Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SNPP)   What is the funniest moment/quote from The Simpsons? Voting enabled   ( ) divider line
    More: Survey  
•       •       •

13520 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 2:05 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

823 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

2003-07-19 04:02:52 PM  
Bart in the cafeteria..
(snap) oh, my bones are so brittle...why? I've been drinking plenty of.....MALK???????
2003-07-19 04:03:24 PM  
Missionary: First of all, forget everything you learned in missionary school
Homer: Done.
2003-07-19 04:03:43 PM  
Here's your problem. Someone set this thing to evil.
2003-07-19 04:04:54 PM  
How come no mention of Milhouse's first romance?

It started like Romeo and Juliet and ended in tragedy...
2003-07-19 04:06:11 PM  
Best song:

"Mr. Plow, that is my name...that name again is Mr. Plow."
2003-07-19 04:07:24 PM  
Homer: Ill draw bunnies on the electricity sockets to scare maggie away.
Marge: Maggie isnt afraid of bunnies.
>Homer starts punching his has with his fist slowlypig goes in riverpig gets stuck in a damn and flies outMr burns and smithers laugh, then see the airborne pig fly right by their window<
Mr Burns: Id still rather not make that donation.
2003-07-19 04:07:38 PM  
Lisa as Joan of Arc: God said that I must lead france to victory.
Homer: Victory, hummpp we're french we don't even have a word for it.
2003-07-19 04:10:07 PM  
Homer on an island making natives civilized by making them a casino

Bart on phone: Dad, are you liking frogs again?
Homer with dialated eyes: Im not not liking frogs!


the episode where lisa converts to buddism
and Homer wont accept it
Homer: Now as long as in your my house you'll do what
I say!! Now butter your bacon!!
Bart: But dad, my heart hurts.
Homer: Do it!


the episode where lisa is Joan of Arc and Grounds keeper willy is a scotish man.

God is a witness in court case.
Lisa: God, didn't you tell me to save france?
Grounds Keeper Willy: I thought you told me to save britain!
Lisa: God, is this true?
God: Umm, the thing is I never thought you two would ever be in the same room. Umm, Gotta go!
2003-07-19 04:10:09 PM  
out of my way JERK ASS!
2003-07-19 04:12:49 PM  
It's not a quote - but the Halloween episode where they spoof Harry Potter and Bart changes his frog into a horrible mutated frog/prince thing that starts puking everywhere....that one makes me pee my pants everytime.
2003-07-19 04:13:36 PM  
If ya see anything moving its just the freshness!
2003-07-19 04:16:21 PM  
comic book guy eating 100 Peeps marshmallow chicks:

98, 99, 100. if only the real chicks went down that easy...
2003-07-19 04:16:58 PM  
" have selected 'regicide.' If you know the name of the king or queen curently being murdered, please press one.."
2003-07-19 04:17:06 PM  
Flanders: Well I'm not really qualified...
Kirk VanHouten: Someone else!
(crowd): Someone else! Someone else! Someone else!
Homer: Wait a minute, I'm someone else!
Lenny: He's right!
Homer: We need a doer, not a thinker. Someone who will act without considering the consiquences.
2003-07-19 04:18:57 PM  
My favorite is the one where bart and lisa are adopted by the hillbilly family and renames them.
Hillbilly guy: Whats your names?
Bart and Lisa: Bart and lisa
HillBilly guy: Themses city names from now on your dangus squatfurd jr. and Pam Lee
2003-07-19 04:19:15 PM  
Lenny: Geez Homer, I would have thought a guy with two wives would be happy.
Carl: No, you're thinking of someone with two knives.
Moe: (standing with two knives) I gotta tell ya, this is pretty terrific. hahaha YEA!

The shot of Moe holding the knives is priceless...
2003-07-19 04:20:01 PM  
Ralph: Principal Skinner and Mrs. Crobopple were in the closet making babies and one of them popped on and looked at me!
2003-07-19 04:20:04 PM  
From the chalkboard at the beginning of an episode (not entirely sure which one):
I won't not use no double negatives.
2003-07-19 04:23:41 PM  
My 2 Favorite quotes of all time on these simpsons.

