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(Beatcalls)   After breaking into an office, nothing takes the edge off better than sitting down at a desk and watching a little porn   (beatcalls.com) divider line 33
    More: Florida, Internet pornography, burglary  
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4661 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2011 at 7:49 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-02-09 07:40:11 AM
Investigators say that upon questioning, White told them he was in the closed and locked business, "looking for a job".



And he was just leaving his resume on the desk.
 
2011-02-09 07:52:37 AM
White told them he was in the closed and locked business, "looking for a job".

And I bet the video he was watching contained someone giving a job.
 
2011-02-09 07:54:32 AM
Pending charges are breaking and entering, fapping...
 
2011-02-09 07:56:08 AM
Nothing beats a good B & E

Breaking in and ejaculating.
 
2011-02-09 07:57:55 AM
Get this out of the way:

www.iconsoffright.com
 
2011-02-09 07:58:36 AM
FTA: His shoes were found on the ground just outside the window.

So wait, he went through the trouble of taking off his shoes (I assume to avoid leaving footprints) but then went out of his way to ensure he left some of his identifying soldiers of fertility behind?

I can't decide if that's crazy or stupid.

/likely both
 
2011-02-09 08:00:57 AM
What did you expect from someone who's middle name is Lucious? Also imagine if he got away without getting caught and that was your work computer. You'd have some 'splainin' to do the next day.
 
2011-02-09 08:02:16 AM
I was just fapping in my office, so I'm getting a kick...

\I hope the officers made him wash his hands.
 
2011-02-09 08:03:28 AM
I'd hate to be the guy who came in the next morning and found out I worked at the "wank desk."
 
2011-02-09 08:08:29 AM

overlord: I'd hate to be the guy who came in the next morning and found out I worked at the "wank desk."


Wank desk? Possible NSFW video pops like a tent.
 
2011-02-09 08:13:07 AM

overlord: I'd hate to be the guy who came in the next morning and found out I worked at the "wank desk."


That's where they put the new guy.
 
2011-02-09 08:16:32 AM
Was it "Bubble Butt Bonanza No. 17."?

(not obscure)
 
2011-02-09 08:17:09 AM
1 girls 1 cuffs?
 
2011-02-09 08:18:24 AM

miss diminutive: FTA: His shoes were found on the ground just outside the window.

So wait, he went through the trouble of taking off his shoes (I assume to avoid leaving footprints) but then went out of his way to ensure he left some of his identifying soldiers of fertility behind?

I can't decide if that's crazy or stupid.

/likely both


I reckon he took his shoes off because it is easier to climb in bare feet.
 
2011-02-09 08:25:43 AM
i'm looking for a job....a blowjob! hey when is steak and b-j day?
 
2011-02-09 08:25:57 AM

BurnShrike: Nothing beats a good B & E

Breaking in and ejaculating.


most states they call that rape. oh, not that kind of "breaking in".
 
2011-02-09 08:30:05 AM

cats4rent: i'm looking for a job....a blowjob! hey when is steak and b-j day?


it SHOULD be celebrated Jan 1 until Dec 31.
/can I get an aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay-ohhhhhhhhhhhh
//3.14.2011
///stand by my original comment
 
2011-02-09 08:50:33 AM
He also told officers that he was inside the business because he saw a light on and was "investigating".

Investigating his boner.
 
2011-02-09 08:59:44 AM
there is no way im clicking a link with a beatcalls tag about someone watching porn at a desk. Was the phone ringing?
 
2011-02-09 09:05:06 AM
He should have said he was there to fix the cable.
 
2011-02-09 09:12:19 AM
That's why I like working nights. Nobody ever logs off their pc's. I can look at all the stuff I want.
 
2011-02-09 09:31:46 AM

Smiths: Get this out of the way:


I've seen this used a ton of times but don't know the meme. I know it's from Mallrats but have never seen the movie to know what he's saying there. What does it mean?
 
2011-02-09 09:34:53 AM
If he was an IT guy, I might see this as a bold and reasonable attempt for a job. HR people need lots of visual aids and other devices to get the point across. They clearly have no fire wall for naughty sites.
 
2011-02-09 09:45:17 AM

LeroyBourne: If he was an IT guy, I might see this as a bold and reasonable attempt for a job. HR people need lots of visual aids and other devices to get the point across. They clearly have no fire wall for naughty sites.


Erica: I'm a cyber nanny.
Matt: What--what's that?
Erica: I spend all day looking for pornography on the web.
All right, say you have a ten-year-old kid. with an iMac and a browser, and she searches "Girlfriends". and then gets lesbian mud wrestling. Probably not the best thing, But you can't avoid it.
Erica: Like today, I ran a search for "sandbox", and got "eat my box", "Sandy's hot box", and my favorite, "vagina beach."
Erica: My job is to find the site and block it out.
Matt: So, you have to look at these sex sites all day long?
Erica: Yeah. All day.
Matt: Drive you crazy after a while?
Erica: Yeah. Some days I think...that if I have to look at another blowjob I'll scream.
/name that movie
 
2011-02-09 09:48:27 AM
40 Days And 40 Nights

Do I get a cookie??

(Don't offer me a biscuit...!!)
 
2011-02-09 10:05:27 AM
I've heard so many stories of criminals breaking and entering and then masturbating or falling asleep that I'm starting to think that criminals generally have mental problems.

/probably incurable stupidity
 
2011-02-09 10:08:51 AM

drworm: there is no way im clicking a link with a beatcalls tag about someone watching porn at a desk. Was the phone ringing?


No it is just a Brit spoof.
 
2011-02-09 10:16:58 AM

ChipNASA: 40 Days And 40 Nights

Do I get a cookie??

(Don't offer me a biscuit...!!)


sorry, all I've got is this soggie biscuit...
 
2011-02-09 10:17:38 AM

SideOfBacon: ChipNASA: 40 Days And 40 Nights

Do I get a cookie??

(Don't offer me a biscuit...!!)

sorry, all I've got is this soggy biscuit...


FTFM before the spelling nazis force me to take a shower
 
2011-02-09 10:19:23 AM
quick and messy

img163.imageshack.us
 
2011-02-09 10:25:14 AM
reddot: quick and messy

stutteringmessiah.files.wordpress.com

/the sound of one hand clapping....fapping?
 
2011-02-09 11:24:32 AM

miss diminutive: FTA: His shoes were found on the ground just outside the window.

So wait, he went through the trouble of taking off his shoes (I assume to avoid leaving footprints) but then went out of his way to ensure he left some of his identifying soldiers of fertility behind?

I can't decide if that's crazy or stupid.

/likely both


Or brilliant!

/This plan is just so crazy.. it could work!
 
2011-02-09 08:41:58 PM
Good thing he was able to pull his pants back up otherwise it might have been embarrassing.
 
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