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(Some Guy)   Ten worst comedians ever   (dumbassandthefag.com ) divider line
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31706 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 7:42 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



285 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2003-07-19 07:04:11 PM  
Oh...well that's just great!
 
2003-07-19 07:08:59 PM  
I agree with most of this list, but I do think that Tim Allen and Gallagher are funny. Gallagher is a bit of a hippy though.

He shouldn't have put Bob Saget on the list if he has never seen his stand-up act. Full House had crappy sitcom writers who couldn't write a funny joke that took more than 4th grade intelligence to understand.

I'm surprised that Jeff Foxworthy didn't make the list though, considering everyone else on there. And Leno is definitely the un-funniest man in the history of TV.
 
2003-07-19 07:10:08 PM  
Actually yeah, the Bob Saget we saw on TV isn't the real Bob Saget... "Joke topics included coonts and heroin...."
 
2003-07-19 07:13:55 PM  
Comeon.... Martin? Hes not the best, but definately not bad.
Tim Allen is streaching it... but the other I agree with
 
2003-07-19 07:23:02 PM  
Jay's guests tonight, Joey Lawrence and Patrick Duffy!
 
2003-07-19 07:26:11 PM  
Why isn't Roseanne on that list?
 
2003-07-19 07:26:42 PM  
Eh...The Jerky Boys aren't comedians, and their first few CDs were pretty funny. The movie, however, was godawful.
 
2003-07-19 07:29:25 PM  
2003-07-19 07:13:55 PM qburt
Comeon.... Martin? Hes not the best, but definately not bad.


I think they sum it up pretty well. Almost all his jokes are blatant stereotypes, whether intentional or not (see Big Momma's House or Black Knight. Actually, don't.) As opposed to being 'about' stereotypes like much of Chris Rock's (or Jeff Foxworthy's) jokes.

That and he's a raving lunatic who waved a gun around in L.A. traffic while not wearing pants.
 
2003-07-19 07:30:51 PM  
I cannot accept any list of the 10 worst comedians that doesn't have Colin Quinn on it.
 
2003-07-19 07:46:17 PM  
Louie Anderson must have written that list. How else could he have avoided it??
 
2003-07-19 07:47:09 PM  
the idiot who wrote that page wasn't even funny.

martin, leno and allen are hillarious!
 
2003-07-19 07:47:59 PM  
Where's Jerry Seinfeld and Drew Carey?

Bad comedians, good shows.
 
2003-07-19 07:48:48 PM  
Martin Lawrence sure has taken some hits here at Fark last couple of days.
 
2003-07-19 07:49:16 PM  
I call foul: Why the fark is Carrot Top only #6? Was this list written in Florida? I demand a recount.
 
2003-07-19 07:49:35 PM  
jeff foxworthy not on the list? bah. his only skill of "you might be a redneck if..." got old real fast.
 
2003-07-19 07:49:44 PM  
What kind of retard leaves Rita Rudner off a "worst comedians" list?

Dice rules!
 
2003-07-19 07:51:38 PM  
HE DID NOT JUST COME DOWN ON THE DICE MAN! OH! And gallahger is also funny, I dont why hes on that list.
 
2003-07-19 07:51:39 PM  
How about Denis Leary? Not so much for the actual quality, but because it'd take a monumental hack to rip off Bill Hicks's act (down to the exact words in plenty of cases) and somehow make it not funny.

Props for including Dice and Carrot Top.
 
2003-07-19 07:51:50 PM  
Oops, Carrot Top is #5. I guess my demands are being met!!!

Meh.
 
2003-07-19 07:52:06 PM  
That list was too accurate, until number 1. I'm sorry, but David Letterman is SO much more unfunny than Jay Leno. I mean, he makes TERRIBLE jokes, and nobody laughs, and then he always does something "silly" or "mind-numbingly stupid" like straighten his jacket, laugh obnoxiously, shift his eyebrows, or some other "kooky facial antic", and the morons laugh, every damn time the morons laugh. Someone needs to widen the gap in his teeth.
 
2003-07-19 07:53:10 PM  
i agree, jeff foxworthy in absentia is a bit odd.

a couple of comedians that should probably make the list, even though i thought they were kinda funny:

emo phillips
andy kaufmann

more of a retard spectacle than anything else. but that can be funny!
 
2003-07-19 07:53:27 PM  
And stymie gets it... word.
I've actually seen a guy even worse, but nobody knows who he is 'cause he's so awful.

His gimmick was that he's the "comic from the future" and all his jokes are with punchlines you won't even get. HA! IT'S FUNNY THAT I DON'T GET IT! ... because he's from the FUTURE! AHAHAHA!
 
2003-07-19 07:54:12 PM  
This list sucks, the Brothers Crap (I mean Chap) of Strongbad "fame" should be on there.

/flamebait
 
2003-07-19 07:54:17 PM  
Didn't they forget Sinbad?
 
2003-07-19 07:54:23 PM  
"That and he's a raving lunatic who waved a gun around in L.A. traffic while not wearing pants."

yah but if you had looked into that he was drugged out of his mind, He talked about it in one of his shows he took a hit of some guys joint and the next thing he knew he was going crazy. And he didn't wave a gun around he had one on him though.

/I like some of his movies so I thought I should write some thing good about him.
 
2003-07-19 07:55:16 PM  
Any 'worst' list where Carrot Top isn't #1 is wrong.

Worst TV Show? Carrot Top.

Worst Wrestler? Carrot Top.

Worst Phyllis Diller Impersonation? Carrot Top.

Worst Comedienne? Carrot Top.
 
2003-07-19 07:55:46 PM  
what about Wildman Steve?

too obscure?
 
2003-07-19 07:56:43 PM  
How could you leave off Whoopi Goldberg, Jamie Foxx, Rita Rudner, and Robin Williams since 1995???? Jay Leno circa 1983 was brilliant. Now, he is an unfunny hack. I would like for anyone to offer ANY reason to watch his show.
 
2003-07-19 07:57:23 PM  
JimJones
Sinbad, oddly enough, has had his moments. See if you can find the clip talking about being spanked as a kid. THAT made me laugh. He's had a lot of crap to the side, but that bit was great.

It's your mamma's hand! Drop your butt and run!
 
2003-07-19 07:57:33 PM  
dandanpoo: Leno funnier than Letterman? Oh come on, they're not even on the same level. Leno can read all the prepared scripts that are written for him and still not be able to deliver one line as funny as Letterman can take 1 second to think up.
 
2003-07-19 07:58:13 PM  
No Jeff Foxworthy?! Also, Bob Saget, Tim Allen, and Leno should be removed from that list. That's 1/3 of the damn list!
 
2003-07-19 07:58:53 PM  
Am I the only one who thinks Robin Williams should be on the list?
 
2003-07-19 07:59:26 PM  
This list would be easy...."Any comedian whose jokes are all about the same thing" (I.E. women whose jokes are about being women, ethnicities....whatever...but moreso, women who are minorities and only jokes are about being minority women....Margaret Cho I'm looking in your direction).
 
2003-07-19 07:59:41 PM  
[image from dt.prohosting.com too old to be available]
click here for wildman steve audio
 
2003-07-19 07:59:43 PM  
What? Carrot Top is a genius, man! A freaking Genius! Dial down the center? That just kills me. And Jim Varney..., comedy GOLD, Vern!

This list is BOGUS!

/Pauly Shore..., another FREAKING GENIUS!
 
2003-07-19 07:59:56 PM  
What an outrage! No Colin Quinn? what is wrong with this man?
 
2003-07-19 08:00:14 PM  
letterman takes waaaaaaaay too long to deliver a joke. and the sympathy laughs he goes for by exagerating a number is pathetic... "i went outside today and it had to be at least 172 degrees" .
 
2003-07-19 08:00:42 PM  
Ernest rules!
 
2003-07-19 08:00:43 PM  
i don't find letterman funny at all. but i do find leno funny.

it must be east vs west coast thing.
 
2003-07-19 08:00:59 PM  
Bob Saget kicks ass, flash to a scene of half-baked, "You ever sucked dick for marijuana?"
 
2003-07-19 08:02:45 PM  
No mention of Yakov Smirnov?

In Soviet Union we can only make jokes about tractors, and we are hauled off to Gulag if we don't make Premier laugh. What a country!
 
2003-07-19 08:03:16 PM  
Nice how people can form a "list of things I dont like" into a decently HTMLed "Top Ten List" and have people assume it's solid fact.

And that's not the Ten Worst Comedians, it's the Ten Worst Comedians who everybody's heard of and can thus agree with the "facts".

Watch HBO Comedy after midnight and you'll see some of the worst comedians ever.

Anyway, if you're naming "famous" comedians who suck, you need to include:

Janeane Garofalo
Lou Anderson
Rita Rudner
Roseanne Arnold
Rodney Dangerfield


Also, several of the people on that list aren't comedians.. just actors.
 
2003-07-19 08:06:09 PM  
i was hoping i would be the first person on here to say that bob saget rocks, but i guess i'm not as unique as i thought. glad to see there are more saget fans on fark.
 
2003-07-19 08:06:27 PM  
I agree with that entire list...they are not funny.

However, i agree that Jeff Foxworthy should be up there....along with Bernie Mack, any of the Wayans, and ANYTHING featured on the "Originial" Kings of Comedy
 
2003-07-19 08:07:17 PM  
I used to agree with Bob Saget untill I saw Half Baked.
 
2003-07-19 08:09:20 PM  
Leno's stand up act was terrific (I last saw it before he had the Tonight Show.) Very political. Very funny. I haven't seen him on the Tonight Show, but it has to be toned down, I mean they picked him over Letterman for his niceness factor.
 
2003-07-19 08:10:01 PM  
Colin Quinn has great material, he just can't deliver worth shiat.
 
2003-07-19 08:10:30 PM  
I've gotta go for Joey Bishop as the worst...
 
2003-07-19 08:10:37 PM  
I'm not sure I would call Bob Saget a good comedian. It's just that he doesn't suck as bad as one might believe from watching Full House.
 
2003-07-19 08:11:38 PM  
Carrot top should be the only person on this list but how about Paula Poundstone! Every thing about her is unfunny!
 
2003-07-19 08:12:10 PM  
The guy who made this list is an idiot.

