Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(eMode.com)   What do your coffee preferences say about you?   (emode.com) divider line 60
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

5251 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2001 at 3:07 PM (13 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2001-10-18 03:13:28 PM  
Boobies!
Regular JOE?!?

They don't let me choose. I grind my coffee beans in the morning, each morning..

they assume I stand in line at a corporate ho' coffee dispensery..

There is no line to the expresso machine at my house..

infidels.
 
2001-10-18 03:13:43 PM  
Lame... you gotta register with EMODE to get the detailed results... screw that.
 
2001-10-18 03:16:02 PM  
I want those 5 minutes back.
 
2001-10-18 03:16:22 PM  
Just call me sophisticated. Nah nah nah! :)~
 
2001-10-18 03:18:03 PM  
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was already registered! I'm a realist by the way.
 
2001-10-18 03:18:52 PM  
amen, BigKahuna and Jerkychew! there was a time you didnt have to register at emode.. what kinda crap is that?
oh and why does this kinda crap get posted anyways? Its not like emode.com is new...
 
2001-10-18 03:19:46 PM  
The inevitable...

i like muh wimins like i likes muh cofees. strong black, and wet.
 
43%
2001-10-18 03:20:20 PM  
I'm R2D2!!!!
 
2001-10-18 03:21:27 PM  
I'm a realist I guess but screw it if I know what that means now, because I'm not registering for some other crappy thing...

I want those 5 minutes back that I could have used for drinking a cup of coffee instead.
 
2001-10-18 03:21:28 PM  
I don;t drink coffee. I guess that means I have no life.
 
2001-10-18 03:21:51 PM  
Wraith - hot, cold or tepid??
 
2001-10-18 03:21:54 PM  
I am a realist..woo

There is no line to the espresso machine at my house either...probably cuz there isn't an espresso machine.
 
2001-10-18 03:25:16 PM  
my espresso machine is in the shop.
 
2001-10-18 03:30:46 PM  
F*ck those C*cksuckers and their stupid test. I drink coffee. Stronger, the better. What do I put in it? -MORE COFFEE WHEN THE CUP GETS EMPTY. What do I read with it SOLDIER OF FORTUNE. How many cups a day do I drink? WHAT AM I? A MATHEMATICIAN???
 
2001-10-18 03:31:48 PM  
I thought it was Strong Black and Bitter?

I have a cuisinart Grind-n-Brew.. Yeah baby..
 
2001-10-18 03:34:53 PM  
Asmor: You are correct. (j/k :)
 
2001-10-18 03:35:58 PM  
I recently stopped drinking coffee; more or less. I've gone from anywhere from 4 to 10 cups a day to 1 cup a week. And let me tell you, I don't feel better. I feel like, even after a month of this, my mind has slowed down to some snail's pace. I can't think the same way I used to. I drink just enough caffeine in the day to keep the headaches at bay, no more. I drink decaf. Oh god, I hate my farking life.
 
2001-10-18 03:36:49 PM  
43% lol! i remember that one. i was obi wan.

my results:

"The Realist
Dark, strong, genuine. Is that you or your coffee? To the casual observer, there's really no difference. How you take your coffee provides people with a small window into your personality. Here's what one might see...

Straightforward and uncomplicated, your coffee-style says that you approach daily tasks and the world at large with realistic expectations and a no-nonsense attitude. You don't sugarcoat things, and you definitely don't beat around the bush. Bells and whistles aren't your style. You take comfort in routine, and you might get a little flustered when big change looms on the horizon. You're reliable and dependable. If someone had to pick an advisor or confidant based solely on his/her coffee preference, you would be at the top of the list. Most likely, you value truth and sincerity above all and lead a reflective life."

this test shows a remarkable lack of basic coffee knowledge. one question asks if you like long or short espresso shots. espresso shots should be 18 - 23 seconds long and used within 10 seconds--that's it. very few baristas even know this simple fact.
 
2001-10-18 03:37:34 PM  
[image from img.fark.com too old to be available]
 
2001-10-18 03:38:35 PM  
True story:

I worked in an office with my dad years ago. His girlfriend brought in a huge potted plant. Everyday, since our office was adjacent to a restaurant, we had all the coffee we could drink, served in those Thermos type carafes.

A few weeks after the arrival of the potted plant, we noticed that it had started to take on monstrous proportions and bizarre offshoots. Some of the leaves were like, 10 times bigger than the others, some were Dark green, some lime green. Little lightning bolt-shaped stems started to shoot out. We had NO idea what it was.

Then one weekend I went to the office. My dad was already there. He said he'd go over and get a fresh pot of coffee. He stands up and pours the cold coffee out of the carafe, into the plant.

I said something to him about it and he laughed and said he hated that plant and was trying to kill it. Instead he became proud of his new 'monster'. Damn thing is still alive today. So's the plant.

Makes you wonder what coffee does to your insides.

OK. Storytime's over. Take a nap.
 
2001-10-18 03:39:55 PM  
What does it say about your personality if you don't like coffee?
 
