I have a tube of antiseptic cream that came in a cheap first aid kit. The label says "For external use only. Do not allow to come into contact with ear, eye or brain."

If you're in a position to apply cream directly to someone's brain then they're going to need more than a $10 first aid kit.

I work at a pharma company... I love how we have to put "for intravenous injection" on IV bags.

Let me tell you.... lactated ringer's injection makes an extremely poor, awful-tasting slushy.

Wow, they managed to find a way to make a slide show even more sucky. I will not click through that.

On my Mazda Miata (2 seater roadster) it says to place children securely in backseat. So, I always throw them in the trunk tied down.

The one about birds and non-stick pans isn't dumb at all. A lot of people don't know that Teflon fumes are like VX gas to birds.

How is a warning to keep birds out of the room when using teflon dumb? It is known to poison them and they admit that in this slideshow.

My fave that I've personally seen is:

Do not stand near drumset during an earthquake.

After the second slide my brain fell out and I couldn't continue. It literally hurt.

There should be capital punishment for putting together such an epic fail of a slide show.

Sadly the companies have to put these warning labels on because some stupid ass will try it and there are millions of lawyers.

McDonalds sticker on the drive through

**Hot Chocolate and Coffee served hot**

Step 1: Remove all warning labels from everything for a period of three years.
Step 2: Let Darwin do his job.
Step 3: Profit! (and reinstate the few warnings that actually make sense)

/being too stupid should be fatal or at least painful

fernanernie: Sadly the companies have to put these warning labels on because some stupid ass will try it and there are millions of lawyers.

McDonalds sticker on the drive through

**Hot Chocolate and Coffee served hot**

I work for an insurance company and this comes up in just about every new-hire training class.

The McDonald's in question had bypassed food safety laws and was keeping their coffee pots set to just below boiling as it extended the flavor life/sellability of their product. They screwed up and deserved the suit

For those who don't want to be eye raped by the worse flash based slideshow, I have posted below. I only included the pictures that actually show the label, not a stock image because the reporter was too lazy to research a annual story.


#25 : Label: Never operate your speakerphone while driving.

Product: Jabra Drive 'N' Talk

The 2010 winner of the annual Wacky Warning Label contest, which challenges Americans to find the most ridiculous warning labels in the country. The Jabra Drive 'N' Talk is a Bluetooth speakerphone accessory for cellphones to be used in the car. The Drive 'N' Talk carries this contradictory warning label: "Never operate your speakerphone while driving." So should it just be called the "Talk"?

#24: Label: This product may contain nuts.

Product: nuts

Often found on bags of peanuts, including those made by Sainbury, as well as on those yellow bags of Peanut M&Ms. All of which makes you wonder what some conspiracy theorists think they're buying.

#23: Label: May cause drowsiness.

Product: sleeping pill

Let's hope, for GlaxoSmithKline's sake, the warning rings true.

#22: Label: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.



Product: chainsaw

Many chainsaws bear this digit-saver, in sticker form, right on their sides.

#21 Label: Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.

Product: jet ski

This little ditty can be found on gas caps for personal recreational vehicles such as jet skis and ATVs. Should be followed by: "And if this was news to you, you are not legally permitted to operate this vehicle or, for that matter, leave the house."

#20 Label: Do not use while sleeping.



Product: hair dryer

Several manufacturers of hair dryers thought it necessary to warn users of the dangers of sleep-drying, an affliction that, apparently, befell somebody.

#19 Label: Contents may catch fire.

Product: blow torch gas bottle

Just let 'em go up in flames.

#18 Label: Do not drive with sun shield in place.

Product: reflective cardboard sun shades for car dashboards

OK, so what is the sun shield for? Presumably, hanging out in your car, alone, sipping a 44-ounce fountain cup of Mountain Dew, air conditioning on, sun shade firmly in place, contemplating where you'll drive when the sun finally goes down. Or you could just take the sunshade out of the window and drive in the blistering sun without it. If you dare.

#17 Label: This product may contain eggs.
Product: eggs

So that's what those are!

#16 Label: Deer crossing next 8 miles

Product: highway (the driving kind)

So the deer just stop after 8 miles? Is there some kind of treaty in place?

#15 Label: Avoid death.



Product: New Holland's small tractors

We proudly present the winner of the 11th annual Wacky Warning Label contest, hosted by Bob Dorigo Jones, author of Remove Child Before Folding: The 101 Stupidest, Silliest and Wackiest Warning Labels Ever, and sponsored in part by the Foundation for Fair Civil Justice.

Reported in 2010.

#14 Label: Safety goggles recommended.



Product: Staples' letter opener

Sadly, this was a misprint. According to Amy Sandler, a public relations rep at Staples, "The label is meant for our retractable box cutter, where the blades might slide off. Package redesigns are currently being shipped to Staples and Staples.com with the correct 'Keep out of reach of children' warning." Fair enough.

Reported in 2010.

#13 Label: The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.



Product: W.H. Collins' Vanishing Fabric Markers

Well that sure takes the fun of out it: After all, who doesn't like being handed a blank check?

Reported in 2010.

#12 Label: Do not put any person in this washer.