Leno is great.

This schmuck must be a Letterman fan.
 
2003-07-19 08:12:54 PM  
Am I the only one who thinks Robin Williams should be on the list? Old Robin Williams stand up routine alone, yes.

His recent HBO show was not too bad, however, and given his entire body of work, he has redeemed himself somewhat.
 
2003-07-19 08:13:00 PM  
Anyway, if you're naming "famous" comedians who suck, you need to include: Janeane Garofalo

Oh yeah, in her Bowler costume from Mystery Men.
I'm up for that!
 
2003-07-19 08:14:17 PM  
including jim varney on the list is kind of unfair. that would be like putting raffi on a "worst singers" list.
anyone who is defeding tim allen should have his fark license revoked. no explanation needed.
asriel86, word on janeane garofalo. i cannot believe she's made it as far as she has. i also second the nominations of colin quinn, jamie foxx, and whoopi goldberg.

i love it whenever one of these "comics" comes on the conan o'brien show, and he just kills them on the funniness meter. you can almost see the pain in their eyes as they're being exposed...
 
2003-07-19 08:14:22 PM  
Forgot about Death to Smoochy. Okay, he's back on the list.
 
2003-07-19 08:14:42 PM  
No mention of Gary Shandling yet?

...Amazing!
 
2003-07-19 08:15:29 PM  
2003-07-19 07:57:33 PM rhiannon

dandanpoo: Leno funnier than Letterman? Oh come on, they're not even on the same level. Leno can read all the prepared scripts that are written for him and still not be able to deliver one line as funny as Letterman can take 1 second to think up.


True dat,Rhiannon. Don't forget Leno's penchant for calling his own audience "stupid buncha morons" when they don't laugh at his jokes.

Johnny Carson was way too classy a host to do dumb shiat like that.
 
2003-07-19 08:15:59 PM  
I agree with the list except Jim Varney.. while I'll admit I probably wouldn't find any of his movies entertaining right now, I loved them as a kid..

The majority of his stuff was for the kids. If he were still alive, he'd probably tell us adults to go fark ourselves.
 
Xur
2003-07-19 08:16:17 PM  
Wait, did I hear Asriel86, talking smack 'bout my gal Janeane? Ooh, them's fightin' words.

Care t' step outside?
 
2003-07-19 08:16:23 PM  
I saw Gallager once on TV and I thought it was so bad I changed the channel. I couldn't even figure out why he was on TV.
 
2003-07-19 08:17:21 PM  
I miss Sam Kennison!
 
2003-07-19 08:17:56 PM  
[image from rainbowarch.com too old to be available]
#11
 
2003-07-19 08:18:28 PM  
Two people I think are really not funny; Dom Irrera and Margaret Cho.
 
2003-07-19 08:18:51 PM  
Why are you guys taking this list so farking seriously? It's by a site called "Dumbass And The fag" for godssake.

Jay Leno has his funny moments. I was surprised that he was number one and that Roseanne or Foxworthy weren't on that list. Get rid of Jerky Boys and Leno and fill it up with real crap.
 
2003-07-19 08:19:15 PM  
Jebus, what an idiot.

Whaaaaa, I don't like 'em cause they don't make me laugh...whaaaa, whaaaaaa

*click, bang
 
2003-07-19 08:19:32 PM  
Garafalo is sacred. I could watch her standup without sound. I am becoming very worried about me...
 
_
2003-07-19 08:20:23 PM  
Eh. I don't love all (well, any) of these comedians, but giving them the title of TEN WORST EVER is plain silly. There are many worse out there just waiting to be discovered.
 
2003-07-19 08:20:32 PM  

Man, it's depressing to see so many people defending the numerous hacks on that list. I suppose you're entitled to your opinions, but come on. Jay Leno is not funny. Martin Lawrence may be the most offensive, idiotic person to ever win national fame. Oh well.


Thought the list was good, though I, like most others here, would have put Carrot Top at #1. And as suggested by samperkinsdog, would have included Andy Kaufmann.

 
2003-07-19 08:21:58 PM  
Replace Martin with Foxworthy and that list is absolutely perfect. Martin's standup is over the top - he doesn't need to be that dirty - but his show and movies are genius. He's great with the physical comedy.

What he says about Allen is dead on. And to me, the greatest mystery in entertainment is how Leno has a bigger viewship than Letterman. What he says about his monologue is right but his interviews are even worse. Most of my conversations are funnier and more fun to watch. The genius of Letterman is that he makes anything funny. Last week he had audience members riding the elevators, and it was hilarious.
 
2003-07-19 08:22:41 PM  
[image from siouxcitylibrary.org too old to be available]
Pull that thing a little harder, kid. Maybe it'll pop the hell off.
 
2003-07-19 08:23:00 PM  
Leno is not #1, simply for the fact that Carrot Top is #1. Leno is definitely the worst of all late-night comedians. With the exception of token (and toking) black guy Kevin.

I didn't know Joan Rivers was trying to be funny, so I
guess that makes her pretty bad.

Gallagher is ... not funny. He recycles jokes and hits fruits with a hammer. YEA!

Bob Saget is a great guy. Not to mention Half-Baked again, but have you seen Dirty Work (with Norm MacDonald?) Norm and Bob were the minds behind that. Great movie.

Dice Clay, yea, he was all about the hype, because as they say, hype is nothing, and he's nothing.

Tim Allen, he's pretty farking annoying, but he's not Top 10.

The Jerky Boys were amusing at first, but they're so overused and outplayed by idiots. When I think about it, they're not the worst, it's just that people abused their kindafunniness.

Martin Lawrence, let's say if not for Carrot Top, he'd win the gold. Does he think that his blackness makes him more funny? I don't get it. And his sitcom farking sucked. What a theme song.

Ernest? ERNEST IS THE COOLEST! Me and my friends started an Ernest game. Basically, you just make up a title like "Ernest [verbs] [noun]" and the next guy has to do one related to that.

/that's my story and i'm sticking to it.
 
2003-07-19 08:25:02 PM  
Jay Leno comes across as a smug bastard who thinks he's smarter than everybody but in reality he's the one with ADD. Damn italians.
 
2003-07-19 08:25:14 PM  
hes right about leno... his show is so farking boring and the only things that are EVER funny on it are bits like headlines and jaywalking, where leno isnt involved at all in the comedy... the interviews can put you to sleep... fortunately, conan obrien is a GOD AMONG MEN.


and bob saget is a genius, he doesnt know what hes talking about... saget was either a producer or director of Dirty Work, which was THE greatest comedy EVER
 
2003-07-19 08:25:16 PM  
One thing I CAN say for certain - Conan O'Brien - Funniest man on TV- hands down.

/I have spoken- let it be written - let it be done.
 
2003-07-19 08:27:42 PM  
The list is farked...

Anyway, it would be much easier to list the 10 comedians who don't suck than the 9,684 who do.

Funniest I've seen in the past few years:

Eddie Izzard- "Dressed To Kill" (brilliant)
Chris Rock- Says shiat that would get a white comedian killed but he's addressing important issues.
Dave Chappelle- See above.
 
2003-07-19 08:28:12 PM  
Gilbert Gottfried. That is all.
 
2003-07-19 08:28:19 PM  
Margaret Cho does a lot more than "I'm Asian" jokes. She does "I'm such a slut" jokes, too.

Bob Saget's standup stuff is, shockingly, pretty damn good. He just had crappy material on the tv shows he's been on.

Worst comics? Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.
 
2003-07-19 08:32:25 PM  
Okay, okay. I read the article, starting reading the comments, and got all geared up to put together some rant about how the author included a comedians sitcom exposure (in many cases) as the sole reason they were a bad comedian. Actors in sitcoms (whether it's their show or not) RARELY ever write their own material. This includes talk shows. Do any of you know how many writers actually work for the Leno show??? Leno/Letterman probably havn't written their own material for their shows in years, so it's ridiculous to base their level of talent on their prospective shows.

Someone mentioned 'all of the wayans' in this thread. Have you ever even seen their stuff??? Some of it is genious. Major Payne - classic! Someone also said Rodney Dangerfield! Are you out of your mind? Go back and watch his early stuff. You can't your opinion of his entire career on Ladybugs. Go watch Back to School. Other people mentioned were Bob Saget, Lou Anderson...etc.

Then I realized. Everyone has their own dislikes/likes about comedians and comedy in general. Some people are going to like Rodney Dangerfield's material and others won't. Same for Saget, Jim Varney, Martin Lawrence..etc. They all have their own audiences - otherwise, they wouldn't have made their livings through comedy.
 
2003-07-19 08:33:01 PM  
Jay Mohr flying under the radar tonight...
 
2003-07-19 08:33:48 PM  
2. Carrottop.
2. Carrottop.
3. Carrottop.
4. Carrottop.
5. Carrottop.
6. Carrottop.
7. Carrottop.
8. Carrottop.
9. Carrottop.
10. Yakof Smirnof...no, wait, Steve Guttenberg, no wait...Carrottop.
 
2003-07-19 08:35:17 PM  
Isn't it funny how comedians, musicians, and other creative types always seem to lose their fastball when they quit a destructive habit?

Robin Williams was a riot when he was coked up. Megadeth rocked when Dave Mustaine was still a wild man (the guy got kicked out of Metallica in 1983 for being too wild...METALLICA, for crissakes!), Aerosmith screwed the pooch when Steve Tyler stopped shooting smack...

Just say no to drugs...unless you're famous, in which case laissez les bons temps rouler.
 
2003-07-19 08:35:23 PM  
I second Cableguy's praise of Dave Chappelle. He's definitely one of the funniest dudes alive right now. As for the Conan O'brien lovefest, I agree that he's funny, but he can be pretty annoying at times. He'll probably be Robin Williams in 15-20 years. He's still much, much better than that ass on CBS during the same time slot.
 
2003-07-19 08:35:37 PM  
Conan is #1, followed by Letterman who is also very funny. Leno sucks ass. Oh yeah, Colin Quinn and Jennine Garofolo (spelling?) should definitely be on the list.
 
