If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SNPP)   What is the funniest moment/quote from The Simpsons? Voting enabled   (snpp.com) divider line 824
    More: Survey  
•       •       •

13505 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 2:05 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



824 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | » | Last | Show all
 
2003-07-19 05:29:21 PM
Troy McClure: Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
 
2003-07-19 05:29:37 PM
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/5F09

There are so many deep jokes in this one. But some of my favourite exchanges are there:

They have that whole "committee thinking" part at the beginning, a la "Poochy"

"Ow, ow, stupid trash, rotten, stinky, hate world, revenge soon, take out on everyone..."

"You heard me, you trash-eating stinkbags?
What did you call us?
Uhh, A lot of people were yelling stuff.
Good news Marge. I got in a fight with the garbagemen, and they're cutting off our service."

"No room for you, Jello"

"And to think, you wanted me to crawl, Marge. Well, this man doesn't crawl, he stands tall, that rhymes, Marge, and you know it rhymes, admit it!"

"Out of the way, Kojack"

"Sorry I'm late, someone cut my brakes.
Then you should have been early."

"Do we want old man Patterson here with his finger on the button?
I'm only 2 years older than you!
Ooh, where am I? What am I doing, where's my hearing aid?"

"You're going to crash and burn my fat-headed friend.
See? I told you we were friends. Give us a cuddle."

Rod and Todd are buring their bunny, talking about it going up to heaven, and its decaying body pops out of the ground.

I just love that episode. Everyone hates it, maybe if people knew all of the deep jokes they'd like it more. It's got a lot of stuff crammed into it, but I love it on several levels. I hope everyone enjoyed the topic, and mods, thanks for approving and elite-mrp thanks for giving me the idea. I've had a blast reminiscing over this stuff as I read the thread.
 
2003-07-19 05:30:16 PM
 
2003-07-19 05:30:19 PM
Best. Quote. Ever



(Homer is throwing peanuts in the air and catching them with his mouth, one falls under the couch. Homer has his hand under the couch trying to find it)

Homer (just before throwing the last peanut and gets under the couch): "aawwww the last peanut, dripping with salt and oil of its departed bearthen"

(starts looking under couch)

Homer: "eeewwww slimy"
Homer: "hairy"
Homer: "ALIVE!!"
Homer: "ooohhh 20 dollars, i wanted a peanut"
Homer's brain: "Quiet fool, 20 dollars can buy many peanuts
Homer: "Explain how"
Homer's brain: "money can be exchanged for goods and services"
 
2003-07-19 05:31:05 PM
Wananah--It wasn't Ned who was killed, it was Maude...hello.
 
2003-07-19 05:32:15 PM
Approx:

Since the beginning of time man has yearned to destroy the sun.

Give the fools their tar-tar sauce.
 
2003-07-19 05:33:47 PM
Not a quote but a halloween episode when homer is at a marketplace in the desert and an old man is selling a hand that grants wishes and he buys it. Then he buys it and tells marge and she says from who and he says that guy over there and then it shows a brisk of wind and then he says oh wait no over there. im probably messing it up sorry
 
2003-07-19 05:37:59 PM
In the episode where Lisa meets Malibu Stacy and they make the Lisa doll:

Smithers turns on his computer, and a computerized Burns comes on and says "Smithers, you're so great at turning me on"
 
2003-07-19 05:38:52 PM
Cletus: "Hey you know what? I could cawl my Ma while I'm up heyre....HEY MA GIT OFF THE DANG ROOF!!"

and

Exchanges between Mr. Burns and Don Mattingly in the softball episode.

