If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Cracked)   Six things that annoy you every day (explained by science)   (cracked.com) divider line 197
    More: Interesting, train cars, scientific laws, EMP, road rage, personal distance, withholding, asphyxiation, tire irons  
•       •       •

37934 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2011 at 5:02 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



197 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2011-02-21 07:08:15 AM
That we still say dial a number, even though we no longer have dials on phones (for the most part). Can we say "call" now?

/Scientific explanation: Old people can't change and still use dial phones, so we have to still say dial or they'll get confused and die trying to call 911. Like keeping pennies.
//Get off our lawns!
 
2011-02-21 07:08:18 AM

Sun God: The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.

Maybe you should get taxed for every mile you drive. You get taxed more if the roadway allows you to go faster.


How would that solve the issue? They're still going the same distance but are clogging up roadways while doing it. I rarely see anybody under-taking so middle-lane hogs effectively negate a whole lane of the motorway.
 
2011-02-21 07:10:38 AM

inkblot: 0. Cracked greenlights.


It's a syndrome. Fark can't do it, why not let a spurious self-embodied ad-site amalgamation do it?
 
2011-02-21 07:12:28 AM

The Envoy: How would that solve the issue? They're still going the same distance but are clogging up roadways while doing it. I rarely see anybody under-taking so middle-lane hogs effectively negate a whole lane of the motorway.


How much did the roadway cost? Have not the tolls paid for it already?
 
2011-02-21 07:15:19 AM
People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!
 
2011-02-21 07:21:13 AM

The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.


Police are not the answer to anything. Well unless you asked the question "Who are the most worthless douche bags on the planet?"...Then police would be the answer.

Also while I agree if you're not passing you should move out of the left lane... generally speaking on an up to speed highway most people are doing well over the speed limit. The left lane is mostly full of people going 10+ over the limit. Then someone gets pissy about the guy only doing 9 over the limit and it leads to a retarded fark post.
 
2011-02-21 07:22:44 AM

Sun God: The Envoy: How would that solve the issue? They're still going the same distance but are clogging up roadways while doing it. I rarely see anybody under-taking so middle-lane hogs effectively negate a whole lane of the motorway.

How much did the roadway cost? Have not the tolls paid for it already?


What does that have to do with incorrect lane usage and the ensuing traffic problems? Road tax, paid annually or bi-annually, pays for new roads and road maintenance. You have to remember we're all socialists over here.

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


"Tenants" instead of "tenets".
 
2011-02-21 07:28:47 AM
People who forget to turn off their high beams during the daytime (or simply don't care).

/pisses me off.
 
2011-02-21 07:28:56 AM
I'm not seeing how driving with 3-4 car lengths of open space in front of you frees up a traffic jam a mile down the road.
 
2011-02-21 07:29:41 AM

MayoSlather: Police are not the answer to anything. Well unless you asked the question "Who are the most worthless douche bags on the planet?"...Then police would be the answer.

Also while I agree if you're not passing you should move out of the left lane... generally speaking on an up to speed highway most people are doing well over the speed limit. The left lane is mostly full of people going 10+ over the limit. Then someone gets pissy about the guy only doing 9 over the limit and it leads to a retarded fark post.


Generally speaking, your generalisations about US roads in your area do not pertain to those in the UK. The driving lane is not full of people going 10+ over the limit. It's full of old people, heavy vehicles, caravans etc. Those that aren't clogging up the central lane that is.

Another method to combat it would be to have a motorway section on the driving test, but financial penalties and points on a licence is the only way to get those who have already passed their test.

Don't be too hard on yourself, your post wasn't THAT retarded.
 
2011-02-21 07:32:38 AM

LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)


agreed. that was great.
 
2011-02-21 07:35:44 AM

The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.


Don´t ever drive in the US, I´m amazed at how orderly driving is here after learning to highway drive on the DC beltway. Everyone says Spain has crazy drivers but it´s remarkably orderly to me.
 
2011-02-21 07:37:00 AM
More like six things that annoy people who live in urban areas.
"I've had years of cramped up city life, trapped like ducks in a pen"......... I pity the fools.

/Uppity country boy
 
2011-02-21 07:37:05 AM

mamoru: 7.) Mosquitos.