Smithers: John!
John: Uhh, oh, Waylon! I'd like you to meet the Simpsons!
Smithers: I know the Simpsons. [sotto voce] So this is your sick mother?
John: Don't do this to me, Waylon.
From Episode 4F11 'Homer's Phobia' Season 8, Aired Feb 16, 1997

Marge: Homer? Homey? Hmm...[notices typewriter] What he's typed will
be a window into his madness.
[reads it] "Feelin' fine". Woah! That's a relief.
[lightning strikes, revealing "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" scribbled all over the walls]
Mmm...this is less encouraging --
Homer: [bursting in] Hello!
Marge: Aah!
Homer: So what do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of "No TV and No Beer Make Homer" something something.
Marge: [timid] "Go Crazy"?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!
From Episode 2F03 'Treehouse of Horrors V' Season 6, Aired Oct 30, 1994
2003-07-19 04:25:28 PM  
Moments? Then I'll throw my favorite song into the mix: "Amendment to Be."

[image from too old to be available]

[Little Boy] Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?
[Amendment] I'm not garbage
I'm an amendment to be
Yes, an amendment to be
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me
There's a lot of flag-burners who have got too much freedom
I want to make it legal for policemen to beat 'em
'Cause there's limits to our liberties
At least, I hope and pray that there are
'Cause those liberal freaks go too far
[Little Boy] But why can't we just make a law against flag burning?
[Amendment] Because that law would be unconstitutional
But if we change the constitution -
[Little Boy] - Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
[Amendment] Now you're catching on!
[Little Boy] But what if they say you're not good enough to be in the constitution?
[Amendment] Then I'll crush all opposition to me!
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay
[Congressman] Good news, amendment! They ratified you!
You're in the US Constitution!
[Amendment] Oh, yeah! Door's open, boys!
2003-07-19 04:26:16 PM  

"I Wasn't Sleeping, I Was Drunk!"
2003-07-19 04:26:40 PM  
Darn it - it's already been posted. I should've finished the thread. A vote for me is a vote for SecretAgentWoman.
2003-07-19 04:26:47 PM  
(Paraphrased) Homer and Marge are arguing.

Homer (points to ceiling): Shh, Marge! God will hear you.

Marge: That's not God. That's a pancake that got stuck to the ceiling.

Homer (staring at pancake): Mmmmmm! Sacri-licious.
2003-07-19 04:27:09 PM  
"Oh Margie,
you came and you brought me a turkey
on my vacation aaaaway from workey."
I think that quote is from when Homer goes to the nuclear convention with Mindy.


(in the elevator with Mindy)"Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts," (Thinks of barney in a string bikini and Patti and Selma shaving legs)

"Oh, this must be my stop" (hits the emergency elevator button)(jumps off of the elevator) "See you tomorrow!!!"

"MMMmmmmm forbidden donut"

Bart:"I'll sell my soul for a formula 1 race car."
Flanders as the devil:"That can be arrange...."
Marge:Bart! Stop pestering the devil"
Flanders as the devil:"Aww."

"Hey everybody!"
"Hi Dr. Nick!"
2003-07-19 04:27:42 PM  
I'd Still rather have him chasing me than the Wolfman
2003-07-19 04:28:01 PM  
2003-07-19 04:28:15 PM  
2003-07-19 04:29:21 PM  
[4F03] The Homer They Fall

Moe: All right, Homer, I'm not gonna lie to you. There's a good chance you can beat Tatum. But you gotta visualize how you're gonna win, okay?

Homer: Gotcha.

