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(Cracked)   Six things that annoy you every day (explained by science)   (cracked.com) divider line 197
    More: Interesting, train cars, scientific laws, EMP, road rage, personal distance, withholding, asphyxiation, tire irons  
•       •       •

37952 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2011 at 5:02 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



197 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-02-21 12:24:16 AM  
7.) Mosquitos.
 
2011-02-21 12:26:51 AM  
8) BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS


/Cracked is worlds better than FarkTV
 
2011-02-21 01:07:44 AM  
The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)
 
2011-02-21 02:02:26 AM  
So is there anything you can do about these things? Yes, actually. A single driver can "break" these jams by leaving a significant amount of open space in front of him in heavy traffic, resisting the temptation to accelerate and close the gap even when cars cut in ahead. This technique not only stops the driver from having to brake when he reaches the back end of a wave, it actually destroys the wave for anyone behind him.

This is basically how I drive. And yes, sometimes the car behind me finds an opportunity to pass me (either on the left or right) and get in front of me and continue to stop and go like they were before...but this time they're like 50 yards closer to their destination.
 
2011-02-21 02:09:32 AM  
9) Slideshows
 
2011-02-21 02:14:21 AM  
Wow. Another Cracked list. Talk about annoying.
 
2011-02-21 05:04:56 AM  
Old people.
 
2011-02-21 05:06:41 AM  
Young people.
 
2011-02-21 05:07:27 AM  
-With- science, -by- Coville, -for- Cracked, -without- being read.
 
2011-02-21 05:07:28 AM  

Hilary T. N. Seuss: Young people.


You sound old, and slimy.
 
2011-02-21 05:07:56 AM  
Yes. Like Capitalizing Every Word In A Fark Submission.
 
2011-02-21 05:12:01 AM  
i.crackedcdn.com
what penis's might look like
 
2011-02-21 05:14:59 AM  

fisker: Hilary T. N. Seuss: Young people.

You sound old, and slimy.


You sound young, and full of piss and vinegar.
 
2011-02-21 05:17:02 AM  
10) People who squat and read in the aisles of bookstores
 
2011-02-21 05:21:29 AM  

Hilary T. N. Seuss: fisker: Hilary T. N. Seuss: Young people.

You sound old, and slimy.

You sound young, and full of piss and vinegar.


fair enough.
 
2011-02-21 05:22:07 AM  
fisker: Old people.

Hilary T. N. Seuss: Young people.

People.
 
2011-02-21 05:22:34 AM  
I do #2 pretty often, I mean the "wave break" thing. Big trucks tend to break waves as well because of the nature of their vehicles and their experience (i.e. lack of impulsiveness).
 
2011-02-21 05:25:59 AM  

mamoru: fisker: Old people.

Hilary T. N. Seuss: Young people.

People.


Children with no mommy.

img827.imageshack.us
 
2011-02-21 05:28:36 AM  
People that stand on the left side of subway's escalators.

Idiots that spend 10 minutes deciding on what to order at the counter of McDonald's while shiat tons of people are queuing. You have all the time in the world to think while waiting, now, at the counter, you decide to ask your kids, your sisters, and your parents one what do they want?
 
2011-02-21 05:28:42 AM  
They didn't include the scientific explanation for 'You wait ages for a bus, then 2 come along at once.'
 
2011-02-21 05:31:34 AM  
huh. work now classifies Cracked as tasteless and offensive and blocked it.
 
2011-02-21 05:33:34 AM  
I know somebody is expecting to see this so here you go...


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-02-21 05:34:01 AM  

Masso: People that stand on the left side of subway's escalators.


Except for the fact that here in Australia it's the right... SO MUCH THIS!
 
2011-02-21 05:35:59 AM  
People that talk to the grocery clerk, and when they are done, they finally decide to put everything they laid out on the counter away while your shiat has already been rang up.
 
2011-02-21 05:38:20 AM  

Noon Blue Apples: 10) People who squat and read in the aisles of bookstores


I would never have thought to list them, but they are an annoyance. Why do they choose such an uncomfortable way to read? And why do it in the aisle cross-wise so that no one can get around them? I don't want want to have to scrape by your ass like it's the Titanic and I'm an iceberg.
 
2011-02-21 05:38:49 AM  
Sun God: Wow. Another Cracked list. Talk about annoying.

11) People that come into a thread about something they're not interested in, just to announce their displeasure about the thread.
 
2011-02-21 05:40:49 AM  

lordargent: Sun God: Wow. Another Cracked list. Talk about annoying.

11) People that come into a thread about something they're not interested in, just to announce their displeasure about the thread.


Are you sure you want to tumble down this hill?
 
2011-02-21 05:43:02 AM  
People who swipe their hand through a closing elevator door. fark you.
 
2011-02-21 05:43:37 AM  

lordargent: Sun God: Wow. Another Cracked list. Talk about annoying.

11) People that come into a thread about something they're not interested in, just to announce their displeasure about the thread.


Your comment displeases me.
 
2011-02-21 05:43:46 AM  
People that walk through the carriages on trains as they approach their stop, squeezing past everyone and knocking people about. Can you not walk those 20 yards when you get off the train?? You farking morons!!!

/everyday I see this, every day...
// Oh and people that talk about their kids, you know what? I dont give a fark if it can fly, just shut up!
 
2011-02-21 05:58:34 AM  
15) The day of the triffids.
 
2011-02-21 05:58:53 AM  
People who walk/run up or down escalators, especially when there is a stairway with noone using it between the up and down escalators, and expect everyone to get out of their way!
 
2011-02-21 06:02:03 AM  
I saw something unusual at the self-check at the supermarket yesterday. A woman piled her purchases beside her cloth grocery bags before putting them in. I guess those packages of pasta were like tetris blocks to her.
 
2011-02-21 06:04:38 AM  

Mini Ditka: People who swipe their hand through a closing elevator door. fark you.


People who barge into an opening elevator before I've gotten off. fark you.
 
2011-02-21 06:07:12 AM  
42) People who insist on coming into the thread and posting their own addenda to the list in the article.
 
2011-02-21 06:07:26 AM  

just_another_asshole/jaa: People who walk/run up or down escalators, especially when there is a stairway with noone using it between the up and down escalators, and expect everyone to get out of their way!


Yeah, but the stairs are always blocked by groups of 5 old women walking in a V formation.
 
2011-02-21 06:09:29 AM  
16). Old naked guys in the locker room, yapping on and on about onion belts and Kaiser Wilhelm
 
2011-02-21 06:10:40 AM  
People with 4 kids in a grocery store pushing a kiddie cart with no passengers.
 
2011-02-21 06:14:43 AM  
I admit I have done that but usually it is because I am so used to not seeing anyone getting on or off the elevator (it isn't a busy building) that by the time I get on I realize that there were people getting off. Yeah brain = autopilot

gmoney101: People that walk through the carriages on trains as they approach their stop, squeezing past everyone and knocking people about. Can you not walk those 20 yards when you get off the train?? You farking morons!!!

/everyday I see this, every day...
// Oh and people that talk about their kids, you know what? I dont give a fark if it can fly, just shut up!

 
2011-02-21 06:15:37 AM  
^^^ Wth? I was responding to the one above about people barging on elevators.
 
2011-02-21 06:29:22 AM  

rikkards: ^^^ Wth? I was responding to the one above about people barging on elevators.


People who post about one thing but then quote another. fark you.

/;-)
 
2011-02-21 06:36:50 AM  
Everyone thinks that jet engines push against the air.
 
2011-02-21 06:44:55 AM  
People that think jet engines push against the air. fark you.
 
2011-02-21 06:52:18 AM  

gmoney101: People that walk through the carriages on trains as they approach their stop, squeezing past everyone and knocking people about. Can you not walk those 20 yards when you get off the train?? You farking morons!!!

/everyday I see this, every day...
// Oh and people that talk about their kids, you know what? I dont give a fark if it can fly, just shut up!


I just know what doors to enter that will drop me right at the exit. Those cairrages can be pretty crowded, though so one should expect some pushing.
 
2011-02-21 06:53:16 AM  
People who mindlessly jump on a bandwagon by repeating a tag phrase. fark you.
 
2011-02-21 06:53:55 AM  

LadyMech: Noon Blue Apples: 10) People who squat and read in the aisles of bookstores

I would never have thought to list them, but they are an annoyance. Why do they choose such an uncomfortable way to read? And why do it in the aisle cross-wise so that no one can get around them? I don't want want to have to scrape by your ass like it's the Titanic and I'm an iceberg.


I just say "excuse me", politely and without rancor, but then stand there and stare at them until they move their fat ass.

/Though, now that I have my Nook, I'm in the bookstore much less often.
 
2011-02-21 06:59:14 AM  
My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.
 
