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(Some Guy)   Obscure NCAA rule may cost Duke ACC Championship   (kinston.com) divider line 84
    More: Amusing, ACC Championship, NCAA, Duke, Mike Krzyzewski, Tar Heels, sports commentators  
•       •       •

8516 clicks; posted to Sports » on 15 Mar 2011 at 1:49 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-03-15 10:32:26 AM  
That's the Jon Dawson we've come to know and acknowledge the existence of.

/Kinston is the taint crack of eastern NC
 
2011-03-15 10:59:44 AM  
Well, that sucks. Much like Duke.
 
2011-03-15 11:02:39 AM  
Wow. We had better writing in our student-produced National Lampoon ripoff. He doesn't get paid to write that poorly, right?
 
2011-03-15 01:54:21 PM  

UNC_Samurai: That's the Jon Dawson we've come to know and acknowledge the existence of.

/Kinston is the taint crack of eastern NC


Hell yeah, god, I hate that place, and I used to have to drive through it every few weeks on my way to and from Wilmington. They set traps. The traffic lights are timed to keep you there. 20 mph speed limit through "town." One time there was a banner advertising a "Ham Fest" and I started screaming "IT'S A TRAP!" and drove out at 29 and a half miles per hour.

/You do get a really good view of the ghetto when you drive through on 11, though.
 
2011-03-15 01:57:50 PM  
This guy is really bad. I swear he had somebody disappearing "up his own backside" in the last article.
 
2011-03-15 01:58:06 PM  
Ok, I'm totally confused as to how daylight savings time made them accidentally practice longer? They weren't practicing at 2 am?
 
2011-03-15 02:01:19 PM  
Nice to see that the guy behind Fark TV has finally found himself another job.
 
2011-03-15 02:01:26 PM  
Last I checked, 120 minutes was the same before and after daylight saving time
 
2011-03-15 02:03:20 PM  

downstairs: Ok, I'm totally confused as to how daylight savings time made them accidentally practice longer? They weren't practicing at 2 am?


poorly written satire/humor/however the hell you classify this...

Probably by a UNC grad.
 
2011-03-15 02:07:13 PM  
oh...I get it...it was supposed to be funny....

/somebody shoot that "writer" so he can't do anything like that again...
 
2011-03-15 02:09:58 PM  
This article sucks even more than Duke, which is saying something.
 
2011-03-15 02:10:41 PM  

ncsu_wolfpack: downstairs: Ok, I'm totally confused as to how daylight savings time made them accidentally practice longer? They weren't practicing at 2 am?

poorly written satire/humor/however the hell you classify this...

Probably by a UNC grad.


I only read the first paragraph. Went back, and wow- that is some of the worst comedy writing I've ever seen.
 
2011-03-15 02:11:32 PM  
headline got me all excited. too bad the shiatty writing gave the joke away. no one literate could write that poorly.

/duke still sucks
//GO NOLES!
 
2011-03-15 02:12:36 PM  
Eh, that was still better than Two and a Half Men.
 
2011-03-15 02:13:17 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: Eh, that was still better than Two and a Half Men.


well put.
 
2011-03-15 02:13:56 PM  
But - nice little gem buried in there:

"Former sports commentator and current "Preparation H" test module Billy Packer weighed in on the controversial ruling on Monday."

That's a decent line no matter who wrote it.
 
2011-03-15 02:15:49 PM  

bdub77: This article sucks even more than Duke, which is saying something.


This...

Why Would I Read the Article: Eh, that was still better than Two and a Half Men.


and that.
 
2011-03-15 02:17:20 PM  
I actually thought that was serious for a second. Just from the headline. Phew!
GO BLUE DEVILS!!!
 
2011-03-15 02:17:47 PM  
So wait, was that satire? By the end of the article, I had to check and see if I was reading "The Onion".
 
2011-03-15 02:18:21 PM  
The entire town of Chapel Hill has that kind of sense of humor. I'm glad to be out of that farking place.
 
2011-03-15 02:28:14 PM  
I was hoping the rule was too many blue-blooded white guys.
 
2011-03-15 02:33:26 PM  
i90.photobucket.com
 
2011-03-15 02:36:25 PM  

Shakes999: So wait, was that satire? By the end of the article, I had to check and see if I was reading "The Onion".


You could tell it wasn't the onion because as much as the onion can suck sometimes, at least you never walk away wondering if English was their second language.
 
2011-03-15 02:36:47 PM  
Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.
 
2011-03-15 02:38:03 PM  
ITT: People who never wrote content for a web site and haven't written an essay since their senior year of high school imply they could write a better article.
 
2011-03-15 02:41:33 PM  
I'm probably the world's biggest sucker for these satire-masquerading-as-news-in-some-obscure-paper bits, and even I didn't fall for this one.
 
