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(Some Guy)   Ten worst comedians ever   (dumbassandthefag.com) divider line 285
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31693 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 7:42 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-07-19 10:27:47 PM
Can't forget Adam Sandler. Unless you're under 21.
 
2003-07-19 10:28:46 PM
My list of "worst comics ever":


 
2003-07-19 10:30:10 PM
All hail the late, the great Bill Hicks.

I was trying to remember who was ripping off ol' Bill, rat-bastard Dennis Leary.

And Carrot Top (who's what, pushing 50?) is the worst comedian ever. I actually liked his act...15 years ago! Somebody, put that POS out of our misery.

And Lewis Black rules!
 
2003-07-19 10:30:43 PM
Ever heard this new guy, Mitch Hedberg??

"A man came up to me and asked if I'd like a frozen banana...I said no. But then I thought I might like a regular banana later, so yes."

Farking genious!
 
2003-07-19 10:31:19 PM
Jellyfish, check out State Prison Farms. You could probably find it on Kazaa no problem. Just punch in his name and downlaod a bunch. I'm pretty sure you'd be safe as he isn't a musician. He is defiantely the the best out there. You probably jsut got unlucky. Most of his material is hysterical, even years later.
 
2003-07-19 10:31:27 PM
If you would try and look past the screaming and LISTEN to what Kinison had to say, you'll see he was damm funny!
 
2003-07-19 10:32:38 PM
"If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
 
2003-07-19 10:32:44 PM
Before you criticize/praise Jay Leno, David Letterman, or Conan O'Brien, realize that you are really commenting on the writers that work for that show. They don't write the material they do anymore, no one could do that by themselves for a five day a week show. That Letterman's show isn't that funny anymore is more due to the fact that CBS won't spend the money to get good writers. Remember that CBS is the network that gives us 'Touched By An Angel', they are not likely to push the envelope when it comes to comedy.
 
2003-07-19 10:36:29 PM
Ah I forgot about Bobcat Goldthwait. OMG. How the hell did this guy stretch his Police Academy fame to 15 years of utter annoyance?

Oh and Mitch Hedberg isn't exactly new. He's been around for a while, but he's farking hilarious.
 
2003-07-19 10:40:31 PM
You all are idiots.

erhm, those who think Jay Leno is not funny, Martin Lawrence is stupid, Robin Williams gay and yes Letterman is a hack. A serious Hack. Drew Carey is farking awesome and Carrot top shouldnt even be allowed to breathe this good air we do, for the simple reason he couldnt make a baby laugh.

/throws some oil/gasoline mix into the fire.
 
2003-07-19 10:41:58 PM
I'm a struggling stand up comic, so I know how hard this job is... however, there are some people who are truly comedy Gods among men.

1. Bill Hicks - gone before his time and still funny as hell to this day. If you have never heard of Bill Hicks I suggest you check out his website billhicks.com.

2. George Carlin - Still a genious after all these years. Jellyfish - check out his Football vs. Baseball routine

3. Billy Connolly - The funniest Scotsman you will ever see... the whole Robin Williams Golf schtik came from Connolly. He's brilliant.

4. Richard Pryor - anyone who can make a character out of a heart attack is brilliant.

5. Lenny Bruce - he pushed the boundries and made comedy a hell of a lot smarter.

6. Bill Cosby - a master story teller in his own right.

7. Phylis Diller - she broke a lot of ground for female comedians.

8. Jonathan Winters - brings a lot of characters to life on the stage.

9. Brian Regan - great clean comedian.

10. Lewis Black - one of the funniest comedians out there today... and a heck of a nice guy too.

If you really want to see some bad comedy go to an open mic night or two. I go to them all the time and there are some REALLY BAD comedians out there.
 
2003-07-19 10:44:34 PM
Dave Attell's stand-up from the beginning of Insomniac is usually pretty lame, but the rest of the show rules.

As for Robin Williams, I've heard that his stand-up is actually funny instead of his one-note, cookie-cutter, outsider against the evil establishment movies. Yes? No?
 
2003-07-19 10:45:04 PM
In Soviet Comedy, Carrottop SUCKS YOU!
 
2003-07-19 10:50:36 PM
ChewBubba73

Your an idiot.