Product: Huebsch Washing Machine

First load: whites. Next load: the youngest daughter.

Reported in 2010.

#11 Label: Not to be used for navigation.

Product: Hilton Head cocktail napkins

Then why display a map of the resort? How about a cool looking parrot instead? Or maybe the phone number of a great fish restaurant?



#10 Label: Not for human consumption.



Product: MDW Outdoor Group's fox/bobcat urine powder

While nary a powder connoisseur has filed suit, an MDW customer relations rep said: "In light of the way the world is behaving, it seemed like a good idea to take a preventative measure."

#9 Label: This product is not intended for use as a dental drill.



Product: DremelMultipro's rotary tools

You can't be too careful in the age of Obama Care.


#8 Label: Always use this product with adult supervision.

Product: Kellogg's Cereal Bowl



Flinging it Frisbee-style at your little brother could cause some damage. Then there's that whole drowning-in-the milk thing. Breakfast is dangerous!


#7 Label: Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product.

Product: Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans

Polly may not have a thing for fancy cookware, but she might not like the fumes potentially given off by hot Teflon. "Many animal owners call us inquiring about it," says Richard Duran, a Bialetti consumer relations representative.

#6 Label (on website): Warning: This costume does not enable flight or super strength.

Product: Frankel's Costume Superman costumes
Can you really blame the folks at Houston-based Frankel's Costume for guarding against the old super-power plea? The costume itself does not contain the warning, but Frankel's representatives said the company thought it was necessary to give a heads-up.


#5 Label: Do not iron clothes on body.

Product: Rowenta's irons

While the company hasn't been involved in litigation, says spokesperson Jennifer Gear, Rowenta is not taking any chances. "As silly as it sounds, people do iron skirts when they're running out the door and get burned," she says. "[The warning label] is there for a good reason."

#4 Label: Do not use for personal hygiene.



Product: Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush

This label won an award at the annual Wacky Warning Label Contest hosted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, an advocacy group. Apparently the folks at S.C. Johnson are afraid that customers will go to any length to get those hard-to-reach spots on their backs--even by using a toilet brush.

#3 Label: This product moves when used.

Product: Razor scooter
A former Wacky Warning award finalist, this one speaks for its

#2 Label: Ask a doctor before use if you have difficulty urinating due to an enlarged prostate.

Product: Midol Menstrual Complete

Sound advice from Merck. But should sufferers of premenstrual syndrome really lose sleep over enlarged prostates?

#1 Label (on website): Do not eat.


Product: Apple's iPod shuffle

When Apple introduced its digital music player in 2005, the company added this warning on its website. Parody or paranoia? The company wouldn't comment.

I like the Dremel Multipro one -- it says "Honestly now, have you read this Owner's Manual?" right on the cover.

Some of these are not dumb if you think about it.
* Sleeping pills may cause drowsiness the day after the night they've been using to aid sleep.
* The speakerphone should not be adjusted while driving (paired etc)
* People would attempt using a hair dryer to warm themselves up while sleeping
* I can totally see some idiot trying to use sun shield as an oversized sun visor
* Gas blowtorch will go up in flames and explode if exposed to open fire
* People will put themselves or other people in a dryer for a spin - check youtube

slykens1: After the second slide my brain fell out and I couldn't continue. It literally hurt.

There should be capital punishment for putting together such an epic fail of a slide show.

I got to about 10, for your interest -

DO NOT HOLD THE WRONG END OF THE CHAINSAW

NEVER USE A LIT MATCH OR OPEN FLAME TO CHECK FUEL OIL

(hairdryer) NO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING

(blowtorch) CONTENTS MAY CATCH FIRE

(carton of eggs) MAY CONTAIN EGG

AVOID DEATH

Ed Willy I applaud your diligence

/*applauds*

I think everyone will get a good laugh at Lori:
Link (new window)

Army General Purpose Small (GP Small) tent used to have a label stating "CLOSE ZIPPER BEFORE ERECTION."

That would be good advice for many situations a young soldier might find himself in.

DonkeyDixon: I work for an insurance company and this comes up in just about every new-hire training class.

I keep links in my profile about the case, just to school n00bs. So thanks for stepping in!

slykens1: After the second slide my brain fell out and I couldn't continue. It literally hurt.


Hold on I will put some antiseptic cream on your brain.

I have actually seen a can of peanuts that said "May Contain Nuts". Hello, if it does NOT contain nuts I am going to be pissed.

Came here to comment on the Teflon + pet bird thing... glad I wasn't the first one to notice. It's really not a dumb warning and most people are totally unaware of it. Overheated Teflon can kill a bird in minutes... although with normal use it will never reach the necessary temperature to become toxic (536F).

/has too many birds
//all cast iron and stainless steel cookware
///cleaning up after cooking sucks

And even a Godwin

I am disappointed in all of you.

zz9: I have a tube of antiseptic cream that came in a cheap first aid kit. The label says "For external use only. Do not allow to come into contact with ear, eye or brain."

If you're in a position to apply cream directly to someone's brain then they're going to need more than a $10 first aid kit.