2011-02-21 07:03:14 AM  

The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.


Maybe you should get taxed for every mile you drive. You get taxed more if the roadway allows you to go faster.
 
2011-02-21 07:03:20 AM  
0. Cracked greenlights.
 
2011-02-21 07:06:15 AM  
People who think that anyone cares what annoys them really bother me.
 
2011-02-21 07:08:15 AM  
That we still say dial a number, even though we no longer have dials on phones (for the most part). Can we say "call" now?

/Scientific explanation: Old people can't change and still use dial phones, so we have to still say dial or they'll get confused and die trying to call 911. Like keeping pennies.
//Get off our lawns!
 
2011-02-21 07:08:18 AM  

Sun God: The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.

Maybe you should get taxed for every mile you drive. You get taxed more if the roadway allows you to go faster.


How would that solve the issue? They're still going the same distance but are clogging up roadways while doing it. I rarely see anybody under-taking so middle-lane hogs effectively negate a whole lane of the motorway.
 
2011-02-21 07:10:38 AM  

inkblot: 0. Cracked greenlights.


It's a syndrome. Fark can't do it, why not let a spurious self-embodied ad-site amalgamation do it?
 
2011-02-21 07:12:28 AM  

The Envoy: How would that solve the issue? They're still going the same distance but are clogging up roadways while doing it. I rarely see anybody under-taking so middle-lane hogs effectively negate a whole lane of the motorway.


How much did the roadway cost? Have not the tolls paid for it already?
 
2011-02-21 07:15:19 AM  
People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!
 
2011-02-21 07:21:13 AM  

The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.


Police are not the answer to anything. Well unless you asked the question "Who are the most worthless douche bags on the planet?"...Then police would be the answer.

Also while I agree if you're not passing you should move out of the left lane... generally speaking on an up to speed highway most people are doing well over the speed limit. The left lane is mostly full of people going 10+ over the limit. Then someone gets pissy about the guy only doing 9 over the limit and it leads to a retarded fark post.
 
2011-02-21 07:22:44 AM  

Sun God: The Envoy: How would that solve the issue? They're still going the same distance but are clogging up roadways while doing it. I rarely see anybody under-taking so middle-lane hogs effectively negate a whole lane of the motorway.

How much did the roadway cost? Have not the tolls paid for it already?


What does that have to do with incorrect lane usage and the ensuing traffic problems? Road tax, paid annually or bi-annually, pays for new roads and road maintenance. You have to remember we're all socialists over here.

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


"Tenants" instead of "tenets".
 
2011-02-21 07:28:47 AM  
People who forget to turn off their high beams during the daytime (or simply don't care).

/pisses me off.
 
2011-02-21 07:28:56 AM  
I'm not seeing how driving with 3-4 car lengths of open space in front of you frees up a traffic jam a mile down the road.
 
2011-02-21 07:29:41 AM  

MayoSlather: Police are not the answer to anything. Well unless you asked the question "Who are the most worthless douche bags on the planet?"...Then police would be the answer.

Also while I agree if you're not passing you should move out of the left lane... generally speaking on an up to speed highway most people are doing well over the speed limit. The left lane is mostly full of people going 10+ over the limit. Then someone gets pissy about the guy only doing 9 over the limit and it leads to a retarded fark post.


Generally speaking, your generalisations about US roads in your area do not pertain to those in the UK. The driving lane is not full of people going 10+ over the limit. It's full of old people, heavy vehicles, caravans etc. Those that aren't clogging up the central lane that is.

Another method to combat it would be to have a motorway section on the driving test, but financial penalties and points on a licence is the only way to get those who have already passed their test.

Don't be too hard on yourself, your post wasn't THAT retarded.
 
2011-02-21 07:32:38 AM  

LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)


agreed. that was great.
 
2011-02-21 07:35:44 AM  

The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.


Don´t ever drive in the US, I´m amazed at how orderly driving is here after learning to highway drive on the DC beltway. Everyone says Spain has crazy drivers but it´s remarkably orderly to me.
 
2011-02-21 07:37:00 AM  
More like six things that annoy people who live in urban areas.
"I've had years of cramped up city life, trapped like ducks in a pen"......... I pity the fools.

/Uppity country boy
 
2011-02-21 07:37:05 AM  

mamoru: 7.) Mosquitos.


HEY
 
2011-02-21 07:43:52 AM  
This (new window) guy.
 
2011-02-21 07:45:45 AM  
"You're on the jet bridge waiting for the lucky bastards already on the plane to stow their belongings in the overhead compartment. Suddenly, a fellow member of Boarding Group C pushes you from behind."


When you're 6'3"/250lb., this never happens to you. Ever.

I do see the crowding that tfa talks about, but there's always these little space bubbles around me and the other tall people. It's kind of amusing.
 
2011-02-21 07:49:46 AM  

The Envoy: Don't be too hard on yourself, your post wasn't THAT retarded.


Thanks. Although I still contend your post was THAT retarded.

Your nanny state solution sounds like something a brit would suggest. Let's just fine people for anything you don't like...Wait I'm sure you've put lots of time and research into this whole scheme so it must be a viable solution. I'm sure police will easily be able to enforce such a thing and passing this law will have a fantastic benefit for clearing up your roadways. Sounds great! Cheerio!
 
2011-02-21 07:50:47 AM  

Purple_Jack: They didn't include the scientific explanation for 'You wait ages for a bus, then 2 come along at once.'


That's easy: Whatever it was that slowed the first one down is not going to slow the second one down, since almost invariably it's a passenger-related slowdown. A wheel-chair-bound person on a route without wheelchair capable buses; an elderly person struggling to find the correct change; a rowdy drunk who refuses to take his seat quietly - whatever the reason, it slows only one bus down, and enough that the following bus on the same route catches up.

It seems (at least, in my experience in Australia and London) that buses on the same route do not (or are not allowed) to overtake a leading bus; I suppose it's so that people in the slower bus do not feel that they should have caught the next bus; so that there is not a race between buses on the same path.

Additionally, it makes the problem worse, as the lead bus is picking up ALL the waiting passengers (some who would normally have been picked up by the next bus), meaning that the closely following second bus has no passengers waiting, only unloading, and actually experiences a faster-than-normal route path.

In any case, what you have is a FIFO stack that can only go as fast as the lead element - a long gap and then two or three buses all at once.
 
2011-02-21 08:00:42 AM  
with bonus lewis black joke!
 
2011-02-21 08:00:50 AM  
As tot he driving technique mentioned in TFA, of course it works: that's what all non-peak-hour traffic is... large gaps between cars. It's just that it reaches a certain density during peak hour where people are not leaving enough reaction time.

Clarkson (of Top Gear fame) said it once: If, on a freeway or motorway, you are driving along at the speed limit and you put your foot on the brakes, you've done something wrong already. Now, this sounds a bit abrupt and he was ridiculed for it on screen, but his point was that you, or the people in front of you, haven't left enough reaction time. Nearly everything on a modern freeway or motorway should be very predictable - there are no traffic lights or traffic controls, all the exits and entries have ample warning and merging lanes - everyone should be able to smoothly move forward without speeding up or slowing down dramatically; the variances should be such that it can all be controlled by acceleration or lack thereof. Jamming on, or even tapping, the brakes should be avoided, as it's inefficient or means that something unpredictable has happened.

Of course, this is all best-case scenario. From what I hear of British motorways, 75% of them are under construction at any given time. But still, the ideal is there.
 
2011-02-21 08:01:46 AM  
7) Tribbles
 
2011-02-21 08:02:03 AM  
""I HAVE IMPORTANT, QUESADILLA-RELATED BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO."

Somehow that made me chuckle.
 
2011-02-21 08:03:56 AM  

jeanwearinfool: This (new window) guy.


I'm sorry.
 
2011-02-21 08:07:23 AM  

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


As far as screwing up the english language is concerned, there's really only one that makes me want to grab a hot poker and sodomize people.

"OMG, look outside, it's literally raining cats and dogs out there..."

AAAARRARRRGHGHG!!!!!!

the worst part? Webster actually accepts this usage of 'literally' now, simply because too many idiots don't know how to use the word properly.

/you're dead to me Webster, it's Oxford from now on.
 
2011-02-21 08:08:19 AM  

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


Irregardless, it's a mute point.
 
2011-02-21 08:21:04 AM  

Lupine Chemist: Don´t ever drive in the US, I´m amazed at how orderly driving is here after learning to highway drive on the DC beltway. Everyone says Spain has crazy drivers but it´s remarkably orderly to me.


