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(Cracked)   Six things that annoy you every day (explained by science)   (cracked.com) divider line 197
    More: Interesting, train cars, scientific laws, EMP, road rage, personal distance, withholding, asphyxiation, tire irons  
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37935 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2011 at 5:02 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-02-21 09:52:42 AM
7. Clowns that look into your bedroom window at night while they masturbate.

I have a theory that people tend to walk in crowds and drive in similar manners. No way to prove it, I just have a feeling there is alot of truth behind it. If you drive slow and cut people off, you probably do the same thing walking in a mall, or an airport, etc...
 
2011-02-21 09:53:32 AM

LadyMech: Noon Blue Apples: 10) People who squat and read in the aisles of bookstores

I would never have thought to list them, but they are an annoyance. Why do they choose such an uncomfortable way to read? And why do it in the aisle cross-wise so that no one can get around them? I don't want want to have to scrape by your ass like it's the Titanic and I'm an iceberg.


Did you just watch "Titantic" last night? I find it odd you came up with that analogy out of the blue :-)
 
2011-02-21 09:53:51 AM
Every single person in my office. All they talk about is Jersey Shore and sports. They also are always pissy about having to do their job. OH NOES the phone is ringing! Douchebags, all of them.
 
2011-02-21 09:56:56 AM

LadyMech: Noon Blue Apples: 10) People who squat and read in the aisles of bookstores

I would never have thought to list them, but they are an annoyance. Why do they choose such an uncomfortable way to read? And why do it in the aisle cross-wise so that no one can get around them? I don't want want to have to scrape by your ass like it's the Titanic and I'm an iceberg.


Not everyone is obese and/or has atrophied legs.

If you stand really close to those squatters, they tend to move.
 
2011-02-21 09:59:13 AM

MayoSlather: Thanks. Although I still contend your post was THAT retarded.

Your nanny state solution sounds like something a brit would suggest. Let's just fine people for anything you don't like...Wait I'm sure you've put lots of time and research into this whole scheme so it must be a viable solution. I'm sure police will easily be able to enforce such a thing and passing this law will have a fantastic benefit for clearing up your roadways. Sounds great! Cheerio!


Your post smacks of butt-hurt. So in your retarded view, enforcing an already existing regulation , which will assist in the efficiency and safety of road travel and serve as a source of revenue, is a bad thing. Ok, go ahead and explain that please. Unless of course you didn't know that and instead thought I was proposing new regulations, which would be stupid.

How difficult would it be for police to enforce this? Just about as difficult as enforcing speeding laws, using a mobile while driving, that kind of thing. Witness it, pull them over, fine. Not very difficult. They don't actually require any specialist equipment to do this, so what's your point here? If it's some kind of anti-police "they can't do more than two things at once derp" argument then I'd have to ask if you're trying to be THAT retarded.

Slaxl: There is a post driving examination completion further education thingamajig, Pass Plus, and it's all about motorway driving. Everyone would like it to be part of the original test, but at the moment you have to pay extra and all you get in return is a slight reduction on insurance costs.


That's my point, it should form part of the test. An optional further component does nothing in terms of teaching the majority the laws as they stand under the Roads and Traffic Act 1988, so how do you publicise it? I'd imagine the uproar about fines would do a pretty good job.

Just remember, financial penalties are never the solution to anything, and anything which you are fined for currently has rapidly become nothing more than an exercise in garnering funds, as opposed to enforcing safety laws. You only have to look at what London councils are doing to our roads to realise they care not one bit for safety.

My argument is not just about safety, there's efficiency too. Enforcing this existing regulation would go a long way to mitigating the negative effects one idiot (and there are at least tens of thousands of people who don't understand the rules of the road - have you been on a motorway recently?!) can have on the amount of road available to be driven on. Unless you're a fan of under-taking then having people drive properly can only be a good thing. Consider that it would potentially reduce under-taking and that is immediately a safety benefit, no? A small one, but still a benefit nonetheless.

And what are you saying to fine people for? For driving in the wrong lane? Really? That's crazy.

A fine for breaking a law is crazy? Does the law not make sense? Should we instead waste a few billion more on expanding capacity only for fools to then negate that because they don't know how to drive properly? Also consider this: what are the chances this is the ONLY bit of the highway code these idiots don't know/understand? Not much are they? Are you ok with people bombing around the place with no idea about how they're meant to be driving that enormous lump of metal? Forgive me for not being comfortable with that.