(apologies to whomever posted these already)
 
2003-07-19 05:39:04 PM
mmmmm Gummy Demilo
 
2003-07-19 05:39:50 PM
Approx:

comic book guy: (reading comic book while walking down street) but aqua-man you can't marry a woman without gills, you're from two different worlds. (see's nuclear missle heading straight for him) oh i've wasted my life.

ralph: when i grow up, i want to go to bovine university
 
2003-07-19 05:40:00 PM
Bart: I'm so hungry i could eat at Arbys
Milhouse: man you are hungry
 
2003-07-19 05:42:04 PM
Correcting two previously quoted quotes, don't mind me:

"Duffman can never die! Only the actors who potray him!"
and
Press dude: Is it true you're Hindu?
Apu: By the many arms of Vishnu I swear it is a lie!
 
2003-07-19 05:42:21 PM
I'm a big fan of brain references. Examples:

[Bart and Homer have been tricked into believing they have leprosy. The duo go to the Flanders for assistance and scratch and paw at the door, shove their hands into the mail slot in the manner of "Night of the Living Dead" zombies.]

Homer and Bart (zombie like voices): Brains, braaaaaains!

Homer (normal voice): Use you brains to help us.

Homer (zombie voiece): Your delicious brains.

--------

[Smithers and Mr. Burns return to Springfield after a visit to the Mayo Clinic]

Burns: Sorry about the eggs in your brain. How many did it lay?

Smithers: I'd rather not know. Frankly, one is too many.

----------

[Treehouse of Horror. Mr. Burns is trying to create the perfect employee by transplanting Homer's brain into a robot body.]

Burns (to Smithers): This isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery. Hand me that ice cream scoop.
 
2003-07-19 05:43:58 PM
Apu (to Reverend Lovejoy): There are 600 million Hindus in the world.
Rev. Lovejoy: Awww, that's super!

And,

Apu (to Homer): Please do not be feeding my god peanuts!
 
2003-07-19 05:44:40 PM
Mr. Burns: "Simpson, I want to be loved."

Homer: "I see .....I'll need some beer."
 
2003-07-19 05:45:28 PM
Homer: "Your goldfish are dead."
Disco Stu: "I know, there's no way to get them out of there."
 
2003-07-19 05:45:30 PM
[Marge has broken her leg and Homer talks to the ambulance drivers to arrange for a hospital]

Homer: I want my wife to have the best care money can buy.

[Ambulance marquee scrolls to "Hospital Beth Israel"]

Homer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not go nuts!

[Marquee scrolls to "St. Mary's"]

Homer: Better than that.

[Marquee scrolls to "Springfield Presbyterian"]

Homer: Perfect.
 
2003-07-19 05:45:46 PM
Homer: "To start, press any key...which one's the 'any' key?

Groundskeeper Willy: "Bonjourrrr...you cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys"

Homer: "If you don't like your job, you don't strike; you just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the american way"

Homer: "Anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there..."
 
2003-07-19 05:45:52 PM
Most of my favorites have been used but here's one.

Homer (to bart) I'm intrigued by your views and wish to subscribe to your newsletter
 
2003-07-19 05:45:53 PM
I think this is from the "Flaming Moe's" episode:

Marge: Well Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.

Homer: Oooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happyland! In a gumdrop house on Lollypop Laaaaane!
(slams door, then sticks head back in)
Oh by the way, I was being sarcastic.
 
2003-07-19 05:46:05 PM
"The rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt."

"Scanning for sarcasm... It's CLEAN!!"

"Don't panic, it's just birds, you don't control the birds, at least not yet."

"Wait, wait... when are the pancakes coming in the mail?"
 
2003-07-19 05:46:33 PM
[Marge has broken her leg and Homer talks to the ambulance drivers to arrange for a hospital]

Homer: I want my wife to have the best care money can buy.

[Ambulance marquee scrolls to "Hospital Beth Israel"]

Homer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not go nuts!

[Marquee scrolls to "St. Mary's"]

Homer: Better than that.

[Marquee scrolls to "Springfield Presbyterian"]

Homer: Perfect.

Note: If you thought I'd mastered the whole "add this comment to voting" thing, think again.
 
