Huh.

That's not football, it's soccer.

David Beckham is the most recognized player in the world, eh?

Who is he and why have i never heard of him before?

"This is to ensure that everything about the sport is gay."

I've never heard soccer summarized so well...

What, no rouges?

FUTBOL!

GOAL!

Garanimal is a fatass Spanish guy.

I certainly agree that Italian Ref is the scariest MoFo alive. I bet Walken has nightmares about him.

"David Beckham is the most recognized player in the world, eh?


Who is he and why have i never heard of him before?"


Beckham is a player for Manchester United at the moment, but IIRC He's going to Real Madrid. You've never heard of him because you're an American, and Americans tend not to know anything at all about foreign culture.

News flash brain he's been with Real for a month now.

I realize this piece is in fun, but it states "The most goals ever scored in a World Cup game is three," which is just laughably wrong. There have been a ton of 3+ goal matches (the US beat Portugal last summer 3-2).

Highest scoring game was 1982 when Hungary beat El Salvador 10-1.

beckham is better known to Americans as Mr. Posh Spice

A vote for me is a vote for...voting?

I disagree with the quip about hockey having few scoring opportunities.. umm.. what the phuck, over? hockey has 20-40 shots on EACH goalie per game.. "futbol" has what.. 10 total? hockey has much more action.. more than american football.. more than the phucking stop and go NBA.. and certainly more than baseball.

-28yr old hockey fanatic from Boston who grew up playing on the very same cranberry bogs you fine folks get your Ocean Spray juice drinks from.

==for whatever its worth, i tried to get into "futbol" when i lived in Italy.. the game just moves way too slow for me.
*pass back to half..pass back to defense..pass forward to half.. pass to wing..almost rush.. nah, pass back to half.. back to defense.. rinse, repeat*

lol briz just this past world cup germany 8 - 0 saudi arabia

SOCCER IS THE BEST SPORT EVER... ALL THE OTHER SPORTS SUCK

GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Americans tend not to know about the really gay aspects of foreign culture, you mean.

TV ANNOUNCER
The Continental Soccer Association is coming to Springfield! It's all here - fast-kicking, low scoring, and ties? You bet!

BART
Hey Dad, how come you've never taken us to see a soccer game?

HOMER
I... don't know.

TV ANNOUNCER
You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Adiaga! Adiaga two! Badiaga! Aruglia! And Pizzoza!

HOMER
Oh, I've never heard of those people.

TV ANNOUNCER
And they'll all be signing autographs.

HOMER
Woohoo!

TV ANNOUNCER
This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on earth - Mexico or Portugal!

BART & LISA
Can we go Dad, please Dad, Please Dad, can we go Dad, huh, huh, please?

HOMER
Yes, yes! Oh god, yes!!

------------------------------

The Simpsons arrive at the soccer stadium.

HOMER
Oh, I'll kill myself if Portugal doesn't win.

MARGE
It's hard to believe this used to be an internment camp.

BART
Yo, Paella man! Wing one up here!

The man throws him a bowl of paella, and Bart manages to catch it. Lisa notices Pele walking onto the pitch

LISA
Hey look! It's Pele!

PELE
Pele is king of the soccer field. To be king of your kitchen, use Crestfield wax paper.

He is handed a bag of money and walks off. The game starts, and the crowd cheers. The Mexican team kicks off, and pass it between them, again and again... and again... The crowd becomes quiet.

HOMER
Boring!

KRUSTY
Come on, you schnorrers, do something!

KENT BROCKMAN
(in a commentary booth, bored) Half back passes to the center, back to the wing, back to the center. Center holds it. Holds it. Holds it...

MEXICAN COMMENTATOR
(excitedly) Half back passes to center, back to wing, back to center! Center holds it! Holds it! Holds it!!

"You've never heard of him because you're an American, and Americans tend not to know anything at all about foreign culture."


BrainInAJar, that's quite the assumption. I know who Beckham is and I've seen how great a soccer player he is, as well as his recent move to Real Madrid. Kindly piss off.

