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(My Fox Dallas)   "The man puts his penis between the woman's legs and inside her vagina. After a while, a white liquid shoots out of the man's penis and into the woman's vagina. The liquid is full of millions of sperm." Ah, kids books   (myfoxdfw.com) divider line 285
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25022 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2011 at 5:57 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-02-24 08:59:07 PM  
So, shiatty parenting and a woman who is offended by the truth make for a non-story.

Gotchya.
 
2011-02-24 09:12:46 PM  
"...and then Spam comes out!"

/had forgotten about that scene in Singles.
 
2011-02-24 09:20:04 PM  
Every parent has not only a right, but also a responsibility, to decide what's appropriate for their own children to read.

Would you look at that.
 
2011-02-24 09:23:06 PM  
I've always considered myself open minded. And I knew without a doubt when I read it that this was wrong. It's inappropriate for that age group," Schifferdecker said.


When you consider yourself something, usually, you ain't.
 
2011-02-24 09:28:46 PM  
Oh please....what the hell is wrong with people? Some parents think their kids _should_ know the facts of life earlier rather than later and there's absolutely nothing wrong with having books in the library geared to meeting those families' needs. If you don't think your kids are ready to learn such things or have objections on religious grounds or whatever, then quit treating the library as your personal babysitter and actually play the part of a _parent_ and monitor what your kids are reading there. Simple, no? Take a little personal responsibility for how your kids are raised, realize that not everyone shares your ideas of what is and isn't appropriate for a child to read, and don't expect everyone to comply with your values just so you lazily don't have to take an active hand in parenting.
 
2011-02-24 09:35:25 PM  
So wait.. all these years I've been filling up tube socks, when in fact that stuff was supposed to get deposited in a woman's dirty naughty area?

Why didn't anyone tell me about this book?
 
2011-02-24 09:49:08 PM  
markie_farkie: all these years I've been filling up tube socks

murderer
 
2011-02-24 10:07:17 PM  

markie_farkie: So wait.. all these years I've been filling up tube socks, when in fact that stuff was supposed to get deposited in a woman's dirty naughty area?

Why didn't anyone tell me about this book?


Dude, wash them after a couple uses.
 
2011-02-24 10:36:57 PM  
FTA: "She took them to the library about a month and the 9 year old picked out a book titled, 'My Mom's Having a Baby.'"

I like a trip to the library as much as the next fellow, but staying for a month just seems a little excessive to me.
 
2011-02-24 10:52:02 PM  
www.freeimagehosting.net

And THAT'S where the white liquid comes from.
 
2011-02-24 11:43:06 PM  

cksewell: markie_farkie: So wait.. all these years I've been filling up tube socks, when in fact that stuff was supposed to get deposited in a woman's dirty naughty area?

Why didn't anyone tell me about this book?

Dude, wash them after a couple uses.


After a few dozen uses, you can stand them up on their own. If you do a bunch of them that way, you can have a little Terra Cotta Army of spermy socks.
 
2011-02-24 11:45:59 PM  
Well, they left out the part about negotiating the price with the woman, but otherwise, sounds pretty accurate to me.
 
2011-02-24 11:46:55 PM  
I'm guessing this headline is news to most farkers.
 
2011-02-24 11:51:10 PM  

Bradog: Well, they left out the part about negotiating the price with the woman, but otherwise, sounds pretty accurate to me.


Indeed.

And the children should be taught at an early age to make no mistake... it's always about negotiating price. Be it honestly and straightforwardly offering a woman money, or gussying up the payment as a diamond ring and a marriage proposal, it's always about negotiating the right price.
 
2011-02-24 11:52:04 PM  

dahmers love zombie: cksewell: markie_farkie: So wait.. all these years I've been filling up tube socks, when in fact that stuff was supposed to get deposited in a woman's dirty naughty area?

Why didn't anyone tell me about this book?

Dude, wash them after a couple uses.

After a few dozen uses, you can stand them up on their own. If you do a bunch of them that way, you can have a little Terra Cotta Army of spermy socks.


And the chicks love it.
 
2011-02-24 11:58:05 PM  
FTFA: "My Mom's Having a Baby," which can be found in the children's non-fiction section, is highly recommended by respected industry magazines and journals.

I did not need to be told this. I certainly wasn't going to look in the Autobiography or Sports book sections.
 
2011-02-25 12:00:52 AM  
Oh, so that's how it works! No wonder I never get past the second date!
 
2011-02-25 12:06:39 AM  
Good thing she didn't stumble upon Where Babies Come From in Germany (new window, NSFW cartoons)

Birthing baby jazz hands on page 21 is my favorite baby picture/cartoon ever.
 
