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(Washington Post)   "Most of the men are preoccupied with leading women back to their bedrooms," says friend to Ric Romero   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 99
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11266 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2011 at 10:04 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-02-13 12:16:27 PM
The art of communication is truly an art - learning to speak to people you do not know is and can be very difficult for most that is why most men on the internet are JPEG men.

Before you criticize the methodology ask yourself this simple question.

Could I walk up to a stranger and start a conversation and keep the conversation going?
 
2011-02-13 12:26:48 PM
Whats wrong with giving back rubs? My wife and I have such a good chemistry that anywhere I touch her feels good to me and great to her.
 
2011-02-13 12:27:00 PM

BlockBug:
Could I walk up to a stranger and start a conversation and keep the conversation going?


I think I can assume a role of "hostess" under some circumstances, but it's the very very briefest of small talk and problem solving, and then i'm off picking up abandoned drinks and clearing paper plates. I'm not good at small talk, and while there are topics I can speak about for more than one or two sentences, they don't come up often in social situations, and even when they do, I don't feel comfortable enough to speak up.

For me it means finding a bar or two to hang out and feel more comfortable, or finding other places where people actually chat that I can work at improving my comfort level. And participating in organizations that focus on my hobbies -- so I have the possibility of chatting with people about topics that aren't the weather (which, ironically, I am interested in, but people don't want to talk about most aspects other than 'cold enough for you?')
 
2011-02-13 12:36:40 PM

special20: chaddsfarkprefect: I think the words women use to describe me in the bedroom are "nimble" and "spry." Maybe, "precarious."

I dunno... the most common utterance I hear outside of the word "perfect", is "Oh, God!"

YMMV


Like Oh, God the windows are locked too?! or Oh, God please no no noooooooooo?

I get that a lot as well.
 
2011-02-13 12:43:51 PM
Gawd you kids today are stupid.

You need, at a minimum, 2 gold chains and lots of chest hair.

If you're buttoning north of your nipples you're doing it wrong.

At the bar, talk loudly. When talking to other guys, use words like "sport", "tiger", and "fella". It'll make you sound like the chick's dad. Chicks love their dads.

For the piece de resistance: aqua velva. Or, if you really want to park your cock in the cock garage: old spice.

Please, don't name your kids after me.
 
2011-02-13 12:47:19 PM

Scifientologist: UFIA4U: LittleBlondeJug: They will become, like Norton, masters in the art of picking up chicks.

Well, I am not well versed in his Jedi ways, but I would think that NOT calling us "chicks" might be a start in the right direction.

Dude, she just gave you an IOI disguised as a shiat test. Transition through A3 and into comfort.. with proper kino, you're good for an F close.

Was that English?


It's pickup artist jargon.. I thought maybe a few farkers would see what I did there :-/
 
2011-02-13 12:48:10 PM
FTA: ... he tells them that their journey will be a difficult one. There will be traps and....
 
2011-02-13 12:49:37 PM

UFIA4U:
It's pickup artist jargon.. I thought maybe a few farkers would see what I did there :-/


It's Sunday morning. Successful pickup artists are off having sex.
 
2011-02-13 12:57:23 PM
st.theresa: my point exactly - it is not about the setting or being around people you know, it is about being able to start and continue a conversation "regardless of the topic" with strangers.



BlockBug:
Could I walk up to a stranger and start a conversation and keep the conversation going?

I think I can assume a role of "hostess" under some circumstances, but it's the very very briefest of small talk and problem solving, and then i'm off picking up abandoned drinks and clearing paper plates. I'm not good at small talk, and while there are topics I can speak about for more than one or two sentences, they don't come up often in social situations, and even when they do, I don't feel comfortable enough to speak up.

For me it means finding a bar or two to hang out and feel more comfortable, or finding other places where people actually chat that I can work at improving my comfort level. And participating in organizations that focus on my hobbies -- so I have the possibility of chatting with people about topics that aren't the weather (which, ironically, I am interested in, but people don't want to talk about most aspects other than 'cold enough for you?')
 
2011-02-13 12:58:57 PM
If you have the $$$$$$$$$$$ and are willing to spend it, you get the women.

/lesson over
 
2011-02-13 01:05:47 PM

BlockBug: st.theresa: my point exactly - it is not about the setting or being around people you know, it is about being able to start and continue a conversation "regardless of the topic" with strangers.