The DC beltway is basically the thunderdome of highway driving. I have driven in bad rush hour traffic in quite a few east coast cities; DC, Baltimore, Philly, NY, Richmond, etc. I usually consider myself fairly good at highway driving but DC.... The volume of traffic on the road is comparable to other cities, but in NY or Philly that traffic would grind to a crawl. In DC it could be going 80 mph for a mile, gridlocked for a mile, 80 mph for another mile. Its every man for himself out there.
 
2011-02-21 08:22:48 AM  

Mini Ditka: jeanwearinfool: This (new window) guy.

I'm sorry.


That got me at first too. (redirects everyone to their own profile.)

/nicely done jeanwearinfool, you win 1 internets.
 
2011-02-21 08:27:31 AM  
No comments regarding the stupidity that is bumper stickers? Then again, farkers seem like a bumper sticker type crowd.
 
2011-02-21 08:29:30 AM  

cassanovascotian:
That got me at first too. (redirects everyone to their own profile.)

/nicely done jeanwearinfool, you win 1 internets.


Brilliant!!
 
2011-02-21 08:30:03 AM  

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


There is no mix up with "I could care less", probably the phrase is meant sarcastically like "I should be so lucky", I've also heard it is a reference to a longer saying in a Jane Austin novel.

Either way, "I could care less" has been in that form for as long as it has been able to be traced back. If you said "I couldn't care less", that would be mixing up your sayings, even if on the surface that would seem more logical.
 
2011-02-21 08:33:10 AM  

The Envoy: MayoSlather: Police are not the answer to anything. Well unless you asked the question "Who are the most worthless douche bags on the planet?"...Then police would be the answer.

Also while I agree if you're not passing you should move out of the left lane... generally speaking on an up to speed highway most people are doing well over the speed limit. The left lane is mostly full of people going 10+ over the limit. Then someone gets pissy about the guy only doing 9 over the limit and it leads to a retarded fark post.

Generally speaking, your generalisations about US roads in your area do not pertain to those in the UK. The driving lane is not full of people going 10+ over the limit. It's full of old people, heavy vehicles, caravans etc. Those that aren't clogging up the central lane that is.

Another method to combat it would be to have a motorway section on the driving test, but financial penalties and points on a licence is the only way to get those who have already passed their test.

Don't be too hard on yourself, your post wasn't THAT retarded.


There is a post driving examination completion further education thingamajig, Pass Plus, and it's all about motorway driving. Everyone would like it to be part of the original test, but at the moment you have to pay extra and all you get in return is a slight reduction on insurance costs.

Just remember, financial penalties are never the solution to anything, and anything which you are fined for currently has rapidly become nothing more than an exercise in garnering funds, as opposed to enforcing safety laws. You only have to look at what London councils are doing to our roads to realise they care not one bit for safety.

And what are you saying to fine people for? For driving in the wrong lane? Really? That's crazy. I may not like being stuck behind someone doing the speed limit, thinking he's upholding the law and being a moral crusader against speeding, but he's just a dick and will be killed in a crash caused by his own actions one day, that'll do better than any fine.
 
2011-02-21 08:35:06 AM  

missmarsha: gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!

Irregardless, it's a mute point.


People who type sentences that include incredibly long words and proper punctuation and then use 'ur' instead of 'your'.

/It begs the question
 
2011-02-21 08:37:44 AM  
Where is screaming babby?
 
2011-02-21 08:41:09 AM  

AynRandy: The DC beltway is basically the thunderdome of highway driving. I have driven in bad rush hour traffic in quite a few east coast cities; DC, Baltimore, Philly, NY, Richmond, etc. I usually consider myself fairly good at highway driving but DC.... The volume of traffic on the road is comparable to other cities, but in NY or Philly that traffic would grind to a crawl. In DC it could be going 80 mph for a mile, gridlocked for a mile, 80 mph for another mile. Its every man for himself out there.


The DC beltway is a pleasant Sunday drive in the park compared to the Atlanta Perimeter
 
2011-02-21 08:48:24 AM  
n+1) What they've done to Sesame Street
 
2011-02-21 08:52:56 AM  

Queen Mab: The DC beltway is a pleasant Sunday drive in the park compared to the Atlanta Perimeter


Probably is if you aren't familiar with DC.
 
2011-02-21 09:00:03 AM  
7. My boss
 
2011-02-21 09:03:34 AM  

Gwyrddu: There is no mix up with "I could care less", probably the phrase is meant sarcastically like "I should be so lucky", I've also heard it is a reference to a longer saying in a Jane Austin novel.

Either way, "I could care less" has been in that form for as long as it has been able to be traced back. If you said "I couldn't care less", that would be mixing up your sayings, even if on the surface that would seem more logical.


Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.
 
2011-02-21 09:12:35 AM  
i235.photobucket.com

/7. Ben Affleck
 
2011-02-21 09:17:00 AM  

The Envoy: Sun God: The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.

Maybe you should get taxed for every mile you drive. You get taxed more if the roadway allows you to go faster.

How would that solve the issue? They're still going the same distance but are clogging up roadways while doing it. I rarely see anybody under-taking so middle-lane hogs effectively negate a whole lane of the motorway.


I can't stand limeys that don't speak American.
 
2011-02-21 09:17:19 AM  

American Decency Association: what penis's might look like


8. Incorrect usage of punctuation
 
2011-02-21 09:17:45 AM  
7. Cracked lists.
 
2011-02-21 09:20:52 AM  
What a waste of bandwidth. I could have written that same article in 1/4 of the space.

6 Problems:

[Insert images here]

The explanation:

Lack of patience for whatever reason.
 
2011-02-21 09:28:58 AM  

austin_millbarge: /7. Ben Affleck


Phantoms


/yo
 
2011-02-21 09:29:37 AM  

AynRandy: The DC beltway is basically the thunderdome of highway driving. I have driven in bad rush hour traffic in quite a few east coast cities; DC, Baltimore, Philly, NY, Richmond, etc. I usually consider myself fairly good at highway driving but DC.... The volume of traffic on the road is comparable to other cities, but in NY or Philly that traffic would grind to a crawl. In DC it could be going 80 mph for a mile, gridlocked for a mile, 80 mph for another mile. Its every man for himself out there.


Philly traffic can die in a farking fire. I've been on the Beltway, midtown Manhattan, Baltimore, downtown Orlando, you name it, and none of them hold a candle to Philly. Farking one-way streets, construction, dodging potholes/sinkholes that PennDot never fixes, people that don't know where the hell they're going, douchebags on bicycles, dumbass pedestrians, the list goes on. If I ever need to go into Philly, I take the train because driving there gives me a farking stroke.

/get to go down there this week, on the Boulevard, no less
//looking SO forward to it
 
2011-02-21 09:31:28 AM  
I am most annoyed by some idiot on a motorcycle, riding like an idiot with a HUGE helmet on, but nothing else but a t shirt and shorts...guess he must figure that, his face and head will look great in the casket, even if his arms and legs are mostly missing...still I hear those funeral dudes can really do a lot with plactic and clay....
 
2011-02-21 09:34:02 AM  

LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)


Often, my hole is the only thing letting people in.
 
2011-02-21 09:35:01 AM  

1. Put snakes on plane:
Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.


Just because I hurt your preconception of reality doesn't mean I'm wrong, I am quite right about the "I could care less" being the correct expression here, since nobody knows for sure where the root of the phrase truly came from. I listed some speculation, and some people also guess that it did come from the negative, but since nobody can prove its true source, you can't say "I could care less" is somehow wrong because of what you want it to mean.

Anyway, I'm insulted by the implication that I would waste my time with an elaborate troll on such a minor issue, regardless of whether I'm right or not, that is what I've read and what I believe to be the truth here.
 
2011-02-21 09:38:18 AM  
Carnies
 
2011-02-21 09:41:23 AM  

log_jammin: huh. work now classifies Cracked as tasteless and offensive and blocked it.


I just switched jobs from one that blocked it, to one that doesn't. I have to be honest, that really bugged me b/c I admit to liking quite a few of these articles they do.

/yes, i like Cracked
//flame on
 
2011-02-21 09:52:42 AM  
7. Clowns that look into your bedroom window at night while they masturbate.

I have a theory that people tend to walk in crowds and drive in similar manners. No way to prove it, I just have a feeling there is alot of truth behind it. If you drive slow and cut people off, you probably do the same thing walking in a mall, or an airport, etc...
 
2011-02-21 09:53:32 AM  

LadyMech: Noon Blue Apples: 10) People who squat and read in the aisles of bookstores

I would never have thought to list them, but they are an annoyance. Why do they choose such an uncomfortable way to read? And why do it in the aisle cross-wise so that no one can get around them? I don't want want to have to scrape by your ass like it's the Titanic and I'm an iceberg.


Did you just watch "Titantic" last night? I find it odd you came up with that analogy out of the blue :-)
 
2011-02-21 09:53:51 AM  
Every single person in my office. All they talk about is Jersey Shore and sports. They also are always pissy about having to do their job. OH NOES the phone is ringing! Douchebags, all of them.
 
