Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SNPP)   What is the funniest moment/quote from The Simpsons? Voting enabled   ( divider line
    More: Survey  
•       •       •

13522 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 2:05 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

823 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

2003-07-19 03:35:55 PM  
aHH! i Cant Remember the Line EXACTLY, but it goes somthing like this...

::Homer is on the phone, Bart and Lisa walk in::

Homer: "Sorry, gotta go, damn weiner kids are listening"

Homer Owns!
2003-07-19 03:36:38 PM  
Willy: Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys

I love the french for their wine, women, and food. But that was just a damn funny line.
2003-07-19 03:36:59 PM  
aHH! i Cant Remember the Line EXACTLY, but it goes somthing like this...

::Homer is on the phone, Bart and Lisa walk in::

Homer: "Sorry, gotta go, damn weiner kids are listening"

Homer Owns!

VoTe! YaaY!
2003-07-19 03:38:22 PM  
Hank Scorpio:Homer, I am very proud of you. When you go home tonight, there's going to ge another story on your house!

hehe.... funny globex corp site:
2003-07-19 03:38:40 PM  
Marge: It's alright. Everybody has a fear of something.
Homer: (somewhat cockily) Not EVERYONE...
Marge: Sock puppets!
2003-07-19 03:39:04 PM  
My favorite quote is when Ned says "Heaven must be easier to get into than Arizona State."

//Recent Arizona State Graduate
2003-07-19 03:39:10 PM  
now with voting.
[image from too old to be available]

Hank Scorpio:Homer, I am very proud of you. When you go home tonight, there's going to ge another story on your house!

hehe.... funny globex corp site:
2003-07-19 03:39:11 PM  
Flander: Homer, is that my windmill on your roof?
Homer: This interview is over!

In the mall....

Marge: O Homer, theres that parrot you like to argue with!

Homer: You see thats the problem right there! You dont just have to WANT the cracker, you have to EARN the cracker!

Homer: You tried and failed miserably, the lesson is, never try.

Skinner, mrs. Crobopple, and bart are on the roof of the school after skinner and crobopple are kicked out. Theres a huge crowd of people on the grass because they locked themselves in until they were allowed the stay. Homer is given the loudspeaker to try and convince them to come out of the school...

Homer: Bart, do you know where the changer is?
Bart: Have you checked your back pocket?

Homer: Thanks

Homer: It was in my back pocket!
2003-07-19 03:40:00 PM  
The OSC company loyalty song...

"Knife-a goes in
Guts-a come out
That's what Osaka Seafood Concern is all about!"

And of course Ralph's "burning" quote is indispensable, but I like:

"The pointy kitty took it!"
2003-07-19 03:40:39 PM  
Nimitz: you beat me to it!

I can't believe no one has done this one:

Abe Simpson: I'm cold, and there are wolves after me
2003-07-19 03:40:54 PM  
1. Tomacco episode - Ralph "This tastes like Grandma." Wiggum "You're right! It does taste like Grandma!"
2. Homer crayon in brain "Flowers For Algernon" episode - Lisa "Chai tea, tai chi...".
3. Marge pretzel episode - Cletus calls his kids out by name "...Rumour, Scout..."
2003-07-19 03:41:59 PM  
From the evil island of the 'Mr. X' episode:

*random koala bear appears in the bottom-left(
*bear disappears*
2003-07-19 03:42:52 PM  
MR. BURNS: Homer, I want to be loved.
HOMER: I see ... Well ... I'll need some beer.


HOMER: I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in.


BART: So what are you going to change your name to when you grow up?
LISA: Lois Sanborn!
BART: Steve Bennett!


HOMER: WOOHOO! Cheap meat!
2003-07-19 03:43:35 PM  
Milhous-I can't play with you anymore, mom says you're a bad influence.
Bart-Bad influence, my ass! How many times have I told you not to listen to your mother!?
2003-07-19 03:43:45 PM  
I'm paraphrasing here so bear with me. Also if someone else posted this... Well, I wouldn't be surprised.