[dreams on about his victory]

Announcer: A congenital heart defect has apparently felled Tatum moments before he could step into the ring.
2003-07-19 04:30:36 PM  
When the cranyon stuck into Homer's brain got removed and he suddenly got very smart. Towards the end of the show he goes to Moe for an illegal operation: to re-insert the cranyon into his brain thru his nose. As Moe kept hammering the cranyon, Homer kept saying dumber and dumber things. His last two:

1. De-fense. Hoo-hoo
2. Extended warranty? How could I lose?
2003-07-19 04:30:46 PM  

My personal fave, Stupid Sexy Flanders

Personally, I think that would be the best band name ever!
2003-07-19 04:31:12 PM  
Editor: Hey listen, I just had a thought. We're looking for a new
food critic. Someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh
everything he eats.
Homer: No, it usually takes a few hours.
2003-07-19 04:33:24 PM  
Ay, donde esta mi tequila?
2003-07-19 04:35:37 PM  
Janeane Garaffalo (sp?): Well im making out with this guy with a toungue ring, and you know how that is...

Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... pistol whip.
2003-07-19 04:36:00 PM  
From the episode "Triolgy of Error," the Run Lola Run parody:

Lisa is late for the science fair with Linguo the grammar bot, and accidentialy goes to West Springfield Elementary, running into a French class.

All the kids laugh: Ha ha ha ha.
[Teacher] En franais!
All the kids laugh: Hohn hohn hohn hohn.
2003-07-19 04:36:42 PM  
'Go banana!"
2003-07-19 04:37:27 PM  
For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle!
2003-07-19 04:37:29 PM  
poochie: and remember kids, always recycle...TO THE EXTREME!

lionel hutz: well I lost your case so your pizza is free.
marge: but you won our case!
lionel hutz: that's ok...the box is empty!

Lou: signs floatin' away, chief.

and my favorite...
homer taking a bath...bart enters and smashes a chair over homers back...
Bart: geeez, pretty standard stunt, Homer.
2003-07-19 04:37:35 PM  
Smithers: I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir. Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre.

Burns: I ought to club them and eat their BONES!
2003-07-19 04:38:33 PM  
Marge: Homer! Women won't like being shot in the face!

Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like!

Episode where Homer tries to "out-invent" Edison. Comedy gold
2003-07-19 04:38:39 PM  
Larry Flynt's right!
2003-07-19 04:39:04 PM  
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a Zombie!?
2003-07-19 04:39:35 PM  
"What a crazy language! Inflammable means flammable!"

-Dr. Nick just after his office burned down
2003-07-19 04:40:43 PM  
There are just so many good ones. But the #1 in my mind has to be the entire Monorail song sequence. If there is anyone who has seen this episode can think of the word "monorail" and NOT think of that song, I haven't met them yet.

#2 is the "See My Vest" song. I've gotta agree with Puckhead!
2003-07-19 04:40:56 PM  
Homer: Thanks a lot for helping me build my rockets you nerds, how will i ever repay you?
Nerds: You can start by not calling us nerds.
Homer walks over to the rocket
Homer: Ive got something very important to say.... ALL NERDS CLEAR THE LAUNCH PAD!
2003-07-19 04:41:08 PM  
Kent: Arnie, this isn't the time or the pl....
2003-07-19 04:41:19 PM  
Homer: Chief justice of the Supreme Court. What great men he shall join? John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger....mmm....burger.
2003-07-19 04:42:54 PM  
The halloween one that deconstructed makes fun of the shining. Mr. Burns leaves homer and family in the penetrated space of the hotel with no beer or tv. Homver goes crazy, and writes 'No beer and tv make homer go crazy' on all the walls. Marge comes in the penetrated space of and homer says "No beer and tv make homer blank blank." Marge: "Go crazy?" Homer: "Don't mind if i do!" and Ted Kennedy starts running around and freaking out. Too hilarious.
2003-07-19 04:44:14 PM  
Tom Brokaw: We'll be right back with a special report on soccer moms who hate soccer.

Mr. Burns: That excellent was excellent.

Lou: This [gun] always made me feel like a man, you know. Now all I got is my enormous genitals.
2003-07-19 04:46:39 PM  
Mr. Burns:

I'm going to throw my legs behind my head and pollute my pants with delight!
2003-07-19 04:46:54 PM  
Lisa: Im tired of this, im going to my room.
Displayed 50 of 823 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.