HEY
 
2011-02-21 07:43:52 AM
This (new window) guy.
 
2011-02-21 07:45:45 AM
"You're on the jet bridge waiting for the lucky bastards already on the plane to stow their belongings in the overhead compartment. Suddenly, a fellow member of Boarding Group C pushes you from behind."


When you're 6'3"/250lb., this never happens to you. Ever.

I do see the crowding that tfa talks about, but there's always these little space bubbles around me and the other tall people. It's kind of amusing.
 
2011-02-21 07:49:46 AM

The Envoy: Don't be too hard on yourself, your post wasn't THAT retarded.


Thanks. Although I still contend your post was THAT retarded.

Your nanny state solution sounds like something a brit would suggest. Let's just fine people for anything you don't like...Wait I'm sure you've put lots of time and research into this whole scheme so it must be a viable solution. I'm sure police will easily be able to enforce such a thing and passing this law will have a fantastic benefit for clearing up your roadways. Sounds great! Cheerio!
 
2011-02-21 07:50:47 AM

Purple_Jack: They didn't include the scientific explanation for 'You wait ages for a bus, then 2 come along at once.'


That's easy: Whatever it was that slowed the first one down is not going to slow the second one down, since almost invariably it's a passenger-related slowdown. A wheel-chair-bound person on a route without wheelchair capable buses; an elderly person struggling to find the correct change; a rowdy drunk who refuses to take his seat quietly - whatever the reason, it slows only one bus down, and enough that the following bus on the same route catches up.

It seems (at least, in my experience in Australia and London) that buses on the same route do not (or are not allowed) to overtake a leading bus; I suppose it's so that people in the slower bus do not feel that they should have caught the next bus; so that there is not a race between buses on the same path.

Additionally, it makes the problem worse, as the lead bus is picking up ALL the waiting passengers (some who would normally have been picked up by the next bus), meaning that the closely following second bus has no passengers waiting, only unloading, and actually experiences a faster-than-normal route path.

In any case, what you have is a FIFO stack that can only go as fast as the lead element - a long gap and then two or three buses all at once.
 
2011-02-21 08:00:42 AM
with bonus lewis black joke!
 
2011-02-21 08:00:50 AM
As tot he driving technique mentioned in TFA, of course it works: that's what all non-peak-hour traffic is... large gaps between cars. It's just that it reaches a certain density during peak hour where people are not leaving enough reaction time.

Clarkson (of Top Gear fame) said it once: If, on a freeway or motorway, you are driving along at the speed limit and you put your foot on the brakes, you've done something wrong already. Now, this sounds a bit abrupt and he was ridiculed for it on screen, but his point was that you, or the people in front of you, haven't left enough reaction time. Nearly everything on a modern freeway or motorway should be very predictable - there are no traffic lights or traffic controls, all the exits and entries have ample warning and merging lanes - everyone should be able to smoothly move forward without speeding up or slowing down dramatically; the variances should be such that it can all be controlled by acceleration or lack thereof. Jamming on, or even tapping, the brakes should be avoided, as it's inefficient or means that something unpredictable has happened.

Of course, this is all best-case scenario. From what I hear of British motorways, 75% of them are under construction at any given time. But still, the ideal is there.
 
2011-02-21 08:01:46 AM
7) Tribbles
 
2011-02-21 08:02:03 AM
""I HAVE IMPORTANT, QUESADILLA-RELATED BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO."

Somehow that made me chuckle.
 
2011-02-21 08:03:56 AM

jeanwearinfool: This (new window) guy.


I'm sorry.
 
2011-02-21 08:07:23 AM

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


As far as screwing up the english language is concerned, there's really only one that makes me want to grab a hot poker and sodomize people.

"OMG, look outside, it's literally raining cats and dogs out there..."

AAAARRARRRGHGHG!!!!!!

the worst part? Webster actually accepts this usage of 'literally' now, simply because too many idiots don't know how to use the word properly.

/you're dead to me Webster, it's Oxford from now on.
 
2011-02-21 08:08:19 AM

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


Irregardless, it's a mute point.
 