BlockBug:
Could I walk up to a stranger and start a conversation and keep the conversation going?

I think I can assume a role of "hostess" under some circumstances, but it's the very very briefest of small talk and problem solving, and then i'm off picking up abandoned drinks and clearing paper plates. I'm not good at small talk, and while there are topics I can speak about for more than one or two sentences, they don't come up often in social situations, and even when they do, I don't feel comfortable enough to speak up.


Thankfully I don't have to go looking for someone to spend time with, but I totally understand. I am pretty introverted and shy, so I worked at learning to make small talk. It took about 10 years to get where I am now. I can entertain at lunch and in small groups easily. Just don't ask me to attend a party where I don't know anyone. I'm not THAT good!

The downside is that I can't shut up if there's a pause that might turn uncomfortable in conversation. That lesson is next up for me. :T
 
2011-02-13 01:10:25 PM

UFIA4U: Scifientologist: UFIA4U: LittleBlondeJug: They will become, like Norton, masters in the art of picking up chicks.

Well, I am not well versed in his Jedi ways, but I would think that NOT calling us "chicks" might be a start in the right direction.

Dude, she just gave you an IOI disguised as a shiat test. Transition through A3 and into comfort.. with proper kino, you're good for an F close.

Was that English?


It's pickup artist jargon.. I thought maybe a few farkers would see what I did there :-/


Oh, heh, well carry on then =)

It's lost on me, but then again so are most things.
 
2011-02-13 01:11:24 PM

UFIA4U: One of the best things in this article was this gem of a link to a feminist whargarbl site:

Link (new window)

"In my strong opinion, if you have an agreement with a woman to be sexually faithful to her and you cheat on her, YOU MUST TELL HER YOU CHEATED BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER again, otherwise she is NOT able to consent to the sex with you under the conditions of your having violated your agreement with her. If you DO have sex with her after cheating sexually and you do NOT tell her this, in my opinion, you have raped her."


Sex is just short for "rape" to some "feminists." Any sex act involving a male is rape.
/I wish we'd get over this whole "sex is bad and men are bad for being normal adult animals and wanting sex"
 
2011-02-13 01:15:32 PM

tonguedepressor: Whats wrong with giving back rubs? My wife and I have such a good chemistry that anywhere I touch her feels good to me and great to her.


Are you new here or something? ;)
 
2011-02-13 01:32:47 PM

Barakku: UFIA4U: One of the best things in this article was this gem of a link to a feminist whargarbl site:

Link (new window)

"In my strong opinion, if you have an agreement with a woman to be sexually faithful to her and you cheat on her, YOU MUST TELL HER YOU CHEATED BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER again, otherwise she is NOT able to consent to the sex with you under the conditions of your having violated your agreement with her. If you DO have sex with her after cheating sexually and you do NOT tell her this, in my opinion, you have raped her."

Sex is just short for "rape" to some "feminists." Any sex act involving a male is rape.
/I wish we'd get over this whole "sex is bad and men are bad for being normal adult animals and wanting sex"


You said Rape twice.....
 
2011-02-13 01:35:39 PM

RLupin: Ugh, how sad and pathetic. There's nothing wrong with sex, but these people talk about women as if they were machines, simply programs to be hacked.


They kind of are, actually. I think it's messed up, too, and I would love to find a rational woman, but when you base your decisions off of emotion (the only thing you need to appeal to for a woman), you leave yourself open to what basically amounts to mindhacking by anybody. It's the women who are kind of sad and pathetic by living like this, really.
 
2011-02-13 01:37:16 PM
I don't know I tend to go for guys who seem socially awkward and aren't well dressed. I know what league I'm in and I'm uncomfortable out of it. I like beta males. Hell I like farking beta males.
 
2011-02-13 01:41:29 PM

BlippityBleep: RLupin: Ugh, how sad and pathetic. There's nothing wrong with sex, but these people talk about women as if they were machines, simply programs to be hacked.

They kind of are, actually. I think it's messed up, too, and I would love to find a rational woman, but when you base your decisions off of emotion (the only thing you need to appeal to for a woman), you leave yourself open to what basically amounts to mindhacking by anybody. It's the women who are kind of sad and pathetic by living like this, really.


