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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Do you moisturize? Are you a male? You failed the test and must turn in your man card immediately   (suntimes.com) divider line 317
    More: Amusing, Marlboro, SPF, youth cultures, Nordstrom, sunscreens, wives and girlfriends, Robert Verdi  
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18354 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2011 at 12:52 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



317 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-02-27 01:10:50 PM  

skantea: My skin looks great and my girl appreciates it.


I'm glad your daughter likes it but what does your boyfriend think?
 
2011-02-27 01:10:54 PM  

dholway: Does bukkake count as moisturizing?


You are a dude that moisturizes with other dude's semen and wondering if you are gay?
 
2011-02-27 01:11:13 PM  

UNC_Samurai: There's nothing wrong with a pumice stone, especially if your feet are susceptible to calluses


I don't get that, the callous is protecting my feet from their regular wear and tear, building them up after not having them is a serious pain. Why would I want to remove them artificially?
 
2011-02-27 01:11:30 PM  
Working with carb' cleaner and other solvents while rebuilding small engines tends to dry out your hands -- as does the disinfectant we use to clean the ambulances, and the alcohol based hand sanitizer at the hospital.

I'm pretty sure using this:
www.yodersmart.com
allows me to keep my man card.
 
2011-02-27 01:11:41 PM  
I have no shame in moisturizing. I live in Denver where we average -10% humidity.
I run, bike and ski. My skin usually has a nice chalk like feel and look.
And during mountain bike season, my knuckles and fingers will sometimes dry and crack so bad they bleed.
/it's dry here
 
2011-02-27 01:11:47 PM  
Real men were born with better genetics so they don't need all that stuff.

I don't use lotion, soap, shampoo, conditioner or lip balm. I just shower every day and I'm golden.
 
2011-02-27 01:11:59 PM  

FarkinHostile: I'll moisturize my hands so when I give a massage I have nice soft skin, and my face so it doesn't turn to leather as I get older. I also shave off all my body hair, and wear deodorant.


You sound pretty.
 
2011-02-27 01:12:40 PM  
I shower every couple weeks. Does that count?
 
2011-02-27 01:12:43 PM  
If you think a card is what makes a man, you're not one.
 
2011-02-27 01:12:54 PM  
FTA: "Men like to be serviced where they shop - in men's departments," says Cheri Botiz, Nordstrom national beauty director

Nordstrom provides hookers now?
 
2011-02-27 01:13:35 PM  
The only oil that touches my skin is 10W-40.

Homos.
 
2011-02-27 01:13:36 PM  

ThematicDevice: UNC_Samurai: There's nothing wrong with a pumice stone, especially if your feet are susceptible to calluses

I don't get that, the callous is protecting my feet from their regular wear and tear, building them up after not having them is a serious pain. Why would I want to remove them artificially?


Because they are un-feminine.
 
2011-02-27 01:13:55 PM  
As others have said, my knuckles will bleed in the winter unless i use hand moisturizer. No, that's not an exaggeration. My forearms get close to bleeding too if i don't moisturize them as well.
 
2011-02-27 01:14:27 PM  

dholway: Does bukkake count as moisturizing?


Only if you're a gay man or a woman.
 
2011-02-27 01:15:03 PM  
Try a bad bout with eczema in a dry Minnesota winter and we'll see how "macho" you feel walking around looking and feeling like a giant rash.

For the hands
img638.imageshack.us

For everything else
img638.imageshack.us
 
2011-02-27 01:15:14 PM  

thenateman: Real men were born with better genetics so they don't need all that stuff.

I don't use lotion, soap, shampoo, conditioner or lip balm. I just shower every day and I'm golden.


I like golden showers also.

Wanna come over?
 
2011-02-27 01:15:54 PM  
I use husk-killer so it's ok.
 
2011-02-27 01:16:15 PM  

dholway: Women dig guys with chapped lips.


My hubby used to make fun of the sticks of chapstick conveniently located wherever I was, his lips were never chapped. Until he had to travel and was away for several days, and noticed all of a sudden he needed chapstick.

Apparently a lack of sucking face with a chapstick user makes applying it yourself a necessity!
 
2011-02-27 01:16:49 PM  
Didn't a lot of moisturizers initially come from pretty rough conditions? Vaseline was originally used by oil workers iirc.
 
2011-02-27 01:16:52 PM  

yelmrog: FarkinHostile: I'll moisturize my hands so when I give a massage I have nice soft skin, and my face so it doesn't turn to leather as I get older. I also shave off all my body hair, and wear deodorant.

You sound pretty.