I may not like being stuck behind someone doing the speed limit, thinking he's upholding the law and being a moral crusader against speeding, but he's just a dick and will be killed in a crash caused by his own actions one day, that'll do better than any fine.

This is not about speed. I drive a 1.6 Focus, I CAN'T speed. It's about having to sit behind some idiot taking up two lanes because I won't under-take and they're too stupid to understand the rules of the road they're sharing with me. It's about not wanting to get held up in traffic while there are HUNDREDS of miles of road effectively shut off by the ignorant. It's all well and good wishing fiery death on them except if that crash maims or kills others. That's like saying drink-driving's ok because drink-drivers are just dicks and will be killed in a crash caused by their own actions one day, that'll do better than any fine. It rarely works out that way though, does it?
 
2011-02-21 09:59:32 AM
I think that the only thing of real value from that article was definitely the video on breaking up shockwave traffic jams. I do it every freaking day after work (thank you city for building one lane to merge onto the highway everyone wants to get on and building two lanes that go back into the city that we just left). I've noticed that every once in a while, someone else starts leaving space too and traffic starts to break up in a couple of minutes, unless the major highway is severely backed up too.
 
2011-02-21 10:00:28 AM

Gwyrddu: 1. Put snakes on plane:
Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.

Just because I hurt your preconception of reality doesn't mean I'm wrong, I am quite right about the "I could care less" being the correct expression here, .


no dude, it isn't
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw
 
2011-02-21 10:03:30 AM

Pucca: Every single person in my office.


If one or two people around you are jerks, that's normal. If everyone around you is a jerk, you're the one with the problem.

/It's the opposite of poker, where you're the sucker if you can't spot the sucker.
 
2011-02-21 10:06:52 AM
The coworker in the cube next to you that coughs and clears her throat every 50 seconds.
 
2011-02-21 10:07:40 AM

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


My ex would say shiat like "It's all water under the dam" and other crap. Kicked her to the curb and good riddance. Now, if only we could keep people on NPR from mangling metaphors.
What really annoys me is when people use archaic sayings that have no applicable use anymore. Or sports metaphors.
Either way, you display your ignorance and inability to communicate to all.

I guess the uptick of this is just a bellweater of the sign of the times in this zeitgeist world we live in.
 
2011-02-21 10:09:24 AM
29. Now that the snow has finally melted here in the Midwest....all the farkin a-holes that let their dog shiat on the lawn, the sidewalks, anyplace!!! and DIDN'T PICK IT UP!

/hate running the gauntlet
 
2011-02-21 10:11:53 AM
gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!

Irregardless, it's a mute point.


Supposibly alot of people take that for granit...
 
2011-02-21 10:12:41 AM

LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)


Agreed, that was pretty cool.
 
2011-02-21 10:13:54 AM
The coworker in the cube next to you that coughs and clears her throat every 50 seconds.

Heh,... you MUST work near me. The guy behind my cube clears his throat every 20-30 seconds (no exageration) and blames it on sinus issues.
 
2011-02-21 10:13:59 AM

Hilary T. N. Seuss: Young people.


I couldn't agree with you more. I'm 34, nothing annoys me more than 18-25 y/o's.
When I was that age, I understood that I was young and that I had a lot to learn. These dumbfarks somehow believe that in their short time being adults they have a magical insight on things. When in reality they simply too dumb, they simply haven't had the experiences to judge an idea against. Snowflake syndrome, they are told they are smart all of their lives, to help their self esteem, and when young adults, without failures & accomplishments, they somehow believe they have the same knowledge/wisdom as someone who has been an adult for 5-10x longer.

Unconscious Incompetence - individual neither understands nor knows how to do something, nor recognizes the deficit, nor has a desire to address it (wikipedia)
 
2011-02-21 10:14:17 AM
Fuggin Bizzy 2011-02-21 10:03:30 AM
Pucca: Every single person in my office.

If one or two people around you are jerks, that's normal. If everyone around you is a jerk, you're the one with the problem.

/It's the opposite of poker, where you're the sucker if you can't spot the sucker.


Yes I'm the one with the problem because I don't care about Jersey Shore or if the Ravens won.
I also don't spew racist and homophobic comments and talk about how wonderful the country was when Bush was president. I have the problem tho.. definitely.
 