All except for cosby your so wrong it isnt even funny. Perhaps that is why you are struggling.

The Kings of Comedy are

1: Leno
2: David Attel (of Insomniac fame)
3: Drew Carey
4: Martin Lawrence
5: Robin Williams
6: Connan O'Brien
7: Rodney Dangerfield
8: Chevy Chase
9: Adam Sandler
10: Colin Quinn. (Weekend update was BRILLIANT)
 
2003-07-19 10:52:02 PM
i didn't see the list, but if it didn't include dennis "i'm a coont" miller, it was bogus.

Amen! Dennis Miller was never funny. He's got to be one of the dullest comedians out there. Now that he's become the right wing's lap dog, he's annoying and unfunny.
 
2003-07-19 10:54:53 PM
No Neil Hamburger?
 
2003-07-19 10:55:29 PM
No Mitch Hedberg is not new....or even close to funny
 
2003-07-19 11:00:35 PM
My response to the list:

10 Ernest P worell

No, no, no. I like him.. Especially when he did the Trauth Dairy commercials with "Ya know whut I mean Vern?" I still use that quote to this day. I do have to give him props for the "last congical visit" scene in "Ernest goes to jail" that woman was just ewww.

9. Martin Lawrence

Martin is an idiot. he seems like a talentless fake. I agree with the placement on this list.

8. The Jerky Boys

They kept me laughing while at work, they have a small amount of talent. But I do agree on their placement on the list. I wouldnt pay for their CD's. I love burners. :)

7. Tim Allen

My wife refers to me by this name frequently due to my inability to build anything that can stand the test of 5 pounds.


6. Andrew Dice Clay

no opinion

5. Carrot Top

I WISH HE WOULD F**KING DIE!

4. Bob Saget

urgh. DIE!

3. Gallagher

hey now, the sledge-o-matic was semi funny. Then again I thought breaking glass was hysterical when I was younger. I want to know where he got that gigantic inflatable ball thing for his one show, I want one... The kid climbed into it, and tried to do a complete turn in it and failed.

2. Joan Rivers

LETS NOT TALK! I hope you get mouth cancer and it falls off!

1. Jay Leno

talentless lackey.
 
2003-07-19 11:04:06 PM
I've never once laughed at anything Colin Quinn has said, done, or had said to him. I watched his After-The-Daily-Show crapfest one time. And between jokes about hasbeens from the the 90s, when people liked him, and his inability to talk for three sentances without tripping over his lines, he succeeds in giving me hope that, no matter how unfunny i am, i can still make it in the world of comedy.
 
2003-07-19 11:06:26 PM
MrNeutron: Not all of them suck. Sarah Silverman (Jimmy Kimmel's girlfriend) is actually pretty funny.

Also, Letterman is the funniest host on late night. Next up is Conan, then Leno, Tom Green, Jimmy Kimmel, and Craig Kilborn in that order.

Anyone who thinks that Leno is funnier than Letterman is obviously a dumbass.

And Janeane Garafalo (sp?) is not funny. She used to be amusing, but she went into politics. Comedians lose their funny when they go into politics. A good comedian will make fun of everyone. Garafalo gets angry and attacks the right, which you may or may not agree with, but its not funny when she does, and it makes it near impossible for her to believably poke fun at the left.

Al Franken also lost his funny doing this, and Chris Rock almost crosses that line, but somehow he manages to "get political" without becoming a politician.
 
2003-07-19 11:11:40 PM
DaRblGen you are the idiot. You must learn the difference between a TV star and being a 'Comic'. Leno? His comedy routine's weren't much, and I bet you haven't even seen them anyways.
 
2003-07-19 11:16:49 PM
Befuddled: CBS Doesn't hire/Pay for letterman's writers, they just air the show. Letterman's Worldwide Pants, Inc. owns and produces the Late Show. He hires his own writers.

Conversely, NBC owns the Tonight Show and Late Night.

DaRblGen: Kings of Comedy??? Let me loan you 10 bucks for a sense of humor.

FRKBOY: Some of the guest comedians on that show are funny. Norton is hilarious - see him live and try not to laugh.
 
2003-07-19 11:21:43 PM
Fark killed this site like an articulated banana bus running over baby ducks.
 
