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(Salt Lake Tribune)   Sex and the single Mormon   (sltrib.com) divider line 178
    More: Amusing, Mormons, Guttmacher Institute, LDS Church, Salt Lake Tribune, outlet store, abstinent  
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24140 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2011 at 4:25 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-02-11 04:27:38 PM
NO!
 
2011-02-11 04:30:13 PM
sex before marriage doesn't bring happiness?

BS!
 
2011-02-11 04:30:32 PM
[hot mormon in shirt.jpg]
 
2011-02-11 04:30:52 PM
Crazy hot nubile blonde Mormon biatches
 
2011-02-11 04:31:38 PM
Is subby trying to add to the list of shortest books ever written?

I'll add one: What Jesus Had To Say About Being Gay
 
2011-02-11 04:31:59 PM
I remember the first time I had sex.
I was so afraid.
It was dark, and I was all alone ...
 
2011-02-11 04:33:40 PM
it isn't premarital sex if I don't plan on marrying her.
 
2011-02-11 04:33:41 PM
Didn't we discuss this silly woman and her unrealistic expectations already?
 
2011-02-11 04:33:49 PM
They can just masturbate to the Twilight books.
 
2011-02-11 04:34:42 PM

crazyeddie: [hot mormon in shirt.jpg]


[hot mormon calendar girls.jpg]
 
2011-02-11 04:34:51 PM
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
 
2011-02-11 04:34:54 PM
Spirit Hammer Quote 2011-02-11 04:31:59 PM
I remember the first time I had sex.
I was so afraid.
It was dark, and I was all alone ...

With my dog, Spirit.
 
2011-02-11 04:35:13 PM
LDS = Latent D!ck Suckers?
 
2011-02-11 04:35:28 PM
FTA: "But the vast majority of LDS kids who succumb to that illusion eventually discover that sex before marriage doesn't bring happiness and doesn't make them more fulfilled."

Know how I know you never tried it?
 
2011-02-11 04:35:36 PM
FTA: "There are millions ofunmarried(sic) Mormons; some say up to a third of the faith's adult U.S. members are without spouses."

I wonder why that might be...
 
2011-02-11 04:35:57 PM

numbone: Spirit Hammer Quote 2011-02-11 04:31:59 PM
I remember the first time I had sex.
I was so afraid.
It was dark, and I was all alone ...
With my dog, Spirit.


eww?
 
2011-02-11 04:38:16 PM
So that's what thoughtful journalism looks like. I thought it was dead--certainly didn't expect to find it there.
 
2011-02-11 04:39:22 PM
Surprise, surprise. A church that believes in a) women pumping out spawn by the dozen and b) giving 10% of their income to the church meets the modern world.

[hot_mormon_women_in_temple_underwear.jpg]
 
2011-02-11 04:40:25 PM
FTFA- "That is a "fallacy and discounts the value of all the other kinds of relationships in our lives - with family, friends, co-workers and romantic partners where sex is not involved."

And all that does is discount the value of relationships that include sex. Which is stupid.

Sex is obviously important to us as human beings, or we wouldn't spend so much time and effort discussing it. Even articles like this are energy devoted to sex. I think it's a real shame that the only conversations about sex, for amny people, are conversations about how bad certain kids of sex are for your mind or soul, or whatever.
 
2011-02-11 04:41:20 PM
The cut off the end of this quote.

"With sex off-limits, Mormon singles have time to focus on other important qualities in a sound relationship - how to be selfless, how to resolve conflicts, how to compromise, how to hump the couch."

Damn reporters.
 
2011-02-11 04:41:48 PM
http://www.mormonporn.com/ (new window)

/The landing page isn't bad, but go beyond that and it is very NSFW.
 
2011-02-11 04:42:08 PM

blorpen: FTA: "But the vast majority of LDS kids who succumb to that illusion eventually discover that sex before marriage doesn't bring happiness and doesn't make them more fulfilled."

Know how I know you never tried it?


this
 
2011-02-11 04:43:51 PM
images.fanpop.com

/hot like the blonde
 
2011-02-11 04:44:48 PM

blorpen: FTA: "But the vast majority of LDS kids who succumb to that illusion eventually discover that sex before marriage doesn't bring happiness and doesn't make them more fulfilled."

Know how I know you never tried it?


I'm pretty sure sex leaves at least one person filled.

Sometimes more.

NTTAWWT.
 
2011-02-11 04:45:31 PM
I call bullshiat.

Before I went out to grad school in Utah, I asked my undergraduate department chairman (who had just come back from a conference in Mormon-land) what to expect.

He thought about it for a few minutes and finally drawled "Well.. I had to go hide in the furnace room in order to smoke a cigarette. But they were screwing under every bush and tree in sight."
 
2011-02-11 04:45:58 PM
I can't speak from experience, but I would imagine sex with LDS would be trippy as shiat.
 
2011-02-11 04:46:51 PM
images.tribe.net
 
2011-02-11 04:48:33 PM

joegekko: Sex is obviously important...


Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement. - Charles Bukowski


/Chuck kinda had a point
//kinda
 
2011-02-11 04:49:24 PM
I think it's terribly sad.

I can't even remotely imagine what it has to be like to be Mormon.

I recovered from my parents' fundamentalist Christian religious beliefs in college and have never looked back.

I do believe in reincarnation--but I also believe in living every moment as if it were your last and as if life was a one-shot deal.

It's tragic for people to be so afraid of hell after death that they make a hell of their life.

It's not about orgasm per se, it's about getting completely, intimately skin to skin with another human being and doing the best you can to physically cherish each other (okay, then orgasm).