BrainInAJar makes sweeping generalizations that generally fall within the stereotypes.

In other news, soccer still sucks.

A vote for me is a vote for everybody who hates "sportsfans" who only watch "their sport" on tv instead of practicing it.

All I know about "football" is David Beck-Ham". Or so you think, sorry ass Yankee-hating f**k

WTF?
"Singing is sexy; singing someone to sleep is sexier."

Now now, thebigkahuna, that's not very fair. Every country has their own sports that other countries think are retarded.

U.S. - baseball/american football
Canada - curling/hockey
England - cricket
Japan - sumo wrestling
Afghanistan - buzkashi (goat carcass ball)
and so on...

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

In other news: Soccer still blows.

Hockey Rules.

I'm not Canadian. But I do smoke British Columbia bud.

"lol briz just this past world cup germany 8 - 0 saudi arabia"

That's right. I think I'd blocked that wretched display of Futbol out of my head.

In other Futbol and Americans news, the US finished third in Copa Oro by actually making a comeback 3-2 over Costa Rica.

American? American! Bungholio! Bring TP for my Bunghole! TP! Oooo BUUUUUnggggHOOOOLLiooooooo.

BrainInAJar, thank you for using "tend" in that rip on a culture that does deserve much rippage. There are some of us barbarians that do know a little bit more about the world than what 3rd world country the Imperial Army is nuking...

thebigkahuna
nice abuse of the bold feature.
all i said was that hockey has more action, dont get your panties all twisted. grab your purse mary.. time for u to leave.

idiot. go play in your sandbox.

As an American, I would tell the foreigners not to bother arguing the topic with Americans. It's going to turn out to be a generational thing. Today's adults are not going to like the sport, but wait 10-20 years when all those kids being driven around by their soccer mom's grow up and play and/or watch. There will be far more fans and far better talent.

(heehee - briz knows the real way to egg on the Euros about futbol is not to tell them it sucks, but to hint at them that someday the US will be really good)

Actually I'm wrong. The 10-1 game was the worst defeat. Austria beat Switzerland 7-5 for the most combined goals.

Soccer'd be more interesting to watch if they gave them paint ball guns to shoot at big breasted naked gals running around the field.

if i had a sandbox id play soccer in it

farking idiot...

do you like this bold too?

did i make fun of your sacred sport?
get over it..so what if most americans dont like it. so what if we think its too slow. so what if we think 1-0 games are snoozers all but 10 seconds of the match.

i played soccer in a large sandbox in Saudi Arabia..man that sucked, i dont advise it.

still trying to figure out the bold feature, sorry, only meant for your name.

Ita all about the field goals, baby.

It's all about noticing small spelling errors too.

oMfG 3y3 aM th3 l33t sp3ll0R!1!1!!!ONE!!!

Soccer was already being played by zillions of American kids 20+ years ago. So why is it not already popular?

I'm a yank. I think football(soccer) rules. Wearing my Theirry Henry shirt now. Anyone who seriously loves sports would be a fool to hate the "beautiful game." Take a look at the "Magia" showdown at if you want to be amazed.

link was here

OK time for a rant.

Soccer sucks emense amounts of ass. I'd rather watch golf, better chance of something exciting happening. Baseball has replaced soccer in popularity in nearly all central american and caribbean countries. The main stronghold for soccer is Europe, which is considered "old and busted." Soccer will NOT ever be as popular in the US or Canada as it is in Europe and Brazil and Argentina. Also baseball and american football are very popular in Japan.

/End rant, for now.

Durnk html killing me .. the vids are at www.nikefootball.com

That should be 12,000 - 18,000 of course. Only three zeros, not four.

Crabapple: the nike ads from the world cup, set to the techno-Elvis music? that video is amazing, all those players have so much ball skill

BTW, Soccer is a lot more intriguing and exciting if you play it on any level... you see a lot more, you respect the skill and get excited for all the solid plays that build up to a scoring chance. I think a majority of those who say soccer is boring makes that decision based upon reading the box score the next morning.

Got to love Terry Gilliam, even when he's doing a little commercial.