2003-07-19 08:35:40 PM  
with the letterman/leno/conan debate you can base it off their interviews and unscripted comments

leno rarely ever leaves the script, and when he does its not funny at all... and his interviews have been known to put people into deep comas

letterman is a bit better, but it gets annoying sometimes

conan, on the other hand, is a genius. most of his written material is pretty bad, but he saves the show with his impromptu humor and remarks... and his interviews are always funny, no matter how bad the guest is
 
2003-07-19 08:36:48 PM  
Conan O'Brien is the best of the late night comedians, thank you very much. Possibly with the exception of Jon Stewart.

Seinfeld's stand-up act is spectacular. Boo to whoever dissed it earlier.

Oh, and Robin Williams is HILARIOUS. His HBO special was Godlike. You can't watch that bit on golf and not laugh yourself silly.

"OH WE'LL PUT THE HOLE HUNDREDS OF YARDS AWAAAAY"
 
2003-07-19 08:37:15 PM  
2003-07-19 08:35:17 PM SimuLord
Isn't it funny how comedians, musicians, and other creative types always seem to lose their fastball when they quit a destructive habit?

Robin Williams was a riot when he was coked up.


Interesting theory. I'd add Chevy Chase in there.
 
2003-07-19 08:37:54 PM  
I used to despise Jay Leno... nowadays I prefer his monologue over Letterman's tired formula. Why? Leno produces consistent cheap laughs... Letterman merely struggles with his formula and mannerisms.

Conan however, is however, the undisputed Late Night King, but I wish he'd ditch his tired "We have a great show tonight" act.
 
2003-07-19 08:37:58 PM  
Bob Saget Rocks. It wasn't until Bob Saget left AMF that we realized that no one can make good, yet family friendly jokes! He at least made it watchable.

Tim Allen has had his moments, along with the Jerky Boys & Gallagher.

Where is Red Skeleton?

I think this guy just looked at the back of a milk carton, or just watched comedy central for an hour and just made this article up. I mean, there is a heck of a lot more comedians crappier than Jay Leno. Even Carrot Top is crappier than Jay...
 
2003-07-19 08:40:49 PM  
what the heck was that southern blonde comedienne's name who had a hit show for a while??? HELP.

Anyway, she sucked.

Rhett something or other? Brett?
 
2003-07-19 08:40:53 PM  
Wendy Liebman would easily top the worst comediennes list.
 
2003-07-19 08:42:16 PM  
oneplugnickel- you are thinking bret bulterand yes she sucked ass- who names a girl bret
 
2003-07-19 08:42:52 PM  
"Oh, and Robin Williams is HILARIOUS. His HBO special was Godlike. You can't watch that bit on golf and not laugh yourself silly."

My god I hadn't laughed that hard in years.
 
2003-07-19 08:47:03 PM  
... and its farked. Deleted.

Copy-paste, anyone?
 
2003-07-19 08:47:56 PM  
oneplugnickel

That was Brett Butler. Yeah, she sucked.
 
2003-07-19 08:48:23 PM  
joeyscroz

Ask Brett Summers' mom (the old chick on Match Game).
 
2003-07-19 08:52:40 PM  
surprised no one mentioned Roseanne either.

/remembers Star Spangled Banner *cringe*

thanks guys... Brett Butler, yeah, that was it.
 
2003-07-19 08:52:54 PM  
2003-07-19 08:42:16 PM joeyscroz


oneplugnickel- you are thinking bret bulterand yes she sucked ass- who names a girl bret


The same people who name a boy Joe.

Very, very uncreative people.
 
2003-07-19 08:54:39 PM  
Written: June 5th, 2000

by Mogel
The following is the result of scientific testing and research. While there were literally hundreds of comedians suggested for this final list, we felt it necessary to take a careful account of each comedian's history, weighing their overall unfunnyness against positive assets they may have (if any). Only those truly worthy of our absolute hatred are included. You'd be surprised how many just barely slid by.
But, heck, if you'd like to nominate another comedian (film or television) for this list, please e-mail us, and please include some good reasons. Worthy Comments may be posted.


10
Ernest P. Worell
Deceased at age 50, the priceless legacy that Jim Varney has left us will never be forgotten. It is for this reason he is included here. Having seen an embarrassing number of his films at an early age, I can say with absolute certainty that, despite the endless stream of movie delights such as Ernest The Pirate, Ernest In The Army, Ernest Goes To Africa, Slam Dunk Ernest, Ernest Goes To School, Ernest Rides Again (no, I am not making any of these up), Ernest Scared Stupid, Ernest Goes To Jail, Ernest Goes To Camp, and Ernest Saves Christmas (the best of the series), Ernest P. has never gotten me to ever crack a smile with his repetitive, slapstick antics. In the words of Trent Reznor: if there is a hell, I'll see Ernest there.

9
Martin Lawrence
If Martin is truly a representation in any way of what young Black Americans want, I am sincerely confused. A boring facsimile of Eddie Murphy, Martin's stand-up is a series of "SHOCKINGLY UNSPOKEN!" commentary on sex, like "Yo I don't wanna eat out no unclean biatches! Hahahah!" (it's truly amazing people find this sort of material shocking considering how tired the style is), and his television show is a merger of incredibly redundant "characters" based on black stereotypes and catch phrases. It's a fantastic thing when one uses their skin color to make them marketable, and it's even more fantastic when you build your entire career of simply repeating street slang in a stupid voice. Perhaps behind closed doors, Martin is laughing at you for finding this bullshiat entertaining.

8
The Jerky Boys
Two guys that make prank phone calls. The material rarely gets beyond anything that hasn't been explored in programs like Candid Camera. These guys call up people and act like idiots, and hey, what a tremendous surprise that the people react to it. Their shiatty movie is a climatic testament to their worthlessness. This is not why I hate them, however--I hate these guys because they managed to inspire an entire peanut gallery of "computer hackers" and pranksters to imitate their dumb voices eternally. Voices which are either based on some sort of retarded cartoon, or racial stereotypes. Did anyone hear the one where they make fun of Indian people? That was hilarious! He's totally got the accent perfected!

7
Tim Allen
Tim Allen managed to come up with a remotely funny schtick while doing stand-up. "Men are pigs! Oink, oink! Men are stupid! Also, men are simple! Yes, we like manly stuff, because we are men and stupid and also pigs! And stupid! I'm talking about men here, not women!" Certainly not original, nor particularly interesting, however, he invested quite a lot into this line of humor and it appears to have paid off big time. Allen managed to spawn a long-running television show and several movies. What's remarkable about Tim Allen's career is that he's gone so far on just one joke. He just keeps re-telling the same joke over and over again ("Men like tools! Men stupid! Oink!") and people keep watching his stupid television show, gosh, it had like 300 seasons before it ended, didn't it?

6
Andrew Dice Clay
I realize including THE DICEMAN here is partially feigning ignorance to the only thing he managed to do successfully--getting stupid feminists mad. Unfortunately, this is a remarkably easy feat to accomplish, of which I'm sure most of you are well aware. When you strip any undeserved media-attention for him being "BANNED", you see fairly soon that this guy lacks the ability to actually say anything genuinely funny or interesting. It's actually kind of pathetic, because after all the hype, there's this guy in a leather jacket, telling nursery rhymes about girl's vaginas, expecting guys with mugs of beer to yell out "YEAH!!!!" as if to re-enact some empty, macho cliche. If it were done as parody, he probably should've let someone in on the joke at some point, you know, just for the heck of it. Gosh, maybe even to get a laugh or two.

5
Carrot Top
Carrot Top is basically a props comedian who runs around stage, pretending to be hyper, whipping out random objects. When the object has been presented, it is followed by him staring doe-eyed for a moment into the crowd, with a desperate cry for laughter. It's my hunch that people laugh because they feel kind of sorry for him, kind of like when your Uncle makes a really stupid joke and you give a fake laugh just so neither of you look like complete assholes. Well, I don't, but maybe you do. Even in his shiatty movie Chairman of The Board, it seems clear that Carrot Top relies entirely too much on physical comedy and visuals, since he looks menacingly similar to the Wendy's female icon. If only we were laughing as much as him!

4
Bob Saget
After seasons of Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos, Bob Saget has managed to make nobody laugh, with the exception of the freakish alien race that apparently frequents these shows as the live studio audience. You would most certainly have to be on another planet to find his washed-out, clean-cut, always-smile-while-I-read-the-teleprompter style even remotely entertaining. I've heard rumors that his stand-up routines are "DARK" and perverted and don't resemble his television personality at all, but I find this fairly hard to believe. And, even if that were true, his crimes against the Gods of Humor are far too great to ever be forgiven.

3
Gallagher
Hero of white trash, Gallagher is also a philosopher, and has studied the existential angst of middle-America closely, and concluded that smashing things with a hammer was the perfect gimmick that would rocket him into his comedic stardom. Surprisingly, it worked. His "sledge-o-matic" routine has supported many a sold out arena show, and his audiences come with raincoats to avoid fruits and vegetables hitting them. And he continues to smash things with his hammer, allowing for it to become his staple joke, which he repeats over and over again, smashing everything in sight! Ain't nothin' gettin' in the way of Gallagher and his hammer of hilarity! Actually, although Gallagher is tremendously unfunny, I enjoy watching him perform, if only to truly marvel at why this country sucks.

2
Joan Rivers
Before this stupid wench peddled gossip and jewelry and her daughter in a desperate attempt to stay famous, despite her glaring lack of talent, Joan Rivers used to do lots of 'comedy', with the "I'm the only really direct and honest woman out there telling how things really are!" Unfortunately for Joan Rivers, being honest meant saying things like "women either have to emphasize their brains or their looks," and giggling quite a lot around men. Which is truly a horrible sound, considering her cigarette-stained manly voice. Unsurprisingly, this didn't help her career or land her any big time laughs. I can safely say that I hate absolutely anything having to do with this woman. Clearly her ex-husband, Edgar, agrees with me on this one, since he eventually committed suicide. In fact, it amazes me that she ever bore the title "comedian" since, while this woman was not funny, I know several people who do not carry this title "comedian" and are far funnier.