. . . Being on the other side (and having recently been accused again by one's mother that one lacks emotions like a 'normal person'), I can say that you are asking for some severe unintended consequences. Good luck to you.
 
2011-02-13 01:44:40 PM
BlippityBleep:
They kind of are, actually. I think it's messed up, too, and I would love to find a rational woman, but when you base your decisions off of emotion (the only thing you need to appeal to for a woman), you leave yourself open to what basically amounts to mindhacking by anybody. It's the women who are kind of sad and pathetic by living like this, really.

Do you even get any?
 
2011-02-13 01:48:34 PM
Women's magazines like Cosmopolitan are full of articles on how to manipulate a man. But the same women who read that stuff get all bent out of shape when a man tries to learn the equivalent information.

Nice double standard there.
 
2011-02-13 01:49:57 PM
Misandry trifecta in play?
 
2011-02-13 01:51:35 PM

special20: chaddsfarkprefect: I think the words women use to describe me in the bedroom are "nimble" and "spry." Maybe, "precarious."

I dunno... the most common utterance I hear outside of the word "perfect", is "Oh, God!"

YMMV


The most common utterance I hear is "fissilingual."
 
2011-02-13 01:52:37 PM

st.theresa: BlippityBleep:
They kind of are, actually. I think it's messed up, too, and I would love to find a rational woman, but when you base your decisions off of emotion (the only thing you need to appeal to for a woman), you leave yourself open to what basically amounts to mindhacking by anybody. It's the women who are kind of sad and pathetic by living like this, really.

Do you even get any?


Heh, I never did until I took this approach. Like I said, it's messed up, but it's also reality. If women wouldn't immediately drop genuine guys into the friend zone then guys wouldn't have to resort to this to get a date.
 
2011-02-13 01:56:51 PM

bingethinker: Women's magazines like Cosmopolitan are full of articles on how to manipulate a man. But the same women who read that stuff get all bent out of shape when a man tries to learn the equivalent information.

Nice double standard there.


Douchebags and dingbats of both genders are the ones reading Cosmo and "pick up chicks with mind tricks" books. Low on the content, high on the bullshiat, they make money off people's insecurities.
 
2011-02-13 01:57:13 PM

BlippityBleep: BlippityBleep:
Heh, I never did until I took this approach. Like I said, it's messed up, but it's also reality. If women wouldn't immediately drop genuine guys into the friend zone then guys wouldn't have to resort to this to get a date.


In the ideal world, gameplayers would only get gameplayers and "genuine" would only get "genuine." In the long run, I think it does, but the short term gets a bit weird.
 
2011-02-13 02:16:49 PM

st.theresa: BlippityBleep: BlippityBleep:
Heh, I never did until I took this approach. Like I said, it's messed up, but it's also reality. If women wouldn't immediately drop genuine guys into the friend zone then guys wouldn't have to resort to this to get a date.

In the ideal world, gameplayers would only get gameplayers and "genuine" would only get "genuine." In the long run, I think it does, but the short term gets a bit weird.


You're a bit more optimistic than I. :) I see a lot of people on here who got burned by the "players" of the opposite sex and are now pretty damn bitter. Makes me shake my head.
 
2011-02-13 02:17:56 PM

Fano: special20: chaddsfarkprefect: I think the words women use to describe me in the bedroom are "nimble" and "spry." Maybe, "precarious."

I dunno... the most common utterance I hear outside of the word "perfect", is "Oh, God!"

YMMV

The most common utterance I hear is "fissilingual."


Go on.... :P

/still mildly intrigued by "precarious". Persistent I could understand, but precarious? Hmm!
 
2011-02-13 02:20:00 PM

Aidan: st.theresa: BlippityBleep: BlippityBleep:
Heh, I never did until I took this approach. Like I said, it's messed up, but it's also reality. If women wouldn't immediately drop genuine guys into the friend zone then guys wouldn't have to resort to this to get a date.

In the ideal world, gameplayers would only get gameplayers and "genuine" would only get "genuine." In the long run, I think it does, but the short term gets a bit weird.

You're a bit more optimistic than I. :) I see a lot of people on here who got burned by the "players" of the opposite sex and are now pretty damn bitter. Makes me shake my head.


weird == bitter-instilling.
 
2011-02-13 02:30:29 PM

st.theresa: weird == bitter-instilling.


