That is awesome!

I would add: "And bend over and kiss your ass goodbye"

If Aghanistan surrenders, does that mean that France is next to surrender???

WHAT YOU SAY!!!!

In AD 2001
Taliban was getting an asskicking
Taliban: What happen?
Lackey1: Somebody set up us the bomb!
Lackey2: We get signal!
Taliban: What!
Lackey2: Main screen turn on.
Taliban: It's you!
US: How are you gentlemen.
US: All your shiat are blow up by us.
US: You are on the way to destruction.
Taliban: What you say?
US: You have no chance to survive make your time.
US: Ha ha ha ha.

Ha Ha Ha All There Base are Belong To Us! Someone Set up us the Bomb. This is some funny shiat

ALL YOUR BASE...

I know it's old, but I just never tire of watching it.

My fave line:

"Attention Taliban! You are condemned. Did you know that?"

No farking shiat! Thank you Captain Obvious!


-boobies

I am disrespectful to dirt! Can't you see I am serious?

Amazingly similar to the bible.

Surrender to us, or fire will rain down on you.

Cool stuff, when does it start. Will we get to watch on TV?

WoolyDoug: This is no place for loafers! Join me or die! Can you do any less?

WHAT YOU SAY!!!

FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!!!!!!! (insert timothy picture here)

Flakeloaf -- can you point me to a Web list of those chopsocky quotes? I seem to have lost mine...

WoolyDoug: I will banish to the land of wind and ghosts.

# ...praise the Lord and pass the ammo... #

FOR PROJECT INFINITE GREAT JUSTICE!!!!

Holy shiat. Who the hell wrote that crap? It sounds like a cheap tourist guide translation.

A WINNER IS YOU!

Hey, that complete speech was worded in a style that the Taliban uses, talking about "our helicopters will rain fire" and "surrender is your only chance of survival". It's usually those farkers who say stuff like that. Now we've turned it around on them.

JOIN THE MR. SPARKLE REVOLUTION OR DIE!!! CAN YOU DO ANY LESS?

That rules!!!, where is Tokyo Rose when ya ned her. My bet is half the people hearing message don't get it? "Huh, chance of survival? fark I eat dirt now, what could be worse?"

For Great Justice

"...[o]ne message gives the Taliban forces instructions how to surrender to U.S. troops."

NOOOOOO! Kill all the Biatchez!

Wow that's great! Next they should play the speech that Jules uses in Pulp Fiction before he kills people.

Thirdrail, I was gonna say the exact same thing. :)

That's the way to do it. Give directions on how to surrender. I think they'll get the message.

no, no, no. we're doing this all wrong. we need to send the French over to teach them how to surrender properly.

All that would sound great, but if delivered by the People's Champ...The Rock!

but only if ...crap lousy typist

My prediction? Pain!

Whoever wrote that must be a really good USENET poster.

"y0 biatches The U$A 1s g0nna 0wn J00r Azz! N0b0dy Can b33t or l33t FyR3P0W3R Sk1llz!"

Heh heh heh... hilarious.

ALL YOUR CLICHE ARE BELONG TO US!

They left out the parts about "jackals will feed upon your corpses" and "your grandchildren will not know where you are buried".

lol.... very nice MightySausage

We're gonna set up them the bomb.

Since Al Qaeda means "base", couldn't someone theoretically say "All your Al Qaeda are belong to us"?

Screw planes. T-rex will hunt down osama

Big Red had it all right, here is my pitiful attempt to recreate The Rock's recording for the Taliban.

FINALLY, the Rock has come back to Afghanistan! You are condemned. Did you know that? The instant the terrorists you support took over the People's planes, you sentenced yourselves to death at the hands of the People's Champ. The Rock is here to seek justice for his millions AND MILLIONS of fans. The People's Elbow is coming to shut down once and for all Osama bin Laden's ring of terrorism, and the roodie poos that supports them and their actions.

The Rock is armed with the most hellacious moves ever. What are you using, obsolete and ineffective wcw moves? The Rock will rain fire down from the top turnbuckle upon your camps before you detect him. The elbow is so accurate The Rock can drop it right through your pitiful attempts to block it. The Rock is trained for any climate and terrain on earth, as proved by the filming of the Scorpion King. The Rock delivers the Rock Bottom with pin point precision and is armed with kick ass shirts and sunglasses.

"You have only one choice ... Surrender now and we will just give you some pie. We will let you live. If you surrender no harm will come to you. When you decide to surrender, approach The Rock with your eyebrow in the air. Sling your weapon across your back muzzle towards the ground. Turn it sideways and shove straight up your candy asses!!! Doing this is your only chance of survival. You might even garner the chance to catch's the People's elbow pad as you sit aside and watch The Rock demolish the Taliban. DO YOU SMEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK, is cookin!"

please, someone do a better one than that

Hopefully this worked...

You could sum all this up by saying "Taliban, your farked!!!"

Yall remember the quoat from Sadam, "Our forces have the unwavering ability to repell all invadors"..."The blood of Americans will run in the streets rivers...Hey what's that sound? Are we close to the airport..... Oh Shiat they're dropping bombs.........We surrender CNN News crew, See here we are in the surender line right behind the French who have surrendered to the starters pistol that started the 100 yard dash during the Goodwill Games."

Speaking of the Rock....
Osama doesn't like pie. He likes struedel!
And he is a big ugly hairy wart infested
skanky brutal bottom-feeding trashbag
hermaphrodite with a pickle park party hat!
Just call him Hermie.

No, no you see, you must put propaganda flyers into language the common people will understand... Here, let me try one:

Good citizens of Afghanistan: The streets of America's cities have flowed crimson with the blood of its martyrs. Allah has smiled upon them and taken them to paradise. The heavy scimitar of justice shall descend upon the heads of the infidel al-Queda dogs and strike them down! Make no mistake, Allah's Jewel of the West shall rain firey vengance upon the treachery of the pig Usama Bin Laden and his minions! They are traitors to Islam and their deeds shall not go unpunished. Noble people of Afghanistan, help the light of Allah shine brightly upon Afghanistan and help us abolish the filth brought by Usama Bin Laden and his Al-Qeda dogs! Destroy the evil that infects your wounds and let Allah smile on your faithful!


There... I think English has become too "functional"... It would help if poetic and "colorful" language were used more in everyday speech.

Whao, that's probably the funniest thing ever produced by the federal government. Working in PsyOps has to be one kickass job.