2011-02-21 09:56:56 AM  

LadyMech: Noon Blue Apples: 10) People who squat and read in the aisles of bookstores

I would never have thought to list them, but they are an annoyance. Why do they choose such an uncomfortable way to read? And why do it in the aisle cross-wise so that no one can get around them? I don't want want to have to scrape by your ass like it's the Titanic and I'm an iceberg.


Not everyone is obese and/or has atrophied legs.

If you stand really close to those squatters, they tend to move.
 
2011-02-21 09:59:13 AM  

MayoSlather: Thanks. Although I still contend your post was THAT retarded.

Your nanny state solution sounds like something a brit would suggest. Let's just fine people for anything you don't like...Wait I'm sure you've put lots of time and research into this whole scheme so it must be a viable solution. I'm sure police will easily be able to enforce such a thing and passing this law will have a fantastic benefit for clearing up your roadways. Sounds great! Cheerio!


Your post smacks of butt-hurt. So in your retarded view, enforcing an already existing regulation , which will assist in the efficiency and safety of road travel and serve as a source of revenue, is a bad thing. Ok, go ahead and explain that please. Unless of course you didn't know that and instead thought I was proposing new regulations, which would be stupid.

How difficult would it be for police to enforce this? Just about as difficult as enforcing speeding laws, using a mobile while driving, that kind of thing. Witness it, pull them over, fine. Not very difficult. They don't actually require any specialist equipment to do this, so what's your point here? If it's some kind of anti-police "they can't do more than two things at once derp" argument then I'd have to ask if you're trying to be THAT retarded.

Slaxl: There is a post driving examination completion further education thingamajig, Pass Plus, and it's all about motorway driving. Everyone would like it to be part of the original test, but at the moment you have to pay extra and all you get in return is a slight reduction on insurance costs.


That's my point, it should form part of the test. An optional further component does nothing in terms of teaching the majority the laws as they stand under the Roads and Traffic Act 1988, so how do you publicise it? I'd imagine the uproar about fines would do a pretty good job.

Just remember, financial penalties are never the solution to anything, and anything which you are fined for currently has rapidly become nothing more than an exercise in garnering funds, as opposed to enforcing safety laws. You only have to look at what London councils are doing to our roads to realise they care not one bit for safety.

My argument is not just about safety, there's efficiency too. Enforcing this existing regulation would go a long way to mitigating the negative effects one idiot (and there are at least tens of thousands of people who don't understand the rules of the road - have you been on a motorway recently?!) can have on the amount of road available to be driven on. Unless you're a fan of under-taking then having people drive properly can only be a good thing. Consider that it would potentially reduce under-taking and that is immediately a safety benefit, no? A small one, but still a benefit nonetheless.

And what are you saying to fine people for? For driving in the wrong lane? Really? That's crazy.

A fine for breaking a law is crazy? Does the law not make sense? Should we instead waste a few billion more on expanding capacity only for fools to then negate that because they don't know how to drive properly? Also consider this: what are the chances this is the ONLY bit of the highway code these idiots don't know/understand? Not much are they? Are you ok with people bombing around the place with no idea about how they're meant to be driving that enormous lump of metal? Forgive me for not being comfortable with that.

I may not like being stuck behind someone doing the speed limit, thinking he's upholding the law and being a moral crusader against speeding, but he's just a dick and will be killed in a crash caused by his own actions one day, that'll do better than any fine.

This is not about speed. I drive a 1.6 Focus, I CAN'T speed. It's about having to sit behind some idiot taking up two lanes because I won't under-take and they're too stupid to understand the rules of the road they're sharing with me. It's about not wanting to get held up in traffic while there are HUNDREDS of miles of road effectively shut off by the ignorant. It's all well and good wishing fiery death on them except if that crash maims or kills others. That's like saying drink-driving's ok because drink-drivers are just dicks and will be killed in a crash caused by their own actions one day, that'll do better than any fine. It rarely works out that way though, does it?
 
2011-02-21 09:59:32 AM  
I think that the only thing of real value from that article was definitely the video on breaking up shockwave traffic jams. I do it every freaking day after work (thank you city for building one lane to merge onto the highway everyone wants to get on and building two lanes that go back into the city that we just left). I've noticed that every once in a while, someone else starts leaving space too and traffic starts to break up in a couple of minutes, unless the major highway is severely backed up too.
 
2011-02-21 10:00:28 AM  

Gwyrddu: 1. Put snakes on plane:
Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.

Just because I hurt your preconception of reality doesn't mean I'm wrong, I am quite right about the "I could care less" being the correct expression here, .


no dude, it isn't
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw
 
2011-02-21 10:03:30 AM  

Pucca: Every single person in my office.


If one or two people around you are jerks, that's normal. If everyone around you is a jerk, you're the one with the problem.

/It's the opposite of poker, where you're the sucker if you can't spot the sucker.
 
2011-02-21 10:06:52 AM  
The coworker in the cube next to you that coughs and clears her throat every 50 seconds.
 
2011-02-21 10:07:40 AM  

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


My ex would say shiat like "It's all water under the dam" and other crap. Kicked her to the curb and good riddance. Now, if only we could keep people on NPR from mangling metaphors.
What really annoys me is when people use archaic sayings that have no applicable use anymore. Or sports metaphors.
Either way, you display your ignorance and inability to communicate to all.

I guess the uptick of this is just a bellweater of the sign of the times in this zeitgeist world we live in.
 
2011-02-21 10:09:24 AM  
29. Now that the snow has finally melted here in the Midwest....all the farkin a-holes that let their dog shiat on the lawn, the sidewalks, anyplace!!! and DIDN'T PICK IT UP!

/hate running the gauntlet
 
2011-02-21 10:11:53 AM  
gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!

Irregardless, it's a mute point.


Supposibly alot of people take that for granit...
 
2011-02-21 10:12:41 AM  

LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)


Agreed, that was pretty cool.
 
2011-02-21 10:13:54 AM  
The coworker in the cube next to you that coughs and clears her throat every 50 seconds.

Heh,... you MUST work near me. The guy behind my cube clears his throat every 20-30 seconds (no exageration) and blames it on sinus issues.
 
2011-02-21 10:13:59 AM  

Hilary T. N. Seuss: Young people.


I couldn't agree with you more. I'm 34, nothing annoys me more than 18-25 y/o's.
When I was that age, I understood that I was young and that I had a lot to learn. These dumbfarks somehow believe that in their short time being adults they have a magical insight on things. When in reality they simply too dumb, they simply haven't had the experiences to judge an idea against. Snowflake syndrome, they are told they are smart all of their lives, to help their self esteem, and when young adults, without failures & accomplishments, they somehow believe they have the same knowledge/wisdom as someone who has been an adult for 5-10x longer.

Unconscious Incompetence - individual neither understands nor knows how to do something, nor recognizes the deficit, nor has a desire to address it (wikipedia)
 
2011-02-21 10:14:17 AM  
Fuggin Bizzy 2011-02-21 10:03:30 AM
Pucca: Every single person in my office.

If one or two people around you are jerks, that's normal. If everyone around you is a jerk, you're the one with the problem.

/It's the opposite of poker, where you're the sucker if you can't spot the sucker.


Yes I'm the one with the problem because I don't care about Jersey Shore or if the Ravens won.
I also don't spew racist and homophobic comments and talk about how wonderful the country was when Bush was president. I have the problem tho.. definitely.
 
2011-02-21 10:15:21 AM  
one word could have explained this entire article and thread on what we hate---the word is "others"
 
2011-02-21 10:15:38 AM  
11.) When they switch Darrins or Beckys
 
2011-02-21 10:17:50 AM  

Pucca: Fuggin Bizzy 2011-02-21 10:03:30 AM
Pucca: Every single person in my office.

If one or two people around you are jerks, that's normal. If everyone around you is a jerk, you're the one with the problem.

/It's the opposite of poker, where you're the sucker if you can't spot the sucker.


Yes I'm the one with the problem because I don't care about Jersey Shore or if the Ravens won.
I also don't spew racist and homophobic comments and talk about how wonderful the country was when Bush was president. I have the problem tho.. definitely.


Keep talkin'...
 
2011-02-21 10:18:36 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)

Often, my hole is the only thing letting people in.


Do people ever force themselves into your hole?
 
2011-02-21 10:23:43 AM  
8.) The co-worker that stares at your lunch.
 
2011-02-21 10:24:50 AM  
People who wait to merge until the last minute when there is a lane closure. You are not more important than the rest of us! (It should be legal to pull them out of their cars and beat them)
 
2011-02-21 10:27:29 AM  

cassanovascotian: Gwyrddu: 1. Put snakes on plane:
Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.