2011-03-15 02:41:56 PM  
"After reviewing the team manager's records, it appears the change over to daylight savings time caused Duke to accidentally practice longer than they were supposed to."


Oh that is so much bullshiat.
 
2011-03-15 02:42:49 PM  

thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


Mike_LowELL: ITT: People who never wrote content for a web site and haven't written an essay since their senior year of high school imply they could write a better article.


This "logic" is as retarded as the article.
 
2011-03-15 02:43:55 PM  
Goddamn, bad satire makes me want to slap someone. Why did we just encourage this infidel?
 
2011-03-15 02:46:22 PM  

thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


I don't cash checks for publishing satirical and comical news articles, so I don't have any. However, I do consume quite a bit of comedy, and I can tell you without a doubt in the world, that article sucks more than a whirlpool after a tsunami.
 
2011-03-15 02:49:27 PM  

thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


Also, you should know better than coming onto a internet message board and trying to defend your work once the masses have determined that it "sucks". Just keep moving.
 
2011-03-15 02:51:47 PM  
ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-03-15 02:52:59 PM  

thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


You first.
 
2011-03-15 02:53:23 PM  
I'll just leave this here:

www.unitethecows.com
 
2011-03-15 02:53:55 PM  

Cucumber_Breath: thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


And I know I am beating a dead horse at this point, but this is not the first time we have blasted a piece of crap that has come out of your word processor. See This (new window).
 
2011-03-15 02:54:35 PM  

downstairs: thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.

You first.


Check the user id. If you read the article, you witnessed it.
 
2011-03-15 03:00:56 PM  
JohnnyShotMe

More appropriate DIAF:

wwwcache.wral.com
 
2011-03-15 03:07:47 PM  
1. If it was satire, where's the tag?
2. If it was amusing, where's the funny?
3. I understand that one of you guys wrote this, but why submit it? It's terrible. Show your UNC buddies, get a laugh, and move on. Don't expose the rest of us to this crap.

/Mods should be ashamed.
 
2011-03-15 03:11:04 PM  
On a completely unrelated note, this article prompted me to try and remember what that health screening commercial about 1 in 6 was referring to. I couldn't remember the slogan, just the number 1 in 6.

So, as I naturally do, I google, "1 in 6", only to discover that's apparently the sexual abuse rate in male youth. That's very sad about Digger, but I didn't KNOW Erin Andrews had been a boy to be abused!
 
2011-03-15 03:11:55 PM  

thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


Oh, it was you. The word you're looking for is "wit." "Whit" means something that makes no sense in the context in which you've chosen to thrust it.

That "article" was horribly written, but judging from your additions to this discussion about it, I shouldn't be too surprised.
 
2011-03-15 03:12:20 PM  

thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


I care not a whit for your wit.

/fin
 
2011-03-15 03:12:21 PM  

thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


It's "wit".
 
2011-03-15 03:13:27 PM  

I am Ahab: downstairs: thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.

You first.

Check the user id. If you read the article, you witnessed it.


Even assuming he can tell the difference between "wit", a word meaning something clever, and "whit", a word meaning the amount of cleverness actually present in this article, I think you missed the point.
 
2011-03-15 03:17:23 PM  
I vaguely remember writing an equally pathetic attempt at satire when I was a senior in high school. Thankfully, the newspaper adviser turned it down for print.

I would post it here if I still had it. Trust me when I say it was no better, no worse. I did have an opinion column I wrote in my mid-20s for a small weekly community paper that was published and is a source of embarrassment to this day. Its title was "Everybody's Got One," and it mercifully lasted just two short weeks, which was two more than it deserved. I remember hate mail being involved in its demise, and the second column being mostly an apology for the first one.

Don't know how long this particular writer has been at it. Let's just say he missed the mark on this one.
 
2011-03-15 03:17:55 PM  

Mr Guy: I am Ahab: downstairs: thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.

You first.

Check the user id. If you read the article, you witnessed it.

Even assuming he can tell the difference between "wit", a word meaning something clever, and "whit", a word meaning the amount of cleverness actually present in this article, I think you missed the point.


...OH! I get it. Nicely done on second read.
 
2011-03-15 03:19:45 PM  

thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.


I don't give a "whit" about defending my wit.
 
2011-03-15 03:21:33 PM  
Also ...

"wit"

I may be as crappy a writer of satire as you, sir, but I assure you that I'm a much better copy editor.
 
2011-03-15 03:23:08 PM  
Duke sucks, Dawson swallows.
 
2011-03-15 03:25:32 PM  

I am Ahab: downstairs: thirdofnever: Okay all you masters of whit, shoot some of your work up here.

You first.

Check the user id. If you read the article, you witnessed whitnessed it.


/pet peeve
 
2011-03-15 03:26:19 PM  
Technical foul for misuse of amusing tag.
 
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