Yeah. I can certainly agree with that, then. Carry on. :)
 
2011-02-13 02:43:03 PM
I discovered a long time ago the secret to meeting women in bars: Say hi and from there don't give a shiat what happens. If she blows you off, fark her. She's either too stuck up , too paranoid, or too socially ignorant to be any fun to hang out with.

And listen in real closely here guys: That biatch that just blew you off? Yeah the cute brunette two bar stools over with the good bourbon in her glass saw it, also thinks she was a biatch, and loves the way you handled that. Step over and say hi.

/Many, many years behind the bar.
//Maybe I should start charging.
 
2011-02-13 02:43:12 PM

FunkOut: an urinal


Sounds wrong when you say it, but a urinal cake doesn't pass the 'an before word beginning with a vowel and a for words beginning with consonants', it just SOUNDS right.
 
2011-02-13 02:44:25 PM

bingethinker: Women's magazines like Cosmopolitan are full of articles on how to manipulate a man. But the same women who read that stuff get all bent out of shape when a man tries to learn the equivalent information.

Nice double standard there.


funny thing is, most of the biatching and whining here is coming from dudes who seem predisposed to biatch and whine. The chicks are just smirking...

Eh, it's Fark. Can I get a whisky thread? Because I need a new islay
 
2011-02-13 02:46:58 PM
"Say the words "pickup artist" and every face within earshot wrinkles in disgust"

See, I just laugh uncontrollably. "Loser" is a more appropriate term.
 
2011-02-13 02:54:56 PM
Take a lesson from evolutionary psychology: women want to mate as much as men. However, because of the imbalance in biological costs involved, women are less disposed toward casual sex and prefer longer-term relationships.

Unless they're losers when it comes to reproduction value.
 
2011-02-13 03:15:51 PM

ham006: FunkOut: an urinal

Sounds wrong when you say it, but a urinal cake doesn't pass the 'an before word beginning with a vowel and a for words beginning with consonants', it just SOUNDS right.


Yeah, I wasn't sure how to handle the urinal cake part.

Grammatically speaking, of course.
 
2011-02-13 03:16:25 PM

bingethinker: Cosmo


Really? Back when I was young enough to read Cosmo, it was all about how to please a man and what men really think (according to the boyfriends of Cosmo editors)). I suppose there is a new editorial policy now. Still, I think the main goal of Cosmo is to manipulate female readers into buying the magazine so they can try to feel hot and sexy like the model on the cover. YMMV.

To give Cosmo it's due, I remember reading an article with a bunch of other preadolescent girls that instructed us on how to give a BJ . There was a lot of shrieking "Gross!" and giggling, but years later I remembered the advice when the situation came up (so to speak). It wasn't bad advice either--not comprehensive, but not bad. Parents may not want teen girls to read this sort of advice, but I don't see why men would object.

/If you are going to argue that BJs are manipulative and therefore women should not employ such evil tactics, go ahead.
//If porn taught young men as much about various effective approaches to "the man in the boat" as Cosmo teaches young women about BJs and pleasing men in bed, then the world would be a happier place.
 
2011-02-13 03:21:34 PM

Aunt Crabby:
To give Cosmo it's due, I remember reading an article with a bunch of other preadolescent girls that instructed us on how to give a BJ .


The January, 1985 issue had a blurb about how Real Women should always have an exit strategy, so keep a 20 in your shoe. I took this to heart, and a week or two later when my date ordered lobster at "market rate" it came in handy.

//If porn taught young men as much about various effective approaches to "the man in the boat" as Cosmo teaches young women about BJs and pleasing men in bed, then the world would be a happier place.

QFT.
 
2011-02-13 03:27:46 PM
These "coaches" or whatever you want to call them do have a pretty solid approach on getting these shy dudes onto the right path. As lame as it sounds, the high-fives and whatnot are actually getting them exposed to attention. Even if it's awkward, it's something to build upon until they develop the skill and the confidence to use strategy. In the meantime, yeah, it's gonna look desperate because at this point it is.
 