('Treehouse of horror VII' - Episode in which aliens abduct and impersonate Bill Clinton and Bob Dole.)
*Speaking before a large rally*

"Abortions for all!"
*crowd boos*
"Very well... Abortions for none!"
*crowd boos*
"Hmm... Abortions for some... Miniature American flags for others!"
*crowd cheers and applauds*
2003-07-19 03:43:51 PM  
"Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the "G"s!"
2003-07-19 03:43:57 PM  

It was Marge. I sit corrected.
2003-07-19 03:44:06 PM  
Bart: No, but here's a book called "Chicken Soup for the Loser" that gave Bill Buckner the courage to open a chain of Laundromats.
2003-07-19 03:44:33 PM  
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
- Homer Simpson

Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead.
- Homer Simpson

Trying is the first step towards failure.
- Homer Simpson

I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, The Bus That couldn't Slow Down.
- Homer Simpson

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
- Homer Simpson

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
- Homer Simpson
2003-07-19 03:45:05 PM  
"Here's your hotdog Mister! Oops! I dropped it in the grease."
2003-07-19 03:45:26 PM  
Homer: You know, I've had alot of jobs. Boxer, mascot, astronaut, immitation Krusty, baby-proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carnie, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, smithers, poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, kwik-e-mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary. But protecting Springfield, that gives me the best feeling of all.


Homer: TV raised me and I turned out TV.
2003-07-19 03:45:59 PM  
A Bart Simpson quote from a Christmas episode that has become part of my vocabulary:

"It's craptacular..."
2003-07-19 03:46:32 PM  
Milhouse to Bart about Santa's Little Helper...

Milhouse: "Remember the time he ate my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had a goldfish? Well then why did I have the bowl, Bart? WHY did I have the bowl??"

By the way - What episode is the "In america, first you get the sugar, then you get the women, then you get the power." quote from? All I can remember is that homer steals sugar from an overturned sugar truck.
2003-07-19 03:47:36 PM  
Another one:

"Our favorite show was Hollywood Hogwash; but, we also watched, The Dreck Squad..."
2003-07-19 03:48:28 PM  
The sugar truck subplot is in the episode where Lisa meets Allison, the girl who was skipped ahead a grade. (voiced by Winona Rider.)

Also contains, "My cat's breath smells like cat food." and "I bent my wookie."
2003-07-19 03:48:29 PM  
Homer demands to see the Oompa Loompa before delivering the sugar.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-07-19 03:49:18 PM  
I dont know if this was posted already.
From the epsiode where Flanders dates the movie star...

Flanders: (After being asked if he was gay) Gay? Gosh no! I dont even eat vegetables over 4 inches long!
2003-07-19 03:49:58 PM  
Hank Scorpio: (after Homer asks him for sugar, reaches in his pocket and says) Here ya go, Homer...Sorry it's not in packages...
2003-07-19 03:50:04 PM  
Flanders: "Ralph, you're on special teams"

Ralph: "I'm special!"
2003-07-19 03:50:18 PM  
"So, what'll it be, Homer?"
"Moe! Gimme a beer!"
"No. Not unless you kill your family."
"But why should I kill my family?"
"uhhhh... They'll be much happier as ghosts."
"You don't look so happy."
"Oh, I'm happy, I'm VERY happy, la-da-da-da-da-da-da, SEE? Now erase your family and I'll give you a beer."
2003-07-19 03:50:18 PM  
surprised this hasn't appeared yet:

Moe: Hey, Barney! What'll it be?
Barney: I'd like a beer, Moe!
Yoko: I'd like a single plum floating in perfume served in a man's
Moe: [reaching under bar] Here you go.
2003-07-19 03:52:19 PM  
this creamed corn tastes like creamed crap
2003-07-19 03:53:00 PM  
Homer: I'm not not licking toads.
2003-07-19 03:53:47 PM  
ArtFleming - Thanks a lot...I wanted to do this one too from the sugar episode...

Homer: "I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers,' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?'"
2003-07-19 03:54:46 PM  
Homer I can't take HIS money. I can't print my OWN money. I have to WORK for money. Why don't I just lay down and DIE...
2003-07-19 03:54:52 PM  
Skinner to Bart: "I finally have time
to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel.
Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are
brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call
it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding sir. First you think of an
idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title
that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this
[later]...was on the bestseller list for eighteen months!
Every magazine cover had...
[later]...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were
you thinking?! [realizing] I mean, thank you, come again.
2003-07-19 03:55:08 PM  
Went something like this:

(Homer and Lisa sitting on the couch watching TV)
Lisa: What is that crap? This cartoon is so unreal!
Homer: Thats because its a cartoon honey, sometimes they can get away with these things.