2003-07-19 11:27:47 PM
The Original Kings of Comedy was the most disappointing movie I ever seen. Usually I can understand what Bernic Mac is saying but in that movie he's like, "nnkflankfl nkfnkalfn lan motherfarker! fark nfkafnk fark motherfarker! wytwtyw mmfdafark"

I also found Bill Maher funnier when he wasn't *just* politics.

Colin Quinn has good jokes but delivers them like a crackhead doctor.

I worship Dave Chappelle.
 
2003-07-19 11:28:32 PM
darb...

you listed Leno as the king of comedy, and misspelled conan o'brien

thats grounds for execution
 
2003-07-19 11:30:20 PM
DaRblGen, your list has funy people, except for Leno. Ugh. This guy is boring beyond belief.

IN the land of lists, here is mine, in no particular order.

Dane Cook,
Lewis Black,
George Carlin,
Denis Leary,
Eddie Murphy (before his family movie stage. God, who knew having kids could make some one become so unfunny)
Robin Williams,
Jamie Foxx,
Chris Rock,
Richard Pryor,
Redd Foxx,
Sarah Silverman.

/too drunk to keep thinking and I have ribs to eat. Yum.
 
2003-07-19 11:36:31 PM
add Craig Kilborn to the worst list. I haven't laughed at him since I stopped smoking pot. Back when he was on the Daily show, but I think I was laughing at the guests anyway.
 
2003-07-19 11:38:53 PM
Lupa, your assessment of Letterman is dead on. Letterman on the old NBC show set the standard by which all talk/comedy shows are now judged. His CBS show is boring, predictable and uninspired. Which is why Letterman pulled the plug when some cable network began airing his old shows a few years back, it just demonstrated how far he had slipped.
Now, add Ellen DeGeneres, Bob Goldthwait & Jeff Foxworthy to the list and it would be more complete. As bad as Carrot Top is, he's funnier than the three mentioned above.
 
2003-07-19 11:39:09 PM
My faves

1-David Cross
2-Eddie Izzard
3-Bill Hicks (R.I.P)
4-Lewis Black
5-Dave Chappelle
6-Robert Schimmel
7-Bill Edwards


The ultimate worsts

1-Judy Tenuta
2-Sandra Bernhardt
3-Jay Leno
4-Carrot Top
5-Dennis Leary (Ripping off Bill Hicks as his body was still warm... shame on you Leary... And to think I once bought you a goddam beer !!! )
 
2003-07-19 11:40:28 PM
Robin Williams is an awesome stand-up comedian, but a lousy comedic actor. He does much better with the dramatic roles. "One Hour Photo" is FREAKY.

But stand-up? No one can touch him when he's on. I spent an ungodly amount of money on tickets when he played DC, and it was worth every penny. My abs hurt for three days, I laughed so hard.

One glaring omission to the Crap List? Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah, "Seinfeld" had its funny moments, but they never came from him. His entire stand-up act was making mundane observations and saying "What's up with that?" afterwards. Hopefully there is a special place in hell reserved for him and his doppelganger Ray Romano.
 
2003-07-19 11:41:19 PM
CaptainGood,

Yeah, that asian guy isn't funny at all (Last Comic Standing). Neither is that huge fat guy and I can't believe he has a hot girlfriend. Completely lost my faith in women in that one episode.
 
2003-07-19 11:41:45 PM
Farked.
 
2003-07-19 11:53:30 PM
We mustn't forget Steve Martin, who, in the day, was the funniest. Most of you young guys probably think he's just a movie actor.
 
2003-07-19 11:55:39 PM
The site is seriously farked.

Seriously.
 
2003-07-19 11:55:52 PM
What about Richard "Mullet" Lewis. Boku' boy. Worse than Dennis Miller
 
2003-07-20 12:01:39 AM
Can't comment on Carrottop since i've never seen his shtick, but based on these comments he's Fark's consensus least funny comedian. I have to admit, just looking at picture of him irritates me.

Emo Phillips however is the most unfunny comedian I've ever seen. He talks in a weird voice, that's it.
 
2003-07-20 12:04:33 AM
DaRblGen, you are the real king of comedy as your list is just a big farking joke.