Just because I hurt your preconception of reality doesn't mean I'm wrong, I am quite right about the "I could care less" being the correct expression here, .

no dude, it isn't
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw


Except he didn't actually answer anything about the actual origin of the word, which is more important here than his interpretation of the term. Here's another
interpretation of the term.

Here's an explanation here as well. I mean it could be "I could care less" did come "I couldn't care less", but we don't know, so saying it wrong is just your interpretation of the term, which may or may not be right.
 
2011-02-21 10:30:23 AM  
I see that short people was left off the list.
 
2011-02-21 10:35:09 AM  
The human brain likes things to be predictable, and it can't really relax and "tune out" something that doesn't make sense. You might notice yourself trying to fill in the other half of the phone conversations you overhear. It's the same mechanism that makes it so hard to walk away after you've seen the first 15 minutes of an episode of CSI or Law & Order: The brain naturally hates leaving questions unanswered.

I liked that part. Makes me feel better about obsessing over relationships that lack closure. I keep telling my brain to shut up and get over it, but after a few days there it is, replaying a conversation again, attempting to analyze and make sense of it.
 
2011-02-21 10:35:20 AM  
People who fart in elevators...that's just mean.
 
2011-02-21 10:35:33 AM  

loonatic112358: I see that short people was left off the list.


Let's just say "Randy Newman songs in general."
 
2011-02-21 10:39:34 AM  

CrawlingKingSnake: People who fart in elevators...that's just mean.


Look, I said I was sorry.
 
2011-02-21 10:43:18 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Let's just say "Randy Newman songs in general."


I was referring to people of lesser heights, mr Newman was just singing about a truth.
 
2011-02-21 10:46:41 AM  

loonatic112358: I see that short people was left off the list.


You just looked over 'em.

Oh, yea. Oversensitive people piss me off, too. (yea I'm looking at you, Feminists)
 
2011-02-21 10:46:52 AM  
8.) The co-worker that stares at your lunch.

Oh so much THIS... Throw in the coworker that always comes by your cube just as you're sitting down to eat your freshly heated lunch and procedes to stand there and chit chat about your food until it's cold.
 
2011-02-21 10:49:22 AM  
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Let's just say "Randy Newman songs in general."

I was referring to people of lesser heights, mr Newman was just singing about a truth.


[old]
People that took that song literally and staged protests - not getting the joke. Also includes people that didn't understand the lyrical context in which the "little f@ggot" line in 'Money for Nothin'
[/old]
 
2011-02-21 10:51:20 AM  

Gwyrddu:
Except he didn't actually answer anything about the actual origin of the word, which is more important here than his interpretation of the term.


which word is it you're referring to? the word "care"? the word "could"? "less"? these are all words with pretty well established definitions. Presumably you meant to say "phrase", or "expression", but if a phrase is going to be interpreted in a way different from it's literal decomposition, then it ought to have some kind of metaphor or analogy in it. There's no imagery, no logical means of interpretation, just no way at all for the phrase "I could care less" to mean "I don't care"


Here's an explanation here as well. I mean it could be "I could care less" did come "I couldn't care less", but we don't know, so saying it wrong is just your interpretation of the term, which may or may not be right.


again, "term"-->"phrase", but more importantly:

ok, so you wanna go with the "whatever people interpret" argument... ok so how about I redefine the word "wrong" to mean "correct". As long as it's clear then for me to use that word in that way is perfectly wrong, wouldn't you agree?

No. because there is an underlying system of logic that is supposed to guide our language, and when people say things that obfuscate communication, it is the responsibility of others to say "No, that's a stupid way of redefining things and it just makes it really hard for people to understand each other clearly. The other way of doing it is much more clear, so stop saying that. It's wrong."

Which is essentially what we're doing right now. Stop saying "I could care less"... it's wrong.
 
2011-02-21 10:53:36 AM  

muck4doo: 8.) The co-worker that stares at your lunch.


Worse yet, the coworker who stares and your lunch and then launches into commentary about either (1) "wow, I wish I could eat that but I'm on a DIET, you know, I can only eat lettuce but it must be nice for you to eat such HEAVY food, I'm so jealous" or (2) "I can't believe you EAT that, really? It smells gross" or the variant (3) "I can't believe you EAT that, you should be a vegetarian!"
 
2011-02-21 10:54:12 AM  

jingks: No comments regarding the stupidity that is bumper stickers? Then again, farkers seem like a bumper sticker type crowd.


I have noticed the connection between the number of bumper stickers and driving ability. Seems the more stickers the worse the driving. Double so if they are political and/or school stickers.

Also worth noting that the group of people who seem to really like the political stickers are the far left folks.

They all piss me off. I dont care about your views, I dont care what school your kid goes to or how well they do there. I just dont farking care.

Sadly while they have the right to bombard me with their opinion I dont have the right to spray paint over it...maybe next time Im behind a car like that Ill just drive with my eyes closed, sooner or later the stickers will get taken care of.
 
2011-02-21 11:00:08 AM  
Let's break this down.

6: That doesn't annoy me as much as people driving while celling. Get a headset from crying out loud.

5: Since the internet was invented, I've never stood in a crowd waiting for tickets.

4: Ehhh... I typically put bumper stickers on to actually make someone laugh, or advertise a place to go. Unless someone's gonna hit me, or accelerating while I have my signal on, I typically don't get mad. When someone's being a jerk, I use Murphy's Law on weight: Heavier vehicles have the right of way.

3: I go around, and if I can't, I don't yell. I usually plan ahead when walking (second nature), so I seldom get caught behind a slowpoke.

2: I do that as best I can, or leave a way out.

1: Again, not a problem. I'm usually the one that tries to help. I see a wreck from 1/2 a mile away, I stop.
 
2011-02-21 11:08:15 AM  

jaylectricity: So is there anything you can do about these things? Yes, actually. A single driver can "break" these jams by leaving a significant amount of open space in front of him in heavy traffic, resisting the temptation to accelerate and close the gap even when cars cut in ahead. This technique not only stops the driver from having to brake when he reaches the back end of a wave, it actually destroys the wave for anyone behind him.

This is basically how I drive. And yes, sometimes the car behind me finds an opportunity to pass me (either on the left or right) and get in front of me and continue to stop and go like they were before...but this time they're like 50 yards closer to their destination.


I'm no scientist, but I have the following complaint or concern regarding this practice:

although you may be helping the greater good, aren't you slowing your own progress as the cost?

I am raising this concern in opposition to myself as well, because I drive like this. My wife thinks I'm some grandma on the highway. I also understand that the slowest drivers are the ones who create the most dangerous of situations. But, in traffic jams, I don't think cruising speed is a factor compared to the distance between cars, and the rate of breaking and accelerating.

So, I always try to travel the speed of traffic (even if it means I have to go over the limit, which aggravates me), but I make sure not to follow anyone too closely. Unfortunately, the rest of the world sees this as a weakness and habitually cuts me off.

plus, i drive a standard, and it's annoying to be rushing to stop all the time, easier just to coast along in neutral, aware of an appropriate spatio-temporal balance with my fellow automobilers

i hate standards, but I think everyone should drive one (or at least, learn to drive one), makes you pay more attention, and makes texting and cell phoning more impractical...
 
2011-02-21 11:14:19 AM  
People pushing baby strollers in crowded places.
 
2011-02-21 11:15:55 AM  

cassanovascotian: ok, so you wanna go with the "whatever people interpret" argument... ok so how about I redefine the word "wrong" to mean "correct". As long as it's clear then for me to use that word in that way is perfectly wrong, wouldn't you agree?

No. because there is an underlying system of logic that is supposed to guide our language, and when people say things that obfuscate communication, it is the responsibility of others to say "No, that's a stupid way of redefining things and it just makes it really hard for people to understand each other clearly. The other way of doing it is much more clear, so stop saying that. It's wrong."


First off, I can think of at least one term that defined as its opposite, "bad" is actually a good thing in modern slang. I'm sure in 19th century slang, "I could care less" was rather witty, and is mostly lost on a modern audience. Maybe in a couple of centuries people will be having a spirited debated as to the true meaning of the word "bad".

Either, I think you are entirely mistaken on English being a logic language. It does follow a set of grammar rules, but rules in English are descriptive, not proscriptive and almost always have exceptions to them. Even basic stuff like English not having infixes can be violated by curse words "absofarkinglutely". Given enough time, we might see English go from an isolating language to synthetic language, or have SVO turn to some other word order as it has done countless times in the past.

If you want a logical language, take up Esperanto or maybe Klingon, languages attached to a real culture are all about history though, history that often gets lost or mistranslated through time.