(Another Homer walks by the window outside whistling)
2003-07-19 03:55:26 PM  
"Why should we bother going anywhere? We'll only end up being back here." -- Homer Simpson

(especially good to know since i can't make it to Comic-Con this year. <:~(
2003-07-19 03:55:42 PM  
I started this post at about 2.15(CST) or so ,finished at about 3, and I'm on a 28k modem, so, please forgive if these end up being repeats.

"Reader's Digest? I love your Word Builder. It's really, really, really...good." -Homer

"Daddy, this tastes like grandma." -Ralph

"Ovulate, damn you!" -Homer

"Aww, son, let me dry those tears." -Homer *blows a hair dryer in Bart's face*

"Mmmmm....Unprocessed fish sticks." (drool) -Homer

"And look out at the corner of 4th(?) and Elm because I just dropped my bagel." -Arnie Pie

"The Internet? Is that thing still around?" -Homer

"And you'll want to rustproof these babies because they'll rust faster than....What are ya' doin' Gil? Close the deal." -Gil
2003-07-19 03:56:00 PM  
"we the jury, in the case Orenthal James Simpson, do hereby find him not guilty of first degree murder."

funniest simpson line ever.
2003-07-19 03:56:05 PM  
Marge: The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four day weekend!
2003-07-19 03:58:09 PM  
Marge: "Someone perform CPR!"

Homer: "I see a bad moon rising-"

Marge: "I said CPR not CCR!"
2003-07-19 03:58:26 PM  
When homer went to clown college and went to entertain at milhouse's party and crashed into a tree in his yard but did not fly out the windshield until about 3 seconds later.
2003-07-19 03:59:07 PM  
"I cant take other people's money, I cant print my own money...what dont i just lay down and die"

probably got that worng
2003-07-19 03:59:34 PM  
"I don't expect anything from you except to die and be a very cheap funeral." --Hank Scorpio
2003-07-19 03:59:37 PM  
Grandpa watching boxing....
Homer: who invented this crappy thing?
Lisa: Thomas Edison did, he also invented the light bulb and....
Homer: No he didnt Lisa, youre a liar Lisa, a dirty dirty liar.

Grimes son: Its me! Frank Grime's son!
Homer stands in silence.
Grimes son: Frank Grimes, the man that you killed by making him go insane!!
Homer: hahahahahaha o yea. How is old Grimey anyways?

Homer: I dont have anyone!
Marge: You have Lenny and Carl.
Homer: Lenny and Carl are worthless!!! Marge PLEASE dont tell Lenny and Carl that I said that because without them i dont know what id do!

Homer: Bart! stop clicking that pen! ooohh that looks fun, Ill race you!
Bart: Ready... GO!
>Lisa walks down stairs pissed offHomer comes running down the stairs very happy<
Homer: Lisa Lisa!! I was racing bart and then he said "this is stupid" and threw his pen on the floor and I won!

Doctor: Your child his a homosexual!
Homer: Bart cant be gay!!
Doctor: You mean your son isnt Milhouse? (slowly puts the file into a filing cabinet)

Doctor: Your son bart has a short attention span
Homer's brain: Doo doo doo, da da HEY! doo doo doo doo!

Homer walks in the to bathroom and starts taking a piss
Bart: DAD! Cant you see im in here?!
Homer: O im sorry son, I didnt know that you, jay leno, and a monkey were bathing a clown in the bathtub. (walks out whistling)
2003-07-19 04:00:30 PM  
Ralph - "Hi principal skinner....Hi Super Nintendo Charlmers"
2003-07-19 04:01:20 PM  
Oh God no.. I'm redorkulating.
2003-07-19 04:01:57 PM  
"Fugu me!"

"That's specious reasoning, Dad"
"Thank you, Lisa"
2003-07-19 04:02:08 PM  
Marge: Oh Maggie, when are you going to talk?

Lisa : Well, don't push her. Remember, it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Homer's Brain: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.

Homer: Takes one to know one.

Homer's Brain: Swish!

Way too many to decide which is best.
Displayed 50 of 823 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.