2001-10-18 03:40:39 PM  
I'm a sweetheart! awwww
 
2001-10-18 03:42:37 PM  
It said I was a whiny b.itch. Whaaaaaaaaa?
 
2001-10-18 03:44:13 PM  
Bigpeeler: that is twisted. i'm gonna try that with my.. uh, house plants.
 
2001-10-18 03:46:34 PM  
What if you don't drink coffee?
 
2001-10-18 03:46:58 PM  
I start every day with a "sludge cup." Sixteen ounces of coffee with a double shot of espresso thrown in for good measure.

YUM!
 
2001-10-18 03:48:10 PM  
I'm a realist. I have an espresso machine at my house, _BUT_ I never use it. Hell, I don't drink coffee very often. Every time I do however it's usually a triple espresso.
 
2001-10-18 03:56:58 PM  
bigpeeler,
probably had more to do with uneven pH levels in the soil from the coffee than the coffee itself.
 
2001-10-18 04:00:10 PM  
What if you don't drink coffee?

No doubt. Silly test if you dont include people who think it tastes like tar.
 
2001-10-18 04:01:56 PM  
Coffee grounds are good for roses
Maybe the actual coffee helped that plant
 
2001-10-18 04:06:37 PM  
Bah. My fiance and I go through a full 12 cup pot in the morning before work. (we both leave by 8) Then we drink at least a full 12 cup pot at night, if not more. That doesn't even count what we each consume during the day between 8 am and 5. The "more than 3 cups" answer should have allowed you to say for instance - more than 3 cups in 20 mins. or something like that. BTW, my results for the test = "Go Getter"
 
2001-10-18 04:07:23 PM  
Mine said I am a psychotic with murderous tendencies
 
2001-10-18 04:09:48 PM  
holy crap, permas, you two must be midgets! doesnt it stunt your growth? (oh and yes I know the politically correct term for midgets is 'goblins')
 
2001-10-18 04:19:54 PM  
goddamnit, i hate these farking tests! you spend time taking them, and then, at the end, they say "you can only view your results if you join our site." fark that.
 
2001-10-18 04:21:38 PM  
My test results say that I am a midget albino rabbit. I wonder how it knows.
 
2001-10-18 04:29:17 PM  
I don't drink no stinkin coffee... Unless there's a shot or two in it... mmmm
 
2001-10-18 04:38:42 PM  
It said I was "quite the sophisticate," but I think the results were skewed because some of the questions were flawed. I don't normally buy coffee at a coffeehouse in the morning. When I make coffee at home, I use my little stovetop espresso maker, and I add lots of sugar. If it's just regular coffee, I drink it black. I don't normally buy the fru-fru drinks because they have too much farking milk in them.

Waste of 5 minutes.
 
2001-10-18 04:42:58 PM  
i used to drink hella espresso, and now i only have coffee so often. but, the weird thing is, i dont get much of a caffeine rush at all, and if i stop drinking it for a long time, i never get caffeine withdrawal. odd.
 
2001-10-18 04:43:18 PM  
I don""'t underrr/standdddd itttt. tHis Farkkkkkkkigng thing say's I have ann adictctctive personallity. Sorry forrr alllklkl the typos. I get a littleee shshsakey after ///my 22 cup of java. JYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!
 
2001-10-18 04:55:18 PM  
Regular joe. Since I don't have any fancy coffee machines in my house, and i just drink boring old Folgers classic with real cream, this doesn't surprise me.
 
2001-10-18 05:33:12 PM  
I drink the right kinda coffee so that I can always come up with lyrics rhyming "Osama" with "yo' mama." As long as I can do that, I know I can face the world.

Boo Radley, Saraland, Alabama
 
2001-10-18 05:37:43 PM  
Four pages of questions to be told, "sign up and we'll tell you what kind of coffee drinker you are". Fark you, I'm the kind of coffee drinker that doesn't fall for lame ass attempts to get me to subscribeto your shiat.
 
2001-10-18 05:39:26 PM  
Who the @#$% posted this, the emode membership committee?
 
2001-10-18 05:42:03 PM  
I actually predicted my results before they were revealed, somebody call The Sun.
 
2001-10-18 05:51:03 PM  
wait a second, we can't all be realists.
 
2001-10-18 05:54:41 PM  
IT CALLED ME A HOMO!!!!

Okay, not really. I'm a Regular Joe. That's right, woman.
 
2001-10-18 06:21:04 PM  
Ok, so I am the kind of coffee drinker that drinks her coffee while filling out silly forms that wont allow me to finish with out joining something I don't want to join.

Looks like I stick with strong, black, with two.....oh...and my coffee is the same..
 
2001-10-18 06:27:10 PM  
This "test" is more of a membership drive I imagine...

I feel so dirty inside
 
2001-10-18 06:28:38 PM  
I can't stand the stuff and I'd choose cold stale horse piss over coffee if pushed.
 
2001-10-18 06:35:58 PM  
Had 1 cup in the Army - nasty nasty shait. Get my caffiene cold now - Diet Coke with lemon..................
 
Displayed 50 of 60 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report