Sure, wild monkey sex while hanging by your toes from the ceiling fan is great....

But shutting yourself off from intimate human contact, your entire life, just because the available intimacy isn't permanent is farking tragic.
 
2011-02-11 04:50:06 PM
"Sex" + "single Mormon" = oxymormon.
 
2011-02-11 04:50:19 PM

tarheel07: I can't speak from experience, but I would imagine sex with LDS would be trippy as shiat.


Are you ready for that? Checking into a Vegas hotel under a phony name with intent to commit capital fraud and a LDS girl giving you head? I sure hope so.
 
2011-02-11 04:50:44 PM

Mr. Toadcheese: Surprise, surprise. A church that believes in a) women pumping out spawn by the dozen and b) giving 10% of their income to the church meets the modern world.

[hot_mormon_women_in_temple_underwear.jpg]


What church? Mormonism is as much of a pyramid scheme as scientology. And with just as crazy stories.
 
2011-02-11 04:50:47 PM
Really, I am so tired of retards.
You can't handle sex? Don't have it.

But don't put yourself up as any kind of role model.
Just be honest.
"I can't manage to be a mature responsible person. It's just too complicated for me, so I abstain."

The rest of us, who can enjoy sex, who can behave compassionately and fully enjoy all of the joys of life, will pity you.

But when you claim that your stunted, crippled psychology is superior, we see you're just a fool.
 
2011-02-11 04:51:03 PM

tarheel07: I can't speak from experience, but I would imagine sex with LDS would be trippy as shiat.


not so much...

at least the one I did wasn't
 
2011-02-11 04:51:59 PM

Julie Cochrane: Sure, wild monkey sex while hanging by your toes from the ceiling fan is great....


How you doin'?
 
2011-02-11 04:54:03 PM
I live in a state full of morons.
 
2011-02-11 04:55:02 PM

SpookyEyes: I live in a state full of morons.


D.C. is a district, not a state, no matter how much they want to be one.
 
2011-02-11 04:55:39 PM
Cool Story Bro:

Back in 2005, I dated an ex-Mormon. IIRC, she had been divorced for about two years, and was trying to be as sinful as she could...sex outside of marriage, tobacco, alcohol, etc.

IIRC, she got married as a 19 year old virgin.

/BTW, she also mentioned that the worst lay she ever had was her ex-husband.
//Ouch!
 
2011-02-11 04:58:19 PM
That article struck an LSD nerve.

Jesus Christ, the walls are melting!!
 
2011-02-11 05:00:20 PM
I now want to have sex on lsd. Thanks Mormons!
 
2011-02-11 05:00:37 PM
My mother is a divorced single Mormon old maid who will probably be waiting until she gets to heaven where she will be able to get married again.
/SHE ACTULLY BELIVES THIS
 
2011-02-11 05:02:59 PM

The_Sponge:

/BTW, she also mentioned that the worst lay she ever had was her ex-husband.
//Ouch!


Based on comments from the divorced women I have dated, I think that is common in most marriages where the both of the partners were virgins... lack of experience on the part of both parities can make things awkward. I think this especially when you throw in a bunch of religious guilt on top of it all.
 
2011-02-11 05:04:27 PM
Mormons are so Mormon.
 
2011-02-11 05:04:33 PM

purple kool-aid and a jigger of formaldehyde: My mother is a divorced single Mormon old maid who will probably be waiting until she gets to heaven where she will be able to get married again.
/SHE ACTULLY BELIVES THIS



Your mother needs to look up the term "old maid".
 
2011-02-11 05:04:48 PM

yesanded: Mr. Toadcheese: Surprise, surprise. A church that believes in a) women pumping out spawn by the dozen and b) giving 10% of their income to the church meets the modern world.

[hot_mormon_women_in_temple_underwear.jpg]

What church? Mormonism is as much of a pyramid scheme as scientology. And with just as crazy stories.


Except that nobody in the Mormon church is getting paid. There are paid people in office jobs in churgh office building, but the "clergy" do not get a paycheck. Even their top guy.
/not defending Mormons but truth is truth
//the crazy part I do argee with though
 
2011-02-11 05:05:40 PM

LaraAmber: purple kool-aid and a jigger of formaldehyde: My mother is a divorced single Mormon old maid who will probably be waiting until she gets to heaven where she will be able to get married again.
/SHE ACTULLY BELIVES THIS


Your mother needs to look up the term "old maid".


Or I do, She's never called herself that.
 
2011-02-11 05:07:02 PM

tinyarena: Really, I am so tired of retards.
You can't handle sex? Don't have it.

But don't put yourself up as any kind of role model.
Just be honest.
"I can't manage to be a mature responsible person. It's just too complicated for me, so I abstain."


More like "I can't function as a complex animal. I would probably die in my own feces of starvation if it weren't socially unacceptable to do so"
 
2011-02-11 05:10:02 PM
Sex and the single Mormon

BY PEGGY FLETCHER STACK
The Salt Lake Tribune

DON'T DO IT!

Copyright 2011 The Salt Lake Tribune. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
 
2011-02-11 05:13:04 PM
Step 1. Get her to drink.
Step 2. Get her to do the nasty.
Step 3. Show her there's no god.
 
2011-02-11 05:15:02 PM

boyvoyeur: Sex and the single Mormon

BY PEGGY FLETCHER STACK
The Salt Lake Tribune

DON'T DO IT!

Copyright 2011 The Salt Lake Tribune. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.


What in sam hell kind of name is "Peggy Fletcher Stack?" For that matter, why am I reading about sex from a woman named Peggy?
 
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