Look, if you want to change "I could care less" to "I couldn't care less" because it sounds more logical to a modern ear, that is fine with me, English is a living language. But you can't go claiming that people who stick with "I couldn't care less" are saying it wrong, because that is the way the phrase has always went as far back as it can be traced.
 
2011-02-21 11:23:02 AM  
So that means that Washington...is part black?!?!?
 
2011-02-21 11:24:23 AM  
correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.
 
2011-02-21 11:27:28 AM  

Gwyrddu: Here's an explanation here as well. I mean it could be "I could care less" did come "I couldn't care less", but we don't know, so saying it wrong is just your interpretation of the term, which may or may not be right.


We do know, you utter jackass. Stop spreading bullshiat.
 
2011-02-21 11:28:21 AM  

Gwyrddu: correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.


...
 
2011-02-21 11:31:38 AM  

1. Put snakes on plane:
We do know, you utter jackass. Stop spreading bullshiat.


Nobody has shown yet where the phrase has come from, and the fact that all can do is throw around insults means you don't know either.
 
2011-02-21 11:34:33 AM  
These are just theories. Teach the controversy! Annoyance is caused by the Devil and sin.
 
2011-02-21 11:34:45 AM  

Gwyrddu: correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.


Absolutely.

That's a pet peeve of mine.

I hate that.

/couldn't care less
 
2011-02-21 11:35:09 AM  

1. Put snakes on plane: Gwyrddu: correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.

...


See my post above that for the part it replaces, I should have used ... at least around the phrase, I did find it funny how many correction made things even more confusing.
 
2011-02-21 11:37:06 AM  
The Envoy: ~a lot~

I like you. I went straight from driving test to pass-plus to IAM course / testing; I probably had the lowest insurance premium a 17yo could ever have had, and made most of a career out of various forms of driving & instruction. I too, believe the test should be ferociously more stringent and they should fine the balls off of anyone snarling up the roads: especially at speed on motorways, because it's dangerous. I've been in yankyland for a while now though, and there seems to be a widespread attitude of the police are evil and out to get you, beat you up & take your money. In some cases it seems to be true, and that's probably why you get yokels whinging about the idea of being told off for being bad.

For legal reasons I had to take the state licence test here recently; it took 5 minutes at a computer then about 20 minutes and I was legal for the road. It's a joke. The instructor spent most of it apologising for the complete swamp of morans I had to wade through, both then and forevermore on the roads here.

Give up on talking efficiency though, they still think something doing 30-ish to the gallon is good mileage. I find it hysterical and sad all at once.
 
2011-02-21 11:39:45 AM  
TFA If we urbanites really didn't care about the people around us, we'd do stuff like point and stare if someone was wearing a funny hat.

How does that explain People of Walmart (new window)? Are there different rules for the 'burbs?
 
2011-02-21 11:43:33 AM  

varmitydog: More like six things that annoy people who live in urban areas.
"I've had years of cramped up city life, trapped like ducks in a pen"......... I pity the fools.
/Uppity country boy


Ain't that the truth. I can't count the number of Fark threads where people spend hours complaining about being crowded and crammed next to other people, then come right back the next thread and complain about people who don't have the smarts to live like they do.

Sounds like a lifestyle problem, but it isn't my problem.
 
2011-02-21 11:49:41 AM  
Not people who know it all and actually don't know a thing?
 
2011-02-21 11:51:35 AM  

LittleBlondeJug: Gwyrddu: correction: People who stick with "I could care less" are saying it wrong.

Absolutely.

That's a pet peeve of mine.

I hate that.

/couldn't care less


Haha! NICE.
 
2011-02-21 11:51:51 AM  
corasoul.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-02-21 11:59:25 AM  

wambu: TFA If we urbanites really didn't care about the people around us, we'd do stuff like point and stare if someone was wearing a funny hat.

How does that explain People of Walmart (new window)? Are there different rules for the 'burbs?


You've seen the website, wouldn't you be afraid of one of those people charging you like an enraged bull elephant. Not that you couldn't out run them assuming you weren't one of them, but the chance that they could trip and land on some unsuspecting bystander
 
2011-02-21 12:02:02 PM  

Cyrusv10: People who forget to turn off their high beams during the daytime (or simply don't care).

/pisses me off.


No, people at night who don't turn them down when traffic comes the other way or when they come up behind someone. That's the worst.
 
2011-02-21 12:10:43 PM  

pute kisses like a man: jaylectricity: So is there anything you can do about these things? Yes, actually. A single driver can "break" these jams by leaving a significant amount of open space in front of him in heavy traffic, resisting the temptation to accelerate and close the gap even when cars cut in ahead. This technique not only stops the driver from having to brake when he reaches the back end of a wave, it actually destroys the wave for anyone behind him.

This is basically how I drive. And yes, sometimes the car behind me finds an opportunity to pass me (either on the left or right) and get in front of me and continue to stop and go like they were before...but this time they're like 50 yards closer to their destination.

I'm no scientist, but I have the following complaint or concern regarding this practice:

although you may be helping the greater good, aren't you slowing your own progress as the cost?

I am raising this concern in opposition to myself as well, because I drive like this. My wife thinks I'm some grandma on the highway. I also understand that the slowest drivers are the ones who create the most dangerous of situations. But, in traffic jams, I don't think cruising speed is a factor compared to the distance between cars, and the rate of breaking and accelerating.

So, I always try to travel the speed of traffic (even if it means I have to go over the limit, which aggravates me), but I make sure not to follow anyone too closely. Unfortunately, the rest of the world sees this as a weakness and habitually cuts me off.

plus, i drive a standard, and it's annoying to be rushing to stop all the time, easier just to coast along in neutral, aware of an appropriate spatio-temporal balance with my fellow automobilers

i hate standards, but I think everyone should drive one (or at least, learn to drive one), makes you pay more attention, and makes texting and cell phoning more impractical...


Well first off, I don't mind if I get somewhere ten minutes later than I would have had I driven more aggressively. I have organized my life in such a way that it really doesn't matter when I get anywhere. I can leave earlier if I need to be somewhere on time and the time I spend in my car is nice. I turn on sports radio, roll down the window, eat and spit sunflower seeds and just enjoy myself.

Also, I drive this way because it is easier on my car, and is more efficient on the gasoline.
 
2011-02-21 12:13:34 PM  
I could care less about whether people say "I could care less" or "I couldn't care less", but not by much
 
2011-02-21 12:33:51 PM  
18 bis. Lists from sites I can't view at work, especially when nobody posts the whole list.
 
2011-02-21 12:46:30 PM  

bump: The coworker in the cube next to you that coughs and clears her throat every 50 seconds.

Heh,... you MUST work near me. The guy behind my cube clears his throat every 20-30 seconds (no exageration) and blames it on sinus issues.


I know this guy. He also carries a snot rag in his pocket, takes it out and blows his nose in it every five minutes, before sticking it back in his pocket. He re-uses his snot rags until they basically disintegrate, and is partial to the large red and blue cloth snot rags with the white paisley design.
 
2011-02-21 12:48:21 PM  

Gwyrddu: Nobody has shown yet where the phrase has come from, and the fact that all can do is throw around insults means you don't know either.


Such willful ignorance must be exhausting. Read this and STFU.
 
2011-02-21 12:53:51 PM  

Masso: People that stand on the left side of subway's escalators.

Idiots that spend 10 minutes deciding on what to order at the counter of McDonald's while shiat tons of people are queuing. You have all the time in the world to think while waiting, now, at the counter, you decide to ask your kids, your sisters, and your parents one what do they want?


You think that's bad? I used to work at a pizza place. There is nothing more annoying than a customer calling the pizza place and then asking the employee to hold on while they decide what they want to order.

Now that I think about it there is nothing more annoying than customers.

/There should be a day when every person in the service industry gets to say some "No soup for you!" equivalent. The world would be a better place.
 
2011-02-21 12:54:35 PM  
If you like lists of annoying things, one of the best lists in the history of literature is The Miseries of Human Life by James Beresford (1806), expanded in later editions to two volumes.

It was a hit and made GBP 5,000--in 1806 pounds, which were worth about ten times as many dollars as they are today, with the dollar being many times more valuable.

It can be downloaded from Open Library.

There's also an "American" edition, which is to say a rip-off from the days when America was violating European and British copyrights worse than China does today. It is very annoying, with a lot of dialogue and American material added to the drolleries of the original British author.

It is to be found on Google Books under the title Miseries of Human Life, An Old Friend in New Dress.

A short excerpt of the original British book can be purchased with a ball and chain for a bookmark. 'Cute, but it does stack as well as a flatter book. It removes all of the dialogue of the original and leaves the list of miseries, which is more palatable to the modern reader by far.