1
Jay Leno
A few years ago I was flipping channels and I accidentally settled on The Tonight Show during the beginning of one of Jay Leno's monologues. I was confused by all the strained jokes and the complete lack of interesting material. For a few seconds I thought that perhaps he was actually doing a parody of a hack comedian, and I started to laugh. Yes, all these terrible jokes could very well be an act of comedic genius. Ahh, if only it were so. Perhaps my mind would not allow me to believe that someone could possibly be so unfunny. Perhaps I was worried that knowing The Truth would send my body into epileptic seizures. When I did realize that this was a sincere effort at humor, however, it quickly became one of the of most disturbing and traumatic experience of my life. And yes, I cried.
 
2003-07-19 08:54:41 PM  
Letterman was really cool in the eighties when he was still sorta exuding a "what am I doing onstage?" vibe. The show was much more unpredictable, and the audience was much less sycophantic (and much smaller). When he moved to the Ed Sullivan theater, everything became slicker, Dave became more arrogant, Paul was a lot less funny, the band became a lot less cool... they lost a lot of the experimental edginess they had. The failures and the absolute silliness was what made letterman great back then. CBS Letterman is a distilled version of a much more interesting show.
 
2003-07-19 08:55:04 PM  
i didn't see the list, but if it didn't include dennis "i'm a coont" miller, it was bogus.
 
2003-07-19 08:55:24 PM  
The list is farked.

My addition to the list (if he isn't on there): I can't remember his name, but his whole schtick was "Or you can call me Jay. Or you can call me Ray..." Only Homer Simpson seemed to like that hack.
 
2003-07-19 08:55:39 PM  
Kevin Neelan, from old Saturday Night Live--let me summarize his skits, for those of you who don't remember--

"I'm very stupid"
"very very stupid"
"no really, it's funny, cause a person couldn't be as stupid as I am, but i am."
"very stupid."

and so on...
 
2003-07-19 08:56:06 PM  
I see this is turing into a late night thing...Out of the late night shows, Conan has far and away the best show (haven't seen the Kimmel show, as I live in the UK now). Letterman was only good for his first two years then his jokes were all the same and just became annoying after a while. Leno just sucks. His jokes are lame and unfunny. His bits are the worst, and are written to get down to a level that a slobering lobamotized pychoward inmate would understand.

Even the interviews you can see the difference between them. Conan is incredibly quick witted and makes a bad interview funny (he used to banter a lot with Andy Richter when a invu was tanking). Jon Stewart is just as good with a slightly different humour. Letterman is alright, but still his monologues are bad, however his audiences are the worst. Why do they clap after every joke!?!... Leno just throws stupid softball questions that were written by a teenager.

/meanless--done on little sleep.
 
2003-07-19 08:56:07 PM  
Glad to see Dirty Work getting something props here.

[Sam & Mitch find out they're half-brothers.]
Mitch: Hey, remember in 4th grade when your sister was up on the monkey bars and I tried to sneak a peak at her underwear? I was really peaking at my own sister's underwear!
Sam: Yeah! And remember in 12th grade when you had sex with her?!
[Long, akward silence]

Mitch: You know what hurts the most is the, is the lack of respect, that's what hurts the most, except for the, except for the anal rape, that hurts the most, but the lack of respect hurts the second most!

Mitch: I've never seen so many dead hookers in my life!
Bystander: Lord knows I have.

Dr. Farthing: I can't blame anyone but myself, except maybe the Boston Bruins, Chicago Cubs, and Mr. T.
Mitch: Wait, Mr. T? You bet on the fight in Rocky III? And you bet against Rocky?
Dr. Farthing: Well, hindsight's twenty-twenty.
 
2003-07-19 08:58:58 PM  
theres two kinds of people in this world: those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping.
who said that?
you know, that one famous guy.. what was his name? oh yea, JESUS.
 
2003-07-19 09:00:54 PM  
http://funwavs.com/movie/sounds/dirty-work/?page=1

sometimes you gotta show the hen who the rooster is.
 
2003-07-19 09:02:11 PM  
Conan and Jon Stewart give the best interviews on television. I don't know how they do it, but they make EVERYBODY funny.
 
2003-07-19 09:03:42 PM  
Google cache of this page for your enjoyment
 
2003-07-19 09:07:40 PM  
The sad thing is Leno used to be really funny, way before he hosted the tonight show. He used to be much more edgy and cotroversial. See if you can track down some old clips when he was on Letterman, he was hysterical. He used to do this Showtime show which was pretty funny. I have no idea what happened to him. I guess NBC took all the funny away from him, it's kind of sad really. He forgot how to be funny
 
2003-07-19 09:08:07 PM  
Can we at least agree that George Carlin is god?
 
2003-07-19 09:09:43 PM  
Stymie,
If it means anything, your Bill Hicks reference was much appreciated.
Everytime some other new bullshiat happens, I wish I could hear his take on it.
[image from godhatesme.com too old to be available]
greatest.comedian.ever
 
2003-07-19 09:13:34 PM  
Press - Agreed!

Also...

anyone think Jim Gaffigan is funny? I don't know, I rather like his comedy right now. ^^
 
2003-07-19 09:14:07 PM  
Gallagher is all right. Sure, the "Sledge-O-Matic" bit is old, but that's just one part of his act. The rest of his shows are pretty good. Even the whole "Sledge-O-Matic" bit is pretty good the first time you see it; he frames it as a sendup of late-night infomercials. It's actually pretty amusing, the first time.
 
2003-07-19 09:14:31 PM  
Jim Gaffigan is hilarious everytime hes on conan
 
2003-07-19 09:18:35 PM  
farked
 
2003-07-19 09:19:48 PM  
I agree with everyone who has mentioned carrot top. Since everyone seems to agree that carrot top sucks, I have to admit he has one really good thing going for him: his agent. I wish someone would do a behind the music style documentary on him to see whose dick he and his agent are sucking to allow him to continue with his bomb of a career.
 
2003-07-19 09:22:22 PM  
hogans:

The list is farked.

My addition to the list (if he isn't on there): I can't remember his name, but his whole schtick was "Or you can call me Jay. Or you can call me Ray..." Only Homer Simpson seemed to like that hack.


Bill "Raymond J. (Johnson)" Saluga on the Redd Foxx Comedy Hour.

Redd Foxx was the farking shiat (as a comedian, and as Fred G. Sanford). Holy shiat. I love that guy.
 
2003-07-19 09:26:34 PM  
As long as we're blurring the lines between comedians and actors...

Ben Stiller As in, "The Inexplicable Career of."
 
2003-07-19 09:34:04 PM  
[image from savannahnow.com too old to be available]
 
2003-07-19 09:35:25 PM  
As long as we're blurring the lines between comedians and actors...

Ray Romano?
 
2003-07-19 09:36:34 PM  
Nice error message. WE KILLED IT!
 
2003-07-19 09:37:05 PM  
WE KILLED IT! Oh the Humanity.....
 
2003-07-19 09:37:44 PM  
Great comedians enjoying their prime right now include Lewis Black and Dave Chappelle.

I feel like a lesser person for saying it, but Chappelle's show is just unbelievably hilarious. "I'M RICH, BIATCH!"

Oh, and don't diss Gallagher. Aside from the sledgehammer stuff, his act has always been absolutely hilarious, and he's quite brilliant.
 
2003-07-19 09:39:57 PM  
Being British, I haven't really caught on to American talk shows until recently. For a couple of weeks I watched Letterman and Leno every night and drew the following conclusions - Leno is occasionally funny, but his arrogance makes me want to poke my balls with a fork; Letterman's just not funny at all. But he had Harry Hill on a few times, so he gets points for that.
 
2003-07-19 09:41:13 PM  
someone tell me why I always confuse Gallagher with Tiny Tim? lol :)
 
2003-07-19 09:45:18 PM  
Worst comedians....
Carrot Top (no questions)
Emo Phillips (annoying)
Andrew Dice Clay (juvenile)
Howie Mandell (what? what?)
Mort Sahl (boring)
Johnny Carson (too many still born monologues)
Joey Bishop (too dull)
Martin Lawrence (Richard Pryor wanna-be)
Shucky Ducky (quack quack...fark you!)
BEST COMEDIANS
Lenny Bruce (the man!)
Sam Kinison (my hero)
Shelley Berman (funniest clean comedian ever!)
Richard Pryor (obvious)
George Carlin
Steven Wright
Rodney Dangerfield
Eddie Murphy (RAW is still a classic!)
 
2003-07-19 09:45:58 PM  
As long as we're blurring the lines between comedians and actors...

Ray Romano?


Definitely Ray Romano. Let's all yell at each other about how banal normal life is.

And Dave Chappelle. Another Martin Lawrence.
 
2003-07-19 09:46:47 PM  
no one has mentioned andy dick. am i the only one that doesn't find this guy one bit entertaining? the only way i would laugh at him is if i would see him homeless on the street.
 
2003-07-19 09:47:50 PM  
OMG, Howie Mandell! How could we have forgotten about HIM?

Actually, maybe that just the point...
 
2003-07-19 09:55:37 PM  
Andy Dick is a comedian?
 
2003-07-19 09:57:02 PM  
I don't watch enough of Letterman and Leno to judge the two, but Letterman's bits are awful. Things like "Will it float?" or whatever it was called, et al. Asstastic.
 
2003-07-19 09:58:47 PM  
zappaisfrank : Sorry, but Bill Hicks is the greatest ever.

GREATEST
1. Bill Hicks
2. Dave Chappelle ( Killing them softly is one of the best hour long comedy specials ever )
3. George Carlin
4. Andy Kaufman
5. Richard Pryor
 
2003-07-19 10:00:21 PM  
Cousins of mine said his MTV show was funny, so I tuned in once. He was doing a skit about animal ejaculation specialist Bob Gunderson. I cracked a smile only because there is a Bob Gunderson that lives in my neightborhood, and that his name will forever be stained with the catastrophe that is Andy Dick.
 
2003-07-19 10:01:14 PM  
Carlin's another genius, too...can't believe I forgot to mention him. 'You're All Diseased' is AMAZING.

"Back in my day, when someone came into schools and shot up four or five people, we just kept right on going with our arithmatic! 'Thirty-five students...minus four...'"
 
2003-07-19 10:03:04 PM  
Sorry, I forgot to put down Andy Kaufmann under the worst comedians on my list...sorry, he was just not funny!
 