2011-02-21 10:15:21 AM
one word could have explained this entire article and thread on what we hate---the word is "others"
 
2011-02-21 10:15:38 AM
11.) When they switch Darrins or Beckys
 
2011-02-21 10:17:50 AM

Pucca: Fuggin Bizzy 2011-02-21 10:03:30 AM
Pucca: Every single person in my office.

If one or two people around you are jerks, that's normal. If everyone around you is a jerk, you're the one with the problem.

/It's the opposite of poker, where you're the sucker if you can't spot the sucker.


Yes I'm the one with the problem because I don't care about Jersey Shore or if the Ravens won.
I also don't spew racist and homophobic comments and talk about how wonderful the country was when Bush was president. I have the problem tho.. definitely.


Keep talkin'...
 
2011-02-21 10:18:36 AM

Fuggin Bizzy: LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)

Often, my hole is the only thing letting people in.


Do people ever force themselves into your hole?
 
2011-02-21 10:23:43 AM
8.) The co-worker that stares at your lunch.
 
2011-02-21 10:24:50 AM
People who wait to merge until the last minute when there is a lane closure. You are not more important than the rest of us! (It should be legal to pull them out of their cars and beat them)
 
2011-02-21 10:27:29 AM

cassanovascotian: Gwyrddu: 1. Put snakes on plane:
Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.

Just because I hurt your preconception of reality doesn't mean I'm wrong, I am quite right about the "I could care less" being the correct expression here, .

no dude, it isn't
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw


Except he didn't actually answer anything about the actual origin of the word, which is more important here than his interpretation of the term. Here's another
interpretation of the term.

Here's an explanation here as well. I mean it could be "I could care less" did come "I couldn't care less", but we don't know, so saying it wrong is just your interpretation of the term, which may or may not be right.
 
2011-02-21 10:30:23 AM
I see that short people was left off the list.
 
2011-02-21 10:35:09 AM
The human brain likes things to be predictable, and it can't really relax and "tune out" something that doesn't make sense. You might notice yourself trying to fill in the other half of the phone conversations you overhear. It's the same mechanism that makes it so hard to walk away after you've seen the first 15 minutes of an episode of CSI or Law & Order: The brain naturally hates leaving questions unanswered.

I liked that part. Makes me feel better about obsessing over relationships that lack closure. I keep telling my brain to shut up and get over it, but after a few days there it is, replaying a conversation again, attempting to analyze and make sense of it.
 
2011-02-21 10:35:20 AM
People who fart in elevators...that's just mean.
 
2011-02-21 10:35:33 AM

loonatic112358: I see that short people was left off the list.


Let's just say "Randy Newman songs in general."
 
2011-02-21 10:39:34 AM

CrawlingKingSnake: People who fart in elevators...that's just mean.


Look, I said I was sorry.
 
2011-02-21 10:43:18 AM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Let's just say "Randy Newman songs in general."


I was referring to people of lesser heights, mr Newman was just singing about a truth.
 
2011-02-21 10:46:41 AM

loonatic112358: I see that short people was left off the list.


You just looked over 'em.

Oh, yea. Oversensitive people piss me off, too. (yea I'm looking at you, Feminists)
 
2011-02-21 10:46:52 AM
8.) The co-worker that stares at your lunch.

Oh so much THIS... Throw in the coworker that always comes by your cube just as you're sitting down to eat your freshly heated lunch and procedes to stand there and chit chat about your food until it's cold.
 
2011-02-21 10:49:22 AM
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Let's just say "Randy Newman songs in general."

I was referring to people of lesser heights, mr Newman was just singing about a truth.


[old]
People that took that song literally and staged protests - not getting the joke. Also includes people that didn't understand the lyrical context in which the "little f@ggot" line in 'Money for Nothin'
[/old]
 
2011-02-21 10:51:20 AM

Gwyrddu:
Except he didn't actually answer anything about the actual origin of the word, which is more important here than his interpretation of the term.


which word is it you're referring to? the word "care"? the word "could"? "less"? these are all words with pretty well established definitions. Presumably you meant to say "phrase", or "expression", but if a phrase is going to be interpreted in a way different from it's literal decomposition, then it ought to have some kind of metaphor or analogy in it. There's no imagery, no logical means of interpretation, just no way at all for the phrase "I could care less" to mean "I don't care"


Here's an explanation here as well. I mean it could be "I could care less" did come "I couldn't care less", but we don't know, so saying it wrong is just your interpretation of the term, which may or may not be right.


again, "term"-->"phrase", but more importantly:

ok, so you wanna go with the "whatever people interpret" argument... ok so how about I redefine the word "wrong" to mean "correct". As long as it's clear then for me to use that word in that way is perfectly wrong, wouldn't you agree?