Books of moaning about annoying things go way back, at least in the societies that were sufficiently rich and leisured to have the time to moan.

Sei Shonagon's Pillow Book contains a list of annoyances and was written around 1000 A.D. give or take, while Europe was too busy trying to crawl out of the Dark Ages to moan much, even if anybody had been literate enough and frivoulous enough to read a book of complaints.

China and Japan produced some wonderfully witty and humourous books which nobody can read nowadays because even scholars don't know all the characters. Works like the Pillow Book often seem incredibly modern for something written during our Middle Ages.

Lists are a high art form under the pen or brushes of the aristocratic sophisticates of China, Japan, the United Kingdom, etc. They're extremely tedious in the hands of ninnies.
 
2011-02-21 12:56:46 PM  
FTFA:
A single driver can "break" these jams by leaving a significant amount of open space in front of him in heavy traffic, resisting the temptation to accelerate and close the gap even when cars cut in ahead.



I do this all the time. This isn't common knowledge?

/curious
 
2011-02-21 12:57:54 PM  

Monkey MKIII: n+1) What they've done to Sesame Street


The inventor of Elmo needs to be shot with extreme prejudice.

/hate that little red bastard but my son loves him
 
2011-02-21 12:59:41 PM  
9) Revolution Number 9
 
2011-02-21 01:08:02 PM  

Road Rash: Carnies


The Dutch.
 
2011-02-21 01:17:14 PM  

tonguedepressor: I know somebody is expecting to see this so here you go...


Thank you.
 
2011-02-21 01:20:16 PM  

1. Put snakes on plane: Gwyrddu: Nobody has shown yet where the phrase has come from, and the fact that all can do is throw around insults means you don't know either.

Such willful ignorance must be exhausting. Read this and STFU.


Meh, I guess I was wrong about the phrase not having a provable source. But your link does prove that "I could care less" is a valid phrase in the US, one different than "I couldn't care less", and both go back at least fifty years, so I don't know where this hostility is coming from.

I suppose next people will biatch about inflammable vs. flammable, or aluminum vs. aluminium.
 
2011-02-21 01:22:52 PM  
So, basically increasing population drives everyone nuts -- a theory I've been backing for a few decades.

I've yet to understand the logic which makes people pour into a small, pretty town for the beauty and relaxation of it, then promptly build on every square inch of available land, invite everyone they know to move there, triple the property values and plow down the forests and fields they came there to enjoy in the first place. Then, they gripe that the town has changed.

As for people getting involved in actions on the streets, like some poor soul getting the shiat kicked out of him by 4 other guys or the old lady on the highway pulled over with a flat tire desperately trying to get help, well there are several things involved.

If you jump into a fight, you risk getting beaten to a pulp. It it's gang related, then you probably will become a later revenge target not to mention that even if not, you face the possibility of a lawsuit from one of the combatants.

If you work, anything that delays you from doing your job can be perceived by your company as non-productive and costing them money. Plus, if you have a logo on your clothing or vehicle, there's a chance the person you tried to help may sue the company because you didn't help EXACTLY right. So, if you stop to help, you can get biatched at by the boss, written up or possibly loose your job. That guy, decades ago, who sued a doctor who stopped to save his life on the roadside after a crash -- for not doing a better job of it -- opened up a whole, new avenue of litigation which resulted in folks NOT stopping for fear of lawsuits and eventually States had to implement a 'Good Samaritan Law'.

As highways became more and more crowded, stinky and noisy and people not only had to meet time tables more, but had to dramatically increase watching out for the other driver, tempers started flaring. Mainly from frustration of being caught in a mess over which they had no control.

When I was a courier for Airborne Express, the seasonal increase of traffic and road work was NOT an acceptable excuse for not making good time on my delivery route. Getting into an accident was barely acceptable so long as it was not my fault.

As traffic has increased, people are under more and more pressure to produce along a time table and crowded highways can simply drive one nuts with frustration.

Then there's the simple, basic fact: jam in 4 times the people that a place was built for and everyone gets on everyone else's nerves because they're forced to live so close together.

Kind of like living in a nice house in a nice neighborhood when your neighbors decide to play loud, annoying rap music all day long basically because they can and don't care if it annoys you or the carport mechanic across the street just HAS to rev up the engine he's working on before attaching the mufflers. Those DIY-ers can drive you to distraction with their weekend hammering, drilling, circular saw screaming, lumber banging and trucks pulling in and out.

So, basically, people become their own worst enemies, especially when packed together like sardines in a can.
 
2011-02-21 01:34:48 PM  
HellRaisingHoosier:
I do this all the time. This isn't common knowledge?

/curious



I have honestly never heard of this before today.

Today I have also learned that since I can't prove the origin of every phrase ever I must assume that the stupid versions of them are the original.

What a day!
 
2011-02-21 01:52:35 PM  
What annoys me is unsure people constantly seeking approval and validation from strangers.

Amirite?
 
2011-02-21 02:02:46 PM  

Rik01: I've yet to understand the logic which makes people pour into a small, pretty town for the beauty and relaxation of it, then promptly build on every square inch of available land, invite everyone they know to move there, triple the property values and plow down the forests and fields they came there to enjoy in the first place. Then, they gripe that the town has changed.


Well. I, for one, didn't move here to enjoy forests _or_ fields. I came for the quirky mom-and-pop shops and restaurants, and proximity to my old home town, and overall city character and attitude.

Then again, I don't find other people to be all _that_ aggravating. Bears, mosquitos, lack of air-condition, and five or six _miles_ being roughly equivalent to "down the street" all rank _way_ higher on my list of annoyances. YMMV.
 
2011-02-21 02:06:49 PM  

Gwyrddu: Such willful ignorance must be exhausting. Read this and STFU.

But your link does prove that "I could care less" is a valid phrase in the US


Actually, his link seems to prove that "I could care less" became, in time, a somewhat popular malformation of the phrase "I couldn't care less".

Popular =/= Valid


so I don't know where this hostility is coming from.

I'm going to guess it is coming from your steadfast claims that "no one really knows" and "both are right" - claims that can easily be seen to be false given google and less than thirty seconds.

For a little while, I thought you were trolling.
 
2011-02-21 02:12:34 PM  
Cracked.com strangely missing from list.
 
2011-02-21 02:13:51 PM  

loonatic112358: wambu: TFA If we urbanites really didn't care about the people around us, we'd do stuff like point and stare if someone was wearing a funny hat.

How does that explain People of Walmart (new window)? Are there different rules for the 'burbs?

You've seen the website, wouldn't you be afraid of one of those people charging you like an enraged bull elephant. Not that you couldn't out run them assuming you weren't one of them, but the chance that they could trip and land on some unsuspecting bystander


With some of the, um, women, it's hard to tell if you're looking at their front or back, so it's impossible to determine which way to run. Best strategy is to remain still and hope they don't notice you/demand sex.
 
2011-02-21 02:46:43 PM  

mamoru: 7.) Mosquitos.


Food for bats, purple martins, mosquito hawks.

/Oh, and thinning the human population via malaria and other blood borne disease.
 
2011-02-21 02:51:27 PM  

MayoSlather: The Envoy: My pet hate is people who drive in the overtaking lanes of the motorway. Are you overtaking someone? No? Then get in the farking driving lane you colossal arsehole! WhatCar estimated that people who drive in the central lane of a 3-lane motorway could free up 700 miles of road each year by driving in the correct lane. These people should be fined and get 3 points. It's a potentially huge earner for the police and has the benefit of improving driving conditions for all. It's win/win, except for the muppets who are unable to drive and nobody gives a shiat about them.

Police are not the answer to anything. Well unless you asked the question "Who are the most worthless douche bags on the planet?"...Then police would be the answer.

Also while I agree if you're not passing you should move out of the left lane... generally speaking on an up to speed highway most people are doing well over the speed limit. The left lane is mostly full of people going 10+ over the limit. Then someone gets pissy about the guy only doing 9 over the limit and it leads to a retarded fark post.


See, here's the thing. The left, or inside lane, is for people traveling long distances, not getting on or off the highway. The 2nd lane is for slower people, or those exiting soon. The right lane is for those exiting, or those just entered the highway.
 
2011-02-21 03:35:45 PM  

wambu: With some of the, um, women, it's hard to tell if you're looking at their front or back, so it's impossible to determine which way to run. Best strategy is to remain still and hope they don't notice you/demand sex.


just remember, like the rhinos of the serengeti they have poor eyesight, but an incredibly sensitive sense of smell and hearing. Staying still won't keep these beasts from trampling or worse, all you can do is move quietly avoiding the worst possible fate...In The World
 
2011-02-21 04:00:05 PM  

LittleBlondeJug: Fuggin Bizzy: LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)

Often, my hole is the only thing letting people in.

Do people ever force themselves into your hole?


