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(The Onion)   Gay hordes are dragging people away from marriages after Obama drops Defense of Marriage Act   (theonion.com) divider line 114
    More: Satire, DOMA, marriages, Marriage Act  
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10605 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2011 at 11:23 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



114 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-02-27 02:28:52 AM
I know my marriage is now worthless.
 
2011-02-27 08:45:10 AM
The First Four Black Sabbath Albums I know my marriage is now worthless.

Keep in mind my sarcasm meter on the fritz...

So you have lost the love and devotion to your wife simply because the POTUS realizes that DOMA is not a viable, Constitutional, or equitable law to defend?

I am very sad for you.
 
2011-02-27 09:22:12 AM
I want to join a gay horde; what server do I log on to?
 
2011-02-27 10:15:42 AM
i221.photobucket.com

Let's get 'em, boys.
 
2011-02-27 10:17:44 AM

darkyn: I want to join a gay horde; what server do I log on to?


You're already here!
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
 
2011-02-27 10:46:38 AM

CougarJeff: You're already here!


Well, hmph. The graphics are great and seemingly no lag at all but there are no clear quests, absolutely no save points and leveling up seems to take forever.
 
2011-02-27 11:27:42 AM

darkyn: but there are no clear quests,


I read that as "queer quests" the first time, which actually made more sense given the context.
 
2011-02-27 11:27:59 AM
It amazes me how much people will care about things that do not affect them at all, like gay marriage, but sit meekly by and allow great injustices to be committed, like war or capitalism.
 
2011-02-27 11:29:35 AM
Gay banditos!
 
2011-02-27 11:29:58 AM

darkyn: CougarJeff: You're already here!

Well, hmph. The graphics are great and seemingly no lag at all but there are no clear quests, absolutely no save points and leveling up seems to take forever.




you're rewarded with toasters.
 
2011-02-27 11:31:05 AM
"Richard Dickson of Ames, Iowa. We're coming for you next. Put on something nice."

i don't care who you are, that's funny.
 
2011-02-27 11:31:12 AM

illegal.tender: It amazes me how much people will care about things that do not affect them at all, like gay marriage, but sit meekly by and allow great injustices to be committed, like war or capitalism.


That is because the corporations are helping our immortal souls.

"And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."
 
2011-02-27 11:31:44 AM
Save us, Fred Phelps, you're our only hope!
 
2011-02-27 11:32:11 AM
No wonder me and the missus were squabbling.
 
2011-02-27 11:32:34 AM
Speaking only for myself, I think I died a little inside when I realized that we, as a nation no longer respected the sanctity of this hallowed institution:
www.pbs.org
 
2011-02-27 11:33:09 AM
 
2011-02-27 11:36:59 AM
That's an (area) man, baby!
 
2011-02-27 11:37:01 AM
Cram it in the boot.
 
2011-02-27 11:37:10 AM
DRTFA, I was too busy divorcing and blowing dudes.
 
2011-02-27 11:38:49 AM

illegal.tender: It amazes me how much people will care about things that do not affect them at all, like gay marriage, but sit meekly by and allow great injustices to be committed, like war or capitalism.


Well, hating gays is in the bible. Bible doesn't say anything about killing people or money though.
 
2011-02-27 11:41:13 AM
/Gay Horde?
 
2011-02-27 11:51:55 AM
If I'm rewarded with toasters, can mine be Tricia Hefler?
 
2011-02-27 11:54:19 AM
I wonder if the author will still be so snarky whe he stands before God.
 
2011-02-27 11:55:19 AM
I'm still looking for anything in the Bible where Jesus or God is directly quoted saying anything negative about gays.
 
2011-02-27 11:57:30 AM
Why aren't they covering the REAL story: Teh gays are forcing gay polygamy and marriage to animals and cousins!! Damn librul media not reporting everything. Even Fox News won't cover it. The libruls must've gotten them too. Have you seen their talks lately? They sometimes have more than one librul on their show. It's getting too left-sided. Save us Rand Paul!
 
2011-02-27 12:03:36 PM

MaestroJ: Why aren't they covering the REAL story: Teh gaysHomosexuals are forcing gayHomosexual polygamy and marriage to animals and cousins!! Damn librul media not reporting everything. Even Fox News won't cover it. The libruls must've gotten them too. Have you seen their talks lately? They sometimes have more than one librul on their show. It's getting too left-sided. Save us Rand Paul!