2011-02-21 08:21:04 AM

Lupine Chemist: Don´t ever drive in the US, I´m amazed at how orderly driving is here after learning to highway drive on the DC beltway. Everyone says Spain has crazy drivers but it´s remarkably orderly to me.


The DC beltway is basically the thunderdome of highway driving. I have driven in bad rush hour traffic in quite a few east coast cities; DC, Baltimore, Philly, NY, Richmond, etc. I usually consider myself fairly good at highway driving but DC.... The volume of traffic on the road is comparable to other cities, but in NY or Philly that traffic would grind to a crawl. In DC it could be going 80 mph for a mile, gridlocked for a mile, 80 mph for another mile. Its every man for himself out there.
 
2011-02-21 08:22:48 AM

Mini Ditka: jeanwearinfool: This (new window) guy.

I'm sorry.


That got me at first too. (redirects everyone to their own profile.)

/nicely done jeanwearinfool, you win 1 internets.
 
2011-02-21 08:27:31 AM
No comments regarding the stupidity that is bumper stickers? Then again, farkers seem like a bumper sticker type crowd.
 
2011-02-21 08:29:30 AM

cassanovascotian:
That got me at first too. (redirects everyone to their own profile.)

/nicely done jeanwearinfool, you win 1 internets.


Brilliant!!
 
2011-02-21 08:30:03 AM

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


There is no mix up with "I could care less", probably the phrase is meant sarcastically like "I should be so lucky", I've also heard it is a reference to a longer saying in a Jane Austin novel.

Either way, "I could care less" has been in that form for as long as it has been able to be traced back. If you said "I couldn't care less", that would be mixing up your sayings, even if on the surface that would seem more logical.
 
2011-02-21 08:33:10 AM

The Envoy: MayoSlather: Police are not the answer to anything. Well unless you asked the question "Who are the most worthless douche bags on the planet?"...Then police would be the answer.

Also while I agree if you're not passing you should move out of the left lane... generally speaking on an up to speed highway most people are doing well over the speed limit. The left lane is mostly full of people going 10+ over the limit. Then someone gets pissy about the guy only doing 9 over the limit and it leads to a retarded fark post.

Generally speaking, your generalisations about US roads in your area do not pertain to those in the UK. The driving lane is not full of people going 10+ over the limit. It's full of old people, heavy vehicles, caravans etc. Those that aren't clogging up the central lane that is.

Another method to combat it would be to have a motorway section on the driving test, but financial penalties and points on a licence is the only way to get those who have already passed their test.

Don't be too hard on yourself, your post wasn't THAT retarded.


There is a post driving examination completion further education thingamajig, Pass Plus, and it's all about motorway driving. Everyone would like it to be part of the original test, but at the moment you have to pay extra and all you get in return is a slight reduction on insurance costs.

Just remember, financial penalties are never the solution to anything, and anything which you are fined for currently has rapidly become nothing more than an exercise in garnering funds, as opposed to enforcing safety laws. You only have to look at what London councils are doing to our roads to realise they care not one bit for safety.

And what are you saying to fine people for? For driving in the wrong lane? Really? That's crazy. I may not like being stuck behind someone doing the speed limit, thinking he's upholding the law and being a moral crusader against speeding, but he's just a dick and will be killed in a crash caused by his own actions one day, that'll do better than any fine.
 
2011-02-21 08:35:06 AM

missmarsha: gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!

Irregardless, it's a mute point.


People who type sentences that include incredibly long words and proper punctuation and then use 'ur' instead of 'your'.

/It begs the question
 
2011-02-21 08:37:44 AM
Where is screaming babby?
 
2011-02-21 08:41:09 AM

AynRandy: The DC beltway is basically the thunderdome of highway driving. I have driven in bad rush hour traffic in quite a few east coast cities; DC, Baltimore, Philly, NY, Richmond, etc. I usually consider myself fairly good at highway driving but DC.... The volume of traffic on the road is comparable to other cities, but in NY or Philly that traffic would grind to a crawl. In DC it could be going 80 mph for a mile, gridlocked for a mile, 80 mph for another mile. Its every man for himself out there.