Thank you. (bats eyes)
 
2011-02-27 01:16:53 PM  
Count me on the moisturize crowd Nivea @ Target. Winter dries my skin out like crazy, and my fiance doesn't really like my rough, chapped hands.
 
2011-02-27 01:17:08 PM  

etymxris: As others have said, my knuckles will bleed in the winter unless i use hand moisturizer. No, that's not an exaggeration. My forearms get close to bleeding too if i don't moisturize them as well.


Part of the reason I moved to the most humid part of the South. Living in Chicago, winters were pure hell on my skin. Yeah- I'd literally bleed at points when it got so dry.

You can have my man card, but I prefer to not be in constant pain all over my body all day...
 
2011-02-27 01:17:44 PM  
I'm man enough to know I want this:

img.photobucket.com
 
2011-02-27 01:17:49 PM  
Scum in a bottle-- yum.
 
2011-02-27 01:18:23 PM  
If petrolatum isn't listed in the ingredients, it's useless and actually makes my hands worse.
 
2011-02-27 01:20:10 PM  
I don't moisturize any more but when I first started shaving my head I did regularly. Mind you its fairly humid even in winter where I live so its not really a concern yet and nothing is ever dry.

I am more concerned about having a good shampoo, beard dandruff is irritating.
 
2011-02-27 01:21:14 PM  

ThematicDevice: UNC_Samurai: There's nothing wrong with a pumice stone, especially if your feet are susceptible to calluses

I don't get that, the callous is protecting my feet from their regular wear and tear, building them up after not having them is a serious pain. Why would I want to remove them artificially?


This. Same thing goes for the callous that protects my fingers when I'm playing guitar.

Actually, I knew a musician named Judy (she played various stringed instruments) who went to get a manicure, and the manicurists removed her callouses. Once Judy realized what happened she punched the manicurist. And honestly considering the pain it is to build that up again, I don't blame her.
/csb
 
2011-02-27 01:21:31 PM  

db2: I use hand lotion because I don't particularly enjoy having blood erupt from my knuckles during the winter.


Ditto. Went through half a bottle of scent-free Aveeno this winter. Other, scented lotions irritate my nose *and* sting like hell when my hands are already cracked and bloody.
 
2011-02-27 01:21:41 PM  

Roja Herring: I'm pretty sure the fact that I have sex with women makes me not gay.


...or merely a clever disguise.
 
2011-02-27 01:22:09 PM  
Does wearing lipstick and doing the mangina disqualify me? How about wearing this woman-suit, huh?
 
2011-02-27 01:23:47 PM  
Ah, "Man Card" the good ole days of being 14 and terrified of what others might think about you.
 
2011-02-27 01:25:07 PM  
I exfoliate explosively.
 
2011-02-27 01:26:23 PM  
"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."
That guy seemed kind of gay.
 
2011-02-27 01:26:36 PM  

Gwyrddu:

Actually, I knew a musician named Judy (she played various stringed instruments) who went to get a manicure, and the manicurists removed her callouses. Once Judy realized what happened she punched the manicurist. And honestly considering the pain it is to build that up again, I don't blame her.
/csb



So, let me get this straight: A musician, who KNOWS the importance of her callouses, goes for a manicure, A well known part of which is to remove callouses, didn't tell the manicurist not to remove said callouses, didn't even notice it happening till it was too late, and then assaulted the manicurist for doing her job?

Not only do I blame her, I have a hard time believing it. How do you not notice someone sandpapering off your skin, skin that is vital to her job?
 
2011-02-27 01:27:11 PM  

ultraholland: Does wearing lipstick and doing the mangina disqualify me? How about wearing this woman-suit, huh?


That depends. Did you make it out of *real* women?
 
2011-02-27 01:27:13 PM  
oblig: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yQ9a-hJVy0
 
2011-02-27 01:27:49 PM  

ultraholland: Does wearing lipstick and doing the mangina disqualify me? How about wearing this woman-suit, huh?


You can still keep your man card as long as you keep the lotion in the basket.
 
2011-02-27 01:28:09 PM  
www.sheckymagazine.com

"You ever read the ingredients in sunblock? I've never seen those words anywhere. You don't even know what you're putting on your face, do you? You go, "Oh no, the sun's out!" It could be zebra cum; you don't know. You may not like that joke, but you don't know."
 
2011-02-27 01:29:23 PM  
There is a big difference between keeping your elbows from becoming 100 grit sandpaper and having an entire cabinet full of moisturizing products.