2003-07-19 05:46:46 PM
George Harrison (holding a brownie): Hello Homer, I'm George Harrison.
Homer: OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!! Where'd you get that brownie?!
George: Over there, there's a big pile of them.
(Homer runs over and starts stuffing brownies in his mouth)
George (watching): Gee, what a nice fellow.
 
2003-07-19 05:48:27 PM
Best. Quote. Ever



(Homer is throwing peanuts in the air and catching them with his mouth, one falls under the couch. Homer has his hand under the couch trying to find it)

Homer (just before throwing the last peanut and gets under the couch): "aawwww the last peanut, dripping with salt and oil of its departed bearthen"

(starts looking under couch)

Homer: "eeewwww slimy"
Homer: "hairy"
Homer: "ALIVE!!"
Homer: "ooohhh 20 dollars, i wanted a peanut"
Homer's brain: "Quiet fool, 20 dollars can buy many peanuts
Homer: "Explain how"
Homer's brain: "money can be exchanged for goods and services"



now with voting!
 
2003-07-19 05:48:30 PM
Hi! I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot."
 
2003-07-19 05:48:35 PM
Homer, Bart, and the rest of the Simpson men running into each other with pots on their heads always cracks me up...

Bart: "You mean I'm going to be a failure?"
Homer: "Yes, son. A spectacular one."
 
2003-07-19 05:49:20 PM
Bart: "Look the snow's melting!"
Martin: *tastes snow water* "With a little help from our friend Sodium Chloride!"
*Nelson beats the crap out of Martin*
 
2003-07-19 05:50:43 PM
Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such movies as 'Cry, Yuma' and 'Here Comes the Coast Guard'! But today I'd like to tell you about a pleasant-tasting candy that actually cleans and straightens your teeth!
 
2003-07-19 05:50:47 PM
"Well, fad or not its here to stay."
 
2003-07-19 05:51:43 PM
[Eliciting a pledge of honesty from the youth of the Church, Reverand Lovejoy bids the children repeat after him]:

If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coal and drink naught but burning hot cola...where my soul with be ripped into shreds and strewn like confetti over a parade of murderers and single mothers...
 
2003-07-19 05:52:02 PM
the who shot mr. burns episode and principal skinner is in the bathroom putting on his disguise.

skinner- "Oh no, I musta taken mother's make-up kit instead!"

chalmers- "Oh I'm sorry ma'am, I didn't know anyone was in here."

skinner- "Superintedent Chalmers!"

chalmers- "Oh my god...."
 
2003-07-19 05:52:06 PM
Troy McClure: "That's too funny! I can't remember when I've heard a funnier anecdote! Now you tell one."

Moe: "I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"

Homer: "The girls of the internet...mmmm...I could go online with them any day!"

Milhouse: "Step over this line and say that! I'll kick your butt...at nintendo..."
 
2003-07-19 05:56:44 PM
Anytime I bowl, this conversation is repeated...

Carl: Hey Homer, what wacky name do you want?
Homer: Are 'Poo' and 'Ass' taken?
Carl: Yea.
Homer: Damnit. Could my life get any worse!?
 
2003-07-19 05:58:17 PM
Wow...some excellent ones...surprised some of these didn't make it...

"Things are comin' up Milhouse!"-I actually use that one pretty often in regular conversation

"Grease me up, woman!"-Willie to Lunch Lady Doris as he rips off his shirt to climb through the AC ducts to get Santa's Little Helper

"Disco Stu doesn't NEED to advertise"-after a rhinestone-studded "DISCO STU" denim jacket is found at a garage sale

"You have a tattoo that says, 'DIE, BART, DIE'." "No, that's German for, 'THE, BART, THE'."-Sideshow Bob on trial (sorry Cure4Cancer)

...and the entire Stonecutters song...who made Steve Guttenberg...a star?
 
2003-07-19 05:58:23 PM
Sign: Nuke the Wales
Lisa: You don't really believe that do you?
Nelson: Gotta nuke somthing.
 