2011-02-25 12:07:25 AM  

Somacandra: FTFA: "My Mom's Having a Baby," which can be found in the children's non-fiction section, is highly recommended by respected industry magazines and journals.

I did not need to be told this. I certainly wasn't going to look in the Autobiography or Sports book sections.


In all fairness, as a Cataloger, I can tell you this could very well be a fiction title as well. Meanwhile, autobiographies and sports books are sub-sections of non-fiction.
 
2011-02-25 12:14:07 AM  

Burn_The_Plows: Good thing she didn't stumble upon Where Babies Come From in Germany (new window, NSFW cartoons)

Birthing baby jazz hands on page 21 is my favorite baby picture/cartoon ever.


Okay, so far, this book has taught me that a man who looks a lot like Bob Ross shoots what looks to be a marble into the woman, and they don't wear clothes from the time of conception until it's time to go to the hospital in what appears to be the Heartmobile.

Also, doctors are horribly over paid, because all they do is stand off to the side holding their stethoscopes while a baby with Jazz Hands crawls out of the mother, who immediately goes back to her pre-pregnancy state.
 
2011-02-25 12:25:51 AM  

bobbette: Every parent has not only a right, but also a responsibility, to decide what's appropriate for their own children to read.

Would you look at that.


This.. She also looks like a bitter divorced hag that's not getting any.
 
2011-02-25 12:27:04 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: In all fairness, as a Cataloger, I can tell you this could very well be a fiction title as well.


I suppose I could see a fiction book called this, but the title does not immediately suggest fiction like "Bridge to Terebithia," "The Sword of Shannara," "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," or the so-called "New Testament."

My library separates out autobiography and sports from other non-fiction--so that's why I used them as examples.
 
2011-02-25 12:30:21 AM  

Burn_The_Plows: Good thing she didn't stumble upon Where Babies Come From in Germany (new window, NSFW cartoons)


There may not be enough awesome in the world for that book. The only part they missed is when he stuck it in her pooper.
 
2011-02-25 12:37:25 AM  
Did the book explain this part? -

When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out? (new window)
 
2011-02-25 12:45:40 AM  

haha

PENIS
 
2011-02-25 12:54:50 AM  
Why aren't library's now online?
 
2011-02-25 12:57:43 AM  

BLIXX: Why aren't library's now online?


Most libraries don't even own a now, much less one with internet capabilities.
 
2011-02-25 12:58:02 AM  

BLIXX: Why aren't library's now online?


Because it's proven daily that you cannot teach proper apostrophe usage over the internet.
 
2011-02-25 01:13:58 AM  
You know, it seems that everybody remembers when they learned about sex. Whether it was "the talk" or other means.

I, for the life of me, can't ever remember learning about sex.
 
2011-02-25 01:20:41 AM  
Ok, sounds like a reasonable way to talk, it's about biology, and kids have questions.
 
2011-02-25 01:32:20 AM  

baka-san: Ok, sounds like a reasonable way to talk, it's about biology, and kids have questions.


B-b-b-b-b-but... then she would have to tell the children that the stork doesn't exist! Then they would start questioning the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and Jesus!
 
2011-02-25 01:45:11 AM  
Here's a better idea:

i52.tinypic.com

/funny as a comic
//not quite as funny when it's irl
///educate your children re: facts, you farking idiots
//ok it's funny irl but only for a little while :D
/describe the cock, the pussy and the jizz to your kid(s) ffs
 
2011-02-25 01:47:16 AM  

jaylectricity: You know, it seems that everybody remembers when they learned about sex. Whether it was "the talk" or other means.

I, for the life of me, can't ever remember learning about sex.


I can't remember, either. I know it wasn't "the talk" and I knew about it before Sex Ed started in 6th grade. I probably just learned about it gradually during my late elementary school years.
 
2011-02-25 01:47:57 AM  

gameshowhost:
/describe the cock, the pussy and the jizz to your kid(s) ffs


Feh.

I say you make graphic videos of your sexual activities with your spouse, and show them to your children when they ask about such things.

Little Johnny asks "what is felching"? You have the video cued up! Little Johnny wants to know why the "Cleveland Steamer" joke from Family Guy was so funny? You pop in the video of the time mom and dad did that, and explain it to him!
 
2011-02-25 01:58:28 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: gameshowhost:
/describe the cock, the pussy and the jizz to your kid(s) ffs

Feh.

I say you make graphic videos of your sexual activities with your spouse, and show them to your children when they ask about such things.

Little Johnny asks "what is felching"? You have the video cued up! Little Johnny wants to know why the "Cleveland Steamer" joke from Family Guy was so funny? You pop in the video of the time mom and dad did that, and explain it to him!


"Daddy - what's a 'plumpkin'"?