/FTFY
 
2011-02-27 12:04:24 PM
It's a slippery slope. (video)
 
2011-02-27 12:05:47 PM
A gay horde would make for a good flash game, something along the lines of this:
Link (new window)
but more fabulous!
 
2011-02-27 12:09:29 PM
This is an outrage!
 
2011-02-27 12:09:35 PM

RediixOne: /Gay Horde?


Gay Vikings?.

/I'm waiting on the bisexual Valkyries, thanks
 
2011-02-27 12:12:26 PM
This is what anti-gay fundamentalists really believe.

The attractions of gay sex are so great that nobody can resist them.

Mind you, all anti-gay fundamentalists are crypt queens so they would be.
 
2011-02-27 12:14:44 PM

illegal.tender: It amazes me how much people will care about things that do not affect them at all, like gay marriage, but sit meekly by and allow great injustices to be committed, like war or capitalism.


OK, color me curious: how is any war currently taking place affecting you? Are you posting from somewhere there's actual fighting, and you need to avoid combat? Are troops being quartered in your home?

Or is this just another example of "car[ing] about things that do not affect them at all"?
 
2011-02-27 12:16:19 PM
I saw a bunch of mincing footprints in the snow this morning. Now I know where they came from. Must have been a gay horde in the area.
 
2011-02-27 12:18:15 PM
gerrymander:
OK, color me curious: how is any war currently taking place affecting you?

Hmm, he might be helping pay for something mindbogglingly expensive, which he finds brutal, appalling, and wasteful. War is about the most expensive thing a country can do. Also the most horrific. Not a good combo.
 
2011-02-27 12:26:43 PM
a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net

FOR THE HORDE!
 
2011-02-27 12:30:51 PM
I'm so thcared.
 
2011-02-27 12:42:04 PM
You all do realize that Obama didn't overturn anything, right? A president can't over turn a law. Either the Supreme Court has to rule the law unconstitutional, or Congress has to repeal it.

All he did was tell the Justice Dept. not to enforce it.

/just sayin'
//if a Republican pres. told the Justice Dept. not to enforce a standing law, the libs would be screaming for his head.
 
2011-02-27 12:44:10 PM

40yoVirgin: The First Four Black Sabbath Albums I know my marriage is now worthless.

Keep in mind my sarcasm meter on the fritz...

So you have lost the love and devotion to your wife simply because the POTUS realizes that DOMA is not a viable, Constitutional, or equitable law to defend?

I am very sad for you.


Um...you really shouldn't take anyone seriously who says gay marriage threatens their own marriage. Even if they are being serious.
 
2011-02-27 12:48:03 PM

sarahthustra: "Richard Dickson of Ames, Iowa. We're coming for you next. Put on something nice."

i don't care who you are, that's funny.


Is it? I'm kind of a humor snob. It didn't even make me smile. Sorry.
 
2011-02-27 12:48:31 PM

No Such Agency: gerrymander:
OK, color me curious: how is any war currently taking place affecting you?

Hmm, he might be helping pay for something mindbogglingly expensive, which he finds brutal, appalling, and wasteful. War is about the most expensive thing a country can do. Also the most horrific. Not a good combo.


Ah! But that's a problem, isn't it? If we open up the definition
of "affect" to be that broad, we also must address the effect allowing gay marriage will have on the government. As in: less taxes from estates due to spousal exceptions; more tax exemptions/credits for gay parents; more cost from medical insurance coverage; more need for adoption services. Over time, that will certainly be as much as a war (even if it is in no way as brutal).

All of that gets passed along to the general population, be they gay marriage supporters, opposers, or indifferent. That means the pro-Prop 8 types have a valid complaint by saying gay marriage affects them personally. Right?
 
2011-02-27 12:48:38 PM

janzee: I'm so thcared.


Thith
 
2011-02-27 12:53:56 PM

illegal.tender: It amazes me how much people will care about things that do not affect them at all, like gay marriage, but sit meekly by and allow great injustices to be committed, like war or capitalism.


The first step to understanding the behavior of others is to accept that many people do not see things as you do. For example, knowing that many people do not regard capitalism as a great injustice, you ought not to be amazed that many do not oppose it.

As you grow able to embrace the concept of there being minds in the world other than your own, the everyday behavior of your fell man will cease to amaze you.