2003-07-19 06:00:40 PM
Marge: Bart, did you trick an Australian boy into accepting a $900
collect call?
Bart: Yes, 'm.
Homer: [looking at globe] Hmm, there it is: Aus-tra-li-a. I'll be
damned. [spins globe, laughs] Look at this country! ["Uruguay"]
U-R-Gay. [laughs]
-- Homer, phonetic reader, "Bart vs. Australia"
 
2003-07-19 06:00:44 PM
Homer: "Okay...last question: Who is your favorite BackStreet Boy?"
Lenny: "Ooh! The little rat-faced one!"
Carl: "No, no, no...Nick! He's so good to his mother."
Homer: "According to this, you're both idiots."
Lenny: "Thanks! What do we owe you?"
 
2003-07-19 06:03:23 PM
Dear God, I piss myself every time I see this episode. The one where Bart falls in love with Reverend Lovejoy's daughter.

[Sunday morning at front door of church]

Lisa- Now remember Bart, you must be strong today. You must not fall into Jessica's hands and do her evil.
Bart- No worries Lisa, I will not even look at her today.

[heavenly "female" voice singing floats through doors]

Lisa- Bart, you must not go to her!
Bart- oh Lisa, it's too late. I'm in her hands now.

[he huuries ahead to see "Jessica" siging. Finds Ned Flanders is singing]

Bart- Euuugghhhhh
 
2003-07-19 06:03:29 PM
Stan Lee: He can't be the hulk, I'm the hulk!
*Sturggles to change*
I swear I saw bill Bixby do this once!

Comic book guy:I only wish you had the power to leave my store.
 
2003-07-19 06:03:30 PM
Bart to Homer "Theres your answer fishbulb"
 
2003-07-19 06:05:26 PM
*homer at gun shop pointing an empty gun at owners face and pulling the trigger really fast*

Owner: whoa, careful there annie oakley
homer: i dan't have to be careful, i've got a gun
owner:well you'll probly want the accessory kit, holster, scilencer, loudener, bandaler, speedcaulker
homer: oh i like the sound of that
owner: and this one here is for shooting down police helocopters
Homer: i don't need anything like that......yet. just give me my gun
owner: sorry the law requires a five day waiting period, we've got to run a backround check.
homer:aww five days?! but im mad now. *sinister voice* id kill you if i had my gun
owner: yeah, well you don't
 
2003-07-19 06:05:31 PM
HOMER: Little lisa's dead forever and there's no way to bring her back...unless?
LISA: Dad, I'm alive.
HOMER: Oh praise the lord, lisa's not dead...unless?
 
2003-07-19 06:06:19 PM
"Worst...episode...ever..."

Comic Book Guy while in the hospital after being told he has just had a cardiac episode.
 
2003-07-19 06:06:30 PM
"Welcome to the Chocolate Factory. I'm Troy McClure! You probably remember me from such films as `The Revenge of Abe Lincoln', and `The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West'."
 
2003-07-19 06:08:39 PM
The one where Homer says he is changing Marge's name to Chesty LaRue, Busty St. Claire or Hooty McBoob...
 
2003-07-19 06:09:09 PM
Chief Wiggum : "Think you can get this car home safely?"
Barney: "Sure thing giant beer!"
 
2003-07-19 06:10:01 PM
Homer (multiple episodes, still never fails to make me laugh: "I'm down!"
 
2003-07-19 06:12:09 PM
Lisa: "What are you going to bring us for dinner?"

Homer: "If you were good, pizza; if you were bad, poison"

Bart: "What about if one of us was good and one of us was bad? Poison Pizza?"

Homer: "Uh-uh, I'm not making two stops."
 
2003-07-19 06:12:14 PM
I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such movies as ``Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die'' and ``Gladys the Groovy Mule''!
 
Displayed 50 of 824 comments

First | « | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report