"Let me get that DVD, honey..."
 
2011-02-25 02:41:03 AM  
Parents and caregivers still need to screen materials. Not rocket surgury.

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: BLIXX: Why aren't library's now online?

Most libraries don't even own a now, much less one with internet capabilities.


I love you.
 
2011-02-25 04:35:33 AM  

Burn_The_Plows: Good thing she didn't stumble upon Where Babies Come From in Germany (new window, NSFW cartoons)

Birthing baby jazz hands on page 21 is my favorite baby picture/cartoon ever.




Thank you! That was pure awesome!


I will now go fart in my wife's Klinik!
 
2011-02-25 04:51:51 AM  
Ya know. They're YOUR crotch fruit. You need to show some responsibility and take an active roll in their life and what you want them to learn.
 
2011-02-25 06:00:12 AM  
I prefer more traditional methods of teaching about sex, where uncles take their nephews to the whorehouse on their 14th birthdays to introduce them to the mystery that is woman.
 
2011-02-25 06:00:25 AM  
In all the movies I've seen, the white liquid gets deposited in her eye. Huh.
 
2011-02-25 06:04:19 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: as a Cataloger, I can tell you this could very well be a fiction title as well


www.gambling911.com

how ?
 
2011-02-25 06:05:17 AM  

Mad Scientist: In all the movies I've seen, the white liquid gets deposited in her eye. Huh.


Aaah yes, the money shot.
 
2011-02-25 06:05:47 AM  
This entire 'childhood innocence' thing is a weird side effect of families not living in the same room anymore and our departure from an agricultural economy. Usually kids figured it out pretty easily from either seeing their parents or livestock.
 
2011-02-25 06:06:06 AM  

Burn_The_Plows: Good thing she didn't stumble upon Where Babies Come From in Germany (new window, NSFW cartoons)

Birthing baby jazz hands on page 21 is my favorite baby picture/cartoon ever.


Yeah, that book would be considered porn in America. When I first came across it I marveled at the creampie page. Got a little turned on, even. So it is obviously porn.
 
2011-02-25 06:07:46 AM  
I'd have a problem with this being in an elementary school library for one reason only, teachers tend to just let the kids roam in the library and check out whatever book they want, which is as it should be, however this is the kind of subject that should be discussed with a child the first time they hear about it, not randomly discovered while fumbling through other books.

It seems like a straightforward enough book, and it would be great for a parent to sit down with a child and read it together and talk about it, but just having the kid randomly find the book and get that kind of information so early and without anyone to give it context, not such a great idea.

//I'm shocked no one has criticized that the library didn't have another book called "Heather's Two Daddy Play a Special Love Game" that describes gay sex in graphic detail for children, equality and what not, you know
 
2011-02-25 06:07:50 AM  

SpaceyCat: Ya know. They're YOUR crotch fruit. You need to show some responsibility and take an active roll in their life and what you want them to learn.


If you don't want them to learn, you really should stop plowing the crotch for fruit. The supply/demand factors for ignorant mouth breeders are on the supply bias wave right now.

// Demand increases in election years
/ and when this woman's charges are ready to breed
 
2011-02-25 06:09:17 AM  

PonceAlyosha: Usually kids figured it out pretty easily from either seeing their parents or livestock.


Or in Scotland and Kentucky, their parents with livestock.
 
2011-02-25 06:10:22 AM  

cksewell: dahmers love zombie: cksewell: markie_farkie: So wait.. all these years I've been filling up tube socks, when in fact that stuff was supposed to get deposited in a woman's dirty naughty area?

Why didn't anyone tell me about this book?

Dude, wash them after a couple uses.

After a few dozen uses, you can stand them up on their own. If you do a bunch of them that way, you can have a little Terra Cotta Army of spermy socks.

And the chicks love it.


You need to get out more often.
 
2011-02-25 06:11:04 AM  
Anyone who thinks a NINE YEAR OLD is too young to read an educational description of coitus and conception is not remotely "open-minded", no matter what she thinks. Seriously, you people should never have let the Puritans land. A few well-placed naval mines moored off Plymouth Rock back in the day, and North America would be a better place today.

Burn_The_Plows:
Good thing she didn't stumble upon Where Babies Come From in Germany (new window, NSFW cartoons)
Birthing baby jazz hands on page 21 is my favorite baby picture/cartoon ever.


Hey! I had that book as a kid. I remember the dude's beard and how 70's-hippie they looked (even to a kid in the 80's).
 
2011-02-25 06:14:13 AM  
See? This is why today's kids are failures. The book should have outlined you coat the women's face, NOT an insertion of seminal fluid into the vaginal orifice.

/f*cking morons..............
 
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