No. because there is an underlying system of logic that is supposed to guide our language, and when people say things that obfuscate communication, it is the responsibility of others to say "No, that's a stupid way of redefining things and it just makes it really hard for people to understand each other clearly. The other way of doing it is much more clear, so stop saying that. It's wrong."

Which is essentially what we're doing right now. Stop saying "I could care less"... it's wrong.
 
2011-02-21 10:53:36 AM

muck4doo: 8.) The co-worker that stares at your lunch.


Worse yet, the coworker who stares and your lunch and then launches into commentary about either (1) "wow, I wish I could eat that but I'm on a DIET, you know, I can only eat lettuce but it must be nice for you to eat such HEAVY food, I'm so jealous" or (2) "I can't believe you EAT that, really? It smells gross" or the variant (3) "I can't believe you EAT that, you should be a vegetarian!"
 
2011-02-21 10:54:12 AM

jingks: No comments regarding the stupidity that is bumper stickers? Then again, farkers seem like a bumper sticker type crowd.


I have noticed the connection between the number of bumper stickers and driving ability. Seems the more stickers the worse the driving. Double so if they are political and/or school stickers.

Also worth noting that the group of people who seem to really like the political stickers are the far left folks.

They all piss me off. I dont care about your views, I dont care what school your kid goes to or how well they do there. I just dont farking care.

Sadly while they have the right to bombard me with their opinion I dont have the right to spray paint over it...maybe next time Im behind a car like that Ill just drive with my eyes closed, sooner or later the stickers will get taken care of.
 
2011-02-21 11:00:08 AM
Let's break this down.

6: That doesn't annoy me as much as people driving while celling. Get a headset from crying out loud.

5: Since the internet was invented, I've never stood in a crowd waiting for tickets.

4: Ehhh... I typically put bumper stickers on to actually make someone laugh, or advertise a place to go. Unless someone's gonna hit me, or accelerating while I have my signal on, I typically don't get mad. When someone's being a jerk, I use Murphy's Law on weight: Heavier vehicles have the right of way.

3: I go around, and if I can't, I don't yell. I usually plan ahead when walking (second nature), so I seldom get caught behind a slowpoke.

2: I do that as best I can, or leave a way out.

1: Again, not a problem. I'm usually the one that tries to help. I see a wreck from 1/2 a mile away, I stop.
 
2011-02-21 11:08:15 AM

jaylectricity: So is there anything you can do about these things? Yes, actually. A single driver can "break" these jams by leaving a significant amount of open space in front of him in heavy traffic, resisting the temptation to accelerate and close the gap even when cars cut in ahead. This technique not only stops the driver from having to brake when he reaches the back end of a wave, it actually destroys the wave for anyone behind him.

This is basically how I drive. And yes, sometimes the car behind me finds an opportunity to pass me (either on the left or right) and get in front of me and continue to stop and go like they were before...but this time they're like 50 yards closer to their destination.


I'm no scientist, but I have the following complaint or concern regarding this practice:

although you may be helping the greater good, aren't you slowing your own progress as the cost?

I am raising this concern in opposition to myself as well, because I drive like this. My wife thinks I'm some grandma on the highway. I also understand that the slowest drivers are the ones who create the most dangerous of situations. But, in traffic jams, I don't think cruising speed is a factor compared to the distance between cars, and the rate of breaking and accelerating.

So, I always try to travel the speed of traffic (even if it means I have to go over the limit, which aggravates me), but I make sure not to follow anyone too closely. Unfortunately, the rest of the world sees this as a weakness and habitually cuts me off.

plus, i drive a standard, and it's annoying to be rushing to stop all the time, easier just to coast along in neutral, aware of an appropriate spatio-temporal balance with my fellow automobilers

i hate standards, but I think everyone should drive one (or at least, learn to drive one), makes you pay more attention, and makes texting and cell phoning more impractical...
 
2011-02-21 11:14:19 AM
People pushing baby strollers in crowded places.
 
2011-02-21 11:15:55 AM

cassanovascotian: ok, so you wanna go with the "whatever people interpret" argument... ok so how about I redefine the word "wrong" to mean "correct". As long as it's clear then for me to use that word in that way is perfectly wrong, wouldn't you agree?

