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(via Obscurestore)   Tiny town wonders how it got a strip club   (startribune.com) divider line 78
    More: Amusing  
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7295 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2001 at 4:16 PM (13 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2001-10-18 05:57:13 PM  
This has to be one of the funnies things I have ever read in the news. This story truly belongs on Fark.
 
2001-10-18 05:57:34 PM  
Last club I went to was in Orlando- Pandora's Box- appropriately named. Open it up and nasty things come out. Sat long enough for a woman close to fifty to come out in K-Mart lingere and try to strip to "A Country Boy Can Survive" while singing. Thats as close to Hell as I ever want to come.
 
2001-10-18 05:59:18 PM  
A meat market is a butcher shop =P
 
2001-10-18 06:10:40 PM  
BaconFarker: the line is from "Pecker." it's John Waters film from a couple of years ago. They show it on comedy central a lot, but that version is horribly edited.
 
2001-10-18 06:14:26 PM  
If any of you ever get to Tampa, you have got to go to the world renowned Mons Venus. Its on Dale Mabry Highway just south of Tampa Stadium. Top notch...seriously, it doesn't get any better
 
2001-10-18 06:16:24 PM  
Small town strippers with homemade tattoos
and 10 year old shoes
drink Dickel and Pabst and
dance to the blues.
 
2001-10-18 06:23:03 PM  
They should'a spray painted "Screw You Yuppies" on the front door.
haha
 
2001-10-18 06:25:17 PM  
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Feeling Minnesota"..doesn't it?..
Hey, Saywhat, the Mons rocks..the 2001 up the road isn't bad either..
 
2001-10-18 06:30:14 PM  
MacGabhain: Being so close to MSU and Gustavus, and being the only strip club so close,

Did Mettler's (in Mankato) get shut down? I haven't been in that neck of the woods for a few years now...there sure were some hotties at Mettler's. No bush there though. Just boobies and beer. Which ain't so bad...
 
2001-10-18 06:50:01 PM  
General Motors has given up on my town, but the strip clubs keep flourishing. Behold, the power of pussy.
 
2001-10-18 07:33:13 PM  
Hehe. Meat market experiencing growth. Hehe.
 
2001-10-18 08:00:50 PM  
I have a wonderous farking good idea! I think Farkers should send in their OWN boobie shots! Imagine, we can finally but a nice set of tits to a name? What do you guys think?
 
2001-10-18 08:16:20 PM  
ARE YOU SURE GIDEON???


[image from fagboy.com too old to be available]
 
2001-10-18 08:50:29 PM  
I wonder if they will biatch about the sales tax revenue?

Hell no.
 
2001-10-18 09:32:46 PM  
lol good plan gideon! I can deal with the man-breasts that are sure to show up to see some nice boobies.
 
2001-10-18 09:33:23 PM  
When I read this article, it reminded me of the episode of the Simpsons when Springfield discovers the Maison Derriere.
 
2001-10-18 09:44:40 PM  
There used to be a joint called the Golden Lion about 25 minutes outside of town here (miramichi, NB) - unfortunately it burnt down (accidentally or on purpose, I'm not sure) before i ever got to visit it.
 
2001-10-18 10:08:02 PM  
check out www.kappakabanna.com - a town of 500 has a first-class (or ass?) strip bar. They'll even drive your drunk ass home for 10 bucks!
 
2001-10-18 10:28:43 PM  
What's he building in there?
What the hell is he building
In there?
He has subscriptions to those
Magazines... He never
Waves when he goes by
He's hiding something from
The rest of us... He's all
To himself... I think I know
Why... He took down the
Tire swing from the Peppertree
He has no children of his
Own you see... He has no dog
And he has no friends and
His lawn is dying... and
What about all those packages
He sends. What's he building in there?
With that hook light
On the stairs. What's he building
In there... I'll tell you one thing
He's not building a playhouse for
The children what's he building
In there?

Now what's that sound from under the door?
He's pounding nails into a
Hardwood floor... and I
Swear to god I heard someone
Moaning low... and I keep
Seeing the blue light of a
T.V. show...
He has a router
And a table saw... and you
Won't believe what Mr. Sticha saw
There's poison underneath the sink
Of course... But there's also
Enough formaldehyde to choke
A horse... What's he building
In there. What the hell is he
Building in there? I heard he
Has an ex-wife in some place
Called Mayors Income, Tennessee
And he used to have a
consulting business in Indonesia...
but what is he building in there?
What the hell is building in there?

He has no friends
But he gets a lot of mail
I'll bet he spent a little
Time in jail...
I heard he was up on the
Roof last night
Signaling with a flashlight
And what's that tune he's
Always whistling...
What's he building in there?
What's he building in there?

We have a right to know...
 
2001-10-18 10:40:27 PM  
The town I grew up in (2,000 people) has a strip club now, and it caused quite the ruckus becuase it was in the middle of town across from the Jail/county courthouse and other municiple buildings. They have a policy if you are in your prison jumper you get free beer until you get caught.
I havn't had a chance to go but I want to just to see how many girls I went to High school with dance there. I remember going through the year book and trying to put wagers on who would probably be dancing there.
 
2001-10-18 11:15:06 PM  
I will not post.....I don't want to screw up the perfect number of posts.....Doh!!!
 
2001-10-19 12:09:06 AM  
SmokinJoe, that is the most frightening song lyric/poem I have ever, ever read.

small-town eyes...damn them! damn those eyes!
 
2001-10-19 01:44:51 AM  
What I think is funny is that what they did was perfectly legal. And now that it's done they are grandfathered. I like the line "If you go door to door" blah blah blah people just don't like it. Well SuperNintendo Chalmers, apparently 75-100 people per night seem to like it so stick to your farking job of manipulating it so it looks like your students have high test scores so the state can pay for your vacation to Tahiti. Just because you don't like something doesn't mean I can't. I do, by the way, live about a block away from a titty bar and I haven't seen any people pissing or emptying garbage from there in the street. However I also live by a Dairy Queen and a McDonalds and I see TONS of people emptying their cars of that kind of trash in parking lots and on the street. I guess I should try and get my city to get "those kinds of places" to move outside city limits. Do you know what kind of people actually eat there?! I mean I've seen toothless gross people eating there. In titty bars? Mainly it's people who can afford to throw down 250 bucks on an evening of entertainment. Who would you rather meet on a sidewalk at 1:30 in the morning? And by the way, what exactly are you doing on the sidewalk at 1:30 in the morning? Walking the dog? I think farking not.

Fark a duckk
 
2001-10-19 04:03:46 AM  
woo hoo that rocks!
I'm up at St.cloud state University (which is basically exacylt the same as mankato except 2.5 hrs north) and they pased some ordinace here makign full nudity our 2 strip clubs illegal! thats bullshiat! I hate stupid old people! they also tried to close down our porn shops... wtf..
 
2001-10-19 05:01:02 AM  
I don't understand nudity laws. If a girl wants to show her boobies it's up to her. If a guy doesn't want to look (cough, homo, cough) then he doesn't have to. Seriously, what else needs to be said? I say we need massive boobie reform in this country and more massive boobies in general for that matter. Call your congressman now!
 
2001-10-19 08:24:10 AM  
I'm picturing the Simpsons episode, where Bart gets a job in the strip club, and it finishes with a grand musical number, which convinces everyone it's all OK. But Marge bulldozes the place because she didn't hear it.
 
2001-10-19 08:56:14 AM  
Residents have been hot ever since.
 
2001-10-19 02:48:29 PM  
SmokinJoe ... i love the tom waits reference!
and as for the strippers... god bless them too.
 
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