Sadly, yes. This happens surprisingly often. They show no interest at all, then at the last minute when it's almost too late - zip! - they're in my hole. Sometimes, it's three at a time.
 
2011-02-21 04:06:04 PM  
People who curl (or do anything other than squat really) in the squat rack.
 
2011-02-21 04:27:10 PM  

LittleBlondeJug: The best thing about that article is the Link to the video about traffic waves. (new window)


Hah, I work with that guy at UW. Zen warrior of traffic waves probably pretty well with Seattle's typical traffic where the slowdowns are all grouped around low-capacity exits. Seattle frequently has those backed up so that the "line" starts before any overhead lane indicators and that really throws non-commuters for a loop, that and left and right side exits all over the place.

I realize that I do this special car lengths technique to absorb waves naturally, mainly because I drive a manual transmission car.
 
2011-02-21 04:45:29 PM  

austin_millbarge: /7. Ben Affleck


He was the bomb in Phantoms, yo!
 
2011-02-21 04:55:46 PM  

gadian: People who mix up sayings. "I could care less". "Minus well" "For all intensive purposes". "Tow the line". English does not work that way!!!! DIAF!!!!


People who think "I could care less" is somehow wrong, and actually go to the trouble to bang on about it.
 
2011-02-21 05:15:45 PM  

WorLord: Popular =/= Valid


It kinda does, actually.
 
2011-02-21 05:47:25 PM  

Gwyrddu: 1. Put snakes on plane:
Let's add to the list people who purposely spread bullshiat. A fire is too good for you.

Just because I hurt your preconception of reality doesn't mean I'm wrong, I am quite right about the "I could care less" being the correct expression here, since nobody knows for sure where the root of the phrase truly came from. I listed some speculation, and some people also guess that it did come from the negative, but since nobody can prove its true source, you can't say "I could care less" is somehow wrong because of what you want it to mean.

Anyway, I'm insulted by the implication that I would waste my time with an elaborate troll on such a minor issue, regardless of whether I'm right or not, that is what I've read and what I believe to be the truth here.


I respectfully disagree, Gwyrddu.

My method for dealing with this is simple.

Someone: I could care less.
Me: I couldn't.

Then, I feel that the meaning has been corrected and if the Someone is question is fairly astute, they will do better next time.
 
2011-02-21 06:46:16 PM  

Noon Blue Apples: just_another_asshole/jaa: People who walk/run up or down escalators, especially when there is a stairway with noone using it between the up and down escalators, and expect everyone to get out of their way!

Yeah, but the stairs are always blocked by groups of 5 old women walking in a V formation.


no way people who walk in the dreaded v formation would ever take the stairs, they are on the escalator one on the right, next one on the left, next on the right and so on! Just try and get past them, ha!
 
2011-02-21 11:44:51 PM  

jeanwearinfool: This (new window) guy.


*clicks on link*

Huh?

*reads URL* Ohhhh.

[ISeeWhatYouDidHere.jpg]
 
2011-02-22 03:33:39 AM  
Worlord

Well. I, for one, didn't move here to enjoy forests _or_ fields. I came for the quirky mom-and-pop shops and restaurants, and proximity to my old home town, and overall city character and attitude.

Then again, I don't find other people to be all _that_ aggravating. Bears, mosquitos, lack of air-condition, and five or six _miles_ being roughly equivalent to "down the street" all rank _way_ higher on my list of annoyances. YMMV.


Well, I live in what used to be a nice, pretty small town and folks came down here to enjoy the Hawaiian-style beaches, the wide, shallow, brackish river packed with fish, the friendly folks, the low crime and the acres of wild woods. I lived in a rural setting with 1 other house on the block and about 12 others in the entire development and acres of wild woods full of assorted animals.

We had maybe 20,000 people in the county. Now we have over 100,000. Most of the beach is developed beyond recognition, there are now 16 houses on my block and 20 on the block behind me and most of the wild woods and animals are gone.

The river now has to have fishing limits since it's nearly fished out and we have to check the pollution levels before going in it. Crime is up. Traffic is obnoxious. You can't hardly see the stars at night due to light pollution and my quiet neighborhood is now noisy. So many people moved in that we're getting pollution in the river from septic tank seepage and I have to drive nearly out of the county to find a nice, quiet section of woods.

The city leaders are still pushing for more development, even though our local water supply is becoming endangered. (Too many people on the aquifer.) Land prices have exploded and housing prices have followed.

You used to be able to metal detect along the Atlantic Ocean on the beach for Spanish Gold (quite a bit of which has been found in the area) but now, so many folks have done the same thing that you're lucky to find a bottle cap plus you risk being mugged walking along there alone at night.

Our police department has doubled and doubled again in size, we've had to build two new jails and my once quiet, dirt road is paved and now has traffic along it 24/7.

Bugs?

Well, we still have mosquitoes but there's been a drastic reduction in the great, colorful swarms of dragonflies, which fed on the mosquitoes and the great clouds of lightening bugs have dwindled to just a few blinkers now and then. Even the song birds are vanishing but the rat population is increasing.

Awhile back, some kids derailed a freight train passing through, just for the hell of it. At night, they tossed a couple of wash machines on the tracks and the train hit them. No one was injured or killed.

Yeah. Massive development is good for the area.
 
2011-02-22 03:37:59 AM  

HellRaisingHoosier: FTFA:
A single driver can "break" these jams by leaving a significant amount of open space in front of him in heavy traffic, resisting the temptation to accelerate and close the gap even when cars cut in ahead.



I do this all the time. This isn't common knowledge?

/curious


I also do this all the time, sad thing is that other drivers think there is enough space to squeeze in. So it still does not work. Annoys me all the time.
 
2011-02-22 04:19:46 AM  

Frederf: I do #2 pretty often, I mean the "wave break" thing. Big trucks tend to break waves as well because of the nature of their vehicles and their experience (i.e. lack of impulsiveness).


Except that ever since the economy put everyone out of work, the same idiots that you ran into on your commute every day are now driving big rigs, and half of them are on meth because they had no idea how long the hours really were.

Old hand truckers were farking awesome, my grandpa was one all his life after the navy. The new ones will sit in the fast lane going 55 for miles sexting their girlfriends, or alternately come up on you and pass going 85, while weaving halfway between lanes. (See a lot of these guys pulled over, the CHP has a whole trucker division now.) Scary shiat. I couldn't put up with it, after a few weeks of putting up with people like me and the rest of the schmucks on the road, I'd end up like the trucker on Duel.

I'm slowly trying to train my fiance to drive the freeway without braking. Building a better world, one at a time...
 
2011-02-22 05:10:24 AM  

The Envoy: This is not about speed. I drive a 1.6 Focus, I CAN'T speed. It's about having to sit behind some idiot taking up two lanes because I won't under-take and they're too stupid to understand the rules of the road they're sharing with me.


California legalized undertaking a few decades ago specifically for this reason: There are too many people on the road who don't know how to drive properly, too many people for the capacity even if a quarter of them didn't throw a wrench in it. VC § 21754. That doesn't help you, but at least it's recognized somewhere that you shouldn't punish the law abiding who are trying to work within the system around the clueless and disinterested.
 
2011-02-22 11:20:18 AM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: 42) People who insist on coming into the thread and posting their own addenda to the list in the article.


43) What Cthulhu said.
44) Has "Old People" been mentioned yet?
 
2011-02-22 12:43:11 PM  

Rik01: Yeah. Massive development is good for the area.


Ouch. Man.

For what its worth, I'm sorry. I am, and will likely remain, partial to bright lights and big cities. I can imagine your pain, though, and that sucks. :-(
 
2011-02-22 01:40:34 PM  

DVDave: Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: 42) People who insist on coming into the thread and posting their own addenda to the list in the article.

43) What Cthulhu said.


We don't know what Cthulhu said...only his homeboy.
 
2011-02-22 02:13:43 PM  
Call me crazy, but I for one found this Cracked list somewhat interesting. For once.

Civil inattention...interesting.
Shockwave traffic jams...makes sense.

But they left off #7: Cracked's inability to put 6 items on a single page!
 
2011-02-22 02:17:35 PM  

malkore: Call me crazy, but I for one found this Cracked list somewhat interesting. For once.

Civil inattention...interesting.
Shockwave traffic jams...makes sense.

But they left off #7: Cracked's inability to put 6 items on a single page!


I used to say the same thing. Then someone said to me (and I quote) "AutoPager is your friend." It is, indeed, now my friend.
 
2011-02-22 11:34:24 PM  
#1 is just more proof that cities and/or any sort of high density living are bad for us. The next time some idiot enviro-hippy whackjob starts spouting off about how suburbs are evil and that we should all be living in high density areas I am going to point them to the related study.
 
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