2003-07-19 10:03:47 PM  
I remember Howie Mandel! he had his own show! remember life with bobby?!
 
rmz
2003-07-19 10:03:58 PM  
Axolotl
OMG, Howie Mandell! How could we have forgotten about HIM?

Actually, maybe that just the point...


He died a couple years ago after he tried inflating a surgical glove with his nose like a balloon and passed out, hitting his head the corner of a table.

/bonus points to anyone who gets that
 
2003-07-19 10:06:44 PM  
Holy shiat! The news just announced that Martin Lawrence got killed in a car crash earlier today.
 
2003-07-19 10:07:36 PM  
Quoth the website:

DEAR SIRS, I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT "10 best comedians" is now down to excess hits.

DEAR SIRS, I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU KILLED IT DEAD.


Farked beyond all recognition.
 
2003-07-19 10:08:56 PM  
Andy Dick and Howie mandell are both horrid. Now that I think about it, so is Tom Green.
 
2003-07-19 10:08:58 PM  
jeremy hotz is funny
 
2003-07-19 10:09:28 PM  
Can anyone recommend some good George Carlin material? The one routine I found was quite crap, and I know he is well respected so I thought there must be better stuff out there
 
2003-07-19 10:10:21 PM  
oops my bad, i didn't mean life with bobby, i meant bobby's world, rock on howie!
 
2003-07-19 10:17:17 PM  
Wow. This was an overdue list.
 
2003-07-19 10:18:30 PM  
What's up with all the Carrot Top bashing? C'mon just because he uses visual gags doesn't mean he's not funny. There are plenty worse comedians than him such as Laura Kightlinger.

Oh and have you seen that show Last Comic Standing on NBC? That show is farking hilarious. That crazy ass asian dude has to go! He has nothing funny in him.

And I agree, everybody hates Jay Leno. Talk about the biggest flake in the world. He has mastered the art of fake chuckling and pretending to be a nice guy. And it's the stupid ones who buy into it and think he's genuine.
 
2003-07-19 10:19:26 PM  
All female comedians suck.
 
2003-07-19 10:20:21 PM  
Sam Kinison - worst EVER. Ya, yelling will make it funny.
 
2003-07-19 10:23:31 PM  
rmz
Poor poor Howie Mandel. Family Guy tore everyone apart, didn't they?

/Worst. Cancellation. Ever.
 
2003-07-19 10:24:32 PM  
WayToBlue You forget Sam Kinison was fat, thats funny!
 
2003-07-19 10:27:10 PM  
Good old Howie sometimes makes appearances on Leno. Obviously, they aren't funny.
 
2003-07-19 10:27:47 PM  
Can't forget Adam Sandler. Unless you're under 21.
 
2003-07-19 10:28:46 PM  
My list of "worst comics ever":

[image from cmbi.kun.nl too old to be available][image from deeptrancenow.com too old to be available]
[image from williambader.com too old to be available]
 
2003-07-19 10:30:10 PM  
All hail the late, the great Bill Hicks.

I was trying to remember who was ripping off ol' Bill, rat-bastard Dennis Leary.

And Carrot Top (who's what, pushing 50?) is the worst comedian ever. I actually liked his act...15 years ago! Somebody, put that POS out of our misery.

And Lewis Black rules!
 
2003-07-19 10:30:43 PM  
Ever heard this new guy, Mitch Hedberg??

"A man came up to me and asked if I'd like a frozen banana...I said no. But then I thought I might like a regular banana later, so yes."

Farking genious!
 
2003-07-19 10:31:19 PM  
Jellyfish, check out State Prison Farms. You could probably find it on Kazaa no problem. Just punch in his name and downlaod a bunch. I'm pretty sure you'd be safe as he isn't a musician. He is defiantely the the best out there. You probably jsut got unlucky. Most of his material is hysterical, even years later.
 
2003-07-19 10:31:27 PM  
If you would try and look past the screaming and LISTEN to what Kinison had to say, you'll see he was damm funny!
 
2003-07-19 10:32:38 PM  
"If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
 
2003-07-19 10:32:44 PM  
Before you criticize/praise Jay Leno, David Letterman, or Conan O'Brien, realize that you are really commenting on the writers that work for that show. They don't write the material they do anymore, no one could do that by themselves for a five day a week show. That Letterman's show isn't that funny anymore is more due to the fact that CBS won't spend the money to get good writers. Remember that CBS is the network that gives us 'Touched By An Angel', they are not likely to push the envelope when it comes to comedy.
 
2003-07-19 10:36:29 PM  
Ah I forgot about Bobcat Goldthwait. OMG. How the hell did this guy stretch his Police Academy fame to 15 years of utter annoyance?

Oh and Mitch Hedberg isn't exactly new. He's been around for a while, but he's farking hilarious.
 
2003-07-19 10:40:31 PM  
You all are idiots.

erhm, those who think Jay Leno is not funny, Martin Lawrence is stupid, Robin Williams gay and yes Letterman is a hack. A serious Hack. Drew Carey is farking awesome and Carrot top shouldnt even be allowed to breathe this good air we do, for the simple reason he couldnt make a baby laugh.

/throws some oil/gasoline mix into the fire.
 
2003-07-19 10:41:58 PM  
I'm a struggling stand up comic, so I know how hard this job is... however, there are some people who are truly comedy Gods among men.

1. Bill Hicks - gone before his time and still funny as hell to this day. If you have never heard of Bill Hicks I suggest you check out his website billhicks.com.

2. George Carlin - Still a genious after all these years. Jellyfish - check out his Football vs. Baseball routine

3. Billy Connolly - The funniest Scotsman you will ever see... the whole Robin Williams Golf schtik came from Connolly. He's brilliant.

4. Richard Pryor - anyone who can make a character out of a heart attack is brilliant.

5. Lenny Bruce - he pushed the boundries and made comedy a hell of a lot smarter.

6. Bill Cosby - a master story teller in his own right.

7. Phylis Diller - she broke a lot of ground for female comedians.

8. Jonathan Winters - brings a lot of characters to life on the stage.

9. Brian Regan - great clean comedian.

10. Lewis Black - one of the funniest comedians out there today... and a heck of a nice guy too.

If you really want to see some bad comedy go to an open mic night or two. I go to them all the time and there are some REALLY BAD comedians out there.
 
2003-07-19 10:44:34 PM  
Dave Attell's stand-up from the beginning of Insomniac is usually pretty lame, but the rest of the show rules.

As for Robin Williams, I've heard that his stand-up is actually funny instead of his one-note, cookie-cutter, outsider against the evil establishment movies. Yes? No?
 
2003-07-19 10:45:04 PM  
In Soviet Comedy, Carrottop SUCKS YOU!
 
2003-07-19 10:50:36 PM  
ChewBubba73

Your an idiot.

All except for cosby your so wrong it isnt even funny. Perhaps that is why you are struggling.

The Kings of Comedy are

1: Leno
2: David Attel (of Insomniac fame)
3: Drew Carey
4: Martin Lawrence
5: Robin Williams
6: Connan O'Brien
7: Rodney Dangerfield
8: Chevy Chase
9: Adam Sandler
10: Colin Quinn. (Weekend update was BRILLIANT)
 
2003-07-19 10:52:02 PM  
i didn't see the list, but if it didn't include dennis "i'm a coont" miller, it was bogus.

Amen! Dennis Miller was never funny. He's got to be one of the dullest comedians out there. Now that he's become the right wing's lap dog, he's annoying and unfunny.
 
2003-07-19 10:54:53 PM  
No Neil Hamburger?
 
2003-07-19 10:55:29 PM  
No Mitch Hedberg is not new....or even close to funny
 
2003-07-19 11:00:35 PM  
My response to the list:

10 Ernest P worell

No, no, no. I like him.. Especially when he did the Trauth Dairy commercials with "Ya know whut I mean Vern?" I still use that quote to this day. I do have to give him props for the "last congical visit" scene in "Ernest goes to jail" that woman was just ewww.

9. Martin Lawrence

Martin is an idiot. he seems like a talentless fake. I agree with the placement on this list.

8. The Jerky Boys

They kept me laughing while at work, they have a small amount of talent. But I do agree on their placement on the list. I wouldnt pay for their CD's. I love burners. :)

7. Tim Allen

My wife refers to me by this name frequently due to my inability to build anything that can stand the test of 5 pounds.


6. Andrew Dice Clay

no opinion

5. Carrot Top

I WISH HE WOULD F**KING DIE!

4. Bob Saget

urgh. DIE!

3. Gallagher

hey now, the sledge-o-matic was semi funny. Then again I thought breaking glass was hysterical when I was younger. I want to know where he got that gigantic inflatable ball thing for his one show, I want one... The kid climbed into it, and tried to do a complete turn in it and failed.

2. Joan Rivers

LETS NOT TALK! I hope you get mouth cancer and it falls off!

1. Jay Leno

talentless lackey.
 
2003-07-19 11:04:06 PM  
I've never once laughed at anything Colin Quinn has said, done, or had said to him. I watched his After-The-Daily-Show crapfest one time. And between jokes about hasbeens from the the 90s, when people liked him, and his inability to talk for three sentances without tripping over his lines, he succeeds in giving me hope that, no matter how unfunny i am, i can still make it in the world of comedy.
 
2003-07-19 11:06:26 PM  
MrNeutron: Not all of them suck. Sarah Silverman (Jimmy Kimmel's girlfriend) is actually pretty funny.

Also, Letterman is the funniest host on late night. Next up is Conan, then Leno, Tom Green, Jimmy Kimmel, and Craig Kilborn in that order.

Anyone who thinks that Leno is funnier than Letterman is obviously a dumbass.

And Janeane Garafalo (sp?) is not funny. She used to be amusing, but she went into politics. Comedians lose their funny when they go into politics. A good comedian will make fun of everyone. Garafalo gets angry and attacks the right, which you may or may not agree with, but its not funny when she does, and it makes it near impossible for her to believably poke fun at the left.

Al Franken also lost his funny doing this, and Chris Rock almost crosses that line, but somehow he manages to "get political" without becoming a politician.
 
2003-07-19 11:11:40 PM  
DaRblGen you are the idiot. You must learn the difference between a TV star and being a 'Comic'. Leno? His comedy routine's weren't much, and I bet you haven't even seen them anyways.
 