Actually, that's a good warning, it indicates other ingredients beyond the antibiotics. And something that I've needed to know every now and then.

MAY contain a slideshow? MAY????

Subby you cock!

With regard to not checking fule levels with a flame, I saw a news story many years ago about someone who tried to check the fuel level in their diesel truck-tractor saddle tank with a lighter.

The old Nelson Rocks Preserve Disclaimer, (new window) which seems to be missing now from the redesigned website.

And, the classic from SNL:

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
heart palpitations
If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

There's a warning sign at Universal Studios that you see right before you get on a roller coaster. It's a stick figure man, only he has a prosthetic arm and leg, and they're being separated from the rest of his body. The warning was, without words, to indicate to remove your fake arms and legs before riding the coaster. It was the best stick figure sign ever.

Also, I noticed the other day that febreeze bottles say very clearly "Do not spray on pets". Damn.

Do not iron clothes on body

I always remember a box of 3M Dust masks that had a warning; "Does not supply oxygen" in 15 languages!

RichieLaw: Gobobo: Ed Willy I applaud your diligence

/*applauds*

This. Welcome to TF homie.

Thanks for the sponsorship, RichieLaw.

RichieLaw: Gobobo: Ed Willy I applaud your diligence

/*applauds*

This. Welcome to TF homie.

[Wait, what? meme] Thank you. See you in TF, Ed!

fernanernie: Sadly the companies have to put these warning labels on because some stupid ass will try it and there are millions of lawyers.

McDonalds sticker on the drive through

**Hot Chocolate and Coffee served hot**

So you expect third degree burns on you genital when spilling coffee? Or maybe you are just so farking ignorant of consumer protection laws that you should not be allowed to utilize any product with out supervision.

The reason the little old lady won that case is McDonald's knew they had a harmful product, had settled thousands of harmful product cases, and continued to sell said harmful product. The courts ruled that because McDonald's had settled those harmful product cases they were admitting liability and negligence.

Once that was established the only thing left is how much money will make you whole again. If I remember right it the figure was five times medical costs and even then the amount was appealed and reduced by a friendly appeals court.

So how much money would it take to make you whole if a company had negligently sold you a harmful product that caused third degree burns on your genitalia. For me their is not enough money in the world to make that right, but hey keep sucking that corporate dick you farking whore.

DonkeyDixon: fernanernie: Sadly the companies have to put these warning labels on because some stupid ass will try it and there are millions of lawyers.

McDonalds sticker on the drive through

**Hot Chocolate and Coffee served hot**

I work for an insurance company and this comes up in just about every new-hire training class.

The McDonald's in question had bypassed food safety laws and was keeping their coffee pots set to just below boiling as it extended the flavor life/sellability of their product. They screwed up and deserved the suit

Yeah because it is always a good idea to put hot liquid between your legs while driving regardless of the temperature. The person was still a negligent idiot and did not deserve a penny let alone 25 million bucks which she would never have made in her entire lifetime anyway. You should never be able to sue for 10x more than you will make in your entire life. It is ridiculous.

Oops. Disregard my previous slapstick post! Hahahaha!

On a frozen pizza box, (I think it was a Totino's or a Red Baron..). "Do Not Eat this Pizza While Frozen.".

DonkeyDixon: The McDonald's in question had bypassed food safety laws and was keeping their coffee pots set to just below boiling as it extended the flavor life/sellability of their product. They screwed up and deserved the suit

You do realize that even coffee in a normal heating pot is not that much cooler, right? And if I remember correctly from an argument that was in a fark thread, the temp of the coffee was only 8 degrees warmer than the accepted temp and for the dumb coont to get those kinds of burns it had to stay on her skin for like 7-11 seconds.

That is why I call bullshiat on that lawsuit, if something is that hot and hits my clothes then that piece of clothing gets pulled off immediately. There is no way she deserved all that money for being a dumbass.

Mr. Potatoass: Do not iron clothes on body

Ok why is smoltz pic there?

Disaster Transport: Also, I noticed the other day that febreeze bottles say very clearly "Do not spray on pets". Damn.

But it makes them smell so febreezy!!!!!!

Slaves2Darkness: fernanernie: Sadly the companies have to put these warning labels on because some stupid ass will try it and there are millions of lawyers.

McDonalds sticker on the drive through

**Hot Chocolate and Coffee served hot**

So you expect third degree burns on you genital when spilling coffee? Or maybe you are just so farking ignorant of consumer protection laws that you should not be allowed to utilize any product with out supervision.

The reason the little old lady won that case is McDonald's knew they had a harmful product, had settled thousands of harmful product cases, and continued to sell said harmful product. The courts ruled that because McDonald's had settled those harmful product cases they were admitting liability and negligence.

Once that was established the only thing left is how much money will make you whole again. If I remember right it the figure was five times medical costs and even then the amount was appealed and reduced by a friendly appeals court.

So how much money would it take to make you whole if a company had negligently sold you a harmful product that caused third degree burns on your genitalia. For me their is not enough money in the world to make that right, but hey keep sucking that corporate dick you farking whore. I'm a complete farking moronic tool that doesn't understand that hot coffee may be hot.

FTFY