How could you put in Leno, Carey, and O'Brien, but leave out George Carlin, Eddie Murphy and even Chris Rock?

Wait I know!
Your a farking moron who only watches overhyped, overproduced, soft, mainstream actors who like sell themselves as real comedians.

The only two decent ones on your list were Chase and Dangerfield. At least they used to be good as opposed to your other picks who were never funny; aren't funny now; and ,unless hit by a bus while someone is videotaping, will never be funny. Case closed. Fark you. Go watch Leno ya dumbfark.
 
2003-07-20 12:04:36 AM
mrdark

"Don't forget Leno's penchant for calling his own audience "stupid buncha morons" when they don't laugh at his jokes."

Mike Bullard is about 10 times worse than Leno at that. He blames the audience about 5 times per show.
 
2003-07-20 12:06:07 AM
Letterman is an improvisational genious. Yeah, his routine is a little stale after all these years, but he can still come up with a comment in one second that would take a year for Leno to think up.
 
2003-07-20 12:07:26 AM
lardog: Steve Martin was also quite good. Very quick thinker and excellent delivery.
 
2003-07-20 12:10:49 AM
It took 'til bashturn for someone to list David Cross as a favorite? Shame on y'all!
 
2003-07-20 12:12:55 AM
Mike Bullard seriously sucks the sweat of a beaver's nutsack....

We get it Mike, you are Canadian... yes we know... you live in Canada... ok, you like the Maple Leafs... Yes it is cold outside... we get it ... WE GET IT !!!
 
2003-07-20 12:15:39 AM
Why do people think Lewis Black is funny? I saw his routine last year, and all he did was look arrogant and swear a lot. "If I had a million dollars I'd hire a guy to follow me around all day and lick my balls!" HAHAHAhahawait, no, it's actually stupid.
And yeah, lots of people are confusing 'comedian' with 'tv star.' So even though an empty box of Corn Flakes is funnier than Jay Leno, he (Leno) shouldn't be on the list.

And, since I'm sure you all were waiting for my valuable input, here's my list of worst comedians:
10. Lewis Black
9. Carrottop
8. Sam Kinnison
7. Andrew Dice Clay
6. Martin Lawrence
5. Dennis Miller
4. Carrottop
3. Adam Sandler
2. Jeff Foxworthy
1. Carrottop
 
2003-07-20 12:16:10 AM
Everyone's a comedian compared to Mike Bullard. I'd rather paint my walls then watch that.
 
2003-07-20 12:16:53 AM
One of the things I'm really loving about fark is that there are a LOT of people here who have listened to and appreciate Bill Hicks. The man is probably the greatest comedian ever, in my humble opinion, and probably one of the greatest social commentators ever. Some comedians make you laugh, some make you think, but he made you question everything you believed and laugh your ass off in the process. I wish I'd come across his brilliance earlier in my life, as I've only really listened to him over the past few years. I lost all respect for that piece of shiat Dennis Leary after seeing how much he's "lifted" from the great one.

~D
 
2003-07-20 12:18:41 AM
Dennis Leary, Colin Quinn, Craig Kilborn and Jay Leno are all equally worthless. That said, Dave Chappelle's Blackzilla tour was hilarious, and if his show comes out on DVD, I'm all over it.
 
2003-07-20 12:19:05 AM
And for all you Leno bashers, try to get a hold of some of his stuff from the 80's, before he was on TV. He used to be damn funny and was very respected amongst comedians.

~D
 
2003-07-20 12:19:28 AM
Alright...Carrottop sucks, but granted...has anyone seen 'Chairman of the Board'? It's so bad, it's the funniest damn thing ever. I cried from laughing so hard AT it.
 
2003-07-20 12:19:40 AM
Conan O'Brien, Craig Kilborn, Jay Leno, David Letterman, All of the "Original Kings of Comedy", all horrid.

Some of the good:
1. Andy Kaufman
2. Bill Hicks
3. Dane Cook
4. Robin Williams (stand-up only)
5. Nick Swardson
6. George Carlin
7. Dave Chapelle
 
2003-07-20 12:20:27 AM
How could that list not include Sheky Green? SHEKY GREEN!
 
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