Note that this stage is ordinarily reached shortly after potty training, so unless you are wearing a diaper you should feel some urgency to catch up with the rest of us.
 
2011-02-27 12:54:10 PM

brianbankerus: Is it? I'm kind of a humor snob. It didn't even make me smile. Sorry.


no reason to be sorry.

to bad about the snob thing, though. it's kind of a sad way to live your life.
 
2011-02-27 12:55:33 PM
On a related story there, I see they've finally managed to kill God. More of a mercy killing I'd say, guy was on his last leg.
 
2011-02-27 12:57:40 PM

gerrymander: No Such Agency: gerrymander:
OK, color me curious: how is any war currently taking place affecting you?

Hmm, he might be helping pay for something mindbogglingly expensive, which he finds brutal, appalling, and wasteful. War is about the most expensive thing a country can do. Also the most horrific. Not a good combo.

Ah! But that's a problem, isn't it? If we open up the definition
of "affect" to be that broad, we also must address the effect allowing gay marriage will have on the government. As in: less taxes from estates due to spousal exceptions; more tax exemptions/credits for gay parents; more cost from medical insurance coverage; more need for adoption services. Over time, that will certainly be as much as a war (even if it is in no way as brutal).

All of that gets passed along to the general population, be they gay marriage supporters, opposers, or indifferent. That means the pro-Prop 8 types have a valid complaint by saying gay marriage affects them personally. Right?


But it's okay for gay men and women to pay the same taxes as you and me and not get the same benefits. they pay the same income, Social Security, payroll, sales taxes as me and you , but we are denying them the same benefits. Nice.
 
2011-02-27 01:00:32 PM

gerrymander: illegal.tender: It amazes me how much people will care about things that do not affect them at all, like gay marriage, but sit meekly by and allow great injustices to be committed, like war or capitalism.

OK, color me curious: how is any war currently taking place affecting you? Are you posting from somewhere there's actual fighting, and you need to avoid combat? Are troops being quartered in your home?

Or is this just another example of "car[ing] about things that do not affect them at all"?


i think it has to do more with his comment "but sit meekly by and allow great injustices to be committed" in regards to war

/as for his comment in regards to capitalism, well, i'll let him defend himself on that one.
 
2011-02-27 01:02:42 PM

studebaker hoch: I'm still looking for anything in the Bible where Jesus or God is directly quoted saying anything negative about gays.



"I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left. Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left. Two men shall be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left."

-Luke 17:35

Take "two men in one bed" however you will (or "two women grinding together" for that matter), but each example is giving the same treatment...one taken, one left...so it would seem that Christ would treat homosexuals the same as everyone else (as he did with the people labeled "sinners and publicans" by the popular religious groups of the time.)

So why do christians want to (and fight tooth-and-nail to) treat homosexuals differently? Simple answer: modern christians have very little in common with Christ's teachings or examples, if anything at all.

/John 13:34-35
 
2011-02-27 01:04:00 PM

gerrymander: No Such Agency: gerrymander:
OK, color me curious: how is any war currently taking place affecting you?

Hmm, he might be helping pay for something mindbogglingly expensive, which he finds brutal, appalling, and wasteful. War is about the most expensive thing a country can do. Also the most horrific. Not a good combo.

Ah! But that's a problem, isn't it? If we open up the definition
of "affect" to be that broad, we also must address the effect allowing gay marriage will have on the government. As in: less taxes from estates due to spousal exceptions; more tax exemptions/credits for gay parents; more cost from medical insurance coverage; more need for adoption services. Over time, that will certainly be as much as a war (even if it is in no way as brutal).

All of that gets passed along to the general population, be they gay marriage supporters, opposers, or indifferent. That means the pro-Prop 8 types have a valid complaint by saying gay marriage affects them personally. Right?


Yes... it's okay to give tax breaks to the heterosexual christians, but not those deviant homos...

That is the very foundation of what this is about, is getting the same damn benefits that every body else gets and not being treated like a second class citizen.
 
2011-02-27 01:05:06 PM

fortheloveofgod: All he did was tell the Justice Dept. not to enforce it.


No, he told the DOJ not to defend it's appeal. He explicitly said it would still be enforced as long as it was still law.
 
2011-02-27 01:18:31 PM
Jesus Christ it's a dandy lion! Get in the car!

/Got nothin'
 
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