2011-02-13 04:47:14 PM
FTA:
"Louts luxuriate in their lack of sophistication. Louts travel in packs or just hang out with one another. Louts dress in T-shirts and jeans and eschew fashion. Louts guzzle beer rather than sip wine, and they are most likely to be spotted in bars or lounging on living room couches watching football. Louts don't talk feelings; they talk sports and beer. Louts have few needs and no shackles. Above all, louts may ogle women and snicker about them, but women are pointedly never their top priority. At most, women are objects, just like in the old days. That's the revenge part. Louts don't have to make any concessions to women. Louts barely need women. Just give a lout a Bud and his buds and he's happy."

Sounds like advertisements are finally portraying the average man instead of some minority of men or abstractions.

Good job.

How many women live up to the expectations portrayed in media?

And how many make a good pathetically desperate attempt?
 
2011-02-13 05:03:19 PM
I love how this article is full of stereotypical gender-role bullshiat -- and judgments that try to shame men into acting in a certain way.
 
2011-02-13 05:18:19 PM

Senior_Blanco: I discovered a long time ago the secret to meeting women in bars: Say hi and from there don't give a shiat what happens. If she blows you off, fark her. She's either too stuck up , too paranoid, or too socially ignorant to be any fun to hang out with.

And listen in real closely here guys: That biatch that just blew you off? Yeah the cute brunette two bar stools over with the good bourbon in her glass saw it, also thinks she was a biatch, and loves the way you handled that. Step over and say hi.

/Many, many years behind the bar.
//Maybe I should start charging.


So what you're saying is that I am obligated to have a conversation with every old random mofo that says hi, or else be branded stuck up, paranoid or socially ignorant?
 
2011-02-13 07:14:06 PM

UFIA4U: Dude, she just gave you an IOI disguised as a shiat test. Transition through A3 and into comfort.. with proper kino, you're good for an F close.


spatula-city.org

English, motherfarker! Do you speak it?

/yes, I see what you did there.
 
2011-02-13 08:03:02 PM

Macular Degenerate: Keep yer pants on guys, pickup is a dead meme. The only one's keeping it alive are guys who are trying to hock guys schlocky tapes, books, and "consulting" services.



/he says as he simultaneously wistfully wishes for a girlfriend and eyes that bottle of black nail polish and stick of eyeliner...


Yeah, it may be "be natural" now, but give it 10 years, and Mystery (who will be as bald as Style) will be back to sell Survival and Replication.
 
2011-02-13 08:08:34 PM
And right now they've got a pick up seminar guy on the Simpsons. COINCIDENCE OR CONSPIRACY?
 
2011-02-14 05:10:50 AM
LittleBlondeJug (favorite: Awwww.) 2011-02-13 11:14:34 AM
They will become, like Norton, masters in the art of picking up chicks.

Well, I am not well versed in his Jedi ways, but I would think that NOT calling us "chicks" might be a start in the right direction.


Wait, so Broads don't like it when you call 'em chicks?!? When did that happen?

/Skirts. Just can't please 'em.
 
2011-02-14 05:56:23 AM
The difference between seduction and rape is salesmanship.

//Happy Valentine's day!
 
2011-02-14 06:03:18 AM

uglylaughingman: LittleBlondeJug (favorite: Awwww.) 2011-02-13 11:14:34 AM
They will become, like Norton, masters in the art of picking up chicks.

Well, I am not well versed in his Jedi ways, but I would think that NOT calling us "chicks" might be a start in the right direction.


Wait, so Broads don't like it when you call 'em chicks?!? When did that happen?

/Skirts. Just can't please 'em.


"Awwww"?

/oh well, at least I am favorited
 
2011-02-14 06:30:02 AM
LittleBlondeJug

I think it was the kitten analogy that generated an "Awwww". You know, like a kitten: irresistibly adorable but surprisingly evil and cunning.

(I usually erase the favorites bits- I have an odd sense of humor and I don't want to accidentally offend those I particularly enjoy. Of course if I didn't pick primarily based on snarkiness, I porbably wouldn't have this issue.)
 
2011-02-14 09:38:35 AM

uglylaughingman: LittleBlondeJug

I think it was the kitten analogy that generated an "Awwww". You know, like a kitten: irresistibly adorable but surprisingly evil and cunning.

(I usually erase the favorites bits- I have an odd sense of humor and I don't want to accidentally offend those I particularly enjoy. Of course if I didn't pick primarily based on snarkiness, I porbably wouldn't have this issue.)


Okie dokie.

: )
 
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