/The latter has to turn in his man card.
//The former gets a bonus 3-way if he uses his elbows to rough sand a hand-worked canoe paddle.
 
2011-02-27 01:31:05 PM  

Fireproof: db2: I use hand lotion because I don't particularly enjoy having blood erupt from my knuckles during the winter.

This. If you don't need to do this at least once every few weeks, you probably don't wash your hands after going to the bathroom.

/Or maybe you live someplace really warm


double-this
 
2011-02-27 01:31:24 PM  
What a bunch of pussies. When I was young if our hands were dry we would go out and kill a bear with only a paring knife(how the bear got the paring knife I'll never know) and then use the bear fat for our hands. In order to protect our faces when it got to 40 below (in August) we would tie a couple of live ferrets on either side.
You guys today are just a bunch of sissies, you're probably all gay from eating too much estrogen laced beef. Go out and kill a moose to eat and you might start to feel a bit more masculine.
 
2011-02-27 01:32:32 PM  
My bathroom has a bar of soap. I use it to wash my hair as well. I get one of those 10 pack value packs and I'm good for the rest of the year.

I don't really care what some other people use though. I used to use concealer when I was younger if I had acne. I'll probably use these moisturizers when I'm older if I'm still in the game.
 
2011-02-27 01:32:56 PM  

FarkinHostile: Gwyrddu:

Actually, I knew a musician named Judy (she played various stringed instruments) who went to get a manicure, and the manicurists removed her callouses. Once Judy realized what happened she punched the manicurist. And honestly considering the pain it is to build that up again, I don't blame her.
/csb


So, let me get this straight: A musician, who KNOWS the importance of her callouses, goes for a manicure, A well known part of which is to remove callouses, didn't tell the manicurist not to remove said callouses, didn't even notice it happening till it was too late, and then assaulted the manicurist for doing her job?

Not only do I blame her, I have a hard time believing it. How do you not notice someone sandpapering off your skin, skin that is vital to her job?


She was from a small town of Hibbing so it was her first manicure, she apparently didn't know that the process involved removing her callouses and the manicurists didn't tell her. I don't know from the story why she didn't notice they were sandpapering off her callouses though.
 
2011-02-27 01:33:01 PM  

Biological Ali: Roja Herring: I'm pretty sure the fact that I have sex with women makes me not gay.

...or merely a clever disguise.


*holds finger to lips* I'll never tell!
 
2011-02-27 01:33:06 PM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2011-02-27 01:33:42 PM  
www.shtuffforbikers.com
 
2011-02-27 01:34:42 PM  

Cheesus: I shower every couple weeks. Does that count?


GAY
 
2011-02-27 01:34:55 PM  
Ha ha. Wow. A lot of hardcore knee-jerk defensiveness and rationalizing in here. Good job subby. Most headlines about moisturizer would get about 3 comments.
 
2011-02-27 01:37:24 PM  
images.eonline.com

Outside a window: Turk and Virgil jump up and down on
opposite bumpers of a van, testing its durability.

Inside, Frank negotiates with BILLY TIM, a Cal-
Worthingtonesque redneck car dealer, who half-pays
attention to him, half-frets over the Malloys outside.

BILLY TIM
I'm sorry: eighteen-five each is
the best offer I can make you.

FRANK
(playing a bit of
a dandy)
Oh, I understand perfectly. They
are beautiful vans. Well, I thank
you for your time, Mister...?

BILLY TIM
Denham. Billy Tim Denham.

FRANK
Yes, Denham, like a jean.
(they shake)
You know: you have lovely hands
-- do you moisturize?

BILLY TIM
I'm sorry?

Frank's not letting go of the man's hand, the object now
is to force Billy Tim into lowering his price just to get
Frank out of his office.

FRANK
I swear by it. I try all sorts of
lotions. I went through a
fragrance-free period last year,
but now I'm liking this new brand
fortified with rose hip. My
sister, you know, she uses the
aloe vera with the sun screen
built in...

BILLY TIM
(just can't get
his hand back)
Uh-huh. You said you'd be willing
to pay in cash?

FRANK
I did. You know: they say
cinnamon is wonderful for your
pores. Read that on the internet.
And that ideally you should be
wearing gloves to bed, but I find
that would interfere with my
social agenda. Problem is: I get
a reaction to camphor so I can't
use traditional remedies...

BILLY TIM
If you could pay cash, I could
probably drop the price a little.
To, say, seventeen...
(as Frank squeezes
a little)
... sixteen each.

FRANK
(big smile)
That would be lovely.
 
2011-02-27 01:38:21 PM  
does this count?

media.dermstore.com
 
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