No. because there is an underlying system of logic that is supposed to guide our language, and when people say things that obfuscate communication, it is the responsibility of others to say "No, that's a stupid way of redefining things and it just makes it really hard for people to understand each other clearly. The other way of doing it is much more clear, so stop saying that. It's wrong."


First off, I can think of at least one term that defined as its opposite, "bad" is actually a good thing in modern slang. I'm sure in 19th century slang, "I could care less" was rather witty, and is mostly lost on a modern audience. Maybe in a couple of centuries people will be having a spirited debated as to the true meaning of the word "bad".

Either, I think you are entirely mistaken on English being a logic language. It does follow a set of grammar rules, but rules in English are descriptive, not proscriptive and almost always have exceptions to them. Even basic stuff like English not having infixes can be violated by curse words "absofarkinglutely". Given enough time, we might see English go from an isolating language to synthetic language, or have SVO turn to some other word order as it has done countless times in the past.

If you want a logical language, take up Esperanto or maybe Klingon, languages attached to a real culture are all about history though, history that often gets lost or mistranslated through time.

Look, if you want to change "I could care less" to "I couldn't care less" because it sounds more logical to a modern ear, that is fine with me, English is a living language. But you can't go claiming that people who stick with "I couldn't care less" are saying it wrong, because that is the way the phrase has always went as far back as it can be traced.
 
2011-02-21 11:23:02 AM
So that means that Washington...is part black?!?!?
 
2011-02-21 11:24:23 AM
correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.
 
2011-02-21 11:27:28 AM

Gwyrddu: Here's an explanation here as well. I mean it could be "I could care less" did come "I couldn't care less", but we don't know, so saying it wrong is just your interpretation of the term, which may or may not be right.


We do know, you utter jackass. Stop spreading bullshiat.
 
2011-02-21 11:28:21 AM

Gwyrddu: correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.


...
 
2011-02-21 11:31:38 AM

1. Put snakes on plane:
We do know, you utter jackass. Stop spreading bullshiat.


Nobody has shown yet where the phrase has come from, and the fact that all can do is throw around insults means you don't know either.
 
2011-02-21 11:34:33 AM
These are just theories. Teach the controversy! Annoyance is caused by the Devil and sin.
 
2011-02-21 11:34:45 AM

Gwyrddu: correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.


Absolutely.

That's a pet peeve of mine.

I hate that.

/couldn't care less
 
2011-02-21 11:35:09 AM

1. Put snakes on plane: Gwyrddu: correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.

...


See my post above that for the part it replaces, I should have used ... at least around the phrase, I did find it funny how many correction made things even more confusing.
 
2011-02-21 11:37:06 AM
The Envoy: ~a lot~

I like you. I went straight from driving test to pass-plus to IAM course / testing; I probably had the lowest insurance premium a 17yo could ever have had, and made most of a career out of various forms of driving & instruction. I too, believe the test should be ferociously more stringent and they should fine the balls off of anyone snarling up the roads: especially at speed on motorways, because it's dangerous. I've been in yankyland for a while now though, and there seems to be a widespread attitude of the police are evil and out to get you, beat you up & take your money. In some cases it seems to be true, and that's probably why you get yokels whinging about the idea of being told off for being bad.

For legal reasons I had to take the state licence test here recently; it took 5 minutes at a computer then about 20 minutes and I was legal for the road. It's a joke. The instructor spent most of it apologising for the complete swamp of morans I had to wade through, both then and forevermore on the roads here.

Give up on talking efficiency though, they still think something doing 30-ish to the gallon is good mileage. I find it hysterical and sad all at once.
 
2011-02-21 11:39:45 AM
TFA If we urbanites really didn't care about the people around us, we'd do stuff like point and stare if someone was wearing a funny hat.

How does that explain People of Walmart (new window)? Are there different rules for the 'burbs?
 
2011-02-21 11:43:33 AM

varmitydog: More like six things that annoy people who live in urban areas.
"I've had years of cramped up city life, trapped like ducks in a pen"......... I pity the fools.
/Uppity country boy


Ain't that the truth. I can't count the number of Fark threads where people spend hours complaining about being crowded and crammed next to other people, then come right back the next thread and complain about people who don't have the smarts to live like they do.

Sounds like a lifestyle problem, but it isn't my problem.
 
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