2003-07-19 11:16:49 PM  
Befuddled: CBS Doesn't hire/Pay for letterman's writers, they just air the show. Letterman's Worldwide Pants, Inc. owns and produces the Late Show. He hires his own writers.

Conversely, NBC owns the Tonight Show and Late Night.

DaRblGen: Kings of Comedy??? Let me loan you 10 bucks for a sense of humor.

FRKBOY: Some of the guest comedians on that show are funny. Norton is hilarious - see him live and try not to laugh.
 
2003-07-19 11:21:43 PM  
Fark killed this site like an articulated banana bus running over baby ducks.
 
2003-07-19 11:27:47 PM  
The Original Kings of Comedy was the most disappointing movie I ever seen. Usually I can understand what Bernic Mac is saying but in that movie he's like, "nnkflankfl nkfnkalfn lan motherfarker! fark nfkafnk fark motherfarker! wytwtyw mmfdafark"

I also found Bill Maher funnier when he wasn't *just* politics.

Colin Quinn has good jokes but delivers them like a crackhead doctor.

I worship Dave Chappelle.
 
2003-07-19 11:28:32 PM  
darb...

you listed Leno as the king of comedy, and misspelled conan o'brien

thats grounds for execution
 
2003-07-19 11:30:20 PM  
DaRblGen, your list has funy people, except for Leno. Ugh. This guy is boring beyond belief.

IN the land of lists, here is mine, in no particular order.

Dane Cook,
Lewis Black,
George Carlin,
Denis Leary,
Eddie Murphy (before his family movie stage. God, who knew having kids could make some one become so unfunny)
Robin Williams,
Jamie Foxx,
Chris Rock,
Richard Pryor,
Redd Foxx,
Sarah Silverman.

/too drunk to keep thinking and I have ribs to eat. Yum.
 
2003-07-19 11:36:31 PM  
add Craig Kilborn to the worst list. I haven't laughed at him since I stopped smoking pot. Back when he was on the Daily show, but I think I was laughing at the guests anyway.
 
2003-07-19 11:38:53 PM  
Lupa, your assessment of Letterman is dead on. Letterman on the old NBC show set the standard by which all talk/comedy shows are now judged. His CBS show is boring, predictable and uninspired. Which is why Letterman pulled the plug when some cable network began airing his old shows a few years back, it just demonstrated how far he had slipped.
Now, add Ellen DeGeneres, Bob Goldthwait & Jeff Foxworthy to the list and it would be more complete. As bad as Carrot Top is, he's funnier than the three mentioned above.
 
2003-07-19 11:39:09 PM  
My faves

1-David Cross
2-Eddie Izzard
3-Bill Hicks (R.I.P)
4-Lewis Black
5-Dave Chappelle
6-Robert Schimmel
7-Bill Edwards


The ultimate worsts

1-Judy Tenuta
2-Sandra Bernhardt
3-Jay Leno
4-Carrot Top
5-Dennis Leary (Ripping off Bill Hicks as his body was still warm... shame on you Leary... And to think I once bought you a goddam beer !!! )
 
2003-07-19 11:40:28 PM  
Robin Williams is an awesome stand-up comedian, but a lousy comedic actor. He does much better with the dramatic roles. "One Hour Photo" is FREAKY.

But stand-up? No one can touch him when he's on. I spent an ungodly amount of money on tickets when he played DC, and it was worth every penny. My abs hurt for three days, I laughed so hard.

One glaring omission to the Crap List? Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah, "Seinfeld" had its funny moments, but they never came from him. His entire stand-up act was making mundane observations and saying "What's up with that?" afterwards. Hopefully there is a special place in hell reserved for him and his doppelganger Ray Romano.
 
2003-07-19 11:41:19 PM  
CaptainGood,

Yeah, that asian guy isn't funny at all (Last Comic Standing). Neither is that huge fat guy and I can't believe he has a hot girlfriend. Completely lost my faith in women in that one episode.
 
2003-07-19 11:41:45 PM  
Farked.
 
2003-07-19 11:53:30 PM  
We mustn't forget Steve Martin, who, in the day, was the funniest. Most of you young guys probably think he's just a movie actor.
 
2003-07-19 11:55:39 PM  
The site is seriously farked.

Seriously.
 
2003-07-19 11:55:52 PM  
What about Richard "Mullet" Lewis. Boku' boy. Worse than Dennis Miller
 
2003-07-20 12:01:39 AM  
Can't comment on Carrottop since i've never seen his shtick, but based on these comments he's Fark's consensus least funny comedian. I have to admit, just looking at picture of him irritates me.

Emo Phillips however is the most unfunny comedian I've ever seen. He talks in a weird voice, that's it.
 
2003-07-20 12:04:33 AM  
DaRblGen, you are the real king of comedy as your list is just a big farking joke.

How could you put in Leno, Carey, and O'Brien, but leave out George Carlin, Eddie Murphy and even Chris Rock?

Wait I know!
Your a farking moron who only watches overhyped, overproduced, soft, mainstream actors who like sell themselves as real comedians.

The only two decent ones on your list were Chase and Dangerfield. At least they used to be good as opposed to your other picks who were never funny; aren't funny now; and ,unless hit by a bus while someone is videotaping, will never be funny. Case closed. Fark you. Go watch Leno ya dumbfark.
 
2003-07-20 12:04:36 AM  
mrdark

"Don't forget Leno's penchant for calling his own audience "stupid buncha morons" when they don't laugh at his jokes."

Mike Bullard is about 10 times worse than Leno at that. He blames the audience about 5 times per show.
 
2003-07-20 12:06:07 AM  
Letterman is an improvisational genious. Yeah, his routine is a little stale after all these years, but he can still come up with a comment in one second that would take a year for Leno to think up.
 
2003-07-20 12:07:26 AM  
lardog: Steve Martin was also quite good. Very quick thinker and excellent delivery.
 
2003-07-20 12:10:49 AM  
It took 'til bashturn for someone to list David Cross as a favorite? Shame on y'all!
 
2003-07-20 12:12:55 AM  
Mike Bullard seriously sucks the sweat of a beaver's nutsack....

We get it Mike, you are Canadian... yes we know... you live in Canada... ok, you like the Maple Leafs... Yes it is cold outside... we get it ... WE GET IT !!!
 
2003-07-20 12:15:39 AM  
Why do people think Lewis Black is funny? I saw his routine last year, and all he did was look arrogant and swear a lot. "If I had a million dollars I'd hire a guy to follow me around all day and lick my balls!" HAHAHAhahawait, no, it's actually stupid.
And yeah, lots of people are confusing 'comedian' with 'tv star.' So even though an empty box of Corn Flakes is funnier than Jay Leno, he (Leno) shouldn't be on the list.

And, since I'm sure you all were waiting for my valuable input, here's my list of worst comedians:
10. Lewis Black
9. Carrottop
8. Sam Kinnison
7. Andrew Dice Clay
6. Martin Lawrence
5. Dennis Miller
4. Carrottop
3. Adam Sandler
2. Jeff Foxworthy
1. Carrottop
 
2003-07-20 12:16:10 AM  
Everyone's a comedian compared to Mike Bullard. I'd rather paint my walls then watch that.
 
2003-07-20 12:16:53 AM  
One of the things I'm really loving about fark is that there are a LOT of people here who have listened to and appreciate Bill Hicks. The man is probably the greatest comedian ever, in my humble opinion, and probably one of the greatest social commentators ever. Some comedians make you laugh, some make you think, but he made you question everything you believed and laugh your ass off in the process. I wish I'd come across his brilliance earlier in my life, as I've only really listened to him over the past few years. I lost all respect for that piece of shiat Dennis Leary after seeing how much he's "lifted" from the great one.

~D
 
2003-07-20 12:18:41 AM  
Dennis Leary, Colin Quinn, Craig Kilborn and Jay Leno are all equally worthless. That said, Dave Chappelle's Blackzilla tour was hilarious, and if his show comes out on DVD, I'm all over it.
 
2003-07-20 12:19:05 AM  
And for all you Leno bashers, try to get a hold of some of his stuff from the 80's, before he was on TV. He used to be damn funny and was very respected amongst comedians.

~D
 
2003-07-20 12:19:28 AM  
Alright...Carrottop sucks, but granted...has anyone seen 'Chairman of the Board'? It's so bad, it's the funniest damn thing ever. I cried from laughing so hard AT it.
 
2003-07-20 12:19:40 AM  
Conan O'Brien, Craig Kilborn, Jay Leno, David Letterman, All of the "Original Kings of Comedy", all horrid.

Some of the good:
1. Andy Kaufman
2. Bill Hicks
3. Dane Cook
4. Robin Williams (stand-up only)
5. Nick Swardson
6. George Carlin
7. Dave Chapelle
 
2003-07-20 12:20:27 AM  
How could that list not include Sheky Green? SHEKY GREEN!
 
2003-07-20 12:23:38 AM  
Some more regarding Mike Bullard

... what is that Mike ?... you want to explain to us the concept of Canadian Tire Money ?... no thanks... yes we know it is not the Prime minister wearing a fuzzy ball hat printed on it... We get it... Yes Saskatchewan is boring... we know.... please... please dont... MIKE !!! would you please shut up about jumper cables allready !?!?.. Yes.. Mike, the Prime Minister does look and talk funny... we know Mike... WE KNOW !
 
2003-07-20 12:24:41 AM  
Forgot one on my fave list

8-Patton Oswalt
 
2003-07-20 12:26:36 AM  
"Where are from sir?"
"Scarborough"
"Oh, well..."
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
2003-07-20 12:27:28 AM  
And one must not forget that meaty breasted nothing Jimmy Norton!
 
2003-07-20 12:31:28 AM  
187 posts about comedians and nobody's mentioned how great Don Rickles is? Heathens.
 
2003-07-20 12:33:36 AM  
I vote for Drew Curtis. The spilled beer on the server line is getting pretty old.
 
2003-07-20 12:35:27 AM  
"Hey look everybody! Crossing guard's grabbin' seven year old arse over here!!!"

Dirty Work rules.
 
2003-07-20 12:38:48 AM  
David Cross, Jon Stewart and Lewis Black are gods amoung men.

Todd Barry (If that's his right name) is pretty damn funny as well.