The DC beltway is a pleasant Sunday drive in the park compared to the Atlanta Perimeter
 
2011-02-21 08:48:24 AM
n+1) What they've done to Sesame Street
 
2011-02-21 08:52:56 AM

Queen Mab: The DC beltway is a pleasant Sunday drive in the park compared to the Atlanta Perimeter


Probably is if you aren't familiar with DC.
 
2011-02-21 09:00:03 AM
7. My boss
 
2011-02-21 09:03:34 AM

Gwyrddu: There is no mix up with "I could care less", probably the phrase is meant sarcastically like "I should be so lucky", I've also heard it is a reference to a longer saying in a Jane Austin novel.

Either way, "I could care less" has been in that form for as long as it has been able to be traced back. If you said "I couldn't care less", that would be mixing up your sayings, even if on the surface that would seem more logical.


Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.
 
2011-02-21 09:12:35 AM
i235.photobucket.com

/7. Ben Affleck
 
2011-02-21 09:17:00 AM

The Envoy: Sun God: The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.

Maybe you should get taxed for every mile you drive. You get taxed more if the roadway allows you to go faster.

How would that solve the issue? They're still going the same distance but are clogging up roadways while doing it. I rarely see anybody under-taking so middle-lane hogs effectively negate a whole lane of the motorway.


I can't stand limeys that don't speak American.
 
2011-02-21 09:17:19 AM

American Decency Association: what penis's might look like


8. Incorrect usage of punctuation
 
2011-02-21 09:17:45 AM
7. Cracked lists.
 
2011-02-21 09:20:52 AM
What a waste of bandwidth. I could have written that same article in 1/4 of the space.

6 Problems:

[Insert images here]

The explanation:

Lack of patience for whatever reason.
 
2011-02-21 09:28:58 AM

austin_millbarge: /7. Ben Affleck


Phantoms


/yo
 
2011-02-21 09:29:37 AM

AynRandy: The DC beltway is basically the thunderdome of highway driving. I have driven in bad rush hour traffic in quite a few east coast cities; DC, Baltimore, Philly, NY, Richmond, etc. I usually consider myself fairly good at highway driving but DC.... The volume of traffic on the road is comparable to other cities, but in NY or Philly that traffic would grind to a crawl. In DC it could be going 80 mph for a mile, gridlocked for a mile, 80 mph for another mile. Its every man for himself out there.


Philly traffic can die in a farking fire. I've been on the Beltway, midtown Manhattan, Baltimore, downtown Orlando, you name it, and none of them hold a candle to Philly. Farking one-way streets, construction, dodging potholes/sinkholes that PennDot never fixes, people that don't know where the hell they're going, douchebags on bicycles, dumbass pedestrians, the list goes on. If I ever need to go into Philly, I take the train because driving there gives me a farking stroke.

/get to go down there this week, on the Boulevard, no less
//looking SO forward to it
 
2011-02-21 09:31:28 AM
I am most annoyed by some idiot on a motorcycle, riding like an idiot with a HUGE helmet on, but nothing else but a t shirt and shorts...guess he must figure that, his face and head will look great in the casket, even if his arms and legs are mostly missing...still I hear those funeral dudes can really do a lot with plactic and clay....
 
2011-02-21 09:34:02 AM

LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)


Often, my hole is the only thing letting people in.
 
2011-02-21 09:35:01 AM

1. Put snakes on plane:
Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.


Just because I hurt your preconception of reality doesn't mean I'm wrong, I am quite right about the "I could care less" being the correct expression here, since nobody knows for sure where the root of the phrase truly came from. I listed some speculation, and some people also guess that it did come from the negative, but since nobody can prove its true source, you can't say "I could care less" is somehow wrong because of what you want it to mean.

Anyway, I'm insulted by the implication that I would waste my time with an elaborate troll on such a minor issue, regardless of whether I'm right or not, that is what I've read and what I believe to be the truth here.
 
2011-02-21 09:38:18 AM
Carnies
 
2011-02-21 09:41:23 AM

log_jammin: huh. work now classifies Cracked as tasteless and offensive and blocked it.


I just switched jobs from one that blocked it, to one that doesn't. I have to be honest, that really bugged me b/c I admit to liking quite a few of these articles they do.

/yes, i like Cracked
//flame on
 
Displayed 50 of 197 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report