White, I think it's Tyler Perry presenting Tyler Perry in Tyler Perry's "The Rondo Hatton Story".
 
2011-03-18 02:06:36 PM  
wtfamireading.jpg
 
2011-03-18 02:09:22 PM  
He may be the greatest troll in filmdom. Defends every piece of shiat while pissing on anything watchable. Battle:LA was awful beyond awful.
 
2011-03-18 02:15:17 PM  
It pisses me off that he's well-paid for this shiat.
 
2011-03-18 02:22:37 PM  
they personify up-to-date, post-Iraq-surge bravery that movies like In the Valley of Elah, Courage Under Fire, Stop-Loss, The Hurt Locker and Avatar have undervalued by cynically undermining recent foreign policy.

This is a common misconception. In reality, Avatar had very little to do with undermining our foreign policy. The RDA Corporation's mining of unobtanium on Pandora was never officially condoned by the US State Department. In fact, colonization of Alpha Centauri continues be largely favored in polls following the release of the film.
 
2011-03-18 02:32:05 PM  
I'm pretty sure Armond White just trolled the bejeezus out of pretty much everyone.

Nobody thinks that was serious... do they?
 
2011-03-18 02:44:27 PM  
Armond White rocks.
 
2011-03-18 02:47:12 PM  

GameVoid: The article bashing Armond White was far more pretentious and uninteresting than the Armond White piece itself!


Right? That dude is a farking twat.
 
2011-03-18 02:47:21 PM  
Despite Battle: Los Angeles' indulgence of apocalyptic thrills, its determined dramatization of how mankind (specifically, Americans) rally against outside threat addresses a more interesting reality than the insipid, confused, sociological metaphor of District 9.

Absolutely superb.
 
2011-03-18 03:04:39 PM  
So, was he the guy who gave a crazy review of Secretariat and likened it to a white power film?
 
2011-03-18 03:06:52 PM  
The only thing you have to know is if their is a rap song on the soundtrack, he will like it.

/never fails
 
2011-03-18 03:09:59 PM  
I liked Roger Ebert's review better.
 
2011-03-18 03:25:22 PM  
He's spot on about one thing, District 9 did absolutely employ an insipid and confused sociological metaphor.
 
2011-03-18 03:33:59 PM  

Jonathan Hohensee: We need to get rid of Armond White because criticism works best when everyone has the same boring opinions.


If you think he's a legitimate critic you know nothing about him or his work. There's nothing wrong with his making a living writing if people will read it. There is something wrong with giving his reviews any legitimacy as he has clearly shown he's not even trying to be honest.
 
2011-03-18 03:36:44 PM  
Sometimes I don't even think Ebert watches the same cut of the movies I watch. Some of the stuff he refers to makes no sense unless he's purposely trying to force movies into the context he wants it to have...
 
2011-03-18 04:19:34 PM  
The most accurate review I read on Battle-LA: "It's a great Call of Duty game with really, really shiatty cutscenes."
 
2011-03-18 04:33:56 PM  

Jonathan Hohensee: We need to get rid of Armond White because criticism works best when everyone has the same boring opinions.


And there's always a dumbass like yourself to eat this shiat up. This is why reality tv exists.

An unassailable mountain of shiatheads like yourself.
 
2011-03-18 04:40:59 PM  

Twist2005: So, was he the guy who gave a crazy review of Secretariat and likened it to a white power film?


I think thats O'Hehir from Salon


http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/secretariat/index.html?story=/ent/mov i es/andrew_ohehir/2010/10/06/secretariat
 
2011-03-18 04:43:15 PM  
Armond White provides a valuable public service by making silly geeks cry.

It's great entertainment for the rest of us.
 
2011-03-18 05:15:50 PM  
I saw the movie last night, It was ok.

/CSB
 
2011-03-18 05:16:05 PM  
Armond's reviews are basically Ebert-1
 
2011-03-18 05:30:17 PM  

FeedTheCollapse: is there a link to the actual review? TFA was annoying as fark.


Amen to that fellow Farker.
 
2011-03-18 06:12:16 PM  
Oh well, I like B:LA. It was very pretty looking, was less preposterous than others in the genre (Yes, less ridiculous than Independence Day by a longshot), and was sort of like watching a videogame for two hours.

I hated the cinematography during the non-action sequences (I can understand a shaky-cam during intense battle as a mood-setter, but it was entirely unnecessary when say, Aaron Eckhart is running on a beach), and of course there were ridiculous plot elements.

But hell, I can enjoy just about any movie, given a proper state of mind.
 
2011-03-18 07:16:49 PM  

Buffalo Swords: Oh well, I like B:LA. It was very pretty looking, was less preposterous than others in the genre (Yes, less ridiculous than Independence Day by a longshot), and was sort of like watching a videogame for two hours.

I hated the cinematography during the non-action sequences
(I can understand a shaky-cam during intense battle as a mood-setter, but it was entirely unnecessary when say, Aaron Eckhart is running on a beach), and of course there were ridiculous plot elements.

But hell, I can enjoy just about any movie, given a proper state of mind.


You just described a shiatty movie. Apparently you enjoy shiatty movies. Two plus two is four.
 
2011-03-18 08:23:02 PM  
Wait, so he was joking, right? RIGHT?
 
2011-03-18 09:30:29 PM  
I'm sure Armond White is very sorry that you're all too stupid to follow his rather obvious and simple analysis.

Seriously if you can't understand his review of Battle: Los Angeles, never comment on him again.
 
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