Bizzare trivia: I just realized this but Lewis Black has a very early scene as a doctor in the movie Jacob's Ladder.
 
2003-07-20 12:42:51 AM  
kurt_roges, Lewis Black's politically spun commentary is on spot and hilarious because it's 90% true.
 
2003-07-20 12:50:06 AM  
My points:

All of the late-night TV hosts (save Jon Stewart) have become lame as a result of having been broadcasting for so long. Most of them weren't lame to begin with. Conan O'Brien wrote some of the funniest episodes of The Simpsons, for God's sake.

I agree, political humor does not work 95% of the time. Most comedians can't stop their opinions from overshadowing their humor. The Daily Show has political humor perfected, but Miller and Maher become obnoxious long ago as a result of being overly opinionated.

Dave Attell is hysterical. Watch his Comedy Central Presents special and see what I mean. He's in top form there.

Dane Cook is funny, but you can only use that bone-chilling scream so many times before my nerves require me to change the channel.

Lewis Black is good at what he does: Anger. He's going to have a heart attack on stage someday.

Janeane Garofalo needs to stick with stand-up and stay out of making movies. She's not a good actress. I saw her live once and she tore the place up. It was hysterical.

Denis Leary was in top form during his "No Cure For Cancer" special. It was made almost ten years ago, but it's still hilarious. He's mellowed out a bit too much lately.
 
2003-07-20 12:56:30 AM  
andy kaufmann was not a "comedian" - he was a friggin' genius and he fcuked with poeples heads. on purpose. go rent some of his tapes if you haven't yet - pretty twisted (and beautiful) stuff...
 
2003-07-20 12:59:13 AM  
I think Tony Clifton is the world's worst comedian, without a doubt. I can't believe he found work.
The way he treated the late, great Andy Kaufman was a travesty, simply a travesty.

[image from andykaufman.jvlnet.com too old to be available]
Above, Clifton making a "joke" of strangling his protege, Any Kaufman.Clifton also treated his audience with disrespect time and again.


[image from subcin.com too old to be available]

See
The Tony CLifton Story
The Tony Clifton Story

With sound files "Kaufman's been using my name to get places (on Letterman SHow)
 
2003-07-20 01:03:30 AM  
Denis Leary was in top form during his "No Cure For Cancer" special. It was made almost ten years ago, but it's still hilarious. He's mellowed out a bit too much lately.

He had kids too. Like Murphy.
 
2003-07-20 01:06:37 AM  
Worst ever, no particular order:
Carrot Top
Andy Kaufmann
Dave Chapelle
Margaret Cho
Andy Kaufmann (yes, again...really sucked terribly)
Rita Rudner
 
2003-07-20 01:07:29 AM  
Denis Leary is an unoriginal fark....he even mocked Bill Hicks death from pancreatic cancer in the name of his album "no cure for cancer". I used to think he was funny, then I grew up. fark Leary.

~D
 
2003-07-20 01:07:40 AM  
Jeff Foxworthy = "If you...you might be a redneck."
Jerry Seinfeld = "Didja ever notice...?"
Dennis Miller = "I don't wanna go on a rant here, but blah blah blah LIBERALS blah blah blah MY HEAD'S UP MY ASS blah blah blah IN THE GOP'S POCKET..."
Adam Sandler = "Put on your yarmulke, it's time for Chanukah..."
Tim Allen = "(Grunt)(Grunt)(Grunt)(Grunt)"
 
2003-07-20 01:09:51 AM  
By the way, I love Seinfeld and his show. Truly original and classic.
 
2003-07-20 01:10:51 AM  
bashturn,
Its completely true about Mike Bullard, I honestly can't belive that he's still on the air. He just isn't funny at all. Why give those canadian tire jumper cables to celeb guests? Is it funny...no. Is it a waste of time/money...yes.
Mike:"...and what's with Jean Cretien's(insert problem here)?"
No Mike the real question is whats with your repeated jokes? Everytime I see his show on he says the same things. Hmmm they weren't funny yesterday...let's try them again today, eh Mike.
 
2003-07-20 01:24:00 AM  
Lewis Black is amazing. "When I turn around, there can't possibly be a Starbucks behind me."
 
2003-07-20 01:24:58 AM  
Squidward is overated, Maggie simpson and of course Moe Sleazak. I liked Bugs Bunny until he got so full of himself.
 
2003-07-20 01:26:13 AM  
Someone earlier said Red Skelton wasn't funny. Screw you. His training was rooted in vaudeville, and he wasone of the best character and physical masters going. Maybe it isn't 'funny' in the synical or ironic sense, but Skelton's comedy is quite funny in a pure and direct way. Watch closer next time.
 
2003-07-20 01:26:55 AM  
GAH cynical
 
2003-07-20 01:36:00 AM  
Bernie Mac is only funny while your stoned. sometimes it sounds like he's speaking Chinese or something. try it, it's great.
 
2003-07-20 02:02:16 AM  
They killed cedrick. Thank god. I sat through kings of comedy and he was the only unfunny person in that film. God, I hated him.
 
2003-07-20 02:29:29 AM  
Judging Bob Saget on Full House is retarded. He's heard "Rumors" that his real stand-up is dark but can't believe it?

Idiot.

Two Words : Half-Baked

"Marijuana's not a drug. I've sucked dick for coke, have you ever sucked dick for marijuana?"
 
2003-07-20 02:41:23 AM  
the only thing funny about carrot top is how he looks like the wendy's hamburger girl when he pins his hair back.

neil hamburger is so incredibly unfunny that he's actually somewhat amusing. but that's his whole schtick.

i can't believe no one has mentioned doug stanhope on their 'best' list. i mean, he's no bill hicks or anything, but he's one of the funniest and most observant comics in the country today.
 
2003-07-20 02:41:29 AM  
2003-07-19 08:28:19 PM Not_Todd


Margaret Cho does a lot more than "I'm Asian" jokes. She does "I'm such a slut" jokes, too.


Which makes her suck about a million times more
 
2003-07-20 02:48:06 AM  
Saget ain't that bad.

Seriously, whoever wrote this never saw his stand-up. He/she even admits that.

I just watched the Jerry Seinfeld movie/documentary "Comedian". Very, very cool. You get to see Jerry try to build himself back up again...not because he had to, but because he wants to start anew. You also get to see a younger antithesis of Jerry, some self-important prick stand-up named Orny Adams. There's a scene in "Comedian" where Seinfeld is sitting backstage with Richard Klein, Kevin Nealon, and Chris Rock just talking like anyone talking with their friends. Awesome.

If you like stand-up, rent or buy "Comedian".
 
2003-07-20 02:50:50 AM  
And I got drunk with Lewis Black last fall, so I feel cool.

http://www.wowentertainment.com/showpictures/lewisradio.jpg
 
2003-07-20 02:54:12 AM  
J'aime Monsiour Jerry Lewis. Il est un grand derriere.
 
2003-07-20 02:58:59 AM  
so funny things are only meant to be enjoyed at a certain rate, or by a certain number of people? really need to do something about this farking problem.
 
2003-07-20 03:10:27 AM  
Just wanna add that Dennis Miller's shtick has gotten old, and stand-up isn't his particular forte...but there was one he was excellent at. I maintain was the best weekend update anchor ever!
I agree with many who say Letterman's show was funny in the 80's, as was Leno in those days. Both are not very funny now. Conan's good, but give me John Stewart, he kicks all their asses! How does that ass Kilborn have a network show and not Stewart; actually maybe that's for the best, Politically Incorrect got horribly unfunny when it moved to ABC.

oh, and nobody mentioned Joe Piscopo?! He was horribly unfunny.
 
2003-07-20 03:40:57 AM  
I listen to Lewis Black every mornign at work to get myself motivated to deal with corporate hell.
 
2003-07-20 03:53:10 AM  
Props too all of you that metion Dane Cook on your "Good list"

He is the best thing since sliced bread and sliced bread two electric bogaloo.
 
2003-07-20 04:05:44 AM  
After hearing about Bill Hicks, I think I'd better listen to his stuff out, and then re-evalutate my opinion of Leary.
Who knew? Well, besides everybody who mentioned him. :-)
 
2003-07-20 04:39:31 AM  
The three that come to mind most immediately for me are Judy Tenuta, Howie Mandel, and Joy Behar.
 
2003-07-20 04:45:31 AM  
DAT PHAN!!!!! *if anyone knows who I'm talking about, kudos*
 
2003-07-20 04:51:29 AM  
This list is bogus from the start. Ernest P. Worrell is a character ... not a comedian! And any list of awful comedians without Yahoo Serious is obviously flawed.
 
2003-07-20 04:54:40 AM  
Gallagher is an American hero damnit.

And Andrew Dice Clay is much much worse than the others above him.

Emo not on the list? That list is full of shiat.
 
2003-07-20 05:26:56 AM  
So I guess its safe to say
FARKERS LOVE CARROT TOP

/runs for cover
 
2003-07-20 06:06:50 AM  
[image from mediaservice.photoisland.com too old to be available]

Mine, so vote!! Oh, wait...
 
2003-07-20 06:18:48 AM  
WHAT?!?!

No votes for THIS dipshiat?
 
2003-07-20 06:40:36 AM  
Sam Kinneson was god. Listen to his bit about Jesus being married and try not to laugh. Hell, I'm religious and I crack up at this bit. I too will have to listen to some Hicks and re-evaluate Leary. But the whole Busket scene in Suicide Kings kills me everytime. And Martin Lawrence sucks teh ass. 'It's funny, 'cause I'm black!' And I had to sit through a Cho DVD. She is pretty awful.
 
2003-07-20 07:33:17 AM  
I'm convinced LENO is a closet homosexual. The guy can't go 2 min without making some derogatory comment about being gay. Oh, and he's as unfunny as a punch in the face.
 
2003-07-20 08:03:07 AM  
How could the Dice-Man be on this list??? HOW!!!!

[image from koam.com too old to be available]
 
2003-07-20 08:19:08 AM  
Does anyone REALLY wanna hear this moo-cow talk about how she's such a slut?

[image from planetout.com too old to be available]

/off to wash my eyes
 
2003-07-20 09:19:35 AM  
One word. Bania.
 
2003-07-20 09:24:27 AM  
[image from girltech.com too old to be available]
 
2003-07-20 10:03:37 AM  
wantedman : Its Red Skelton....not Skeleton.
 
2003-07-20 10:32:45 AM  
Bessame peace, I feel the same way.

MetaPhyzix, you should meet my pal Otto's_Jacket, a resident of Aurora like minded individual.
 
2003-07-20 10:41:09 AM  
I gotta agree with Tim Allen being one of the worst, but Jeff Foxworthy should be on that list too....

Some of my favs:
George Carlin
The Amazing Jonathan
Dave Attell
Lewis Black
Nick Dipalo
Bill Hicks
Chris Rock
 
2003-07-20 10:57:05 AM  
Emo's damned funny. His old persona could be irritating (he's changed it over the past few years) but he has said some brilliant things. Even if he was once married to Judy Tenuta (who, at least, detested Roseanne and beat on her constantly).
 
2003-07-20 11:01:09 AM  
Oh, and The Amazing Johnathan made me p1ss myself the first time I saw him.
 
2003-07-20 11:02:55 AM  
Conan is the king of comedy.
 
2003-07-20 11:08:22 AM  
Fark you all. Judy Tenuta's friggin' hilarious.

This list should consist of every comedian whos stepped behind a microphone since 1994. Stand up Comedy's renaissance was in the 1980's. Everyone today's got the same old schtick, and it ain't funny.

My ten worst:

10. Gallagher
9. Paul Rodriguez
8. Paul Reiser
7. The recent George Carlin (Post 1990)
6. Whoopi Goldberg
5. Andrew Dice Clay (That got old really quickly)
4. Yakov Smirnoff
3. Tim Allen
2. Wierd Al Yankovic
1. Jeff Foxworthy (Yet another schtick that got old fast)
 
2003-07-20 11:10:11 AM  
Crap.. I forgot ADAM SANDLER. He's so bad he deserves a list of his own.
 
2003-07-20 11:12:54 AM  
2003-07-20 12:56:30 AM RaoulDuke

You are absolutely right. Andy Kaufman was a genius. I first saw him on an an old SNL where he stands next to a small record player playing the Mighty Mouse theme song. He stands there doing nothing until "Here I come to save the day!" which he lip syncs dramatically. It's so stoopid, but hilarious. It helps if you've been drinking all evening.
 
2003-07-20 11:31:09 AM  
I saw Bill Maher on HBO last night. Glad I wasn't in the audience, because I would have been unable to muster up the sympathy laughs. The rest of my family that watched it with me fell asleep 10 minutes into it.
 
2003-07-20 12:05:33 PM  
I'd definitely replace #7 (Tim Allen) with Dave Chapelle.
 
2003-07-20 12:07:28 PM  
"Denis Leary is an unoriginal fark....he even mocked Bill Hicks death from pancreatic cancer in the name of his album "no cure for cancer". I used to think he was funny, then I grew up. fark Leary."

He was talking about John Wayne, you idiot. 'As soon as we find the cure to cancer, we'll thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pissed off. Have you every had a cold shower? Well multiply that by a million and that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be.'
 
2003-07-20 12:12:30 PM  
ComaToast I saw Andy Kaufman once on late night TV, where all he did was read, I don't know, The Great Gatsby, maybe. Very dull, very unfunny, but, the audience followed along with every word, occasionally twittering with nervous laughter, waiting for the punchline that never came. When the crowd started getting impatient, he yelled at them, and started reading silently. And they waited quietly, nervous laughter dancing throughout the hall every few minutes.

I still don't get the point, but I have to admit, he had the audience enraptured, afraid to miss a thing, and having no clue that they were being played for his amusement.
 
2003-07-20 12:15:02 PM  
No mention of Pablo Francisco?

"Hey hey, you ever see this one?" (begins to bound back and forth) "I came up with the idea by smoking a lot of pot. I slid across my linoleum floor to get some Cap'n Crunch and thats how I came up with the Lazy shiat!"
Or how could you ever forget "Little Tortilla Boy"...

PS: Colin Quinn blows.
 
2003-07-20 12:35:32 PM  
No. NOTHING is as bad as Carrot Top. He is, hands down, the most unfunny man that ever lived. He's worse than that stupid uncle who thinks he's funny after drinking all afternoon and then spends the evening corraling you in a corner and telling you stupid jokes until you feign hearty laughter and then, while his head is tipped backwards laughing at his jokes, you slip behind him and run to the nearest bathroom until he finds another target.
 
2003-07-20 12:54:26 PM  
Glad to see somebody finally mentioned Paul Rodriguez. How did this guy's career last so long? He still pops up on TV occasionally. Also, Judy Tenuda is just plain stupid. She has a monotone whiny screaming voice, and never says anything funny. Jon Henson was the best host on Talk Soup. That smirk let you know something good was coming. What happened to him, anyway? There's so many bad comedians--too many to list--but at least Yakov Smirnoff ended up in Branson, where he belongs.
 
2003-07-20 12:59:23 PM  
FRKBOY: Some of the guest comedians on that show are funny. Norton is hilarious - see him live and try not to laugh.

Agreed, brianewart. Jim Norton is about the only guy around who gets laughs with anything he says, almost every time. His laugh-to-groan ratio is about 95% to 5%, which is the direct opposite of almost everyone out there today.

Worst comediation breathing? Rich Vos!
 
2003-07-20 01:06:56 PM  
I'm sure someone "significant" is perusing this ever increasing list that has pull. The fact that Carrot Top has been mentioned myriad times here, perhaps, stands to reason why he's doin' a collect call commercial. Quit broaching him, and he'll go away: it's a farking paradox. I like Carrot Top because of his annoyance. The last time I saw him on t.v. ( I believe it was the x-mas season), he was actually being quite politically incorrect, which makes him even funnier and annoying.
 
2003-07-20 01:09:33 PM  
Everyone else has chimed in so why not me as well.
To everyone bashing Colin Quinn, I used to agree with you, and while he has some trouble with actual delivery, if you've seen him on Tough Call he's hilarious.
The best though are still:
Bill Hicks
Jeffrey Ross
David Cross (possibly the best stand-up CD since Bill Hicks died)
Sarah Silverman
Jon Stewart
Conan O'brien
Robin Williams (Saw him live on the recent tour and it was amazing)
 
2003-07-20 01:42:45 PM  
 
2003-07-20 02:53:07 PM  
I think the general FaRK feeling is in - Carrottop is at the top of the bad pile and Bill Hicks is at the top of the genius pile.

RIP Bill.
 
2003-07-20 03:00:46 PM  
Despite the fact that I have nothing in common with the author of this article, or his generation, I found myself agreeing with everything he said... ESPECIALLY his choice for the # 1 position.

The fact that Leno (& his corporate-approved humor) has become the top-rated comedian in the US is perhaps the saddest comment you can make about this culture. But don't listen to me, as a child I lost my mind when I overdosed on Jonathon Winters.
 
2003-07-20 03:07:31 PM  
Two-cents:
George carlin = GOD
Chris Rock = Hilarious and topical
John Stewart = Conan can't hold a candle to him, Conan is funny, but Stewart is brilliant. Conan + Andy, maybe

I highly suggest listening to a comic called Sean Cullen (May remeber from Corky and the Juice Pigs). His stand-up is brilliant. Unfortunately, the CBC gave him a sitcom that was probably the worst television show of all time, but check him out.

BTW, Dice is an ass-clown.
 
Ade
2003-07-20 03:21:06 PM  
Jeremy Hotz is hilarious. Not verbatim sum up of some of his material:

I got some of those maxi-pads in the mail the other day. Used 'em as coffee filters.
The garbageman must think I have a horrible disease.

The Canadian Army.. oh what a joke that is. They don't even have guns! 275 years without any wars. We should go invade Turkey. Call it Chicken. No one would see that coming!

He has this nervous twitch. farking hilarious.
 
2003-07-20 04:51:56 PM  
Colin Quin does NOT suck. He's a marble mouth sometimes, but he is clever and insightful.

Sam Kinnison was not just a screamer...there is an energy there and a vicious humor that was far different from that idiot Dice.

Mitch Hedgberg is great. And one of the best "newer" comedians around: that chinless zilch - lil' Jimmy Norton.
 
2003-07-20 06:07:42 PM  
Ade,

lol, I have one his shows taped. The coffee filter joke made me pee my pants. Ok, not really but it was funny.
 
2003-07-20 06:13:41 PM  
JAY LENO OWNS YOU
 
2003-07-20 06:55:17 PM  
Leno is milk toast.

So is most of America.

No wonder he wins in the ratings.

Most people want familiarity and comfort.
 
2003-07-20 07:21:09 PM  
There's no way Richard Belzar shouldn't have topped this list..

The guy who wrote this article was full of shiat for the most part, but right own target in some areas as well.

AK
 
2003-07-20 07:57:40 PM  
George Carlin is god, yes that is the honest truth. I think "Killer Carlin" is the only album of his that wasn't pure comedic genius.

All Hail George!!!
 
2003-07-20 09:06:54 PM  
Take Gallagher off and replace him with Ellen Degeneres. Then move Carrot Top to #1 and you've got your list. These people can take a perfectly funny room and suck all the humor out of it... I mean all the humor the room could have ever had until the end of eternity.
 
2003-07-20 09:18:08 PM  
1)Jim Breuer 2)Jim Breuer 3)Jim Breuer 4)Jim Breuer
 
2003-07-20 09:51:02 PM  
Disparity.

Half of you place Dave Chapelle on worst list and half on the best list.

Def Comedy Jam is overrated btw. Some of it is good but most is crap. Lewis Black gets so angry it scares me
 
2003-07-20 09:53:25 PM  
I must be the only one old enough to remember Shelley Berman...the funniest clean comedian ever!

Don Rickles rules, too!
 
2003-07-21 02:38:23 AM  
Bill Hicks > *. Also, mad props to David Cross. I haven't laughed so hard since Bill Hicks.
 
2003-07-21 12:09:30 PM  
Not a true comedian, but I vote for Jim Carrey.
 
2003-07-22 01:40:44 AM  
I can't believe that this freak hasn't made anyone's worst list:

[image from qfm96.com too old to be available]
 
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  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

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